(Pottergal slowly but surely pokes her head out of the grave she's been wallowing in these past… um… how many months has it been?) Hi everyone! Please oh please don't kill me for taking so long to update- between summer session and moving into a new apartment, my life has just been one upheaval after another.

Now, before we get started, a quick, but HUGE thank you to all my reviewers. You're all wonderful and I'm glad you're enjoying this story!

Okay, dumb disclaimer that says I own nothing, I stake no claim, blah. Enjoy the story now, kay?

To Cross the Rubicon
By: pottergal

Chapter Fourteen: Dratted Issues of the Heart

Cindy cracked open an eye, wondering why she felt so sick to her stomach and why her head was pounding so badly. She pushed herself up onto her elbows with a loud groan; it even hurt to move. Where was she, anyway? Had she passed out in class?

Wait... Had she even gone to class? And what time was it anyway?

"Cindy?"

She slowly turned her head in the direction of the voice and frowned in confusion when she found Jimmy watching her apprehensively. It was then she realized she was in his lab, lying on a small couch that sat at the back of the main room. How she'd gotten there was a mystery, as well as why she was there in the first place.

"How're you feeling? Did the antidote work?" he asked, his tone concerned, and she turned back to him, a look of disbelief present on her face.

"How I feel isn't important right now, Neutron," she snapped and watched relief wash over his features. "What antidote are you talking about? And what am I doing in your lab? Did one of your crackpot experiments make me sick?"

"No, actually, it was someone else who…" he trailed off, his smile fading into a frown. "Wait, you mean you don't remember today?"

"Well…" she began, straining as she tried to recall things, but all she kept coming up with were fuzzy images and random flashes of a petrified Jimmy. "Not really, no. The last clear memory I have is of getting off the bus."

"Oh," he said, making Cindy blink. Had her ears just deceived her into hearing a note of disappointment in his voice?

"Should I remember today?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow, and he winced slightly. Once again his reaction wasn't at all what she'd been expecting; an angry retort, perhaps, but not a grimace.

"All right, Neutron, spill. What happened to me? And what am I doing in your lab?"

"Well... maybe it's for the best that you don't remember," he said and she fixed him with her best glare.

"I'm bound to find out anyway," she reasoned. "And if it had anything to do with you, so help me, I'll kick your butt so badly that your children's children will be black and blue. That is, of course, assuming you'll even have kids…"

He sighed, not bothering to fight the glint of steel to her voice, and looked away. "Fine," he muttered. "But before I say anything, remember that I warned you."

"Just tell me already!" she exclaimed impatiently, crossing her arms over her chest with a faint huff. "The longer you stall, the angrier I get!"

"All right, all right!" he said, shooting her with an annoyed glare. "You spent the entire day chasing after me, trying desperately to crush me to death with one of your hugs, and to top it all off, you've been proclaiming your everlasting love for me like some horrible skipping CD. You're currently in my lab because I was given an antidote to reverse the chemical that sent you into that state in the first place."

Cindy stared at him, not quite daring to believe what she'd just heard, before bursting into hysterical laughter. She'd been… chasing him? Like something out of those old cartoons, with that French skunk and the cat? He had to be joking…

"That's a good one, Neutron! Who knew you had a sense of humor!" she managed between several giggles, and caught the annoyed frown he'd fixed upon her.

"I'm not kidding, Cindy," he said dully, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms over his chest. "So laugh all you want; it's not going to change anything."

The note of steel to his voice, coupled with the lack of any annoyance or humor in sharing a joke, made her amusement falter and quickly fade. She watched him for a moment, noting the unfamiliar stony glint to his eyes and the way his lips had compressed themselves into a thin line.

"You're actually serious," she breathed and he gave her a look.

"Unfortunately," he responded glumly, and she snorted before rolling her eyes.

"It's still the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard, Neutron," she said, her impatience returning full force. "Never in a million years would I remotely want to touch you, let alone hug you. And don't even start with the…"

Don't forget... okay?

Cindy froze mid-sentence as a vague memory popped into her mind. It sounded dimly like her voice, yet it couldn't be! She never pleaded for anything, and there was no way she would ever sound that weak…

Don't forget that I... I love you...

"Oh no…" she mouthed, finding it difficult to work her voice at the moment. A strange sinking feeling filled her as the memory came back, from her final proclamation to the impromptu kiss she had bestowed upon him. Her eyes widened in shock and she swallowed around the sudden tightness in her throat, butterflies beating against her ribcage. She watched as Jimmy frowned at her sudden silence, faint traces of concern shining in his cerulean eyes.

No, no, no!

"Um, Cindy?" he asked, disquiet leaking into his tone, and she figured he was either unable to lip read or just ignoring her words.

He knows...

"Are you all right? Do you feel sick again?"

He knows everything...

The sinking feeling grew as she clasped her head in her hands. This couldn't be happening to her! She shuddered slightly as the whole day came rushing back; suddenly she remembered just what had happened from the time she'd first seen him in the morning, to the picnic lunch and the trip to Mrs. Ojufemi's house, up until the moment she'd just awoken.

I couldn't keep secrets... oh heaven help me, he knows...

It took her a moment to realize that Jimmy was saying something, as she could see that his lips were moving, and it took her even longer to actually figure out what he was saying. There was something more about April's mother and the alien drug's effect on her, causing her to be sick in the first place…

"You don't have to explain," Cindy managed at last, cutting him off, and Jimmy blinked slightly. He frowned at her in confusion, his brows knitting together, as Cindy let her hands drop to her lap.

"But I thought you didn't remember," he said and she shook her head.

"Not anymore… it came back to me," she said, shrugging shakily and a nervous laugh bubbled up from within her. Yet again her words did not have the effect she'd expected, and she raised an eyebrow as his whole demeanor changed.

I don't believe it...

"Oh," he said in response, and she could actually detect a faint tremor to his voice. After a moment of watching him carefully, she realized that he'd clasped his hands together tightly to keep their trembling from showing. "Like talking triggered the memories somehow?"

He's as nervous as I am!

"Yeah," Cindy said, swallowing a little and looking at the ground.

"Ah…" he said before trailing off, the two of them looking in any direction but the other.

I can't blame him, I guess... he doesn't seem to know how to act around me anymore. I suppose... I suppose I should get out of here...

Unable to take it anymore, Cindy sighed a little and stood from the couch before looking him straight in the eye. He seemed startled for a moment, and it faded to unease when she continued to look him over carefully.

"Is… is something wrong?"

"I think we both need some time apart to think this over," she said and watched relief flood over him. He seemed unaware of the way his shoulders dropped or that his eyes closed briefly before he let out a small breath, but Cindy drank it all in.

"How about we talk about this whole thing once we've had time to put our thoughts in order?" she suggested, already knowing his answer.

"Sure," he said easily, but his eyes betrayed the welter of emotions that roiled beneath his suddenly calm exterior. "Goddard will show you out, okay?"

She nodded, and trying not to look too eager, she began to follow the mechanical dog. As he led her through the corridors of Jimmy's lab, the doors swishing shut behind her, Cindy struggled to work through her own emotions. So she was nervous… but he was as well. And he knew the truth now, not to mention that he hadn't completely rejected her… was his nervousness because he felt some inkling of what she did and was just unable to tell her yet?

Cindy, don't do this to yourself, she thought, trying to smash the flame of hope that had ignited within her. Chances were they weren't ever going to talk about it.

Then I'll make a point of it! Things can't stay like this, with the two of us unable to even look the other in the eye, she thought with a flash of determination, her fists clenching at her sides. Tomorrow morning before school, she'd go over to his house early and insist that they work something out.

Okay, so she had a plan. Now all that was left was to figure out what she was going to say…

I think I know what's going to be the hardest part.

Unfortunately for Cindy, sleep simply refused to come to her that night. She did everything she could possibly think of, from counting sheep to drinking a glass of warm milk with some honey. Yet for all her efforts, she merely wound up hating the thought of another sheep and fence (she'd gotten above three thousand before finally calling it quits) as well as the taste of milk and honey. So she now lay on her back in her room, trying to read herself to sleep with the most boring book she owned and hoping that her mother wouldn't catch her with her light on.

This isn't working! She thought with an angry growl and resisted the urge to hurl the book across the room in a fit of sleep-deprived irritation. Instead she contented herself by flopping back on her pillows heavily and buried her face in her hands.

"What on earth is the matter with me?" she muttered quietly, still possessing enough sense to realize she couldn't start screaming and tearing her hair out, lest she wake up both her parents. "I never normally have problems sleeping…"

But that was just it, wasn't it? Today certainly hadn't been a normal day… Cindy sighed heavily and let her hands fall to her stomach, her gaze playing connect-the-dots randomly with the speckles of plaster on the ceiling.

It's that whole thing with Neutron, she thought glumly. I'm never going to get any sleep until I settle things with him...

But what could she possibly do about it? It wasn't like she could just walk across the street and talk to him about it… she'd passed up that chance the moment her bedtime had rolled around. She certainly wasn't about to sneak out of the house in the middle of the night; what if her parents woke up and found her gone? And besides, she highly doubted that Neutron would appreciate rocks hurtling at his window at this hour. Things were already unstable enough between them and she didn't want to go and make it even more awkward.

She was just going to have to tough it out until morning… maybe he was an early riser and they could get this settled quickly.

I have to at least try and get some sleep... she thought ruefully, part of her dreading the thought of more insomnia cures as she reached over to shut off her bedside lamp.

Plink!

Cindy froze as the sound of something hitting her window reverberated through the utter silence of her room. Her fingers hovered above the switch to her lamp, every inch of her tingling with some unknown emotion; surely she'd imagined the noise, right? Who on earth would be tossing things at her window?

"It was probably just a tree branch or something," she assured herself, her hand beginning to descend upon the switch once more.

Plink! Plink!

That was no tree branch… besides, did she even have a tree remotely near her window? Someone was definitely throwing something, and she had a pretty good idea just who it was.

"Vortex!"

If she'd had any doubts before, the hissed whisper dispelled them easily. Hardly daring to believe her ears, she threw off her covers and scrambled out of bed, racing for her window. She undid the latch and shoved it open before leaning out eagerly, her eyes searching impatiently for the source of the welcome disturbance.

"What is it, Neutron?"

He stood in her moonlit lawn, looking rumpled and nervous, shifting from foot to foot unconsciously. She could tell he'd dressed hurriedly, as his shoes were untied and his shirt was wrinkled. He'd crammed his hands into the pockets of the navy blue jacket he wore, his overall posture tense, and he nibbled at his lower lip pensively.

"I… I'm not sure, exactly," he whispered back up to her, his gaze training on the bushes lining the side of her house. "I just… I couldn't sleep, so…"

A stray noise from her parents' room made Cindy shush him hastily, and she waited in anxious silence for a moment, her ears straining to pick up any further sounds, but when none came, she deemed it safe to continue.

"We can't talk like this," she whispered as she turned back to him. "I might get in trouble."

"Oh," he said softly and she could almost hear his sigh as he turned to go.

"Wait right there," she added quickly as she leaned back into her room to shut the window. "I'll be down in a few minutes."

"What?"

She almost smiled at the surprise present in his voice. "We need to talk, so I'll be right down." And before he could say anything in reply, she shut the window with a soft click.

Cindy changed in two minutes flat, throwing on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt while tying her hair off in a hasty ponytail and hunting in vain for her shoes. She finally found them stashed under her bed (the last place she'd ever expected, as she had a habit of being painfully organized when it came to her room) and after shutting off her light, she returned to the window. She reopened it before ducking out of sight and began to hunt under the window seat for the emergency ladder her mom had given her just a few weeks ago.

"Cindy?"

Jimmy's soft tones reached her and she straightened slightly to peer over the windowsill at him.

"What is it?"

He was frowning lightly and he hesitated before responding. "You… you aren't going to jump or something, are you?"

"What, worried about me?" She couldn't help herself; she was so conditioned to respond to any form of kindness from him with a barb, and winced when he bristled instantly. "Sorry," she added quickly, cutting him off before he could start yelling. "No, I am not going to jump. I'm smart enough to realize that I could seriously hurt myself at this height, T'ai Chi training or no."

He opened and shut his mouth a few times, as she'd never tried to stop a brewing argument before, but he finally settled on another light frown. "Then what are you doing? What are you looking for?"

"This fire ladder my mom gave me," she whispered and her hand finally closed around the cool metal hooks. "I know it's probably a good thing that I have it in case of emergencies, but part of me feels that it's kind of a waste of space."

"That's exactly what the people on the Titanic said about lifeboats," he said softly and she couldn't help the smirk that rose to her lips as she secured it over the windowsill and let it unravel down to the ground.

"Yeah, and as long as you live in the neighborhood, we can't be too careful, right? Who knows what you might wind up blowing up one of these days," she said before swinging herself out the window and sliding down the ladder easily.

"Ha, ha," he snapped as she hopped from the last rung and turned to him. He was looking at her with a rather irritated expression, but it faded quickly to nervousness when she took a few steps towards him.

"So where do you want to go to talk?" she whispered finally, trying to suppress her own set of butterflies. For some reason it had been much easier to hurl insults at him out her window, and now that she was faced with him…

Just stay calm, Cindy, she thought as Jimmy resumed nibbling on his lower lip. You can't afford to mess this chance up...

"Well, how about the lab?" he finally suggested. "It's the safest, as well as being the most secluded place I can think of."

Cindy frowned a little; she'd wanted them to talk on neutral ground, so to speak, but he did have a point about the safety part. No kid in their right mind would willingly wander around Retroville in the middle of the night; excluding their little trip to Retro Land, of course. That had been a matter of honor.

"I guess so," she said at last. "Let's hurry up, okay? It's cold out here."

Well, it looked for a moment that this was going to be the last chapter, but as I started writing the next part, it kept getting longer and longer and longer, to the point of "Oh my gosh, no one is going to want to read this like this." So I've moved their little chat to the next chapter so I won't feel rushed and can include appropriate amounts of mush… Anyway, stay tuned, review, and I'll love you forever.

Next part will be up in a few days, I SWEAR! If it's not, feel free to flood me with emails demanding an update. I'm more inclined to do anything when someone is poking me.