Title: Inside My Coffin

Disclaimer: Slash. Suicide. Angst. Language.

Author Note: This may be my last update of this story. Unless you guys like it.

POV: Nick

Chapter Five: Friends & Lovers

I stand outside Greg's apartment. Outside the day is already set in motion. Why am I here staring at a brown door? I lean back against the wall. The plane crash is probably all cleaned up now. There wasn't a single sign of foul play. The engine seems to have malfunctioned. Nothing more. Sure, there are more tests to be done and I'm more than assured that Grissom will not go home to sleep today. That means that he'll be a pain in the ass during tonight's shift. None of that bothers me. It's how my life runs.

What bothers me is Greg. All night he avoided and ignored me. How can he do that? After he kissed me? Maybe the question I should be asking myself is why do I care? It's Greg. Nobody really understands him. I chew my bottom lip as I muse over this, staring at his door. He's not going to answer the door unless I knock. Last time I checked, Greg wasn't psychic. Tentatively, I rap my knuckles on his door. Part of me feels like fleeing before he opens the door. I don't get the chance to think it over for Greg opens the door before I'm even done knocking.

"Nick?" He stands aside to let me in. "I though you were the Chinese food that I ordered."

"Don't you ever cook?" I ask.

"Eh, why cook when someone else can do it for you? Plus, cooking always makes a big mess and I spend all night cleaning up other people's messes," he explains. The logic does make sense. Leave it up to Greg to connect eating habits to work.

I stand in his living room, my eyes not focusing on anything. He closes the door behind me. I feel his eyes on my back. Why am I here? Does finding out what lies in Greg's heart and soul really that important to me? He only kissed me because I made that stupid comment. How was I to know that it would open up feelings inside of me that I never knew were there?

"Nicky?"

I turn back to him. It's now or never. Just do it. "Why did you ignore me all shift?"

He raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You kept yourself as far away from me as possible during shift. Instead of riding with Warrick and me you duck out to ride with Grissom. Never once did you talk to me at the scene or at the lab. I swear, every time you saw me coming you averted your original course. What gives, Sanders?" I say in one breath.

He looks down at the floor. Refusing to answer me. This sets fire to the anger inside me. I go from feeling upset to being angered with him.

"You know what? Forget it. I'll see you at work tonight. Maybe." My voice has a hint of venom in it.

I go to step around him when he grabs onto my arm. "You want an explanation?" His brown eyes fix on mine. "I don't have one. All I know is that I kissed you yesterday. Doesn't that seem the slightest bit weird to you? We're not supposed to be kissing each other. You should be chasing after Sara, not me." I don't suppress the shock of him mentioning Sara. She's only interested in Grissom.

"Greg-"

"I shouldn't want to do this but I do." He pulls me to him by snagging the waist of my jeans.

Our lips meet again. I was not aware what deep fiery passion the touch of lips, the delving of tongues, could bring. All the feelings inside me build and grow. I feel an aching deep in the pit of my stomach. An aching for him. The kiss of yesterday was a mere appetizer. I want the main course and than some. Our lips part briefly. The sound of Greg being short of breath turns me on even more. This shouldn't be. Maybe he's right. I should be chasing after Sara. I want Greg and only Greg. There is no fooling myself. He appears to draw the same conclusion as our lips find each other for yet another passionate kiss.

Who knows how we get to the bedroom. Love carried us here on a cloud. I don't really care. All I know is that I'm feeling all hot and bothered. The bed is pressing against the back of my legs. I came here to seek the answer to a question. Now I'm getting a little afternoon delight. With quick and skilled hands we're both naked in a matter of minutes. Our hands freely explore each others bodies. We tumble onto the bed wrapped up in one another.

I lay on my bare stomach in Greg's bed. He has half his upper body draped across my back. Both of us are sweaty and coming down from our high. He kisses my back sending a shiver down my spine. The room is filled with the silence of contemplation. I glance toward his alarm clock. Another hour and half before work starts. Every muscle in my body tenses up.

"Something wrong, Nicky?" Greg asks softly. It seems like a crime to break the silence.

"We have to leave for work eventually," I mutter.

"So?" He sounds like his old frat-boy self.

"Don't you understand, Greg?" I shift my position so that I'm lying on my back. Greg makes himself comfortable by resting on me again.

"Understand what?" He asks acting all innocent. His fingers trace along my stomach. "You have such great abs."

"Don't get sidetracked," I say. "We crossed the line between friends and lovers today. You see absolutely no problem with that?"

His eyes lock on mine. "Should I?"

His fingers continue their gentle pattern. I feel myself getting aroused. It's hard to keep my mind on the seriousness of the conversation. "Stop it, Sanders."

"Stop what?" A mischievous look flashes across his face.

"Stop that," I moan as his hand travels a little farther down. "Greg, we have to get ready for work." It's amazing the amount of pleasure one hand can create.

"I know," Greg replies. "But we still have over an hour to waste…"

I part from Greg a half hour before shift is to start. Hopefully that's more than enough time for me to get home, shower, and change. I haven't slept at all today. Will anyone notice at work? I take care of all the necessities at my house and finish with ten minutes to get to work. I'm going to end up being late. Perhaps Grissom will be too tired to notice. Luck is on my side. The light traffic gets me to work a minute after shift starts. No one comes to yell at me for being late. In fact, the place is oddly quiet.

I head for the abandoned locker room. With a chill I imagine tumbleweed dancing across the benches. The lab is too quiet for my comfort. I open my steel closet to fish out a few work supplies. The extra pair of clothes inside questions me. Will I need them tonight? I close the door with a silent click. I flop on the bench, the events of the day rushing back to me. All I wanted was an answer. In a way, I guess I got it.

Warrick walks through the door. "Evening, Nicky, how are you?"

"Better than I have been, I think," I mutter.

He looks me up and down. Then he chuckles. "Nicky, boy, you been holding out on me. I thought you were tired because you weren't sleeping well. Tell me, who's the girl?"

I look up at him completely puzzled by what he says. ""What?"

"You got that look. You've spent the day with someone. Come on, tell me who." He sits beside me on the bench, eagerly awaiting all the details. I feel like a high school student all over again.

"I-"

Before I can say anything the door opens again and in walks Greg. Warrick greets him with a big smile. "Get good news or something, Warrick? You look like the cat that ate the canary."

I smile at Greg. He smiles back and sends a little wave my way. Of course, he wants to make Warrick think we haven't seen each other since last night. There are many things for the two of us to talk about. And the lab is not the place to do it. Especially not in front of Warrick.

"Our buddy got himself laid today. I can tell. He won't tell me who the chick is though," Warrick explains.

"Is that so? Why you holding out, Nicky?" Greg goes along.

I sigh. Warrick won't let me alone unless I tell him. But I refuse to tell him about Greg. I can read the fear all over Greg's face. He doesn't want to be ousted yet either. "It's no one you know, Brown, so forget about it."

He shakes his head and bends down to put on the boots he wears for work. Greg winks at me before vanishing through the door. How much longer can we go one deceiving people that are supposed to be our friends? And when will it finally hit the fan?