Proper Goodbye

I am destruction. Absolute. Alone. It's over. It's really over. It's funny; I thought I'd be happier. But there's just an empty gaping hole in my heart, I know something is missing, or more exact someone. What was it Angel said? Oh yeah. Sometimes is something. Is there anything in this life but grief? Why do we have to feel like this? Where do we go from here? Why is the path unclear, when we know home…. Is gone? When does the end truly appear?

We changed the world. It's been Seven Years. Seven hard years. This is the end of an empire. The end of MY empire. That I don't entirely understand. It hurts.

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I'm willing it's gonna be one hell of an adventure when I find out!

(End Buffy's POV)

"Buffy? What are we gonna do now?" Dawn said, looking at Buffy. Buffy pondered the question she had thought so often, what were they going to do now? A smile crept upon her lips in the warm sunshine as she gazed where her home had been. The Crater.

"Cookie Dough," Buffy whispered into the wind. "I guess… we're gonna do whatever we want now. But first we're gonna stop by Los Angeles. Umm, we need to get the girls fixed up, somewhere discreet, like Angel's hotel? I think there's gonna be enough room for all of us. Plus, lots of bathrooms." said Buffy.

Xander laughed, " Imagine the look on the LA gang's faces when we bring loads of potentials-turned-to-full-fledged-slayers. That's a definite Kodak moment!" Everyone laughed at Xander as they walked to the bus, chattering, slowly climbing on. All except Buffy and Giles, who stayed staring into the crater.

"I guess this is it," Buffy quietly announced as she looked at Giles.

Giles nodded and squeezed her arm in comfort, "I'm sorry about Spike. He was… He is a good man, I just didn't realize that, until now."

Buffy nodded, "Thank You." Giles gave her a sad smile and pulled out a white envelope and handed it to Buffy, he then turned away and walked back to the bus, sparing one more glance at Buffy before getting in the driver's seat.

Buffy gazed at him with daughterly love, then turned back to the crater, and walked to the very edge of it. She sat on the edge, her feet dangling over the ruins of Sunnydale. She looked at the envelope, it had her name on it, in spirally letters… in Spike's handwriting.

How long had it been since she really given a proper goodbye? All she felt like was gave up loves, friendships, relationships and saying goodbyes. When she buried the bodies. She gazed at her home, her everything. All she had left was the Scythe, the letter, and the clothes on her body. Her material possessions were gone.

She put her hand into her jeans pocket and pulled out something hard and cold. She still had that. It glistened in the sunlight. It was all she had left of Spike, his Zippo lighter. A little part of him. He had gave it to her before she prepared the Scoobies with the knowledge of her plan. She had the letter as well, the letter, which she held tightly in her hand.

Upcoming Chapter: The Letter