HE'S MY HEART'S DESIRE
By Mallory Quinn
Chapter 13
"Reach for the stars…"
There where a lot of people in the waiting room of clinic of Angels in mission. A nurse approached a young mother with her little girl that had a bad cut on the knee.
- The doctor will see you now, Ma'm, said the nurse, follow me
The mother followed the nurse taking her little girl in her arms to carry her.
- Hello said the doctor smiling
- Oh you're a girl! Said the little girl, I've never seen a girl doctor before!
- You're seeing one now said the doctor smiling. What's your name?
- Roberta, but they call me Bobbie…
- Pleased to meet you Bobbie, I'm doctor Andrew… let's see this cut you have… oh let me guess, you like to climb trees like a boy?
- How did you guess? Asked the little girl
- Because I was like you, too. I'm going to take care of it
- Is it going to hurt? Asked Bobbie a little worried
- Can you sing a song with me? Do you know… ♪♪nine green bottles hanging on the wall, nine green bottles hanging on the wall, if one green bottle just happen to fall there will be…♪♪
The little girl continued;
- ♪♪ Eight green bottles, hanging on the wall, eight green bottles hanging on the wall, if one green bottle just happen to fall…♪♪
Meanwhile, the doctor took some cotton with rubbing alcohol and some disinfectant and started to clean the cut. Bobbie had a little "ouch" but continued signing until the doctor finished putting the bandage on.
- So, did it hurt? Asked the doctor
- I don't remember said Bobbie
The doctor started to laugh with joy. She took a lollipop and after she looked at Bobbie's mother who approved with her head, she gave it to the little girl.
- Thank you doctor said the little girl happy
- You're very welcome, she said smiling, bye and be careful the next time…
- Bye, said the mother
- Bye, said Bobbie getting out the door, and thank you
There was a knock on the door.
- Dr. Andrew? Said a man's voice, can I come in?
- Yes, of course. What can I do for you?
- I have a pain here said the young man showing his neck
- Oh! Said the Dr. Andrew, let me see that…
She came near him and kissed him on the neck.
- Is that better?
- More…
She kissed him again and again… the young man took her lips and kissed her passionately she tied her arms around his neck and responded to the kiss. When he finally let go of her, they were breathless.
- Candy, I love you
- I love you too, Anthony
- I can't wait to marry you
- Soon, she said laughing, you've been patient until now…
- I know… all those years… You're dining with me tonight? I'll come and get you at 8 pm
- I'll be ready. See you later, honey
Doctor Andrew… She remembered a few years earlier, she came back from New York completely devastated and Albert had consoled her. She was crying in his arms and she didn't know how good Albert felt to have her curled up against him, even if it was to cry over another guy. He had tried to cheer her up as much as he could. He disappeared a few days later to reappear as the Great Uncle William, with his memory.
- Mr. Albert? I can't believe that you're the Great Uncle William! Said Candy surprised
- I know it was a choc for me too…
- You're Anthony's uncle… I confided in you…
- I won't say anything, don't worry. But to get your mind off your problems, you don't want do to something else?
- Well, I was thinking about becoming a doctor…
- There you go! You can go to medical school…
- Like Anthony… Mr…Albert… Euh Uncle William
- Albert is fine
- Are you trying to throw me into Anthony's arms?
- Well, he's available and he loves you. You need someone
She didn't know that inside himself, he wanted to be that person.
- I'm ready to pay for your studies and even open a clinic for the both of you later…
- I don't know, Mr. Albert…
- At least it will take your mind off Terry …
Nothing will take her mind off Terry! Candy thought about it for a while. She needed something to do so she could stop thinking about the lost happiness with Terry. Medical school? There were not a lot of women doctors, it would be a challenge. She might be the only woman in the whole school… Why not?
- Ok, Mr. Albert, I'm going to enrol in medical school…
- You're ready for the challenge? It's a man's world…
- It's also the 20th century… women have to start fighting all those preconceptions…
That's how she went to medical school and became a doctor. At first it was to stop thinking about Terry, but in the long run, she liked what she was doing despite the offensive remarks of some of the teachers. She had met another young girl, Diana Trevor that started at the same time as her. Candy was glad to have a roommate. They helped each other; Candy was a nurse she had a little less trouble than Diana who had just came out of the local privates schools. She had strawberry-blond hair and grey eyes. She was thin and tall. Since they were the only girls in the first year, they became very good friends.
- I was in London at St. Paul college said Candy
- Oh… my cousin, Bertrand Chandler was there
- Oh Bertrand? Yes I know him. We had a play "Erudite women" from Molière, he had an acute appendicitis. I remember wondering what that was at the time…
- Yes, he told me about it… he was sorry he missed the play. So did you have a lot of suitors in school?
- Well… started Candy, I had my boyfriend, Anthony…
- Anthony Brown? Oh… the one in second year…?
- Yes, and another… Terrence Grandchester…
- The actor? He was with you in St. Paul?
- Bertrand didn't tell you?
- That's not the kind of things guys like to talk about…but wow! Which one did you prefer?
- I loved him both…
- You must have preferred one… come on you can tell me… I won't tell anybody…
- That's not it. I was going to London on a boat to join Anthony and my cousins… in fact, Anthony is my cousin by adoption… I met Terry, Terrence… and my life have never been the same since…
- You fell in love with him…
- Everybody expected Anthony and I…but I couldn't get Terry out of my head. I finally chose him, but before I could tell Anthony the news…
She told her about what had happened in the barn, Terry's sacrifice, and how she sacrificed herself, in her turn so he could be with Susanna. While she was telling the story, she was hanging the poster Terry had signed for her on the wall.
- Wow, it seems like, you guys are too good for your own good , said Diana looking at the poster, so what now, you're going back to Anthony?
- For the moment, I'm concentrating on my studies said Candy, let's see where life takes us.
- "For you my Juliet, forever, your Romeo" read Diana on the poster
- I'm glad I'm not the only girl…
- Me too. We'll have to fight in this men's world. I had to fight my father already…
- What about you, did you have any suitors in school?
- Yes, but nothing serious like you…
- When we finish school, there will be a line of guys wanting to marry the lady doctors
- At least you have Anthony…
- I'm not with Anthony, but who knows?
She didn't noticed Diana's sad look. This last one had a thing for Anthony, she was watching him from afar. But he was in love with Candy, her new best friend.
That's how she became a doctor. She came out of her daydreaming and returned to her patients.
After she finished work, Candy went to an elegant boutique.
- Miss Andrew said the girl at the counter, hello. Mrs. Cornwell is at the back
- Thanks, I know the way she said walking toward the back of the boutique, Annie? Annie, are you there?
- Candy? Come in honey. How are you?
- I'm tired; we've been really busy at the clinic. What about you? When are you going on maternity leave?
- I still have two moths
- You have to rest, Annie, you're getting yourself tired
- No, it's like I'm ten times stronger, on the contrary! Being pregnant, made me very strong
- Be careful, don't over do it
- You're talking like Archie, now…
- He's right and so am I. I need a dress not to fancy for diner tonight
- You're going out with Anthony
- Yes, to diner…
- Oh… are you sure that's what you want?
Candy knew what she was thinking about.
- That's what should've happen years ago, if…
- But exactly…
- Annie…
- Ok. I'm shutting up. Let's go get you a dress
They went back to the boutique and found a simple but elegant dress. Annie had finished her course a few years ago and her father helped her open a boutique as promised. She was in 7th heaven, because she was doing what she liked. She had to open a boutique in New York, on 5th Avenue pretty soon. She wanted to do it before the birth of her baby that was due in two months.
Candy and Anthony were having diner in a nice restaurant. They were engaged to be married for only a few months. But they were going out for years. Candy with her medical studies, got close to Anthony. He was a year before her, so he helped her a lot an encouraged her as well in her studies. Especially when she wanted to give up because the majority of the students were boys, not girls. Having Anthony to protect her and defend her was a bonus. Anthony was still madly in love with her since their early teens. Candy…had had feelings for Terry. She started med school to find something to do, so she won't let her mind think about Terry and med school was already very difficult for a woman in the beginning of 20th century. When she started to get close to Anthony again, she wanted to be honest with him. She told him the truth, that she was in love with Terry and that she can never be with him because he was going to marry another woman. She talked about the New York incident and the deal she made with Susanna Marlowe.
- I don't want to hide anything from you, Anthony; you deserve to know what's going on. I don't want you to thing that you're my consolation price…
- Candy, I know you love me… you've always loved me. I've always considered Grandchester as a troublemaker that came and disturb our perfect plans…
- But Anthony, I was ready to stay with him for the rest of my life… If the accident with Susanna hadn't happened…
- That's just it… for me it means that you weren't destined to be together, the both of us, yes…
Candy remained sad thinking. Was Anthony right? She wasn't destined to be with Terry? But with Anthony? If that was the case, why did destiny put Terry on her way and at the same time had brought all those feelings? To torture her? To make her doubt? Life was not getting simpler in the long run, it was becoming more complicated!
- So you forgive me? Asked Candy
- There's nothing to forgive, we were on a break, remember? Oh… Candy! I love you so much, and I'm so happy!
He took her in his arms and kissed her with passion. That's what Anthony was waiting for, ever since they left St. Paul college, since the night she had asked him for a break. They finished med school and Albert built a private clinic for them so they could practice the way they wanted to. There was a wing in the clinic that Candy had transformed into a free clinic for the poor part of the population. Albert was financing the free clinic with pleasure, encouraging that way the generosity of other family members and the Chicago's high society. Candy had also brought some of her friends from St. Joan's hospital, Flammy whom after coming back from the war, was a new woman, Julie, Sabine and of course her med school roommate, Diana. This last one was still in love with Anthony and didn't tell Candy anything, too happy to see him everyday. Candy also had other nurses and young doctors in training and she remembered herself in the beginnings of her studies. Everything was perfect.
They continued their diner. Candy saw that Anthony had something to tell her.
- Anthony? You have something to tell me?
- Honey, what would you say if we take a little vacation?
- But the clinic…
- Diana and the other doctors can take care of it
- Ok, what for?
- To go to New Jersey…
- New Jersey?
- Yes, there's a medical conference. I think that a lot of doctors from around the world will be there. Il would be interesting to share our methods between doctors
- And I thought you wanted to spend time with me… she joked
- But, the sessions will be during the day, and sometimes only in the morning, we will have a lot of free time
- Oh, so I can bring Rosemary with me?
- You think you will have the time to take care of a child with the sessions
- That's why we will bring a nanny with us…
Anthony looked at her smiling. She always thought about other people first, and nothing came before Rosemary, her little girl, her protégée.
- Ok, honey, you can bring Rosemary
- Thanks, Anthony, thank you very much
- I will ask for a suite with two bedrooms with a crib… I'll do it tomorrow
- Don't forget the nanny
- So three bedrooms
They finished their diner talking about what they were going to do in New Jersey. He took her back to her place… yes to her place, she didn't have her apartment anymore, but she had a house with three bedrooms upstairs and a little garden for Rosemary.
He kissed her at the door and didn't come in. He went back to the Andrew Manor.
- Good evening Aurelia, said Candy entering in her house, every thing ok? No problems?
- No, everything is fine. She ate and now she's asleep like an angel…
- Yeah, she is an angel isn't she? Thanks, Aurelia
- You're very welcome doctor, it's a pleasure taking care of her
Candy went upstairs to the bedrooms to see how was Rosemary. She entered Rosemary's bedroom in silence. She looked at the two-year-old little girl that was asleep in her crib. Her beautiful blond and curly hair was spilled on the little light pink pillow. She started to move a little in all directions crying a little. Candy knew that it was a sign that she wanted to pee. She woke her up gently; the little girl opened her eyes with difficulty
- Mommy? Pee pee…
- Ok, darling, I'll take you, said Candy carrying her to the toilet
Once she finished, Candy kissed the little girl and put her back in her crib and she closed her eyes as soon as her head hit the little light pink pillow.
She went to get ready to go to bed. And her head was lost in the past…
She was on training in a small clinic not too far from the Pony house, well, voluntary work to help the poor and the homeless. She was leaving at Lakewood at that time. The others were in Chicago, the house was empty, and she could study at her easy, as opposed to the Pony house where the children will have all her attention. It was pouring outside that evening of June. It had been very hot the days before, so the rain was more than welcome. Candy arrived for her shift, soaking wet. She took her uniform to change and a towel to get herself dry, especially her long hair. She walked to the staff room. She heard two nurses talking;
- It's probably a "daddy's little girl" that couldn't keep her legs closed…
- An now she's abandoning the poor baby… we'll have to take it to the orphanage
- It breaks my heart said another voice, I don't like doing that…
- I can take care of it said Candy entering; I lived in an orphanage not too far from here, the Pony house…
- You want to do it? Asked one of the nurses named Martha
- Yes, I will take it at the end of my shift
- Thanks Candy. I'm going to make the mother sign some papers…
- And I'm leaving said the other nurse, Bye!
Martha left the room and went to the baby's mother's room. Candy went to see the abandoned baby. It was a little girl, very beautiful and chubby. She had blond curly hair. It was a real little angel and Candy fell madly in love with her. She imagined herself being this little girl…
- I won't sign anything! Go to hell! Yelled a voice that was only too familiar to Candy
- No, said Candy out loud, don't tell me that…
- Leave-me alone! I don't want to sign anything, get out of here with your stinky papers! Said the mother
Candy heard footsteps noise coming out of the baby's mother's room. Candy hid, so the baby's mother won't see her. She look from where she was hiding, and saw a weaken Eliza Reagan talking back loud and with no respect for those who had just helped her bringing her child into the world.
- But you can't leave said Martha; you have to wait a day of two…
- It's out of question that I spend the night here said Eliza, I'm even ready to sign the papers if that's going to help me leave now…
They gave her the papers, which she filled out for a while and then she left without saying anything.
Candy came out of her hiding place. Eliza Reagan had had an illegitimate baby and she'd abandoned her? But why? She had enough money to take care of her… But she didn't want to make her family look bad, like that wasn't already done! She had the reputation of an easy girl; all the men, young, middle aged or old passed on her. Her brother had even tried to get her married so she'll stop her foolishness, but the marriage lasted only a few months, because the new bride didn't seem to understand the word "fidelity" and couldn't keep her legs closed. And there it was! A poor innocent baby, who never asked anything to anybody, was going to find herself in an orphanage!
- But where's… did that little... said Martha's voice. Oh, she filled out the papers...but. What the... Candy! Candy! Come an see what's happening here!
Candy arrived in panic. What was happening?
- Yes, Martha, I'm here…
- Do you know this girl that just had the baby?
Candy that didn't know how to lie by nature, was so stunned to see Eliza in the clinic, not to mention having an illegitimate baby…
- Yes, I was in school with her admitted Candy
- Were you friends?
- She couldn't see me in a painting…
- Oh, I see…
- You see what?
- Look at those forms she filled out…
Candy took the forms and she opened her eyes wide, reading the content.
- What! But that's my name!
- Do you know her real name?
- Yes, but…
- I understand, you want to respect her anonymity…
- Yes…for her family
- But what she wrote, it's…
- … a blessing in disguise…. Said Candy
- But how…?
- Martha, according to this trick that …this girl just played on me, I'm this baby's mother…
- It doesn't bother you?
- Not at all! I was abandoned as a baby in front of an orphanage…
- Candy… what do you have in mind?
- I'm going to take this baby to the orphanage. But according to the present this girl had just gave me, it's my baby…
- You want to keep it? Are you crazy?
- Maybe… but I'm going to keep her at the orphanage until I'm able to take care of her. I'm going to legally adopt her…
- Candy…
- Listen, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm saving a baby whom, because of her irresponsible mother, is mine in a way, on paper that is… we can't falsify the papers after the mother signed them
- So, if someone does some research, you'll be the mother on paper… this girl must've loved you! Said Martha ironically
- Oh, you haven't heard anything yet! Said Candy laughing
- Ok. Take the baby to the orphanage and then… what ever come, comes!
- Thanks, Martha. But not a word….
- Not a word about what?
- Thanks
So she brought the baby at the Pony house with a copy of the papers that Eliza had filled out.
- Candy? Said Miss Pony, what do you have there?
- A baby…
- A baby? Said Sister Maria, where does it come from? The hospital?
- Yes…, said Candy
- But, said Miss Pony, who's is it?
- Mine, said Candy
- Yours? Said Sister Maria
- Yes. And I would like for you to keep her for me until I finished school
Miss Pony and Sister Maria were speechless. Candy had a baby? They old boarder was grown up, third year of med school and knew what she was doing. If it were the teen Candy and careless, she would've had a sermon. But they didn't say anything and agreed to take care of the baby.
- Ok, Candy said Miss Pony, what's her name?
- Her name is Rosemary, said Candy, I will bring you everything you need tomorrow for sure. I know that you can manage for tonight…
- Of course, Candy said Sister Maria, who was retaining herself not to explode
Candy kissed Rosemary; she hugged Miss Pony and Sister Maria in her arms.
- Thank you with all my heart, my two mommies. Take good care of your granddaughter!
She took Sister Maria on the side and hugged her again.
- Thank you Sister Maria for restraining yourself. I know that you want to yell at me, like in the old days. But I thank you with all my heart, for not saying anything
Candy then spend all the free time she had at the Pony House with Rosemary. She couldn't get enough of her, and her heart was always breaking every time she had to leave her. It was around the time she started to get close to Anthony. He was wondering why she was going to the Pony house so often. One day he followed her and had the shock of his life when he saw a little baby girl running to Candy calling her "Mommy". He was sick to his stomach! Candy had a baby? But … how? Grandchester! The bastard! He came near them.
- Candy, he said
- Anthony? What are you doing here?
- I followed you…
- Oh…
- Candy, how could you hide the fact that you have a baby from me?
- Anthony, I didn't really know how to tell you…
- Who's the father? He asked suddenly…
- Oh, but…
- It's Grandchester, isn't it? That bastard! To take advantage of you that way, when he's with another woman! That's him all right! Now he's leaving you to pick up the pieces…
- There are no pieces to pick up; it's the most wonderful thing in the world, to be a mother! Anthony, let me introduce you to Rosemary…
- Rose…
- Like your mother. The rose is my favourite flower, because of you, for that matter. I've always liked that name. I hope it doesn't bother you. Please, Anthony…
Anthony was speechless. He was completely confused. He would've preferred to have find Candy with another man… with a baby? A baby meant that she would be link forever to that damned actor! And that name… he looked at Candy with the baby and he couldn't help melting at their view. He loved her so much. He took her in his arms and hugged her with the baby in her arms.
- Thank you Anthony, with all my heart
- I love you Candy, with or without baggage…
- You're sure it doesn't bother you to take care of someone else's baby? And people are going to talk…
- I love you Candy, we're going to shut up everybody's mouth
- But what if they assume the baby is yours?
- Let them believe whatever they want…
- Oh Anthony, I don't want to put you in that position
- You're not doing anything. If it's what people are going to think, let them. That's all.
- But…
- Candy, I don't want to lose you again…
- I love you Anthony… but promise me that you won't say anything to Terry, if you see him. He doesn't know and I don't want him to try to take her away from me… she lied to avoid misunderstandings
She had consulted a lawyer discretely and legalized Rosemary's adoption, just to be on the safe side. So that no one could ever take her away from her.
And that's how she found herself with an adorable little girl. She never regretted what she had done. People talked, since she wasn't married but she didn't care. Her little girl having the love of a mother was the most important thing. She grew up without a mother and she craved for a mother's love. She had Miss Pony and Sister Maria, but there were a lot of other children…So she could take a few looks and whispers if it meant that Rosemary would have her love and grow up happy. She didn't know why she was abandoned, but she wished her mother, if that was the case, had stayed with her, nothing replaces the love of a mother. She went to bed after thanking the Lord for the blessing Rosemary was.