Chapter Five- Too Far

It had been a month since Meg's first day of kindergarten and she was settling into it rather nicely. She loved school and she made lot of friends. The only problem was that her daddy was still living in the penthouse. Jason was no closer to finding out where the threats were coming from. Courtney tried to convince him that it was a one time thing, and that they were safe again. But Jason wasn't so sure. He had a feeling that whoever it is was just biding their time, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And unfortunately, Jason was right.

Jason was tired when he woke up that day. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. He was getting used to sleeping without Courtney, but it didn't make it much more bearable. But that night, he had been up, thinking about her and everything. She had been trying to convince him that it was time for him to move back home. She had been trying for a while, but yesterday was the worst. She had broken down crying, literally begging for him to move back in. His heart had broken when he saw her like that, and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tight. As he tried to fall asleep that night, all he could hear in his head were his wife's tears. All that echoed in his mind was the sight of her crumbling and begging. Jason was almost ready to give in to her. Within the whole month, nothing had gone wrong. Jason wasn't sure if they really would attack them again.

He went to the kitchen and started the coffee pot, inhaling the aroma of the coffee as it began to brew. He needed the caffeine, badly. Once enough was in the pot, he pulled it off and poured himself a cup before putting the pot back and watching it finish filling up. Still in his pajamas, he went to the penthouse door and opened it up. Sitting in front of the door was his usual morning paper. He picked it up and put it on the table. Setting the coffee cup down, he opened it up and a piece of paper fell out. Frowning, Jason picked it up and unfolded it, paling at what he read. It simply said: "Don't think for a second that anyone's safe".

Jumping up, Jason grabbed the phone and quickly dialed the house.

"Damn it, pick up Courtney" he mumbled when the phone continued to ring.

Finally, she picked it up and gave him a groggy hello.

"Jase? What time is it?" she asked.

"Are you ok?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"How 'bout Meg?"

"She's fine, she's asleep"

"Are you sure? Can you go check?"

"Jase, what's this about?" asked Courtney fearfully.

"Just check Courtney, please check"

"Hold on" he heard her say as the phone clicked.

He impatiently waited, his hands actually shaking from fear.

"Jase, she's fine" said Courtney as she came back on the line.

'Thank god" he said, closing his eyes in relief. "Make sure the alarm's on and all the doors and windows are locked. I'm going to be right over. Don't answer the door for anyone but me"

"Alright, whatever you say" she said, and he could tell that she sounded scared.

"I love you" he said in a thick voice.

"I love you too" she said softly before they hung up.

The second Jason hit the last step leading up the door, it was flung open and Courtney was there, a worried look on her face. Jason immediately enveloped her in a huge hug, holding her closely to him.

"What happened?" she asked when they pulled away and walked into the kitchen.

"I found this in my morning paper" he said passing her the note.

She read it, her face expressionless. She finally looked up and burst out laughing. But it wasn't her usual laugh. It was a bitter, angry laugh.

"God, I knew that this was going to happen. So naturally, this letter means you need to stay farther away from us, and keep living in the penthouse"

"Courtney, what do you want from me?" he asked defensively. "It's not as though I like living alone"

"I don't even care about the stupid living arrangements anymore" she snapped.

"Ouch" he said, a hurt look on his face as he literally cringed away from her.

"The stupid living arrangements are the least of my worries" she said, continuing as though she didn't see the look on his face. "I am so sick of this"

"Of what?" he asked.

"I am so sick of the business. I am so sick of the danger, and the constant need for guards. I am so sick of all the other mothers on the PTA whispering about how I'm the mob princess, and our daughter is too! I'm sick of answering Meg's questions about when you're going to be home, or why she needs to have 'Uncle Max' with her everywhere she goes" she yelled.

"Come on Courtney! You know that I try my hardest not to let it come down to something like this. You know that I am doing everything in my power to protect you and Meg!"
"You know what Jason? I'm not just sick of all that, I'm sick of this. I'm sick of fighting over the same stupid things"

"So what, argument dropped, conversation ended. You got to tell me what you really think of everything, and then anything that I say is insignificant?"

"I didn't say that! Why are you putting words in my mouth?" she yelled.

"I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm telling the truth! You're denying it! You wanna go back to your world of denial and disbelief, because that's where you're most comfortable. You want to believe that nothing is happening, and if anything is happening, it's all my fault!"
"You have no idea what I want! But don't worry, I'm not in denial! I know just how dangerous your world is, believe me!"

"Do you love me?" he asked her, his voice suddenly soft.

"What?" she asked, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Do you love me?" he asked again.

"What, am I supposed to break out into a song from Fiddler on the Roof now?" she asked bitterly.

"Just answer the question"

"Fine" she said uncrossing her arms and throwing them up in the air. "Of course I love you!"

"Do you really love me? All of me?" he asked in the same soft tone.

"Yes to both. I love all of you" she said softly.

"You must not. You must hate me. 'Cause you hate the business, and like it or not, the business is a part of me. So that's it, right, you hate me?" he asked her, knowing that he was getting a rise out of her, but not really caring.
"God! You are so frustrating!" she yelled letting out a growl. "You're right, I hate the business. And I hate that you put me in such a difficult position all the time! And I hate that you are so desperate to get out of here guilt free that you are trying to turn my words on me!"

"Oh, I'm trying to get out guilt free?" he asked, raising his voice again. "I'm not the one who decided to walk away! Remember that? Remember Brian! And for someone who hates the business, you certainly get yourself pretty involved in it! Hey, remember the time you knocked me out?"

"I can not believe that you are bringing that up! We got past that! We moved on!"

"You are such a hypocrite Courtney! You claimed you were trying to protect me that day, yet here we are, me trying to protect you, and I'm being a bad husband!"

"I never said that!" she yelled.

"You know what? I don't care what you think anymore. I don't care what you're sick of. Because I am going to protect my daughter! If you won't do it, I will! If you're too concerned with everything else to give a shit about her safety, that's fine! Go back to your foundation meetings and your lunches with Carly. But there is no way in hell that you are going to sacrifice my daughter's safety! I won't let you!"

Courtney hardly knew what she was doing as she reached up and slapped him, hard. He stood there, stunned, as he watched the tears spill down her cheeks.

"Don't you ever accuse me of not caring about our daughter or her safety ever again! God Jason, you can be such an asshole sometimes! Bringing up the past and all my mistakes! What, you wanna start talking about how I'm some cheap piece of trash that you picked up at a strip club! Hmm, you wanna talk about how I used to take off my clothes for money and you had to play hero. Will that help you to show me that I'm not a fit mother!" she yelled, her whole body shaking and sobbing.

"No, no Courtney, I would never say that" he said softly, shaking himself. "I would never ever say that. You are not a piece of trash, and you're an amazing mother. Look, I'm sorry for what I said, I am. I was angry. Please, Courtney, come on" he said, the tears running down his face now too as he tried to touch her, but she pulled from his grasp.

"Yeah, well I don't give a shit how sorry you are! I'm just glad that you don't live here anymore! Because one of these day's you're going to get me and Meg killed! I don't wanna subject my daughter to that! I don't want her to lose her life because her daddy goes around killing people for a living!" she yelled so loud that the house was shaking.

"Courtney, come on! Why are you doing this? How did this get so blown out of proportion?" he asked as his tears continued to fall.

"Get out!" she yelled, pointing towards the area of the door.

"Courtney, come on. Let's talk about this" he begged.

"GET OUT!" she yelled again, this time louder.

"Please, Courtney, I love you" he begged again.

"OUT!"

"Courtney, please" he begged.

She literally pushed him out of the kitchen and he came face to face with Meg, sitting on the stairs.

"Daddy, why are you and mommy yelling?" she asked in a scared voice, her thumb in her mouth. "Why are you saying mean things to each other?"

"Sweetie, Mommy and Daddy just have some problems that they need to work out" explained Courtney, not letting Jason answer as she came out of the kitchen, trying to keep her voice calm for Meg's sake.

"But the problems don't matter. Because we love each other" said Jason in a choked voice.

"I think it's best if you go" said Courtney calmly as she got up and opened the door.

"Court, come on"

"Jason, I will tell you what I really think of you right now in front of Meg if you don't get out of here" she said through clenched teeth.

Knowing he was trapped, he slowly got up from where he was kneeled next to Meg and walked out the door, pausing in the doorway. Courtney and Jason looked into each other's eyes, ignoring the hurt look they both saw.

"I love you, and I'm sorry. I'm going to fix this between us Courtney, I am" he told her determinedly.

Courtney didn't say anything, but rather shut the door with him still in the frame, so the heavy door pushed him out.

Jason stared at the closed door for a moment before starting to sob. What had he done? Had he pushed her too far?