HE'S MY HEART'S DESIRE
By Mallory Quinn
Chapter 14
"Forgotten Promises…"
Terrence G. Grandchester was going back to his house after spending the day at the theatre rehearsing and looking for new actors. He had a villa that he shared with Susanna Marlowe, his fiancée, since the accident. That accident that rocked his whole life. He found himself engaged to a woman he didn't love and the woman he loved, didn't want him anymore. He had sent her a letter, inviting her to come and stay with him and she never answered him. She didn't come to see him at the premiere. The role that had made his career, his big break, which would have allowed them to live the way they wanted to. She never contacted him again. He respected the promise made in his last letter to her, he never bothered her again. But that promise was the hardest to keep. All his being and his common sense was telling him not to trust a letter that she might have not received, to go talk to her in person. But there was Susanna. Susanna who saved his life, and who was crazy in love with him. But, she wasn't the woman he loved. She treated him very well, like a woman in love, but he was incapable of loving her. He had become cold, taciturn and angry. He practically never smiled. He was not happy. He thought about his father that had to abandon his mother for an arranged marriage. His father was unhappy with a woman he didn't love. But he thought he would have had more luck than his father, he had met the girl of his dreams on a boat taking him to England; it took time to convince her, but she finally admitted she shared his feelings or actually, she finally admitted that she wanted to be with him. Everything was fine until the night of the premiere. Then he saw his whole world come crashing down; she didn't come, and he found himself stuck with a woman he didn't love. If she had come, maybe they would've found a solution together, for the Susanna matter. Now he was engaged to Susanna for years, he couldn't get around to setting a wedding day.
Susanna knew that Terry didn't love her, but since she was crazy in love with him, she couldn't let him go. She thought about Candy, about the sacrifice she made for the man she loved, allowing her in that way to be with Terry. She promised her that Terry would be happy. But he wasn't happy, he didn't love her. Her love was one-sided… Terry was unhappy and if Candy knew about it, she would come and take him back. But Candy must be married by now, and maybe she had kids too. She prayed that Candy wasn't free to come and take her Terry back. He didn't love her, but she loved him too much to give him up. She even tried to seduce him when he was coming back drunk, but he always fell asleep after only a few kisses.
She was sitting in the living room on her wheelchair. She heard noise at the door, Terry was back. She was happy, even if he barely looked at her.
- Good evening Susanna said Terry
- Good evening Terry she said with a smile, did you have a good day?
- Yes thanks. Did you think about my suggestion?
- Which one? The one about going to New Jersey to meet doctors specialized in prosthesis?
- Yes…
- I thought about it and I don't think that…
- Susanna, you have to stop that. You can't continue to refuse all the treatments available to you. You have to try and make an effort to walk with the help of a prosthesis
- But Terry…
- Be courageous, you can do it and with a little luck, you could even go back on stage. You're an excellent actress Susanna, it's a pity that you can't use your talent
- Who's going to hire me?
- You know that Robert is ready to take you back as soon as possible… let's go see what the doctors are going to tell us, then you'll make you decision, ok?
- Ok, Terry. We can go to New Jersey to the conference. You can make the arrangements.
- You won't regret it, you'll see
Terry went to his library to read. He left Susanna alone. He was reading the paper and sometimes tabloid newspaper. He remembered an article that was talking about the engagement of two young people from Chicago's high society that were in love since childhood. Susanna had put the paper there on purpose so he would see that she was going to get married…
He had seen her once in a hotel in Boston last year; she had a baby in her arms, a little girl, blond like her mother. She seemed so happy with her baby in her arms. She was glowing with happiness. He didn't dare go near her, not only because of the promise, but it hurt him to see her with a baby that should've been his. She had a baby with Anthony. She had married him… the boyfriend… Why couldn't he get her out of his head? Some people had the privilege of falling in love a lot times in different ways; but for Terrence Grandchester, that wasn't the case; his heart belonged to a certain Candice White Andrew ever since the moment he met her that New Year's eve night on the boat.
One of the servants came to announce that diner was served.
Annie was at Candy's helping her pack her bags.
- Wow, a romantic trip said Annie
- No, well the evenings will be free, but there's Rosemary…
- Why don't you leave her? I can take care of her
- No thanks, Annie. Otherwise I will want to come back faster. I'm going to miss her
- Candy you practically never get separated from her
- I know, but I missed her when I was going to school. Maybe it's the fact that I was abandoned, but I don't want her to feel alone…
- …or abandoned, I understand.
- There, we're ready… said Candy
- And the nanny?
- Aurelia, are you ready?
- Yes, I'm coming answered Aurelia
She came down the stairs with Rosemary in her arms, all dressed up for the trip. She started to laugh when she saw Candy. Candy took her in her arms. Anthony had sent the driver to come and get them. They went to the train station. She kissed Annie and got on the train. The trip was long and tiresome and when they finally arrived at the hotel, they were exhausted and hungry. They changed and went to the hotel's restaurant to eat. They formed a very beautiful family.
- We can go outside to rest in the garden, said Anthony
- Wait, Rosemary needs her hat, me too for that matter, said Candy, I'm going to go get them. Wait for me outside
- Ok, honey said Anthony
Candy went to their suite to her hat and the baby's. She came out of the room, locked the door and almost ran to get out of the hotel. She arrive at the corner still running and hit a man that was turning to go to his room. Candy didn't see him, they collide hard and they fell on the floor.
- Oww said Candy, I'm sorry, I was in a hurry
- Watch were you're going… said the man rising his head
Candy rose her head at the same time and she remained speechless for a second.
- Terry? She said not too sure of herself
- Candy! He said still in shock
He helped her back on her feet. She picked up her hat. Terry picked up Rosemary's hat and gave it to Candy.
- Thanks, said Candy uncomfortable, how are you?
- I've been better, but what can we do… and you?
- I'm fine, thank you. I'm here for the medical conference…
- Me too, I have to see a specialist for Susanna
- She's with you?
- Yes, and you?
- I'm with Anthony and my…daughter she finally said
- You have a daughter? How old is she?
- Two years old…
- Congratulations …
- Thank you. I have to go. See you around she said leaving
Terry looked at her leaving. He couldn't believe that destiny was so cruel to him! She was in the same hotel as him with her husband and her little girl! That was just to put the knife back in his wound!
Candy was outside with her little family. She couldn't believe that she had seen Terry. It was the first time she saw him since the night of the premiere of Romeo and Juliet. Rosemary was playing with a ball. Candy was playing with her and they were both laughing out loud. Rosemary followed the ball a little further; it had landed on the lap of a woman on a wheelchair. Candy followed her.
- Susanna, said Candy
- Is this your little girl? She said with a big smile, hello, my name is Susanna and this is Terry
- Zanna, Terry said Rosemary
- Hello, said Terry with a smile, how are you?
- I'm fine thank you. What about you?
- I'm fine, said Terry
- Rosemary, we have to go said Candy taking her. See you later?
Anthony saw the scene from afar and damned Terry inside of him. It's like destiny was set on testing their love…
"If he knew that he was Rosemary's father… he thought, damn you Grandchester!"
Candy went back to Anthony. She saw the change in his expression.
- You're mad? Asked Rosemary, did I go too far?
- Oh no, honey, said Anthony, I'm not mad at you… he said, hugging her
- Aurelia, take Rosemary to the suite… said Candy
- Ok, said Aurelia, come here, sweetie
- Are you coming mommy? And the sweetie
- I'll come later, honey said Candy, ok?
- Ok
Rosemary and Aurelia went back to the suite. Candy stayed alone with Anthony.
- Are you ok, honey ? She asked
- I'm the one that should ask you that question
- It's hard to see him, but I'm fine
- Ok, are you sure you don't want to tell him about the little one?
- Certain. Let's not talk about it anymore, please
She knew that if Anthony confronted Terry, he was going to be flabbergasted! She prayed that the stay happens without a problem. She didn't want any needless trouble. But to see Terry again, was harder on her than she had thought, especially next to Susanna.
Susanna was pleased that Candy was with Anthony and a little girl on top of that! That meant that she wouldn't come and get Terry away from her. She looked at Terry and saw that he had an indifferent expression, but she knew he was hurt to see Candy with a little girl that could've been his, but wasn't. This stay is going to be full of surprises!
Terry was looking at Candy with Anthony and every time it was like they were sticking a knife in his heart. He didn't think he would feel this way. What he was feeling for her was stronger than ever. To see her together with the little one was a very nice vision, he wished he could've seen everyday.
In the evening during diner, the restaurant was full of different doctors that had came from around the world for the conference that was suppose to start the next day. The tables were set to form a "U". Among the doctors there were also women doctors from around the world. Candy was happy to be able to share and compare notes with women doctors from different countries. Terry and Susanna were also there in the dining room and they were surprised to see Candy talking with doctors. Terry thought she was a very good nurse to be able to discuss that way with different doctors. But then when he listened closely, he realised that she was a doctor herself! His Freckles, a doctor! She will always continue to astound him.
When diner was over, everybody went back to their room so they can rest and wake up early the next morning for the beginning of the conference. Susanna and Terry have met a doctor specialized in prosthesis and he suggested that Susanna be his patient so that he could demonstrate to his colleagues how the prosthesis worked. Susanna agreed with enthusiasm. Terry was happy that Susanna would become a little more independent, that will take a weigh off his heart.
Candy was in her suite with her clan. She went to kiss Rosemary in her bed. She was still awake.
- Not asleep yet, said Candy
- I want a story, mommy
- Ok, honey, said Candy smiling
She took a book of short stories and started to read to the little girl, it didn't take her long to fall asleep. Candy kissed her and got out of the room quietly
- She's asleep? Asked Anthony
- Sound asleep, said Candy
- I want to say two words to that damned Grandchester…
- Anthony, please…
- I can't promise you I won't say anything…
- Try to restrain yourself, please
- I'm going to try
But she knew that as soon as he gets an occasion, he was going to say two words to Terry. She had to tell Terry because if she told Anthony that Terry had nothing to do with Rosemary, he's going to think that she's protecting him.
- I'm going to go to the reception to get the women's program for tomorrow morning, said Candy, I'll be right back
She kissed Anthony and got out of the room, before he could say anything. Aurelia stayed with Anthony and they started to talk about this and that.
Candy went to the reception and asked for the program.
- Here you are, Dr. Andrew said the receptionist
- Dr. Andrew said a familiar voice
Candy turned around and saw the deep blue eyes that used to look at her with so much love, looking at her now in a cold and icy way…
- Terry, she said softly, I was about to ask for your room number…
- Why? He said coldly
- I wanted to talk to you…
- We have nothing to say to each other doctor Andrew, he said even colder than before
- Terry, I beg you, it's important… it's about Rosemary…
- Your daughter?
- Yes
She wanted to talk about the child. The child he would have given anything to be his.
- Yes, I absolutely have to talk to you, please for old time sake…
- Old time sake? You forgot about me pretty quickly….
- Why are you so bitter? You're not happy with Susanna?
- Either, you're joking or you're provoking me…
- I don't understand, why did you marry her then?
- Who told you I married her?
- But I thought that…
- You thought what? That I was going to throw myself in the arms of the first woman, because you didn't want me? He yelled
- Terry, keep your voice down, everybody is looking at us…
She didn't really understand what was happening. Terry was unhappy and he didn't marry Susanna! What was going on? She sacrificed herself, gave up the man she loved, so he could take care of Susanna and so that this last one make him happy. Susanna had saved his life: she had lost her leg, she needed Terry. But did they, Susanna and her, made an awful mistake? Terry was cold and taciturn, he was not happy at all! Susanna didn't keep her promise! Terry was miserable! My God? Candy felt bad. She never would have thought that her sacrifice did more harm than good… Terry was unhappy because he wasn't with her! Her! But…
- I see that you're in no mood to talk… or you don't want to talk to me. I'm going to go now, then, she said sadly
Terry didn't answer. Candy went back to her room completely devastated. All those years, she was sure she had made the right decision by leaving Terry to Susanna. All those years when she suffered because she loved a man that will never be hers. That was all for nothing? She spent a sleepless night, turning in her bed thinking about Terry. Oh how much she still loved him, like the first day! To see him again, after all those years… she was happy.
Terry was in his bed, he couldn't sleep either. He saw Candy and she seemed surprised by his anger. She thought he was married to Susanna? Why? And what did she want to talk about, regarding her little girl Rosemary? The daughter she had with Anthony? The daughter that should've been his, if they lived their lives together? But the anger was submerging him every time he looked at her, preventing him to be rational. But a part of him, still couldn't forget about her, even with Susanna. He tried to love her, aside from a few kisses sometimes when he was drunk, he didn't desire her. He had told her that he didn't want to touch her until they were married.
- But you spent the night with Candy in Chicago…
- You weren't in the room with us, you can't assume…
- You mean nothing happened?
- She wanted to wait until our wedding night
- But, I'm not Candy, I want you Terry…
- Susanna, I don't want to take advantage of you, we're going to wait for our wedding night
Susanna didn't insist. Terry wanted to keep her pure till the wedding, it would be kind of ridiculous for her it insist that he be intimate with her, when he was respecting her by preserving her. Terry had a sigh of relief. If this marriage never happened, it would be too soon. But he couldn't postpone the wedding date forever.
The next morning, Anthony went to the conference very early. Candy took Rosemary for breakfast at the hotel's restaurant. Since there weren't enough tables because of all the people, they took her to a table where there was a man reading his paper.
- Rosemary, we're going to eat. What do you want to eat, bread?
- Toast! Said Rosemary
- With jam?
- Yes! Yum yum!
Candy burst out laughing. The man, who was reading the paper, couldn't believe his ears. He put the paper down to be sure, he wasn't dreaming.
- Freckles?
- Terry! It's like fate keep putting us on each other's path…
- Maybe it's a sign that I have to listen to you…
- Not in front of Rosemary, said Candy, where's Susanna?
- She has a re-education session…
- For her leg? Ok…
They talked about all and nothing. Aurelia arrived and took Rosemary for a walk. They were alone.
- What time does your husband come back?
- Husband?
- Brown…
- I'm not married either, Terry
- What?
- Anthony and I are not married…
- But the baby… you did it without being married?
- Those things happen every day, Terry
- But with me…. We made the promise…
Candy didn't answer. She had to tell him that she hadn't done anything yet with anybody. She had to tell him about Rosemary, before Anthony does it.
Terry was hurt to know that she did a baby without being married. He had made her the promise to wait… Why didn't she do the same thing with Anthony?
- Terry, I…
- Terry, Candy said Susanna's voice, what a nice surprise!
- How was it? Asked Terry
- Fine, but it was painful
- It's worth it, said Terry, I'm going to see you physio-trainer
He stood up and left the restaurant. Candy and Susanna were alone.
- Candy said Susanna, leave Terry alone…
Candy was stunned! How dared she? After her sacrifice…
- Susanna…
- Leave him alone, he's mine. You gave him to me, remember?
- Susanna, Terry is not a toy
- But he's with me
- You promised you will make him happy
- But I'm trying, leave him to me…
- Susanna, I'm not here to take Terry back. I have my life, my daughter…
- Exactly, concentrate on you daughter and your husband…
- I'm not married Susanna
- What? But… so you can take him back when ever you want…
- My gosh, you're obsessed with Terry!
- You promised to stay away!
- And you promised to make him happy…
- What do you mean by that, that you're taking him back?
Candy didn't answer and stood up to leave. The women's conference was going to start.
- Bye Susanna, have a nice day
She left without turning back. That Susanna had the nerve to ask her to leave Terry alone after the sacrifice she had made. Terry was miserable, and it was her fault. She should've talked to him, let him know that she saw him the night of his big triumph and maybe they would've found a solution together to Susanna's problem. Oh… but what was the use to cry over spilled milk?
During the afternoon, people were resting and others could go horse riding if they wanted to. Candy saw Terry from afar walking to the stables. Anthony had an appointment with another doctor from Europe to discus about new surgical methods.
- You're not going to be bored alone he asked Candy?
- No, I'll be fine Anthony, I'll find something to do
She decided to go horse riding. She could warn Terry about Rosemary. They gave her a white mare, very soft by the hotel staff. She rode her and started to run with the horse, hoping to fall on Terry. She was riding for a while, when she found a cave. She remembered the one in Scotland when she was with Terry after seeing Eliza… she came down the horse tied it to a tree, and was walking to the cave. She got in, there was not a lot of things, she saw some drawings on the wall.
- Does that remind you of something? Said Terry's voice
Candy was started a little, she had found Terry or he had found her…
- Yes, memories a little…
- Erotic?
- The state of mind at that time, yes
- You wanted to talk to me?
- Yes, it's about Rosemary…
- I'm listening…
- Ok. Here goes nothing… Anthony thinks you're Rosemary's father…
- WHAT!
- I know, and you think he's the father…
- Candy… can you tell me…unless you're the second immaculate conception …
Candy had a nervous laugh. Terry didn't miss one!
- … or someone forced himself on you…
Candy was impressed that Terry didn't even think that she did it with another one.
- Thanks…
- Why?
- For not thinking that I slept with someone else than Anthony…
- You may be a lot of things, but Mary-lye-down-there, you're not! You obviously didn't do it with your doctor either, otherwise he would've known that…
- I'm going to tell you the story, but you have to promise me that you won't repeat it to anybody, you hear me? Otherwise, I could lose my little girl.
- Ok.
Candy told him the whole story, what had happened with Eliza, the clinic, Anthony, the Pony house. Terry listened without saying a word. When she finished her story she said;
- Aside from Martha and the lawyer, you're the only person I trust with this story…
- That irresponsible slut had a baby under your name? Eliza by a very strange combination of circumstances, made you a very nice gift… you're so good, that it doesn't even bother you what people are thinking about a single mother…
- No. So you agree not to say anything if Anthony bring up the subject on the paternity, with you?
- I promise you said Terry. But if you get married, you'll have to tell him the truth; otherwise, he will figure it out by himself during your wedding night… unless you want me to help you remedy the situation…
Candy became bright as red.
- TERRY!
- What? A boy can dream, can he? The only thing that bothers me it's that he thinks I had some good time with you, and I'm only dreaming about it… I know, you don't want me. You're going to marry your doctor. I've given up the idea of having you in my life
- Susanna needs you…
- Susanna is a good friend, who wants more, but I don't love her…
- You're unhappy… I'm sorry Terry … it's all my fault!
- Your fault? Why, would it be your fault?
- Oh, Terry I'm going to tell you what happened. I was there…
- Where?
- In New York, at the première
- WHAT!
- I wanted to surprise you after the play, but during the break, I heard the rumours about Susanna… I went to the hospital, and I found her writing a suicide note. I promised her to leave you with her, because she needed you and she promised me to make you happy
- How could Susanna and you do this to me? Making the decision in my place, like I was some toy between you? He asked very angry, you could've let me in on the decision, after all, it was only, MY LIFE!
- But…
- You had no right! No right to make a decision of that magnitude in my place? You hear me! He yelled
- But, it seemed like the right decision at the time…
- Right for whom? I'm unhappy, because I'm stuck with a woman I don't love. Susanna is unhappy because she's with a man who doesn't love her! Apparently, you're the only one that's happy in this story, you've got your doctor!
- That's not fair, Terry! You don't know how much it cost me to leave…
- But you fell right back on your feet….
- Terry…
- No, leave-me alone! I need to clear my head…
- Ok. I'm sorry for everything and thank you very much for Rosemary's problem
He left the cave, took his horse and left there very quickly. Candy went back to her hotel room to think. Terry was very angry. He will probably talk to Susanna. He was right; Susanna and her had no right to make a decision of that magnitude without consulting him, because his life was affected too. But did she make the right decision to tell him the truth? Susanna will not be happy.