Angel left the room and I sat there. Staring into space. I let all the thoughts swim through me. Every single time I ever felt hurt or unwanted. Times I was happy, angry, afraid.
I thought about how happy I was when I knew my real mother, and how sad I was that our time was cut short. How happy I was my best friend was really my sister, how sad I was that Andrew wasn't really my brother. How angry I was that the Bloom's never intended to tell me about my real family and how upset I became that night, so upset I ran away.
Then I thought about recent times. Meeting back up with Angel, Scott, and Kevin. Angel happy with Spot. Getting together with Jack. All the times just being around Jack.
I smiled. Jack always made me smile. Why can't he be here with me? To help me through my pain? It's him I need most right now!
I let the tears fall for my foster family. Even a few of my tears were for the loss of Allison, a person whom, even though I hate, I would never wish death upon. I thought about the situation with my father and Angel and how she was caught in the middle, and I kept puting her there. Why was I doing this to her? She didn't want to be in this predicament in the first place and now that everyone's convinced her of going, I try to take it away from her.
All because of my greving. Thats the only reason I'm doing this; I wanted to meet my only living parent. It was selfish, but I couldn't help it.
I wonder all the time how different it would of been if it was Angel instead of me. Growing up with Scott and Kevin. Still knowing Angel, but not that she was my sister.
Then, lastly, I thought about my little brother, Kevin. He didn't know that I was his sister, well half-sister, yet and I don't think Angel ever wants to tell him. I guess it would be a lot easier to just let him go on believing that I wasn't his sister, but the longer we wait to tell him, the more its gonna hurt him. I want to be closer to him, but it seems like he'll never know. My family won't be complete until Kevin knows I'm his sister.
I heard the door open and Angel walked in. My hand flew to my heart as she startled my thoughts. "Oh, it's only you"
"Who'd ya think it was" she replied with a grin.
I rolled my eyes"I dunno. Ya scared me."
she laughed. "Didn't know I could sneak up on ya. I've neva been able ta, didn't know I could now" she smiled at me and I smiled back. She cleared her throat and then started talking about a sore subject. "so... do ya know whudd happened ta ya family? I mean, do ya think it was an accident er whudd? Trevor might ah done sumthin or da delanceys..."
My sister was catching on too quickly. I didn't want to tell her just yet, so I kept my explanation vague. "De Delancey's saw me once but I don think dey recognized me. Besides dey didn't know where we was stayin'."
"But dey could a followed ye. Dey did it before an kidnapped Kevin" Angel pointed out and I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. She was getting too good.
So I decided to change the subject, "Bout Kevin, does he know I'm yer sista?"
"I…dunno. Why d'ye think he might know somethin bout us?"
"Well, he couldn't tell if we was twins, cause I'm sooo much prettier den youse" I grinned and she swatted at me"an' he don't know me all dat well, its been a while. But whudd if Scott says anythin te him? Whudd would he do?"
"I ain't surre. I hope Scott don tell im. Mebe he told everyone bout us an dat Kevin don't know. But mebe he wouldn't undastand if we told im," Angel didn't want to tell him, and I knew she was avoiding it like it was a disease.
"Well I'm just sayin cuz he's me half brodda too. Its so hard te have family so close, yet so far," I lowered my head slowly, but brought it back up not wanting her to think I was really upset.
"I'm sorry. I think it might be mah fault. We should te Kevin cuz he has a right te know. I mean we're all family but I don' think he knows. Just like when you an Scott couldn't tell me dat youse were me twin."
"Yea, but dat was different. Well I'd like te think so. Mom said it was fer a good reason not te tell you. I wanned ye te know so bad," 'exactly da opposite ah what you wanna do fer Kev,' I thought.
"Who wouldn't? We were like best friends an didn't really know why."
"An we had so much in common. Ye know afta I found out I realized why we were friends, mah parents wanned te try an make our mudda happy by lettin us be friends," I smiled. At least the Bloom's were trying for me. Maybe they were gonna tell me, they just didn't know how.
"It's kinda funny. To bad we weren't identical cuz den we'd know. I mean dey couldn't hide our faces from each odda considerin de fact dat we lived so close tageda."
"Yea, ye eva wonda whudd it would a been like if we weren't separated?"
"No, cuz I always thought you were happia livin betta den us. I was happy one a us was doin ok in life," she said kind of sadly.
"But I wasn't always happy" I said and grabbed her hand"It's not as easy as ye think. Dey was always expectin so much from me, I felt like I let em down."
"But at least ye did de best ye could right?"
"But still, I wasn't always de daughta dey wanned."
"How do you know dat? Dey loved ye er else dey would a kicked ye out a long time ago. Dey didn't have te keep you. An' dey even kept Allison an' she'd neva be da daughta dey wanted," she joked and I giggled.
"How could you be so surre?"
"Cuz dey took you in even though you weren't even derre real daughta. Dey loved ye cuz of who ye toined out te be. I know I do" Angel squeezed my hand and smiled.
"I love you too." I smiled back and she hugged me. "Thanks fer de talk. It really helped. But I neva got te say I loved em eida."
"It's ok, dey should know."
"So are ye gonna see our fatha?"
"Yea, but you, Scott, an Spot have te come. I don want im meetin Kevin cuz Kevin ain't even his."
"Have ye told Spot dis?" I was happy she was gonna go and that I got to go with her. The best of both worlds.
"Nope, an I don plan te, well not yet." she grinned.
"Aren't we da rebel" I raised my eyebrow and she shrugged"But whudds Kevin gonna do when ye tell im he's yer half brodda?"
"Who said anythin bout telling im? I was thinkin someone could watch im fer a few an saw we're out doin somethin. I ain't tellin im bout our fatha yet. I don think he'll take it well. Besides if oua fatha's a joik, I don want im te meet Kevin."
"Man derres so much te tell Kevin when he gets olda."
"I know, but who's gonna tell im?"
"How bout you." Spot said walking in. "Bailey, I'm sorry bout eilia."
"It's ok. I should be sorry fer blowin up in yer face," I said out loud and added, 'but I'm really not,' in my head and I smiled at the thought.
"Do you mind if I talk te Angel alone?"
"No prob. I'll be out dere if ye need me," I stated this toward Ang but she shook her head.
"Thanks. But I think we'll be ok."she smiled and I walked out.
Two chappys in 2 days... hopefully chapter 16 will be up tomorrow and 17 the next day and so on... REVIEW PLEASE!