Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... or anything like that
All right, due to popular demand, I am continuing this story... also due to the fact that now I want to know what happens.
WARNING: Harry/Draco, gay relationship, don't like it don't read it. Right now just kissing and cuddling, no great sex now.
Harry had straightened up the house and was now cooking lunch. His eyes glanced at the clock briefly and saw that it was almost twelve in the afternoon. Draco had sent word that he would come by around lunch time. After Harry had heard that Draco was still alive, seeing Draco's own handwriting was all the confirmation he needed. He kept expecting to hear the crack of someone apparating or the floo. But a simple knock on the door was the last thing he had expected.
But that's what happened at exactly noon that day. Harry quickly walked to the door and opened it. Draco stood in the door way dressed in black pants, shirt, boots, and a black cloak draped around his shoulders and a hood over his head. He looked up at Harry when the door opened and Harry could see that Draco's hair had grown and was perfectly pulled back in a pony tail. With the sun and snow behind him there was a white glow around him that made him look like a dark angel come to earth. Both stared at each other, uncertain of what to do. Draco pushed back his hood and stepped towards Harry carefully. Harry didn't move. He wanted to grab Draco and kiss him then slap him and scream at him and then tell him he loved him and never wanted him to leave again. Problem was he wasn't sure which to do first.
"Hello Harry," Draco said calmly.
"Hello Draco," Harry replied. He calmly shut the door back. "Can I take your cloak?"
"Uh, sure." Draco undid the clasp on cloak and handed it to Harry. Harry took it from Draco and their fingers brushed for a moment. Draco's fingers were ice cold. Harry's were hot from cooking. Their eyes locked for a moment before Harry turned away to hang Draco's cloak on one of the hooks by the door.
"I've been cooking lunch. I hope you still like my pot roast."
"I've missed it actually. Especially on cold days like this one." Draco followed Harry into the dining room and sat down in his old chair. Harry served up the food on two plates and poured two glasses of brandy for the both of them. He waved his hand and levitated the plates and glasses to their appropriate places on the table. Then he sat down across the small table from Draco. They ate in tense silence and didn't say anything other than to ask to pass the salt or pepper across the table. After they had finished lunch, Harry brought the bottle of brandy into the dinning room and sat it between them. He refilled their glasses and sipped on his nervously.
"How have you been Draco?" he asked trying to sound calm.
"I've been all right," Draco replied. "I've been staying in a cottage in the countryside. I decided to hide out for a while."
"And you didn't tell anybody that you were alive." Draco studied his glass. "I'm sorry... I just..."
"No, the only person who knew that I was alive was my godfather, Professor Snape. In my mind I figured that he was the only one who would care about knowing where I was. You certainly didn't care anymore." Harry flinched.
"Ok, I deserved that one. I thought you were dead for two months."
"But... Harry, they never found my body."
"I know. And it made me wonder if you had apparated before the truck hit... but I was never certain."
"I did. I saw the truck, I realized that I didn't have time so I just apparated away to my cabin. I thought it best to just stay away for a while. I was upset and tired and confused about what to do next."
"I thought you were dead." Harry heard his voice cracking with the tears that were stinging his eyes as he stared at the glass in front of him. "I thought you were dead." His voice had dropped to a whisper now and he shut his eyes tightly. He felt warm fingers close around his hand.
"I'm not dead, Harry. I'm right here in front of you."
"You could have... told... anyone... give me some rumor to hang onto. Something." The gentle fingers around his hand tightened and the thumb gently stroked the back of his hand.
"I didn't... I didn't think you would want to know. With the way we left it... I thought you didn't love me anymore and that you wanted me gone. So then I was gone. I thought... I thought it was what you wanted."
"No!" Harry pulled his hand away from Draco's suddenly and stood up from the table quickly. Draco remained the picture of calm. "I lied! All right? I lied to you! I lied because I wanted everyone out of my life! I lied because you were the one last person who could get to me. Who could get inside of me. You were the last one who knew everything there was to know... the one who would know..."
"Who would know what Harry?" Draco felt a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"The only one... who would know..." Harry's sobs were starting to rack his body and he tried to talk but he felt more tears coming on. He heard Draco get up and felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"What would I know Harry? Please tell me."
"You're the only one... who would know... if I was planning on killing myself. And you would be the only one... who would know... how to stop me." He felt Draco try to pull him closer but he resisted. "No, I have to say all of this, and if you hold me I will just break down and not get through it." He looked up at Draco's face and saw only patience. "I wanted to die. I wanted to be gone. I was cutting out everyone so that they wouldn't care. And I had to cut you out too and make sure that you didn't care about me anymore and then you would go away and have a happy life... but then..."
"The car wreck."
"Yeah, the great flaw to my plan." He shut his eyes as his thoughts streamed out to a person instead of just the walls. "I thought you were dead... and I felt responsible for it. And then I realized... far too late... just how much I love you. And I didn't know... how to fix that mistake. Or that you would want to hear from me... or... that you still loved me at all." He could feel Draco step towards him but Draco didn't pull him closer.
"Look at me, Harry," said Draco softly. He was so close that Harry could feel Draco's breath on his cheek. Harry wouldn't look up. He felt a gentle hand under his chin that lifted his face. "Look at me, Harry," Draco repeated. Harry took in a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Draco's face was one of compassion. Draco gently dried off the tears on Harry's cheeks. "You hurt me badly when you lied to me. I wanted to believe it was a lie, but I just wasn't sure. But I'll let you in on a secret. Someone no one else knows. I spent a lot of time thinking about you and our relationship. I remembered what it used to be like. Even with the way things had become, I still missed you. And that's when I knew that I'm still badly in love with you. I love you, Harry. God help me, I'm in love with you."
"I love you, Draco." Draco was the one who finally leaned in and kissed Harry gently. The kisses became fierce and their arms wrapped tightly around each other. Harry buried his head in Draco's shoulder as he cried. "I love you so much. I loved you when I lied and said I didn't love you. I've loved you for so long I don't... I can't imagine not loving you." When Harry looked up at Draco's face, he saw tears on Draco's cheeks. "Why are you crying?"
"Somewhere deep down I hoped that you were lying. I hoped that you still loved me. Because... I don't know what I would do if you didn't love me." This time Harry was the one who leaned in to kiss the man he loved. He took Draco by the hand and lead him to the couch in the living room by the fire. Harry sat down first. He put one leg on the couch and held open his arms to Draco. The blond smiled, sat down with his legs up on the couch and leaned back into Harry's arms. Harry put one arm around Draco's chest and the other hand gently threaded through Draco's hair.
"So... interesting evening," said Harry casually. Draco smirked at him over his shoulder. The both of them starting laughing and shaking their heads. Draco turned over on his stomach so that his head was lying on Harry's chest.
"Gods, I haven't been here in so long, I almost forgot how it feels," said Draco quietly.
"How what feels?" Harry asked.
"How safe it feels cuddling with you. You've always been one of the few people who can make me feel safe." Harry put his arms around Draco and stared at the fire. He knew things weren't fixed yet. But this was a good start.