Title: Inside My Coffin

Disclaimer: Slash. Suicide. Angst. Language.

POV: Nick

Chapter Three: High and Low

The ceiling returns my glare with its silent white. I've been lying in bed for hours now. My mind tired. I slept for a little while. Long enough to recharge my bodily batteries. I have no desire to sleep anymore. I got out without any graphic nightmares. A glance at my alarm clock pulls me from my bed. Greg will be here soon and I still need to shower. One last glare at the silently laughing ceiling before I roll out of bed.

The water in the shower wakes the muscles in my aching body. It washes the nightmares from my soul; but only for a few hours. They always return. I let the steaming water surround me, draping me in the damp moisture it creates. Eventually it begins to turn my skin a slight lobster red. I shut it off and climb out. The mirror is foggy. In a childish gesture I write my name in the fog with my finger. Then I wipe it away. Like I wish I could wipe my mind clean. I wrap a towel around my waist, tying it in place.

The knock at the door echoes in my ears. Greg is here. I leave the bathroom to answer the door. It's exactly noon. Leave it up to Greg to be right on time. I open the door.

He looks a bit miffed. "What took you so long to answer the door?"

I look down at myself. "I was kind of taking a shower."

"So I see," he replies. His voice sounds a bit strange to me. Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me. He holds up a pizza. "I brought breakfast." His grin is enough to light up the night sky.

Stepping aside, he sweeps into the place. "Just make yourself comfortable. I'll finish getting dressed."

"Alright," he mumbles.

I leave him to whatever task he picks up. He's been here a few times and knows his way around. As I dress I hear him fussing with something in the kitchen. Probably getting the sodas ready. Today will just be another day in a long line of video gaming with Greg. He may have graduated early and at the top of his class but he could still be so childish.

"What the hell are you doing with this, Nick?" He calls.

"Doing with what?" I call back as I pull on my shirt and head for the living room.

I hear him fiddling with something and in another second the house is filled with an Irish jig. I roll my eyes. He needs to turn the sound down or my neighbors will complain and I have no desire to see them. I open the bedroom door. The sight before me causes me to burst out laughing. Greg is doing his best attempt at dancing an Irish jig. Personally, it looks likes he's having a seizure.

He stops at the sound of my laughing, a goofy grin on his face. "Never the kind of music I expected to find in your place."

"My mom sent it to me. She figured it would help me relax."

"Sure," he says in a manner that tells me he doesn't believe me. He turns it off, flops onto the couch, and grabs up a piece of greasy pizza.

"Pizza-eating Irish man by day, serious CSI by night," I joke as I join him on the couch.

"Dude, do you think I should wear a cape with big Celtic knot on it? I could be Knotty Man." His voice is mockingly dramatic.

I start laughing. "Only if you wear green tights and a top hat. You could be Leprechaun Boy."

He frowns. "Leprechauns are small. I'm not short, Nicky. Plus, I'd have to drink beer and that stuff tastes nasty." He sips his soda with a matter-of-fact attitude.

I smile. "Thank you, man. I haven't felt this happy in some time. I really needed this."

A worried look is thrown my way. "Something been troubling you?'

The dark clouds are coming back. I shake my head. "Let's not talk about it. Let's just have some fun. Where's that video game?"

"Nick-"

I throw a glance his way. "Don't you dare ask me if I'm okay. I am so tired of hearing that word."

Greg nods. "Tell me about it. That's all I heard when the lab blew up. Does it make you want to pull your hair out?"

I nod. "Does it ever go away?"

"What?" He takes another slice of pizza.

"The questions?"

"Nick, what you went through, it must have been hell. They're friends and they just want to make sure you're happy. Is that so bad?" He asks.

"No, it's not. Can't they just leave it alone?" I start up the game console.

"Would you rather they ignored you and acted like it never happened?"

"You really want to know?" He nods. "Yes, I do. Every damn time they ask me it just brings the memories back. How can I be okay if they won't let me forget about it?"

He puts his slice of pizza back in the box and wipes his hands on a towel. "You've got a very good point there. Perhaps you should tell them not to ask. But than they'll worry about you more." He frowns. "I really have no idea how to help you on this. I wish I could."

I shrug it off. "It's okay. It's not your problem. Let's just play some Tekken 5 so that I can whip your butt."

"Ha," he snorted. The fire of life returned to his eyes, burning away the seriousness of our conversation.

The hours pass. Slowly, slice by slice, the pizza disappears. The sun draws closer to the horizon and the time for work creeps up on us. We've tied the game, one last match to tell us who is the best. Greg pauses the game just as the match begins. He turns to me, a questioning look in his eyes.

"Has anyone thought to give you time off from work? Like a leave of absence maybe?"

I raise an eyebrow. "No, why?"

A shrug. "Just seems as though it should have been offered."

I scoff. "That means Ecklie would have to talk to me. No thanks. I don't need to deal with him. I'd rather kiss a guy."

Greg's eyes grow big. "You hate him that much?"

I blush slightly. "Doesn't everyone hate Ecklie? He's a slime-ball."

Greg has a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. Suddenly, I feel as though I should distance myself from him. I pick up the cups and mumble something about refills. Work begins in just an hour and twenty minutes. We'll most likely carpool. I pour more soda into the empty cups. Taking my time. Greg sits quietly and patiently until I return. Some thought is working the gears in his head. I can read it in his eyes. I place the now fill glasses on the table. He looks at me. A realization having dawned on him.

"Greg?"

I study him. He draws a bit closer to me. I blink and his lips are touching mine slightly. The surprise causes me to drop the game control on the floor. Greg jumps at the sound. He pulls away. Our eyes meet and we stare at each other. No words are exchanged. What can be said? Boldly, Greg moves in for another attempt. Our lips meet again. To my own surprise I return the kiss. It deepens a little, pulling us over the line. The clock chimes the hour and Greg pulls away slightly.

"How was that?" He asks a little breathless.

I smile softly. "Magically delicious."