Author's note: Thanks for your reviews! I really appreciate your support and honesty. I made Jak and Keira fight because it was bound to happen. Jak is on a learning curve I just hope he can figure out his life before its too late, well for Daxter's sake. The story is going to elevate here on end so be prepared... anything can happen.! Moohahahahaha!

Oh and this story is un-beta-ed so be prepared to find the odd puntuation or spellingmistake, unless someone wants to check it for me...

Erham, anyway, enjoy!

Jak picked up the phone and dialled the number. Luckily he remembered the standard number position on the phone keypad. He hoped that the person on the other end was there; he had so much to say that he didn't know if he could say it all without making a fool of himself.

The ringing continued until the answering machine picked up the call.

"You reached..."

"Keira!" Jak practically yelled as her voice reached his ears but then realized his mistake

"...Keira's home, I'm not available at the moment, if you like to leave your name and number so I may get back to you"

The beep sounded after the tape played the message. Jak sighed but he left a message anyway.

"Hey Keira, its Jak. Uh, I'm sorry for being a stupid Hiphog head the past few weeks. Well I'm more than sorry... listen uh can you please call me back, when- when you can I need to talk to you. I know I-I never wanted to talk to you before but after last night...ah look I'm just sorry... ok?"

Jak slammed the receiver down feeling like an idiot. It took him a lot not to stutter all over the place. He was nervous to face up to Keira. It was hard to admit he was wrong, it hurt his pride, it made him more nervous to admit it to someone else. He let out a shaky breath before regaining his nerves. He never realized this would be so hard for him. He was surprised at himself.

He sighed and turned away. Then he remembered he needed a lift to the Port. He needed to get some Light Eco and the vents are in the Wasteland, he needed to practice, he needed to learn how to 'see' with his power but he can't do it if he didn't have anything left in his system.

Then a thought came to mind. He might get a lift through Ashelin. He just hoped she wasn't too busy but after the other day when she took him home, Ashelin showed a little affection for him. She won't bend over backward but he knew she would help him.

He dialled the memorized number and ringing came along bidding for someone to answer.

"Hello?" Ashelin's voice came

"Hey Ashelin?"

"Jak?" there was surprise in her voice but then regained a normal tone, "What's wrong?"

"I hate to bother you but I need a lift" Jak muttered once again feeling embarrassed for being useless

"No problem, where to?" Ashelin sounded friendly enough

"Spargus. I just need a lift to the ship in the Port" Jak specified

"What for?" Ashelin asked, her voice was hard to read

"I need to get some Light Eco. There's a vent inside the city"

"Fine, I'll be there in twenty minutes"

With that Jak hanged up. A lot of things happened this morning, well actually afternoon since he slept half the day way, Torn's announcement that Daxter was missing and Solrin's visitation... Realizing he was still topless from his sleep he turned and headed for his bedroom.

He entered his room and picked out a cotton shirt from his wardrobe then he went to a chest of draws where he remembered and opened the first draw. He fished around or a box of headache tablets. When he did he took two out and dry swallowed them. They threatened to stick to his dry throat but he forced them down before he replaced the box and then opened another draw to pick up some pants. Once he grabbed a pair he headed for the bathroom. If he remembered and everything was in the right order he hoped he picked out a blue shirt and white pants. He would consult Daxter but he wasn't here at the moment...

Before the shadowy disc swallowed what was left of his sight he rearranged his room and for once he was a tidy man. He usually would chuck clothing everywhere but since he would be blind he cleaned up his act and memorized everything. Even if his vision was blurred he went out and saw some landscape views for the last time, by himself. For the last time he gazed upon the sunset before he was denied to see its beauty ever again. He remembered the orange twinge burning into his eyes and into his mind before his eyesight left him for good.

He turned to the shower, stripped his clothes and entered the small confinement. He let the hot water wash his tiredness, his headache and his worries as he faced the water. He washed the sticky tear residue off his face and shampooed his hair, That's one thing I don't need to see for, he smirked to himself. After he cleaned himself, he dried off and put on the clean clothes he took with him into the bathroom.

Once that was done he went to his room again to put on his boots. Never in his wildest dreams he thought he would miss all these little details in life, all provoked by his sight. Now he didn't have the ability anymore he came to appreciate what he had seen, much more than what he could ever have.

There was knocking on his door. Jak stood up, grabbed his cane and approached the door. He opened it.

"Hey Jak" Ashelin's voice greeted, "Lets go"

Jak came out and took out his keycard then he felt for the slot. Then he slid the card through and the door slid shut and locked with an audible clank. Jak headed for the direction of the stairs and with the cane he descended the flight before reaching the outside.

"This way" Ashelin said out loud to direct him, "That's it, take a few steps and you reach my cruiser"

Ashelin took his elbow as they left the building. Jak was grateful because now he had a little more direction and ground on where to go. Needless to say he was afraid he would do something stupid in front of her, like trip over or do something embarrassing like that. Jak was a proud man and even prouder with those who share the same kindred fighting spirit.

Jak reached the cruiser. Knowing how the cruiser is designed he climbed in. He heard Ashelin climb in on the other side and he heard him switching on the engines.

"We're going up," she announced

Drawing from experience with the panic attack situation with Ashelin before, Jak clung on to the side of the seats to 'ground' himself but he breathed deeply as a precaution.

"Hold on tight"

Then suddenly the vehicle accelerated and the sudden G force pinned him to the chair. Once he was use to it Jak relaxed a bit.

For some reason Jak realized he wasn't interest in fast vehicles anymore. If it was because of the accident or he couldn't see where the hell he was going, he didn't know. All he knew that he couldn't appreciate the breakneck speeds and instead of getting an adrenalin rush he found himself panicky, trying to grip to his surroundings.

All these clues and changes told Jak he was loosing himself, who he was and no matter how hard he tried to hold on to it, it seems to keep slipping through his fingers like sand. After a while, the craft slowed down and descended to a parking height in a space of twenty seconds.

"We're here" Ashelin announced before jumping out

Jak, finding himself a little shaky, climbed out and pulled out his cane. He tapped around the vehicle towards one direction he chose. He could feel people staring at him making his hair on the back of his neck prickle. Was it such a big deal that he was blind?

He felt Ashelin's delicate but firm fingers at his arm once more as the salty water air hit his nose.

"Why do you need Light Eco?" Ashelin asked

Jak didn't want to tell her a farfetched story that Solrin had told him about how his Light Eco power can help him see. Even if he believed part of it, due to the experience, he didn't expect Ashelin to believe it just by her hearing it.

"I need a recharge" Jak told her half of the truth

Ashelin's silence told him she didn't believe his poor excuse. Well if the truth doesn't work then lie...

"Ok so I need to get out of the city for awhile" he lied

"To the Wasteland?" Ashelin asked confused

"I just need to get my head together," Jak said half truthfully

"Is this about Daxter?" Ashelin asked suddenly

I guess everyone would know about Daxter's absence, Jak thought

"Uh, yeah. I guess you could say that..."

Ashelin didn't push it any further. Jak gathered that she thought he needed to deal with Daxter's disappearance because of his blindness. While that was half true, he was going to the Wasteland to restore his Light Eco powers. Jak was feeling more of himself now, since he had a goal to work to. He had something to bring himself up to so he could help out, He didn't have to stay at home all the time and do nothing but listen to the radio and audiotapes. He suddenly felt excited and happy, a far cry to what he was a few days ago. He had to admit this was more for himself than for anyone else but this was his way of trying to get his life back.

Ashelin guided him to the large aircraft and seating him before letting go of his arm.

"Take care" Ashelin replied

"Don't worry I'll be fine" Jak muttered, "It's not like I'm going out on a suicide mission or anything"

Suddenly her hand touched his check and he nearly jumped at it in surprise, "Its not that I'm worried about. I'm worried about you"

Jak grabbed her hand and pulled it away gently, "I'm fine. I will be fine"

"You can't run away forever Jak" she replied

Jak could hear the under current of her tone, You have to face up to this blindness sooner or later

"Yeah I know" Jak shrugged

"I don't want to lose you like I almost lost you in the desert..." she said softly

Ashelin pulled her hand away as Jak faced her not knowing what to say.

"Good luck" she bid farewell before leaving

The door closed and the ship ascended into the sky. After ten minutes the ship finally landed and the door opened. Jak held his hand to the wall for a guide and climbed his way out. As his boots hit the sand, he could feel the wind was fierce and carried sand particles that hit him like tiny needles. He closed his sightless eyes and his mouth to stop sand from making a home in them.

"Jak" he heard a voice call him

Jak turned to it but the picking up of the sandstorm dulled his other senses making him lost in a unknown world. A large hand grabbed his arm and pulled him in a direction. He guessed it was the voice because he was pulled into a seat which he instantly recognised as one of the Wasteland vehicles.

He could feel the other person enter before the engines started and the vehicle thrust forward. Soon he heard a large gate open then the wind suddenly stopped, his ears hurting from the sudden silence. Jak knew they were in the large garage on the edge of the city.

"You pick a bad time to come cherry" Sig's voice scolded

Jak turned to Sig and opened his eyes, his blue eyes stared unknowingly at Sig. Sig's reaction was to look back to meet his gaze but Jak's eyes showed no recognition.

"Sorry, I didn't realize"

"It's fine. Sandstorms are unpredictable" Sig replied, "Lucky I got word that your were coming here or you will be dead because of the storm"

"Thanks" Jak climbed out

"What are you doing here?" Sig asked

"Getting some Light Eco"

"Light Eco?" Sig exclaimed at the unusal request, "What on earth for?"

Jak didn't reply, but he continued forward pulling out his cane to tap his way through but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"I don't know what you're up to cherry but you can't go in there doing that" Sig warned him

"Doing what?"

"Using your cane"

"Why not?" Jak asked

"Weakness has been ironed out by Damas by the Arena and blindness is seen as a weakness here, so fold up that stick and I'll lead you there and back here or to the palace when the sandstorm dies down"

"I don't blame them for seeing it as a weakness. It is a weakness," Jak muttered

"Lets go goldenboy" Sig's tone made no room for argument

Jak sighed and decided to trust Sig on this. He never realized that people here would see blindness as a weakness. His father's survival measures shaped the culture and beliefs of these people. Sig led Jak through the city with verbal directions and careful manoeuvring by Sig's grip on Jak's shoulder. Soon Jak could hear the Light Eco vent.

"Here you go cherry" Sig gently pushed Jak forwards

Jak stepped forward cautiously, experience told him not to trust his memory or practice when walking through places. He would never know what people drop, what new things are there or anything else that might appear there to obstruct him. He suddenly felt lost without his cane.

Jak finally reached the vent and stepped into it. He felt its power flow through his being and he felt charged and ready. He backed out and stood in his spot until Sig grasped his shoulder again and directed him away. Jak felt awkward to rely on Sig for this, he was sure Sig had plenty other things to do than direct a blind man on where to go. But Jak felt this was important to him, finding a way to 'see' again would be worth all that he had to endure, all he had to put others through and all that he had missed because hope was back and in his life.

Jak was determined to beat his disability and he could feel victory was over the hill.

The next day knocking came at his door. Jak opened his eyes from his meditation session and stood up. He let his alter ego go in a spray of flying white embers and headed for the door. He was feeling better after following Solrin's directions and focusing his power into helping him to see. Though he could only 'see' things in this room, he even located where his indoor pot plant was.

He walked to the door and opened it up.

"Hello Jak" a female voice addressed him

"Josan?" Jak asked

"Oh yes, if you've forgotten, you've got a appointment with me today"

"Oh yeah" Jak gave an embarrassed chuckle, "I've been forgetting things lately"

Jak let Josan in before closing the swish door. He heard her enter the adjoining living room and so he followed. He was in a good mood due to his meditation session with Light Eco. But there is always the possibility that good moods can be broken.

"Make yourself at home" Jak offered, "Help yourself to drinks and food. Don't wait for me to get it"

"You seem a lot happier since I last saw you Jak" Josan commented, "Your were much more grumpy and stubborn and that was two days ago"

"Well its one day at a time, isn't it?" Jak asked

"You made the right choice. You always have to continue living no matter what happens" Josan replied

"Yeah..."

"How are your Braille classes?" Josan asked as Jak heard her sit down on the couch

"Um... interesting" Jak muttered

"Do you still think you don't have friends?" Josan asked him

Jak walked over to the couch and eased onto it.

"I learned the hard way that I still got friends and they won't go away because I can't help them any more. You know what they say, you don't know what you got until its gone" Jak let out a small smile of regret as he remembered the argument with Keira and the disappearance of Daxter. He could of done something to improve those situations but instead he was just angry and bitter like when he first came out of prison.

You have let it consume you to the point of turning you bitter and angry and drive everyone away...

Keira still hasn't called back and Jak was beginning to think he really did muck it up this time, with no going back.

"You were pretty stubborn and convinced that you didn't have anyone that would bother to help you. What brought that about?"

Jak sighed, "Yeah, long story"

"Well I am certainly not going anywhere" Josan replied adamant that she was going to remain

Jak frowned, "Maybe later"

"Why not now?"

"I don't want to talk about it" Jak replied

"You don't have to hold it in, you don't have to be this way"

"But I have to, if I don't I'm afraid that I will loose myself and never find me again" Jak said quietly then continued, "Everyday I notice that parts of me, what made me, me, are slipping away. Things I use to love, things I wanted to do, everyday normal things even... I know that I'm loosing myself. I can't stop it and I don't know what to do"

Jak didn't know what came over him. He was never the one to admit anything to anyone let alone his feelings. He felt strangely comfortable and at home with Josan. Maybe because she didn't know him and wouldn't judge him to the person he once was.

"You are not loosing yourself, but you're merely adapting to the situation"

"To adapt I have to give up parts of me" Jak pointed out, "Don't you see?"

"You're afraid of what you will become. Like or not, good or bad you are changing but no one can take away your heart. Life may shape your personality, your interests, your body and your world but it can never take away your heart. From what I understand you are a warrior at heart and nothing will change that. Nothing will deter you from a fight, from a cause and from your purpose. What ever happens your change isn't a sign of weakness but the growth of your heart"

Jak sat there for a moment taking it in. So much he learnt over the past few days that he didn't know what to think or how to act. From what Jak understood, Josan was a sensible as well as a wise lady, compared to Solrin that is wise but weird.

"Are you sure you're not a shrink?" Jak asked

"The proper terminology is psychologist, young man" the old school teacher replied, "And no I am sure I'm not one, though counselling my own children by being a mother counts... well I'm guilty as charged"

"You have kids?" Jak asked, he suddenly realized he knew squat about her

"Sure three of them to be exact. Unfortunately they grew up in the Slums before the war, during the war we were in hiding and afterwards were given housing here in the new buildings. There are no schools at the moments so I teach them myself"

"How old are they?" Jak asked

"Oh 3, 7 and 12"

"Handful"

"Oh yes but bless their little souls, their hearts are as pure as gold. I'm glad my oldest son hasn't fallen into any gangs yet and I'm a little anxious he will since at his age, fitting in is the most important thing at the moment"

Jak felt strangely relieved to hear about someone else's life. For most of his life, his own life was played out for him and he had to constantly live with his own battles, burdens and decisions. He was always caught up in his own world but to hear a reality completely different to his own was a little strange but refreshing.

"What is your favourite food?" Josan suddenly asked

"What?" Jak was caught completely off guard with that question

"What is your favourite food?" Josan repeated

"Um, I don't have one" Jak replied

"Colour?"

Jak shook his head, "I don't have one either. I always wear blue thought... What does this have to do with anything?"

"Any hobbies? Anything that helps you to wind down?" Josan continued

Jak suddenly realized he had nothing. He was so use to fighting for his own way that he had no time for a'normal' life stuff. It was strange now that he was forced into a 'normal' life. He didn't know what to do or how to cope with it. He felt he was stuck between two worlds. He felt like a freak in a different sense as well as at a lost to where he belonged.

"I... I have nothing" Jak said softly

"I know you are having trouble with your transition from being a field soldier to being a homemaker. You're suddenly confined to this home that you find it extremely hard to do anything, but life doesn't end here for you"

"You know what?" Jak told her, "I sometimes wished it did. It would have saved me all the trouble"

"You're a survivor. You told me yourself"

"I don't want to live normally" Jak almost whinged, "I want to be out there do what I've always done! That for me is normal"

"Do you ever think of settling down and having children of your own Jak?" she suddenly asked

"What? Uh..." Jak stammered. Josan's questions seemed to catch Jak off guard.

"Do ever think of teaching them things you've learnt, situations you have experienced and about your travelling stories?"

"No..."

"Life isn't going to always be about saving the world as you told me that was your purpose" she continued, "You're going to grow old, your time here will end in a few decades. Within this short time you have much to accomplish and much to enjoy. While I was growing up things like this didn't appear to me until now. I reflect back on my life and wonder where all these years went, when did I go from a Precurian Astrophysist to a humble primary school teacher?"

"You were a Precurian Astrophysist?" Jak asked in complete surprise

"Oh yes, a difficult subject to understand. Only a few understood how Precurian technologies worked and how to recreate them, but that's not the point. The point is Jak you have a long way to go, much to live and experience. Your loss of sight isn't a hindrance to that but just a new experience. Your life is too important to just throw away. Everyone can see that, why can't you?"

"Because no one knows what it's like to be blind. Everyone I know can see and they don't know that everyday I wake up to darkness, I can't see the sun, I can't see their expressions and I can't even see what I am putting on. I can't go and do a mission, I can't look at people and at stuff, I can't drive, I can't race, I can't even look at myself in the mirror! Everyday its the same thing, everyday for the rest of my life its going to be the same thing. They can enjoy the finer points in life but I can't. I miss out. Tell me, how can this blindness be a new experience? Sometimes I feel its worse than prison..."

"Things like this will make or break a person Jak" Josan softly replied

"Then I'm broken" Jak muttered

"No, you're bent not broken. I believe this has happened to you for a reason" Josan pointed out

"Destiny crap?" Jak snorted, "Please spare me. I make my own destiny, my own future. Just like my father did"

"Then do so" Josan replied

Jak expected to meet some resistance, "Huh?"

"No one is saying you have to live the way you do. You can change your lifestyle, your habits and anything else you want to change. What you lose will be your gain"

"But my blindness..."

"Blindness isn't a disease. There are many with disabilities that have found ways to live and even enjoy their life again. There a many blind people out there, like you, that will have to wait years for anyone to reinvent artificial eyes. There are also many deaf, dumb and crippled people as well that has received each disability due to war. Even children are forced in to these things. What you're experiencing isn't unusual but common for many people. You are not alone"

You are not alone

Four simple words that suddenly made him finally realize that he had been very stupid. The past few days had been a learning curve for him and his reconnection with the people and the world took a new light. It finally got to him that he wasn't alone in this, there were people out there, like him, going through the same experience. His friends may never know what its like but they were always there. They gave him time and space to deal with the problem and he had been a jerk to them. A big fat jerk. He thought they would reject him because of his lost eyesight and so in a way provoked them to do so because he thought he knew it will happen sooner or later and wanted it to happen sooner. But instead they accepted him.

Jak put his head in his hands and sighed. Keira was always there for him and all he did was be rude and nasty to her. She brought him to Josan and eventually to Solrin through that chain. She was there during the accident. He didn't remember much but what she said was true about saving his life then he had much to be sorry for.

"Jak?" Jak could here Josan's worried tone

"Don't worry. I just realized I'm an idiot" Jak sighed

"You are lucky in a way" Josan mentioned

"How?" Jak asked

"That you realized this sooner than later. If this had been realized later then your life will be wasted in bitter, angry and lonely years"

To be continued...

I think Jak has finally learned his mistake. Can he fix up his life again? Can he learn this new ability in time to help out Daxter? Or is it all too late? Get ready for a more exciting chapter as Jak is gonna get back into action. (Yeah!)

La-de-da! La-la-la! Review! Review! Send you Reviews here! La-la-la! Da-da-da-da! Don't like my singing? Ah well lucky its a fanfic and not a songfic (;¬.¬). I know lame joke. I'll tell more if you don't review! (Cue Evil Laugh)