Short fic for the Valentine's day challange over at LJ. Much fun, that.

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If it wasn't for necessity, Sig would have been happy to never set foot in Haven again. The city was simply too full of smog and fear. The life in Spargus may be harsh, but nothing there could exhaust him the way Haven could. Having the fat slug Krew as his supposed boss didn't help either. Still, Sig was not one to disobey orders, especially not when they came from his king.

So, there he was, trudging through the city after one of the pointless missions that Krew sent him on, a heavy bag slung over his shoulder and feeling weary down to his bones. He was almost done for the day; the only thing left to do was to report back to the so-called boss at the Hip Hog Haven. While he was there, he might as well have a drink. Precursors knew that he deserved it.

The second he stepped into the bar, Krew was on him.

"Everything's done, ey?"

"Yup." The short reply was uncharacteristic from Sig, but he was just too damned worn to bother with the obese man hovering around the bar.

The answer wasn't enough for Krew, as expected. He continued to hover around the dark man as he made his way to the bar to order himself a drink. If he just kept his mind on that, he might be able to stop himself from firing the Peacemaker at the fat slug.

"Then where's the proof?" Krew inquired.

Before Sig settled himself down on a chair, he threw the bag down on the floor. It opened and spilled out its contents; three large metal-head skulls.

"Three nasty bad boys accounted for."

"Good, good!" Krew said, finally pleased. "Now the plan can move on."

Sig had no idea what he was talking about, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Krew was always like that, keeping his hired guns in the dark. The left hand had no fucking clue what the right was up to.

To Sig's great relief, the flying tub of lard buzzed off after that. With a deep sigh, he gestured to Tess to give him a beer. She had been watching the short exchange, just like she always did.

"You seem tired, Sig." she said as she set the drink in front of him. "A little trip like that shouldn't have been anything to you."

"I guess the city's just getting' to me, cherry."

She nodded and gave a sympathetic smile. "Yeah, I know what that's like. God, what I wouldn't give for some fresh air." She suddenly grinned and leaned in close to add with a whisper: "No way that I can get that in here, you know." If there was any doubt to what she meant, the look she cast in the direction that Krew had disappeared to clarified it well enough.

Sig snorted and managed to crack a tired smile. Thank the Precursors for Tess on days like this.

"Speaking off…" she continued. "I have some errands to run. Can you hold the fort until I get back?"

"No problem, honey-locks."

"Thanks, Sig. You're the best." She bent down to retrieve a package from under the bar. "I won't be gone long." She smiled at him before disappearing through the back-door, leaving him alone in the bar. At least, so he thought.

"Ya know what ya need, man? Ya need to get laid." A gruff voice said, shattering the silence.

Looking over his shoulder, Sig saw a lanky, blond man getting up from a booth. Even without looking, Sig should have known who it was. The voice and the comment should have been enough.

"Hey, boom-boy. How's business?" he said while mentally cursing himself for not seeing the man when he came in. If he had, he would have just dropped on the skulls to Krew and left, he wasn't in the mood to deal with Jinx - the foul-mouthed explosives-expert.

He really must be tired.

"Eh, same old, same old. It might kick up a notch tomorrow, but today's all about the booze." The blond grinned and walked up to the dark man. Even from this distance, Sig could smell the smoke and alcohol on him.

"Normal people drink when they come home from a job, not the day before." Sig smirked.

"Well, I ain't normal people, now am I?"

There was something with Jinx's tone when he said that, but Sig couldn't quite put his finger on it. Instead he just shrugged and took a sip of his beer.

"Seriously, though. How long is it since ya got laid?" the blond inquired and slumped down on the chair next to Sig.

"None of yer business."

"Too long, then. C'mon, today's all about getting' laid! An' booze, but getting' laid ranks pretty damned high, too!" Jinx almost shouted with a big grin and gestured wildly. If it wasn't for Sig slapping a supporting hand on his back, he would have fallen off the chair.

"Thanks, man. Now where was I?" he continued. "Right, like I said, today o' all days, is the day for havin' sex."

Sig knew that he shouldn't even try to understand what the obviously drunk man was going on about, but his curiosity got the better of him.

"Just what's so special about today, Dynamite?"

"Ooh, I love those nicknames ya come up with. Dynamite, yeah, that has a nice ring to it." Jinx grinned even wider, while Sig tried to figure out just what was up with him.

"Spill it, will ya."

"Ya really don't know what today is? It's Valentine's Day, man! The day for everythin' between sweet lovin' ta rough sex!"

Sig hadn't thought about Valentine's Day for many years. He simply hadn't had a reason too. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"It's just another day."

"Naaw, that's where yer wrong. Everyone should get laid today." Jinx exclaimed and pushed the large man's shoulder, making him spill his beer.

Sig bit back an annoyed sneer. "Lissen here, boom-boy. I'm too damned tired for this."

"That's why ya need sex, man. Ta get those juices flowin' an' that energy risin'!" This time the blond didn't push him, but opted to throw an arm around his shoulders.

"A good night's sleep would do the trick." Sig mumbled, trying his best to ignore the arm.

"Don't be so cold, man! I'm right, an' ya know it."

Sig was spared from having to either reply or to clobber the drunk blond when Tess walked in again.

"The boobs have arrived!" Jinx said, directing his attention to the woman. "How about another drink, babe?"

"How about no?" She replied, standing in front of the two men. "You've had enough already."

"Aww, c'mon, honey." Jinx whined and removed his arm from Sig to lean heavily on his elbows. Tess just raised an eyebrow at him.

Sig couldn't help himself. A quick swipe on the man's elbow was all it took to get Jinx off balance and send him crashing to the floor.

"Don't argue with the lady, TNT." He grinned.

"Alright, alright…" Jinx whined while grabbing the bar to help himself up to his feet. "I get th' point. 'Sides, I gotta go an' see a man about a cock anyway." Before he turned to walk out, he leaned in closer to Sig. "You'll see my point soon enough."

When he was gone, Tess raised an inquiring eyebrow at the dark man. "What was that about?"

"I have no idea. Something about Valentine's day."

Tess eyes lit up and a bright smile lit up her face. "That's today! Man, I hope Daxter comes in today!"

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A couple of hours later, Sig arrived at what he viewed as his home away from home. It wasn't much, just a small apartment in the slums, but at least it was a place where he could lock the door and sleep.

He flipped on the lights and was half-way to the bathroom when he froze. There was something in the apartment that didn't belong there. Or, rather, someone. Someone who was sprawled out on his bed, wearing nothing but a red ribbon wrapped around a certain body-part. A body-part that was very erect and pointed at the ceiling.

"So… aren't ya goin' to unwrap yer Valentine's day gift?" Jinx purred.

To hell with all the questions about what the hell the blond was doing or how he had even gotten in. Completely dumb-struck, the only thing Sig could do was to gape.

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The end.