Chapter Eleven: The Race
"Sass, when can I take this blindfold off?"
"Just be patient, Suize; we're almost there."
"What is this about?"
"It's a surprise, Suize!" Scam crowed from the backseat, as he started to a light a banana-flavored cigar, but Sassy abruptly yanked it out of his hand and tossed it out the window.
"Oh no! I'm not allowing myself to be tempted; you can wait until we get out of the car!"
"Sass, I'm not the one who's preggers!" Scam protested.
"Look, Scam," Sassy said as patiently as possible, as she turned the wheel of her car. "I've just gone one week without smoking, so try to give me some support, please!"
"And this from someone that we've been insisting should quit smoking," Handyman, sitting next to Ruthie, who was sitting next to Scam, snickered.
"Be nice," Ruthie scolded him. "We should be proud of Sassy for stopping."
"And for going this long," Suiza added, patting Sassy's arm. "So…hey, guys, where's Bigfoot and Blue?"
"He's bringing the surprise," Scam replied with a grin.
"So before we see this surprise…what have you guys been up to while I was gone?" Suiza wanted to know.
Some chuckles and snickers followed from the backseat and were only silenced by Sassy's menacing glare towards the back.
"Um…is everything okay?" Suiza asked, smoothing her blouse over her now-humanoid torso.
"Everything will be fine," Sassy assured her too easily.
"Oh…I'm sure…um, hey, have any of you guys seen or heard from Oolong lately?"
An abrupt silence followed her question. "Yeah, we've seen him around," Sassy replied finally. "He's doin' okay, really."
"That's good. Teal and his gang hasn't bothered him or you all lately, have they?"
Scam was about to answer, but Sassy shook her head wildly at him. She didn't want Suiza to know of their last encounter with the Rumblers just yet. "We've been fine, no probs," Sassy replied calmly.
Suiza slowly allowed her chin to slide to her chest, and she sighed heavily. She said aloud, more to herself than to her friends, "I really screwed up this one, didn't I?"
"What do you mean?" Sassy asked, as if she didn't already know.
"Oolong and me…I chickened out on him…and myself."
"Suize, c'mon," Scam said, putting his human hand on her human shoulder. "You were just trying to protect him; I'm sure he understands."
"I…just didn't want him to get hurt any more than he already had…I'm tired of Teal trying to dictate how I'm going to live!"
"Then don't let him," Sassy insisted, running her hand through her human auburn hair. "Look, Suize, you've got a restraining order against him now, and we won't let anything happen to you…or Oolong."
"If Oolong's the guy you want, we'll help ya," Scam promised her.
"That's right," Handyman agreed companionably, as he started to open a can of beer. Sassy spotted him through her mirror, just before he succeeded.
"Oh no! You too can wait, Handyman! I'm not getting busted 'cause of the open container laws! That's just what I need: to give birth in jail!"
"You wouldn't actually have to—" Handyman started, but Scam shook his head at him.
Suiza smiled, the first real smile she had shown in a long time. "Thanks, guys; you all are the best! I do miss Oolong…his sense of humor, his honesty, even his numerous potty breaks."
Scam and Handyman chuckled and snickered until Sassy glared at them again.
"Suiza," Sassy told her seriously, "I think the next time you see Oolong…you should tell him the truth and let him see your real self."
Suiza sighed, but another genuine smile showed. "You're right, Sass. I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' while I was at my cousin's. She and I talked…'bout Aunt Louisa…'bout Teal, Oolong, everything. She agreed with you guys: I should have told Oolong the truth from the start. Maybe I should have even told Teal when we first started dating…it might have discouraged us from going any further…and prevented this mess."
"Nah, it's better that Teal never knew about your true form," Sassy told her. "If he had found out and didn't take the news well, things could have become nasty."
"And you guys are telling me to tell Oolong the truth?" Suiza exclaimed in sudden distress.
"Oolong isn't Teal," Handyman reminded her. "Sure he can be a bit wimpy and slow sometimes, but he's not a bad guy. He does love ya and would give up that panty collection that we found out about for ya. We kinda misjudged him, but we like him now—"
"And his friend, Puar! Man, is she one hot kitty!" Scam purred, licking his lips.
Suiza scolded from the front, "And what about Blue?"
Scam sighed. "You're as bad as Sassy! Look, if Blue can see Mr. Sushi, then I can see whomever I want!"
"You're not even trying to win her back," Sassy scolded him.
"I would be, but, in case you've forgotten, I've been helping Oolong—" Scam covered his mouth in horror, as he stopped mid-sentence.
"Helping Oolong do what?" Suiza asked.
"Control his bladder," Handyman cracked, and he and Scam both laughed. The women in the car sighed, as Sassy neared a dusty field to park her aircar.
"Seriously!" Suiza insisted.
"He was serious," Scam insisted, grinning. "We've been supplyin' Oolong with Depends!" He and Handyman laughed again, and Sassy would have thrown something at both of them, if she hadn't had to land her aircar.
"I know somethin's going on here," Suiza said, annoyed. "Will someone tell me what's really going on? Can I finally take this blindfold off?"
"We don't know. Can ya?" Handyman cracked, and he and Scam chuckled.
"That's it; no more beer for you two morons," Sassy scolded, as she finally landed her aircar.
"Hey, how I'm supposed to race Teal with this thing over my eyes?"
"Just relax, will you, Oolong? You'll have it off before the race, I promise."
"I hope so," Oolong, in his Nappa-look-alike form, told Bigfoot worriedly. "I hope that this race will stay under two hours, or else I'm in trouble."
"It shouldn't even last an hour, should it, Bigfoot?" Puar, floating near the blindfolded Oolong, asked.
"I don't think so, Puar," Bigfoot, in his human form, told her, as he guided Oolong along the dusty ground.
"Well, he can keep his shape for two hours now," Blue said smoothly. She then whispered into Bigfoot's ear, "It was more than what we had hoped for."
"So how are you and Mr. Sushi—oh no, I mean Mr. Ching, doing these days?" Oolong asked.
Blue smiled. "He's everything I hoped for."
"Don't you miss Scam?" Bigfoot asked.
"He hasn't exactly tried to win me back, has he, so why should I care?" Blue scoffed. "And everyone please stop calling my new man Mr. Sushi—it was Scam, of course, who came up with that idiotic name. I bet that oaf is jealous!"
"If he is, he must still care for ya," Bigfoot told her.
"Look, Scam and I never dated seriously; everyone knows that. I wouldn't have minded getting serious with him, but he has no ambitions beyond making a quick buck and getting into fights. For once, I'd like a guy who's steady and treats me like a lady."
"Well, if it helps," Oolong told her, "Scam finally got his tattooing license reinstated. He's legit now. He can reopen his tattooing parlor."
"About time!" Blue declared, as she tossed her human blue-black hair.
"He's really not so bad," Oolong told her. "Sure he's a weasel, but—"
"HEY, OOLONG!"
Oolong tried to turn towards the direction of the call, but Bigfoot told him, "Looks like some of your buddies showed up to support you today. I'll let ya take the blindfold off just for a min to look."
Oolong carefully lifted the blindfold from his eyes—and to his shock, saw Master Roshi, Krillin, and Juuhachigou, along with Candy, Umigame, and baby Kane. To his greater shock, he saw Bulma, Chichi, Yamucha, Gohan—and Goku! Oolong's friends were piling out of Bulma's giant Capsule Corp. helicopter.
"We came to see ya give that Teal a taste of his own medicine!" Yamucha called to Oolong, waving.
"Give 'em hell!" Bulma ordered, raising her fist.
"You can do it, Oolong!" Goku cheered.
"Do it for Suiza!" Krillin shouted.
"Do it for both of you!" Juuhachigou added.
Oolong smiled and blushed. He had never believed his friends would care so much about him.
"Hey, why were you wearing a blindfold?" Gohan wanted to know.
"We've got a surprise for him!" Bigfoot called back. "Okay, Oolong, you've seen your pals, now let's put the blindfold back on." He ignored Oolong's groans, as he slid the blindfold over his eyes once more.
While Bigfoot was guiding Oolong again, Yamucha kept his eyes glued on the beautiful Blue, who was wearing a silvery silk dress that blended perfectly with her long hair. "Man, is she a babe," he whispered to Krillin. "I've got to see, if Oolong or Puar can get us hooked up."
He grinned sheepishly towards Blue's direction, and she smirked and winked at him. Yamucha grinned back, and then he whispered to Roshi, "Is she available?"
Before Roshi could answer, Sassy, the blindfolded Suiza, and the rest of the Leathernecks finally reached Oolong and his new friends. Sassy winked and gestured at Bigfoot, who escorted Oolong closer to Suiza. Sassy guided her best friend towards Oolong.
"Okay, now you guys may remove your blindfolds," Sassy instructed with an evil grin.
Suiza slowly peeled her blindfold off of her face, while Oolong eagerly snatched his away.
"SUIZA?"
"OOLONG?"
Hesitantly, Oolong opened his arms, and a stunned Suiza tottered towards him, still not believing her eyes. Shakily, she slid her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, as Oolong scooped her up.
"I've-I've missed you, Ooos," she stammered.
"Sa-same here."
"Whatcha been up to?"
"Well…I…" Oolong started to come up with a plausible answer, feeling bad about having to tell another untruth to the woman he knew he loved.
"Hey, Oolong, getting' awful cozy with my Suiza, aren't ya?"
Everyone turned around and gasped, even though they were expecting this visitor.
"Can it, Teal!" Sassy roared. "We can summon Hercule anytime!"
Beerbell and Hatchet, who were behind Teal, visibly flinched, but Teal shrugged and drew himself up. "We ain't seen him around here lately!"
"Um, T-Teal, maybe it's not so much Hercule that we should worry about now," Hatchet stuttered, pointing in the direction of Oolong's non-Leatherneck friends. Krillin, Juuhachigou, and Yamucha looked at them menacingly with crossed arms.
Beerbell gulped. "T-Teal, man, may-maybe we should just leave Oolong and the others alone from now on, huh? L-let Oolong have Suize. He's got some dangerous friends. First those hired thugs of his, and then Hercule—" He stopped abruptly when Teal cuffed him.
"You can 'just leave Oolong and the others alone', but I'm not done with them! I've got a race to finish. Alright, Oolong, ya better be ready 'cause I ain't goin' easy on ya!"
"Hah," Oolong said as bravely as he could, as he released Suiza. "You better hope that I go easy on you!"
Everyone gasped, and Suiza was afraid for her boyfriend. "Oolong, what you are gonna do?"
Oolong gathered what extra courage he could, as he tried to keep from shaking. He said as calmly as possible, "I'm going to race Teal today—so he'll leave all of us alone once and for all."
Suiza seized Oolong and shook him by his biceps. "What the hell are you thinking?" She then turned to her fellow Leathernecks. "Did you guys know about this the whole time?"
Not one of the Leathernecks dared to say a word, even though Handyman and Scam were trying not to grin.
"Suiza, relax, Oolong's got this under control," Bigfoot assured her all too easily, holding out his hands in an unsuccessful attempt to appease her.
Suiza glared at Teal and shook her fists. "You better play fair this time, you bastard! None of your dirty tricks!"
"Relax, Suiza, baby," Teal promised smoothly. "I won't need them, considering who I'm racin' against! C'mon, boys; let's get my bike revved up." Before he turned to leave with his friends, Teal called to Suiza, "Once this race is over, you're gonna see who's really worthy of ya, and then maybe you'll drop that stupid restraining order! Like you really needed it! I never hit or threatened you!"
"No, you just harassed her and stalked her, not allowin' her to move on without ya!" Sassy hissed.
"She didn't need to move on!" Teal insisted. "She had me!"
"And I don't want you again—ever!" Suiza growled. "No matter who wins today, I will never get back together with you. We are through; we have been for a long time! Move on, Teal!"
Teal smiled and shook his head calmly, as if Suiza didn't know what she was saying. "I will move on—but only over Oolong!" He looked around at his friends, and his buddies laughed and snickered because they knew it was expected of them.
"Oolong," Suiza said softly. "You don't have to do this. You understand? You don't have to prove anything to me."
Oolong's eyes were suspiciously moist. He swallowed hard, and then he leaned towards her and took her chin into his hand. Very gently, he kissed her.
"Yes, I do. And…I have something to prove to myself."
"Well," Roshi told Candy, as he held her and their son close to him. "At least that Harley of ours is being put to good use."
Candy nodded, unusually pensive, as she cradled a sleeping baby Kane close to her heart. She and Roshi watched a young blond girl swish her hips, as she walked towards the middle of the crudely made racing track, unofficially named "Bloodstone Road", which was nothing more, really, than a dirt trail, but right now it was a mud trail because of recent rains. (Bloodstone Road had been dubbed after the former leader of the Rumblers, Har Bloodstone. After Har had been sent to prison for twenty years for burglary and assault, he had turned his leadership over to Teal, his then-second-in-command.)
"Who's that?" she asked.
Yamucha, standing next to her replied, "Some girl named Rhythm; she's a girlfriend of one of Teal's crew."
Rhythm, wrapped in a form-fitting red silk dress, strolled past the four, as she made her way to the field. She smiled and winked at the men, even though Yamucha had been among those who had attacked her gang a while back. Roshi gazed at the girl's curvy figure, nodding approvingly. A tiny pool of drool was forming on the corner of his lip. Of course, he freely viewed the deep cleavage that Rhythm's dress had purposely failed to conceal.
"Oh, yeah…" he murmured too loudly.
Candy smacked his head hard with her free hand. "Can we focus on Oolong instead, please?" she snapped.
"Ow! Oh, yeah, right, sure, of course, Candy, I was just—"
Yamucha shook his head and smiled. "Master Roshi, I wouldn't say anything more, if I were you."
Rhythm was now standing in the middle of the field, waving two red scarves freely in the wind. She announced with surprising confidence in her voice, "I'm sure you all know the rules here. They're very simple: winner just has to make it back here before the other one does—at this finish line."
She nodded towards a line in front of her that had been hastily drawn with still-wet black paint. Both Oolong and Teal were on their motorcycles, with Teal smirking at Oolong, who was doing his best to hide his nervousness.
"See you as road kill!" Teal hooted.
With a shaky grin, Oolong replied in a tone that sounded much braver than he felt, "Better hope you don't race yourself right back to that hospital room!"
Teal stabbed his middle finger towards Oolong, but Oolong merely shrugged.
Rhythm raised her hands holding the scarves into the air. The scarlet scarves danced boldly in the coming wind. With a flourish, they swooped down past Rhythm's waist, like descending birds. "Go!" she yelled.
Within seconds, Teal had sped away from Oolong, leaving him a cloud of debris. Oolong revved his engine, loving the feel of the Harley's leather seat beneath him. He started swiftly after Teal, catching up to him in no time.
The racers, staying within inches of each other, zoomed towards a grove of trees overlooking the "road". "Better hope the wild animals don't decide to have you for dinner, Piggy!" Teal taunted, as he moved just a couple of feet ahead of Oolong.
Oolong ignored him and sped even faster. No more words were spoken between him and Teal. The only sounds that could be heard now were birds singing and the motors purring, as the two racers zipped through the trees. The wind sprinkled red, gold, and still-green leaves at Oolong and Teal, but both of them pressed on.
Suddenly, they rushed out of the woods and came upon a gray stone bridge over a shallow, but wide creek—which was only halfway rebuilt and held an "Under Construction" sign in front of it.
"Wait, Teal!" Oolong cried. "We can't go here!"
"Maybe you can't, but I can! See ya at the finish line, Piggy!"
And Teal and his motorcycle crashed through the "Under Construction" sign, breaking it into white and black fragments and boards. Teal's motorcycle whooshed up the intact part of the bridge and too easily flew over the creek and landed on the other side with the grace of a panther.
Oolong furrowed his brow. "Well, if he can do it, so can I!" And with that, Oolong sped over the same unfinished bridge. He chucked triumphantly, as he and his bike sailed over the creek.
But when he landed on the other side, he took a spill, toppling over on his side and plopping straight into a mud puddle! His knee scraped against a rock in the puddle.
"OW!" he wailed, as he struggled to his feet. He knew pigs were supposed to like mud, but he shook and brushed off as much of the offending muck as possible. He rubbed his sore elbow and knee. A hole encircled his knee on his leather pants. He tottered over to his bike and turned off the engine, so there would be no further damage.
Then he remembered Teal. "I've got to get back on!" he cried, as he pushed his still-running bike up out of the mud. Hastily, he climbed back on and started the engine once more. The motorcycle, thankfully, suffered no permanent damage and zoomed away, spitting from behind a shower of mud and gravel.
"Catching up a bit late, aren't ya, Piggy?" Teal taunted.
Oolong gasped in horror, as he realized that Teal was right. He and Teal could both see the finish line, nearly two hundred yards away. And Teal was still way ahead of him.
Oolong had been speeding at ninety-miles an hour, but he decided to go up to the speedometer's limit—one-hundred-and-forty miles per hour!
"Haha, Piggy!" Teal boasted, looking back for only a second to gloat. "Hope that kiss you gave my woman was your kiss goodbye!"
"Don't count on it!" Oolong growled, as he quickly caught up to Teal. They were both at full speed on their bikes, and now they were nose-to-nose.
Teal snarled at Oolong and pressed the pedal of his motorcycle even deeper. "Ya ain't winnin, Piggy!"
"I'm not letting you hurt Suiza and my friends any more!" Oolong cried, as he pushed harder on his pedal.
Two little black boys were laughing and chasing a golden retriever, who had been playing in the creek earlier. Suddenly, a rabbit leapt out of the bush and darted past the boys and dog. The dog panted excited and dashed after the rabbit.
"No, Goldie, come back!" the older of the two boys screamed. "C'mon, Jimmy!"
"Come back, Goldie!" Jimmy cried, as he chased after his companion and Goldie.
The finish line was only twenty feet away.
Oolong and Teal were still speeding at the same pace, with neither racer gaining an advantage over the other. Teal cursed loudly, deep down fearing there might actually be a tie between him and "Piggy".
Oolong was breathing heavily, and his arms started to ache, but he refused to slow down his pace. He couldn't let Teal even gain an inch past him; the finish line was too close.
He could hear the cheers of everyone, the Rumblers rooting for Teal, but maligning him, and his own friends crying for his victory. He could see Suiza up ahead, thrusting her fists into the air and shrieking his name. Her blond mane whipped wildly about her, as if it were a cloak.
He bore down on his bike, determined to get the lead on Teal. He had to win; he had no choice.
His eyes were on the finish line—and on Suiza.
He could only, would only see Suiza and the finish line, but soon, he saw something else.
A gray rabbit, frantically running away from the eager golden retriever chasing it, was skipping directly into the path of Teal and Oolong. The dog pounced at it, but the rabbit dodged it and continued to outrun its pursuer.
And two little black boys, dressed in jeans and plaid shirts, were screaming in fear for the dog's life. The older of the boys stopped and waved at Teal and Oolong. The golden retriever was still in Teal and Oolong's way.
"Stop, please!" both boys cried. "Don't hit Goldie!"
Teal flicked his middle finger at both of them and continued to speed, but Oolong slammed his foot on the brake—which at a hundred-and-forty-miles an hour would prove a huge mistake.
The motorcycle skidded to an abrupt stop, but because the trail was muddy, it started to slide, and when the front wheel hit a rock, the entire motorcycle fell over to the side.
As the bike fell, Oolong was hurled from his seat, and his body soared through the wind.
"HELP!"
He decided to change into a bird, but it was already too late, for before he could begin his transformation, his head crashed into a nearby tree trunk. His forehead smashed into the bark, and after seeing darkness, he felt his body slide down, and he saw no more.
Goldie and the rabbit escaped with no harm.
Teal just kept on driving.