The Letter

Buffy sighed and played with the lighter in her hand, too scared to read the letter just yet. There was a light, cool breeze, causing her hair to flutter round her face. Closing her eyes she sighed, her mind going back to when Spike gave her the lighter.

"Here. Keep this, at least till the battle's over." Spike said, handing her the lighter. His hand lingered on Buffy's for a beat longer than necessary.

Pushing the lighter back and she shook her head, "But you're not gonna die."

Spike growled lowly, and pushed it back, "Take it. I know I'm not gonna die. But I want you to have a part of me with you, during the battle. Please. Take it, it's the only way I know to keep you and me alive." Spike hoped she didn't realize he was lying.

Buffy nodded and took it, pocketed it in her jeans. "Okay… I'm gonna go tell them the plan." She turned and started to go upstairs, when she abruptly turned back and ran to him, taking his hands into her own. She kissed him passionately, with heat and desire, equivalent to his own. Their tongues met and danced a little.

"I can't do this. I can't, Spike." She whispered, clutching at his shoulders, both of their bodies leaning on the other for support. Their noses met and rubbed together.

Tears ran down her cheek as he spoke softly and encouragingly, "Pet… Yes you can do this." He ran his hand through her soft, silky locks, all the while his other hand wiped the tears from her face and caressed her cheeks. "You can do this. You can do this because I believe in you."

Buffy nodded and kissed his lips lightly, "I love you. God, I love you so much."

"I love you too, pet. I have all the faith in the world, in you. You'll never be able to fail me. Ever. Trust me on that, Buffy. I love you so much. You're my soul, my love, and my life. My own. You're the reason I'm here, the reason I made it this far. I'd never be here if you hadn't come back. God brought you back for a reason. Me. He brought my beautiful, sweet, kind, gorgeous angel back to me, I love you and I know you love me in return. Got all that in mind, Goldilocks?" Spike spoke softly.

She nodded and smiled, gently hugging him, taking in his scent of cigarettes, booze, tears, sex, and herself-- vanilla. She kissed him passionately once more, sighing she broke the hug and went upstairs, however her gaze never left Spike's, until the wall blocked her view.

When Spike knew she was definitely out of earshot… "Bloody Hell. I'm gonna really miss that girl. My soul, my love, and my life." He sat down on the makeshift bed they had made slow, sweet, passionate, heated and caressing love on, before they finally slept, spent in each other's arms. He sat down, and began to write on the piece of paper in front of him…

Tears ran down her cheek as she held the only things she had left of him. She sniffled and wiped away her tears, imagining that it was Spike wiping her tears away. She imagined that he was still there, sitting next to her. Comforting her. Soothing her with his beautiful loving words. She sniffled again, opening the envelope and read it slowly. Making sure not to miss a word. It smelled of him. Cigarettes, tears, booze, sex and there was an hint of vanilla, he must have wrote it after she went upstairs.

My Dearest Buffy,

If you're reading this… I reckon I'm dead. I've known for a while that I was gonna die, in the Hellmouth, saving the world. Goldilocks, I love you very much. More than life itself, more than myself, more than anything in this world that I will ever love. When you gave me the trinket, after we made love, I dreamed how I was gonna die. Then I woke up, and saw you, sleeping peacefully next to me. And… I knew. You were gonna be okay, no matter what is thrown at you. I knew you'd go on to live, with or without me. And I saw that you loved me, and told me. I know that you'll tell me that you love me. Funny thing is… the girl, Cassie, think that was her name, she said-'She'll tell you, Someday she'll tell you'. At first I thought she was crazier than I was. But I dreamt it. And I knew then exactly what she was talking about. I know you do love me. Whatever I say isn't true. I'm just trying to get you to live I don't want you to die with me. I don't mean what I say. Except one thing. I do wanna see how it ends. I had to tell you this to make you leave and live. If I didn't, we both would have died, and I can't allow that, pet. I love you too much to let you die. Again.

Besides, you've got a promise to Dawn, to show her the world. And you'll do just that. And I'll see you in Rome. You might not understand now, but later, you will.

I saw you. Walking in the sunshine, and you were happier than I've ever seen, then… I saw me. By your side. Making you laugh in the streets of Rome. That will happen I know it will. It's just not now. I will be with you. Forever. I promise you that. No matter what, I love you. Not even death can change that. I promise.

Do me a favor, love. Tell the poof, sorry Angel, that I'll be seeing him. He'll understand.

I love you so much. Truly. Even though I may have went out in flames, I'll be back, you can't keep me down. Trust me on this. I love you.

Tell Dawn… I'm sorry and that I'll love her. And tell Giles that… I forgive him. And I understand why he did it. Let's see if I'm forgetting anything else. Oh yeah, tell Red and the whelp not to worry about their loved ones that they lost. Because… they will be with them again, sooner or later. And no pet… they're not gonna die. Oh and don't forget to frighten the new slayers by telling them how big and bad I was back then, till I met you. Till I loved you. That's it for everyone else. Now, onto you.

Goldilocks… I don't know how to say this, but… I'm gonna try to. I saw you, at the Bronze, years ago. You were beautiful luv, dancing away. You were so vibrant, so full of life, and I wanted it. I wanted so badly to be your life, your life to be mine. I saw you. And I fell. Hard. Didn't realize it back then but… I do now. I've loved you ever since I first saw you. Then, pure luck. I had the chance to be good. To fight on your side. And I took it. Even though it was Chips Ahoy in my head, I was still a bit of evil back then. But that all went away, when I talked with Joyce, over a cuppa o'hot chocolate, with those little marshmallows in them. You didn't realize it back then, but I spent a hell of a lot of time in that kitchen with your mother. Talking about art, poetry, and most of all you. The poet in me was suppressed for so long, then your mom brought it out in me. I knew then… the poet in me refused to die. Cause I was in love, madly, truly, head over heels, his and hers towels in love with you. Good times. I loved your mother, and I swore to her silently, when she died, that I'd love you and Dawn just like that.

I guess… what I'm trying to tell you, Buffy… is, thank you for letting me have the chance to love you and be crazy over you. Thank you for bringing out the poet in me. You go and be happy, pet. Even when you go see Peaches. Make sure he doesn't get too happy though, or I'll come back and kick both of youse asses. Love you, Pet. Now and Always.

Yours Truly…

William

Tears were streaming out of her eyes as she read the letter, she was laughing at the funny things he'd wrote, and nodded when he asked her to do something for him. The letter showed Spike's essence. She sighed deeply and sadly as she closed the letter and put it away.

She toyed with the lighter, the flames flickering on and off, before she put it away. She stood, looked at the crater and blew a kiss to it. A kiss meant for her William, her Spike, her everything.

She whispered lightly, "Goodbye William, I'll never forget you. I'm going to hold you to your promise of coming back." She heaved a heavy sigh before turning and began the seeming long walk back to the bus. Grabbed the scythe and stepped on, the bus doors closed a heavy and dull thud.

Buffy gazed at her friends, her compadres, and her newly called slayers. They gazed back, lovingly at her, wondering what was it they were expected to do next.

"Hope lives on. As long as we are on this earth, Hope lives with us. There will be no fear, because there is nothing to fear. Unless you're evil and against an army… A Legion of Slayers. You won't be alone. You will have other slayers to help you, to teach and learn from. You'll be able to go to prom, and dance the night away. You can do normal girl things, things I, and countless slayers before could never do. You can even be normal if you want. Or be a Slayer. Make your choice. Slayers… Every one of us. As I said…" As Buffy spoke she sighed heavily, "Hope lives on."

Smiling, she told them to rest. Some of them went to sleep, dreaming of their new powers and futures. Some chattered on, still energetic from the fight. Buffy sat in the chair next to Giles'. She nodded at him as he started the bus. They drove away. They drove away from their homes, destroyed for the greater good.

To others driving on the roads, it was just a bus driving nowhere, from a God-Knows-Where town. But to them… It was a bus driving to who knows where, with the world's newly called strongest girls on board. Some sleeping and some chattering. A bus leaving the Hellmouth with an army of slayers. And the Strongest of them all, the one who made it all happen, resting quietly. Coming from the destroyed Hellmouth, on a bus driving nowhere.

Upcoming Chapter: Fire and Ice