Chapter 6- The Beginning of the End?

"Hey, can you come over? I need to talk to you" said Courtney as soon as Carly answered her phone.

"Ah, yeah, I'll be right there. Is everything ok?" asked Carly as she started to leave Kelly's and head to Courtney's house.

"No, not really. I just really need to talk to you"

"Alright, I'm heading over right now. Just tell me, is Meg ok? Is Jason hurt?"

"No, everyone's fine. Physically at least" said Courtney.

"I messed up" said Jason as he barged into Sonny's living room and immediately poured himself a drink.

"What happened?" asked Sonny, surprised to see Jason drinking hard alcohol, and so early in the day.

"Courtney and I got into a huge fight" said Jason in a pained voice as he sat down on the couch. "And I think I may have pushed her too far this time"

Sonny sighed and sat down on the couch next to Jason.

"I know that being apart like you two are is putting a strain on your marriage" said Sonny calmly.

"A strain?" asked Jason in disbelief. "That's putting it mildly"

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think" offered Sonny.

"You weren't there. You didn't hear the things I said to her. The things she said back to me. We criticized each others parenting skills, and then I threw the past in her face. Her problems with Brian. And I didn't say it, but I made her think back to the days that she had to strip to save AJ. I acted like the world's worst husband. And Meg heard everything. Sonny, it was terrible. She kicked me out and slammed the door on my face" said Jason as he took a swig of his drink before burying his face in his hands.

Sonny gave him a sympathetic back pat.

"You were both angry Jason. I'm sure she'll forgive you after she cools off a little. She loves you Jason. You two have had your ups and downs, but you've always had your love" said Sonny.

"What happened?" asked Carly as she walked into Courtney's house. "What's with all the extra guards?" she said as she glanced out the window at one of the many guards that were hidden on the property.

"Jason got a letter threatening me and Meg today" said Courtney as she led Carly into the kitchen.

"Where is Meg?" asked Carly.

"I sent her upstairs to play. She's heard enough today"

"What do you mean?" asked Carly.

"Jason and I got into a huge fight this morning. He came over because he was worried about us, and I just lost it on him. I'm just so sick of the danger, you know?"
"Yeah, of course I know" said Carly. "I deal with the same thing. And Sonny and I have our fair share of fights about it"

"Bet you never fought like this. We both thought of the worst and most hurtful things we could say to each other and then let them out. And all that time, Meg was sitting on the stairs, listening" said Courtney.

"I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. What exactly did you say to each other?"

"Sonny, she looked so hurt when I said those things, and when she pushed me out the door. And she's been so frustrated with me lately. She gets on the phone and she begs me to come home, and I brush her off. She's starting to doubt everything. She's starting to doubt us. And I can't say I blame her. We're moving in the wrong direction Sonny. Things are just going from bad to worse"

"What are you going to do?" asked Sonny.
"I dunno" answered Jason. "Get down on my knees and beg I guess" he grumbled. "I'll do anything to show her how sorry I am"
"So, go get her" said Sonny as he pulled Jason up and then pushed him towards the door.

"What about letting her cool off?" asked Jason.

"Show her that nothing she can do will push you away. Show her that you're going to fight for your family" said Sonny.

"Alright, so, you both said some pretty crappy things. It doesn't mean anything" said Carly.

"Yes, it does. Because every word that I said was truthful. I meant it all. I am so sick of the business, and the danger, and Jason being convinced that everything he does is to protect me. I want him to be my lover, my husband, and the father to my daughter. I don't want him to just be another guard"

"Courtney…"

"Carly, I think our relationship's been pushed past the point of no return. I know what I have to do" said Courtney quietly.

Jason knocked on Courtney's door an hour later, flowers in hand.

"Flowers are supposed to say I'm sorry, but I'll say it too. I am so sorry, and I wish I could take back everything I said" he said as soon as she opened the door.

"I'm glad you're here" she said softly. "Come in"

Jason was surprised that she was so receptive and calm, but he followed her into the living room.

"Should I put these in a vase?" he asked as he held up the flowers.

Courtney silently took the bouquet from him and put it down on the coffee table as she and Jason sat on opposite sides of the sofa.

"What's wrong?" he asked her. "Where's Meg?"

"She's out with Carly" answered Courtney in a sad, far away monotone voice.

"Courtney, what's wrong? Are you ok?" he asked her in a worried tone.

He tried to move closer to her, but she pulled back and continued to stare at him through dead, emotionless eyes.

"Jason, people say the things they truly feel when they're angry and fighting. The truth comes out. And let's face it; we both admitted our feelings about everything to each other today"

"No, Courtney, I didn't mean any of those terrible things I said to you today" he maintained."

"Yes you did Jason, and it's ok. You can't accuse someone of having the wrong feelings. We can't control other people's thoughts. And I can't control yours. But Jason, our thoughts used to have synchronicity. We used to be a unified front, a happy pair. A team in life. But lately, we don't even know each other. We don't even live on the same side of town"

"It's not as though we want it that way" said Jason. "It's for safety reasons"

"And it doesn't bother you that it's not safe enough for you to even share a bed with your wife?" she asked in a soft but pained voice.

"Yeah, it bothers me. But we're dealing with it. And we'll continue to deal with it. We just need to get past this. We need to get through it. And we're strong enough to Courtney. We are"

"Do you really believe that?" she asked as she got up off the couch and walked over to the window, her back to him as she stared out. "Jason, we're not dealing with anything together lately. We're just drifting apart" she said as she turned around again to face him.

"No. No, I don't believe that for a second" he told her. "We're us. We're Jason and Courtney, two people who will always love each other"

"I'm not doubting the love. I'm doubting the compatibility. We've both changed since we first got together. We're been through hell and back together. But I think, no I know, we may be cracking. Maybe we aren't strong enough Jason"

"NO! That's not true!" he cried as he ran to her and took her hands in his.

"Jason, I don't think this is working anymore. I don't think our marriage is working anymore"

"What, you just want to get divorced, just like that?" he asked in disbelief, his eyes tearing.
"No, I don't want to divorce you Jason" she said quietly as she looked down at the ground. "But I think we should give a separation a try" she said as she looked back up at him.

He dropped her hands and backed away from her slowly in horror.

"No, Courtney, you're kidding me, right? I love you! I wanna be with you! You're my wife! We have a daughter together! We're happy!" he cried.

"Not anymore Jason" she said, her tears coming down slowly and softly as well. "We're always fighting and crying around each other. It shouldn't be so painful"

"So, we're hitting a rough spot. We can't just give up and head for the hills every time things get a little harder"

"Jason, things aren't a little harder. They're too hard. It's too hard to get past"

"I won't do it" he said stubbornly.

"Jason, we already live separately anyway. Now, we're just going to be legally taking a break. It's not the worst thing in the world"

"YES! YES IT IS!" he yelled. "I LOVE YOU! AND I WANT OUR MARRIAGE TO WORK" he yelled. "Please Courtney, give us a chance"

"Jason, I've given us plenty of chances. I can't take it anymore. I'm tired of it all! I am just so tired of dealing with everything. Please, don't fight this"

"My wife, and the only woman I will ever love wants to walk away from me and she's asking me not to fight it" he said in disbelief. "Did you even think about Meg?"

"Of course I did" she said, crossing her arms over her chest as she glared at him. "I'm doing what's best for her too"

"What's best for her is having two parents, happy and in love"

"You're right Jason, that is what's best for her. But we seem to be lacking in the happy department lately. She deserves to see her parents happy, and not miserable"

"How do you expect me to not be miserable without you? What, you expect that once we're separated, we'll be all smiles and laughs. Cause I see it all the other way!"

"Jason, our marriage isn't healthy anymore. Our relationship has been squashed"

"So we can rebuild. That's what we'll do! We'll just fix it"

"We can't Jason" she said as her tears fell harder. We can't fix it anymore. It's beyond repair. I am so sorry. Really, I am. But this is best for us. We need to give it a try. We need to" she said.

"NO, I can't. I'll die without you Courtney" he begged. "I can't live without you"

"Well, you're going to have to give it a try" she said in a voice barely above a whisper as her sobs became closer together. "My lawyer will send you the papers. Lock up before you leave" she said in the same voice as she grabbed her coat and purse.

"NO! COURTNEY! I WON'T LET YOU GO! I WON'T!" he protested, grabbing onto her, dropping to his knees and holding her legs. "I love you, and I love our family. And I am not going to just let you walk out on us. On me"

"Jason, please, let go of me" she said as she sobbed right along with him as she pried him off of her legs.

Running from the house, Courtney jumped into her car and sped off, leaving Jason to watch her and break down in the doorframe of the house that they once called theirs.

Courtney made it to the park before she couldn't drive anymore. Getting out, she lied back against a tree and let out all of her heart wrenching tears. She didn't want to break his heart like that, but it was necessary. They couldn't keep up this painful dance that they were doing. All the sudden, Courtney saw a hand reach out to her to comfort her. Looking up, she was shocked to see who it was.