Mari Skyrin-Sarker- Thanks! I will I promise.

duj- Yeah, just making it up as I go. Ms. Rowling will josh us all before she's through. Thank you!

KellyRoxton- Thank you! She's probably more ready than I am but here goes!

fuzzywuzzywuzza- Your name is fun to type! Thank you! I'll try not to disappoint.

little beloved- I'm blushing! You are too kind for which I'm fabulously grateful. Thanks!

gal-from-the-'hood- Thanks! I think it happens like total eclipses and me balancing my checkbook, possibly less often.

CareBearErin- Thanks! I like your theory! I always figured he couldn't be arsed. Who's the poor man had to impress- Bellatrix? Volde? I wouldn't waste the shampoo either!

Once again a deluge of my most humble gratitude for to my lovely reviewers for taking the time to let me know how I'm doing. If you are new to the story don't be shy! Say hi, correct me, criticize my mother's lack of sense for teaching me how to read and write, or flame me personally if you'd like! I promise I'll think you are the bee's knees regardless of what sort of a review I get.

Discovering the Hidden Heart

Part Seven

A Mind's Eye View

"Stand and face me as if we were dueling. Nod when you wish to begin."

She stood. Part of her mind took the time to remind her what a terrifying concept dueling Snape's mind should be. She was not afraid of him though he certainly looked every bit as menacing as his reputation, tall, dark, sinister, and eager to deal her a crushing defeat. For the first time, it struck her that Snape's persona was cultivated. He was like one of those Muggle actors rumored to live inside their creations. Snape was a character, a poster for the Dark Arts, a carefully calculated model of a Death Eater, and probably a parody of himself all rolled into one. She doubted if anyone even Dumbledore had ever known the real man underneath the layers of it all. She took a deep breath, reviewed her ideas for defending herself, and then nodded.

Around her mind she erected a stone fortress with no windows and no door. Its walls were so thick that it had no middle and so high that it had no top and no bottom. When Snape reduced her finely crafted citadel to a pile of dust that blew away on her psychic winds, he encountered metal plate. He pushed against it receiving a jolt of electricity. He melted the metal away to find himself inside a rustic cottage facing a doorway. Snape, the door, and most of the walls of the house exploded outward into a crazed garden filled with improbable flowers and a yellow brick road. He burned the image away like celluloid caught too long in a projector. To Hermione Snape felt like a hot knife cutting away at her defenses. He was so close to her and so ruthlessly relentless. It was only a matter of time before he was entirely in control. She knew she could not fight him but would not accept defeat. She retreated inward. She sensed him following in her darkness and made herself go deeper into her center until she was far away, until he did not exist at all.

Distantly she heard her name. She knew the danger had passed. There was sensation and a light. The light pulled her toward it as she opened her eyes. He held her against him cradled in one arm. He was patting her cheek softly saying 'Miss Granger' over and over. She was warm for the first time in weeks. The heat he was radiating made her want to wrap her arms around him and close her eyes again. She might have done so had he already not looked close to panic in his concern.

"I'm all right," she said softly.

Her fingers closed on two handfuls of soft black wool. She held on tight.

"How many fingers?"

"Two more than might get you shot in an American Muggle traffic jam."

"Do know what day this is?"

"Of course! Happy Christmas Professor Trelawney. Did you lose your glasses again?"

"Ideally, a sense of humor should be improved by consciousness."

"Which memories did you see, sir?"

"I saw only what you showed me, Miss Granger. How were you attempting to block?"

"First I erected barriers, then the Wizard of Oz, and then meditation when I got desperate."

"Meditation?"

"Yes, I do it to relax. This time I used magic to speed the process. I went very deep trying to get away from you, sir."

"I suggest that you try something else. A successful mind block should not leave you defenseless to a physical attack."

Suddenly Snape seemed to realize that he was holding her. He helped her to stand. Reluctantly she let go of his clothes.

"Any dizziness?"

"No, I'm fine, sir."

"My apologies for- I caught you as you fell," he explained almost guiltily.

"Don't apologize for saving me a concussion, Professor. Thank you for catching me. May I try again if I promise not to fall over this time?"

"If you wish to continue I suggest you attempt to enter my mind. I will not keep you out. Nor will I give you free rein once you are in here. Perhaps you would prefer to sit?"

"Yes, I would if you don't mind."

Snape wordlessly angled the chairs to face. They sat in their designated chairs.

"Sir, isn't there a chance that I could hurt you just by not knowing what I'm doing?"

"Yes, there is a small chance. That is why I will be defending myself even as I admit you. You are welcome to enter. Please attempt to do so when you are ready."

"Are there steps that I can take to prevent doing harm?"

"Your concern is appreciated. You will not learn those skills in this lesson. You can trust me to protect my own mind, Miss Granger. Come in if you can."

Hermione seized on the challenge. She turned her mind into a diver and executed a perfect swan from high atop a cliff deep into Snape's giant mind pensieve. She felt a small amount of resistance like surface tension that melted pleasantly around the shape of her consciousness. Suddenly she was inside Snape sensing his surrounding memory from his perspective. She felt the ache of his body and knew that he had recently been the victim of Cruciatus. She smelled and tasted myrrh and camphor and knew he had drank a Draught of Vivification used to repair minor nerve damage. That potion has no shelf life. It must be made fresh just prior to use. She watched noting a slight tremor as his hands unrolled a parchment. It was a letter from Slug and Jiggers informing him that they had received anonymous payment for the cost of quantities of Bicorn horn and Boomslang skin to be delivered to him at Hogwarts. They were enquiring as to how they should proceed as the order was an unusual one. Suddenly, she felt the same resistance that she had encountered entering. It changed shape, solidified into a cushioning mass and pressed gently against her nudging her out of Snape and his memory. Her mind withdrew. Suddenly she was sitting across from him held by his dark gaze.

"So you knew it was me, sir."

"You covered your tracks well. Your downfall was the lack of other suspects both clever and brave enough to commit the crime yet conscientious enough to reimburse me after. You have done well tonight, Miss Granger. I believe you could become accomplished at both Occlumency and Legilimency with lessons and practice."

"Sir, who cast Cruciatus on you?"

Snape looked surprised but recovered quickly.

"Lucius Malfoy."

"Why?"

"We had a minor disagreement."

"About what?" She regretted asking. It was none of her business. She expected Snape to tell her that. Instead he said, "It concerned Draco's Potions grades."

"Draco's grades were always excellent. He showed real talent at Potions."

"Yes, that was part of our disagreement. What else did you glean from the memory?"

Hermione realized that there was something about the incident Snape that did not want her to know.

"It was because my grades in the class were higher than Malfoy's. Wasn't it sir?"

"Yes."

"Yet you never lowered my grades. You never raised his. Grading was the only thing you did fairly, well, a lot fairer than the taking House Points."

"House Points do not matter."

"I'm ashamed how many years it took me to work that one out. I'm sorry that my grades caused you trouble, Professor."

"You have no reason to be."

"I wish you'd told me. I could have-"

"Miss Granger, it was a one time incident. I sorted out the matter with Lucius."

"May I ask how, sir?"

"I reminded him that his only heir was under my protection."

"That's quite a threat."

"No, it was the reality. Malfoy chose to view it as a threat. After, he decided it was not my fault if his son was too lazy to work harder than you."

"So he took his frustration out on Draco who dared let the mudblood get better grades?"

"Draco then brought his troubles concerning his father's unfair expectations to me."

"Giving you the chance to undermine his father's authority?"

"Making opportunity of misfortune is the mark of every good Slytherin. Did you arrive at any other insights on your excursion into my past?"

"You made and drank a Draught of Vivification and were still suffering some nerve damage in your hands due I presume to the Cruciatus Curse."

"Anything else?"

"It was a real memory."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes."

"Excellent, Miss Granger. What else?"

"You were practicing Occlumency during the memory."

"Why would you think so?"

"Because there was nothing going on in your mind, no emotion, no stray thought. It was almost like your mind wasn't there. That's why you picked that particular memory to show me."

"Yes, I hoped you would recognize the Occlumency. Anything else?"

Hermione thought back over the experience. Then shook her head.

Snape raised an eyebrow.

"What did I miss, sir?"

"Who knows? You did well. I did not think you could detect the reduced effects of Cruciatus or the Draught of Vivification since I do not teach it and know Slughorn did not. I underestimated you."

"May I try keeping you out again, sir."

"All right. Again, this will be a very low level attack. Are you prepared?"

"Yes sir."

This time she tried to emulate what Snape was doing in his memory. It felt almost as though she was handing her mind off to the universe. The feeling of emotional disconnect was horrible. She snatched it back again. She could feel him wrestling control away from her. She made her mind a transparent sphere. When she could feel him trying to get hold on it, she made the sphere slippery as a soap bubble. He pushed against it. She let it give just a bit until he was nearly in then pushed with all her soul and being and tossed him out.

"Well done. You have sucessfully defended against an attack without falling over. What did you do to defend yourself?"

"I tried to clear my mind as you were doing in your memory. It felt- frightfully unnatural, sir. Instead I imagined my consciousness as a transparent sphere. I made it slippery and hard to hold on to, then increased its elasticity. I let you push against it then pushed back as hard as I could."

"Visualization seems to be your strong suit. It does not matter whether or not you ever learn my techniques so long as yours work for you. How do you feel?"

"I feel the effort like the start of a headache or like it's time to take a break from reading."

"The level of effort required lessens with practice. Would you like to take a break?"

Hermione stood. "If you'll have a cup of tea with me, sir?"

"I will."

She fixed two cups and handed one to Snape who nodded his thanks.

"Did you spar with Dumbledore often?"

"When I was young before my Occlumency surpassed his Legilimency. Soon we both became proficient at keeping each other out."

"Why were you practicing Occlumency that day in your memory then? I had assumed you were practicing long distance with Dumbledore."

"As I said Occlumency can only be used in self-defense. The opponent need not be a Legilimens however. Occlumency is mastery over one's own mind. If you can master the skills of Occlumency, you can use them to stop nightmares, solve mental puzzles, escape stray emotions that consume thought, split concentration to juggle numerous tasks at once, and even lessen the perception of physical pain."

"That's why it was an ache and not debilitating agony. He'd only just cast Cruciatus on you. Hadn't he?"

"Yes, I met with him at the manor perhaps two hours before. Normally I would have taken a sleeping or pain potion along with the Draught of Vivification as that draught also increases pain as it repairs nerves. Unfortunately, I had classes to teach."

"Sir, why did Voldemort trust you if he knew of your skills?"

"He knew I was a natural Legilimens and knew I had never used that power against him. He had no concept of the extent of my powers as an Occlumens. He wanted to believe that his Legilimency was superior to any ability I might have to keep him out. I did everything I could to instill that false sense of security."

"You were using these skills while making potions for the infirmary. Weren't you, sir?"

Snape nodded. "I find ways to employ them constantly. These skills are like muscles, Miss Granger. They strengthen with use and atrophy with neglect."

"For all the practice you got with Voldemort you must be one of the finest Occlumens in the world, sir."

"Perhaps."

"Professor, if you would teach me I'd promise to do my very best to learn and practice all I can."

"I do not doubt your study habits, Miss Granger. I will discuss regular lessons with Minerva."

"In exchange for lessons I'll do your drudge work, sir."

"Are you trying to deprive the recipients of my detentions of something useful to occupy their idle time? How very selfish of you. If you would care to assist me with potions in your spare time you are more than welcome. You are certainly not obligated to do so. It is nine o'clock."

"Have you charmed the time to pass faster in here?"

"Were I so skilled in Chronomancy I would save the effort for staff meetings and Ministry galas."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one expecting 'A Night to Remember' to be just dreadful. At least we can drink and make fun of the Minister together."

"So you have not heard? Because of the number of students invited many of whom are still underage no alcohol will be served."

"Oh Gods!"

"Yes, 'A Night to Remember' because they offer no other option. Needless to say I am most grateful that I will have your company in our misery. Goodnight, Miss Granger. I will see you tomorrow night at eight."

"Goodnight sir. Thank you for my lesson."

A/N- I do not use Unforgivables to get reviews. May I bribe you with an imaginary chocolate frog?