AN: Alright, this is the chapter that defines the rating for the entire fic. If you were going to skip any chapter solely based on the incest premise, this would be it.
Delicate Chapter 4: Make Love"We might make love
In some sacred place
That look on your face
Is delicate"
Susan had come to the conclusion that there was a stark difference between sex and making love. Sex was raw and lustful. It was a physical need that only left one satiated when the act was done. Making love however, was tender and gentle. The touches and caresses each held a meaning that words would not be able to translate. Tonight she understood the difference between the two.
The two other boys had fumbled too much, and she hoped before it had even begun that it would be over. She made it through the days after by saying it was just sex, it did not mean anything. With her lover however, what they had just done was so much more than sex.
Laying in the quiet dark of a small flat in Oxford, Susan wrapped the cream coloured sheet around her as she watched the rise and fall of her lover's chest. His golden locks fell into his eyes as he mumbled something about chasing after a stag. Softly, Susan pressed her lips against Peter's cheek and rose from the bed.
The early morning breeze felt chilly against her bare shoulders. Glancing at the alarm clock, she saw that it was almost five o'clock in the morning.
Striding to the bedroom window, she looked at the dusky clear sky. Sunlight and moonlight were just beginning their battle over who owned the heavens, and the star was gradually winning.
A feeling of nostalgia swept through Susan's being. The emotion was so strong, she braced herself against the frame of the window to prevent collapsing. Tears came to her eyes as she glanced at the rise of the early morning light, remembering another life, another time when these things had happened. The memory played in her mind as though she was living it again.
Less than four days had passed when High King Peter returned from his battle in the north against the giants. The procession to Cair Paravel for his return was a grand affair, but he could not help but notice that many of the creatures were missing. Then he remembered about the message of a brigade being sent to the borders to aid Archenland against a Calormen attack. Such news had wearied his heart, but now he was home.
Upon hearing the shouts of joy that the High King had returned, Susan gathered her skirts and ran with the speed of Hermes to the entrance hall to great her beloved brother. Many would say that when Queen Susan the Gentle first gazed upon the High King, she began to glow with the radiance of some heavenly creature.
Peter turned to gaze at Susan, believing she had never seemed more beautiful to his eyes. An eternity passed between the two until they both met half way into and embrace filled with kisses. Finally Susan relinquished her hold on her brother admonishing him to go take a bath and change.
"Always the mother," Peter mumbled under his breath, only to have Susan slap his arm gently.
"I heard that," she said through a small chuckle.
When Peter was finished being waited upon by what servants remained, he entered Susan's private sitting room only to find her waiting there with a tray of cakes and a hot drinks. Smiling, the High King took seat next to his fair maiden, gently playing with her hand that rested upon her lap.
"Edmund and Lucy are then still at battle?" Peter asked, the worry for his other siblings edging his usually stoic face.
"Aye, they remain there," Susan replied. In her heart she knew questions would soon be asked about what exactly had happened between the suitor, Prince Rabadash, and herself.
"Since none of the servants can enlighten me on why Archenland is under siege, perhaps you can, dear sister," he spoke with that crooked smile that he used to only get to Susan. "Did you not just return from visiting the dear prince?" The statement came with a tone of hatred, as it always did when the High King spoke of his sister's suitors.
Sighing, Susan let go of his hand. Walking away from him, she tried to put as much physical distance between them as she could. Taking a deep breath, she fumbled with the hem of her bodice before she spoke.
"Oh Peter!" she began, already the sobs coming to her voice. "It was truly horrible. You were wise to Rabadash all along. Edmund and I took flight when it was realized that he was false."
The anger began to edge away Peter's stoic façade. He could never keep his emotions fully at bay when it came to matters of his siblings, most importantly Susan.
"What did he do?" Peter grinded out, his voice becoming harsher the more he spoke.
"He was planning on taking me captive, Peter. If we had not escaped, Edmund would have been put in prison or killed, and I would have been made his slave," Susan wept, not being able to keep the story from Peter. "When he found out about our absence, he summoned an army. His plan was to take me away by force if he must. They would conquer Archenland to get to me, Peter."
Turning around to face Peter, Susan wanted to rush into his arms and have him say that she was safe. She wanted to see calm and undisturbed Peter sitting there upon her sofa. Instead she met a force of nature.
With a primal yell, Peter tossed over the small table that sat in front of him. The smashing of glass caused some of the servants to run in only to be yelled at to get out very forcibly by the King. No one could remember his anger being so strong.
"How dare they!" Peter shouted, his anger not ebbing away. "Attack an innocent neighbor to steal a monarch of Narnia. We cannot let this be. We will march to Tisroc's Palace and show them a real war."
Susan gasped at Peter's words. There were times when battle was necessary. She knew this to be true, but she never wanted her subjects and her siblings going to war over something like this.
Calmly she walked to Peter in slow strides, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Still he had his back to her, seething with fury more so at himself for almost losing Susan than at Rabadash for trying to take her. Softly, Susan wrapped her arms around Peter, noticing how the anger began to ebb away from him. She could feel his body jolt as he tried to suppress the tears he held.
Hushing him, she softly turned him around to face her.
"What's done is done, Peter," she began. "I received word yesterday that Rabadash is in captivity and all are safe. There is no need for rash actions"
Holding her against him, Peter rested his head against her raven locks remembering how much he had missed her presence when he was away. He let his lips fall to her crowned head before releasing her a little from his tight grip.
"Peter," Susan started," promise me you will not attempt something rash."
"I will try, my Sue," he said with finality. Gazing into her eyes, he wondered what he would have done if Rabadash had taken her away. The thought petrified him. If Susan were gone, a piece of him would be missing. He would trade being the High King just to know she would be with him always.
"I love you," he whispered into her hair.
"And I you," she replied.
For the first time, Susan felt truly like a queen. Peter's caresses were so gentle, she felt as though he was worshipping her. Her hands entangled themselves in Peter's golden mane. Soon the gentleness of the touches became frenzied and their need to be closer to each other grew with each kiss.
Peter's hands found the clasp to her dress. Pulling away, he looked at her with the unspoken question in his eyes. He would stop if she said to, but he need to know now before he was too far to stop. Her reply was a series of kisses upon his newly shaven jaw, and her hands unclasping his belt. It was all the permission Peter needed before he undid the clasps and strings to her gown.
The ground was covered with their clothing as they gazed at each other for the first time. She never looked more beautiful to Peter. Stripped down to her soul, she was still the most elegant creature he had ever seen. Taking Peter's hands in her own, she led him away into her bedroom, locking the door once they entered.
Shyly approaching him, Susan felt unworthy of such a great man's love and affection. He pulled her into him, his lips trailing fire down her neck. The cool sheets caused a shiver to run up her spine as he laid her upon the silken bedclothes. His lips traveled along her collarbone and soon made their pathway to her breasts. Susan felt she was suffocating from the want of him. Everything was going too slow, but she would not rush him.
Like the goddess she was, Peter worshipped Susan's body like a priest at a sacred temple. Yet Narnia was a sacred place so it was only fitting he do so here. The feelings she created in him were overwhelming, he had to control himself, make it last forever because who knew when they would be able to hide away again once Edmund and Lucy were back.
Gently, Susan pulled Peter's lips back to her own. His kisses were addictive in their taste, her perfect drug.
Looking at him with pleading eyes, Susan whispered against his lips, "Please Peter."
Those two words were the only encouragement he needed. Slowly he entered her and the warmth of it washed over him. He tried to be as gentle as possible, but he still was not surprised when a whimper escaped from Susan's lips. For a moment he waited for her to say she was all right.
It was a dance of souls as lips grazed flesh, hands explored places they had only imagined, and their bodies joined. They met in perfect strokes, and his name escaping Susan's lips over their labored breaths was the most wondrous chorus he had ever heard.
Too soon he felt her walls clench around him and with one final thrust he groaned his pleasure. The image of her face, so serene and delicate, as they finished would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life, but now as the sheets tangled around their glistening bodies, he didn't care.
After another long session, Susan found relief in just staring at her lover as he slept. She could see the boy he was somewhere underneath the man before her. Smiling, she placed a kiss on his brow and gently climbed out of their bed.
Wrapping herself in the cerulean bed cloth, Susan made her way to her bedchamber window, watching as the western sky began to relinquish the last hues of darkness. In her head she knew there had to be guilt, but she felt none, for it was too right.
Peter awoke to an angel framed by the window. She glowed with love and passion. Calming himself from taking her again right then and there, he approached her quietly. He chuckled as she jumped when his arms snaked around her waist, his lips leaving a searing kiss against her bare shoulder.
"If you do that we may never leave this chamber," Susan mockingly admonished him.
"Would that be such a bad thing?" Peter questioned. However he would not receive an answer because the horns and trumpets blared with the arrival of King Edmund the Just and Queen Lucy the Valiant.
Peeking out the bedchamber door, Peter found that a new set of tunics had been left folded by the door for him. "Sometimes it is wonderful being king," he thought to himself. Quickly the two lovers changed to greet their returning siblings.
King Edmund and Queen Lucy noticed there was a change in their brother and sister. They radiated glory and grace like no one they had seen before. Shrugging it off Ed and Lucy were just glad to be home finally.
None of the servants spoke of what they heard or saw when the other two royals were away. When asked by King Edmund why Susan's table was being replaced, they said that a clumsy servant had fallen on it. Lucy sometimes wondered why Peter's study was locked or he told her he was busy when clearly Susan was in there with him. Then she thought perhaps it had to do with another suitor's letter and proposal.
Most meetings between High King Peter and Queen Susan started with the business of her turning down another prince or lord, yet they always ended with one of them sneaking back into their own chamber early in the morning. However, it did not take long before they could stop sneaking around.
Susan tore up the letter from another lord in a fit of anger. Could they not see that she would never leave Narnia? Peter had calmed her down, assuring her that she would never have to leave unless she wanted to. Letting his lips taste her own, they both jumped apart when Lucy jumped out with a "Ha!" Peter looked at Susan, who was looking at Peter, both being watched by their littlest sister.
"I knew it!" Lucy began with a cheerful tone that surprised both Susan and Peter. "You two just could have told both Ed and I, we had figured it out months ago that you fancied one another. Between you, Peter, and your horrid behavior to visiting princes and you, Susan, with your sudden change of mood after visiting Peter, it was quite obvious," she said matter of factly.
"And what does Edmund think?" Susan asked with apprehension.
"Oh, he just wants you both to be happy."
"We are now," Peter stated, looking at the woman that held his heart.
No one was surprised when the announcement of the marriage of King Peter and Queen Susan came. Aslan himself gave his blessing upon the couple reminding them that all is pure in Narnia, most of all love.
The muffled noises of Peter waking brought Susan out of her daydream. "I was once a queen," she thought, "but now I am just Susan Pevensie of Finchley and that is how it must be."
Turning over, Peter looked at Susan, smiling at her morning radiance.
"Come back to bed, Sue," he stated through a yawn. "It's cold without you here."
Smiling, Susan jumped back into his bed and curled into his embrace. In the throws of passion she felt that the cotton bed cloths had become blue silk against her skin. Peter thought he heard the music of the fauns keeping the rhythm of their beating hearts. It felt like being back in Narnia, that sacred place where their love was perfect.
She had tried so long to pretend not to remember. Being with Peter like this eased her pain for at least she could have a part of that world back here on the other side of the wardrobe. But when she was not with Peter, the aching was too much and so she threw herself into society with its painted faces. There she let the boys help her forget if even for a moment all that she lost, the temporary bliss masking the permanent pain.
She felt like a whore the other times she let the boys' hands travel up her skirts, but Peter made her feel like the queen she was.
"Yes," Susan decided, "there is a difference."