Disclaimer: Alas FF7 is not mine.
"Yes! I am Cloud!"
Aeris planted a swift kick to his face. "We fucking get it! Throughout our whole walk through this desert! Yeth! I am Cloud!" She said mimicking the blonde.
"Aeris don't you think that's a bit rough?" Tifa said putting her hand on aeris's shoulder.
Aeris took her hand and flung her towards a cactus. "Don't touch me, you loose bitch!"
Cut to cloud crying like a bitch in the sand. "WHY!"
Aeris was about to shove her six foot rod up his ass when Cid intervened. "It's ok Aeris… I understand."
"You, you do?" She said happy that someone finally understood her.
Cid reached into his pocket and presented a long wrapped tube.
"What's that?"
He seemed a bit taken back. "Well I mean… itsa… you know."
"What?"
"A tampon… for your period…." He whispered.
Her rod found a new home in the pit of Cid's back side. "It's fucking hot!"
"I feel no thirst because… I am indeed Vincent."
Cait Sith pulled a canester from his giant mog and drank.
"ARGH!" She screamed lunging at the cat.
Yuffie looked at the scene with terror. "Oh… my… gawd…"
In the end Cait Sith had hair missing and Aeris had many scratch marks on her face.
"Why are we in this desert anyway?" Tifa asked.
"Well." Yuffie said pocketing a summon materia from a still crying cloud. "Really there is no reason. The author must have thought it would be really clever to put us all in a desert in which we don't have any water and will eventually kill each other…"
A scene of Aeris chasing Red XIII went on in the background.
Tifa squeezed her obviously plastic breasts together, like the whore she is, and walked over to cloud. "Why are you crying you ton of sexy man, whom I'll eventually take full advantage of once the amazingly beautiful and nonplastic Aeris dies because I know I can never be the woman she is.
Cloud blinked in confusion.
"Oh, Cliff notes… um, I'm a big whore and Aeris deserves you."
"Oh…."
Barret laughed at the scene of his group, Avalanche, acting incredibly stupid. "Ha ha." He looked at the pipe he had in his mouth and inserted more bubble fluid into it. "Silly white folk. They can't even associate with each other in a peaceful manner."
"Fuck you!" Aeris screamed while pulling out what was remaining of Vincent's hair.
Barret tisked a bit. "Profanity, profanity fair Aeris."
There was that moment of complete silence in which everyone in the group turned their heads Barret's way. All shook their head slightly and Red even had to wipe a tear from his eye. In this short moment Barret had realized what he had done. He had fucked with a white girl.
In only seconds Aeris had flown through the air and landed in front of Barret's shaking body.
"What did. You say?"
But before the muscled man could even answer Aeris had ripped off his ass and placed it on top of his head.
"What did you say ass hat?"
Barret choked back tears and tried to answer without insulting the pink menace. "N-n-nothing."
Aeris had motion toward him and he responded with a flinch. "I thought so."
Hours had past and the group still hadn't been able to find their way out of the endless desert.
"Hours have past and we haven't been able to find our way out of this endless desert!" Yuffie whined while kicking rocks.
"Well if someone hadn't thought that this would make a great short cut we wouldn't be in this mess!" Aeris said accusingly towards cloud.
"But I'm cloud…"
"You mother fucker!" Aeris said leaping towards the blonde but was stopped but Red. "Get offa me!"
Red sniffed at the air. He followed the scent and found Tifa at the end of it. "Wow… you smell good." He said looking at her breasts.
"Ha ha! Thanks!" She said running off to flirt with anything with two legs.
Red groaned with uncomfort.
Night fall came and the group was still lost in this unknown desert. They set up camp when they found a large pond.
"Hey Cloud." Tifa said swimming towards him with her boobs floating.
"Hi Tifa." Cloud said looking somewhere else other than her face.
That whore giggled. "What are you looking at?"
"Your boobs."
"Oh! These old things?" She said arching her back to make them seem bigger. "I just had them done about a month before you came to the 7th heaven."
Aeris swam as fast as she could towards the two. "Tifa can I speak to you a moment?"
"Sure, Aeris." She said running her hand down her left breast.
Aeris led her behind a large rock and smacked that bitch. "He's mine whore."
Tifa responded with a quick punch to the gut. " I beg to differ you slut.."
"How. Am. I. A. Slut?" She struck with her rod at every word.
Tifa lay on the floor badly bruised.
"Listen bitch." Aeris said grabbing the the back of her head. "Cloud is mine."
"How do you know?" She said as Aeris released her from her grip.
Aeris pulled out a large book and started to flip through it.
"What's that?"
"A strategy guide. In this it records all of the conversations that take place between characters. For some reason I don't have the ending of disc 1."
"And what do you think you'll find in there?"
"Ha!" She said shoving the book into Tifa's face.
"What?"
"In this it says that Cloud's mother said that he should get an older girl friend."
"And?"
Aeris rolled her eyes. She's had to deal with Tifa's stupidity many times. "How old am I?"
"22."
"And cloud?"
"21."
Aeris stood there waiting for the brunette's reaction but it never came. Tifa just stood there waiting to hear more of what Aeris had to say.
"Oh this stupid, stupid whore." She muttered to herself and walked away.
"What!"
On the other side of the lake side was Vincent listening to music on his Mp3 player. He found a spot where he could finally be alone to express himself.
"I'ma Barbie girl! In a Barbie wooooooorld! Life in plastic! It's fantasic!" He sang while dancing with his hands in the air. "You can brush my hair! Undress me everywheeeeeeeerrrrrre!" He flung off his cloak and pants.
"Imagination! Life is your creation!" Yuffie said jumping into the song and dance.
Vincent squeeled. "What are you doing!" He said deepening his voice.
"Singing with you." Yuffie said smiling.
"I was NOT singing! I was… brooding… yes, brooding!"
"While listening to Barbie Girl?"
"What I do in my spare time is non of your business!" He said running off in a fit.
: D please review! If you guys like it then I'll put up more chapters while writing Blind Affection but if you don't like it I'll still write Blind Affection.