(Four)
Remy wasn't the only one with a nap on his mind. Logan lay warm and comfortable in her bed, in Karen's bed. They had pulled all the blinds closed, blocking out the light and it was sleepy and blissful here. He thought his lover was asleep, she had seemed quiet enough. He had his arms around her and was resting easy, just smelling her all around him. He closed his eyes and breathed softly into the dark of the room, "Marry me."
"I want kids," she replied, startling him. He had no idea she was still awake. "I want your kids."
He paused, uncertain of what to say. He knew his answer already, he just wasn't good with words. He thought back briefly on all the women he had lost in his life. It was their faces that had kept him shy of commitment for so long. He missed them, especially Mariko, the Japanese woman he had loved for a time. She had been taken from him violently and he still felt the loss, but he knew it was time to move on. To have this precious woman so close, it would be a crime to let her slip away, especially now. He smiled, letting go with all of his fears. "All right. Have my kids."
"Then, yes. I'll marry you."
"Hmm...how many kids you talkin' 'bout?" Logan asked dreamily, his eyes fluttering shut.
"How about we just start with the one that's just begun and take it from there," she replied, taking his hands and running them down around her belly.
He snorted laughter in her hair. "When were ya gonna tell me?"
"When I was certain. I just found out for sure this morning."
"You didn't want me to ask ya ta marry me you if I already knew."
She sighed softly. "That's part of it. I want you freely or not at all."
He squeezed her tightly, spooning himself around her. "You been pregnant fer two weeks now. It didn't stop me from askin'. It ain't the reason why, either. I love ya, girl. I always will."
She gave him a squeeze in return, her relief powerful enough to be felt by the man holding her. She'd had no idea what his response was going to be. She thought he might try to make an honest woman of her, but she didn't want it if his heart wasn't there for her. She brought his hand to her lips for a kiss, a return of sentiment, and teased, "So? You knew I was pregnant before I did?"
"Mm hmm. Can't hide nuthin' from this sniffer," he replied with a amused grunt.
"Let's do it now. Let's get married here at the house."
"No patience, huh?"
"Gotta pin you down while you're still willing," she teased, holding him tight.
He grumbled happily in her ear. "All right."
The wedding was held at the Mansion and all the members of the X-men were invited. Karen didn't mind not having a church wedding so a Justice of the Peace was called in for the ceremony. Large party tents were set up outside on the grounds and the ceremony was held next to the house by the oak tree, one of Karen and Logan's favorite spots. The whole thing was catered by the students from the school and everyone had a blast. Other than the Justice of the Peace, no outsiders were involved.
It was done discreetly, but some precautions were taken against any unwanted partycrashers. The bounty on Kimble and Angel was still active so no one was taking any chances. It didn't seem likely that an attack would take place with so many alpha mutants in one place but with Jael one never knew. No one was allowed in without an invitation and some of the guests were actually on a rotating patrol just to be careful. It was decided that Kimble would be allowed to attend the ceremony, the sentiment being that he was best kept in sight than out.
The ceremony was kept small. Charles was Logan's best man and Karen's parents were there to give her away. The wedding party was kept to a few bridesmaids — Jean, Molly and Storm. The guests were kept casually dressed, there were outdoor games set up and a barbeque even though it was early in the year. This was a party more than a formal affair. Other than the bride and groom, no one was expected to dress up or wear their uniforms.
The ceremony was brief and lovely. Karen wore her mother's white wedding dress, while Logan dressed up in a tux vest and nice pants with a fresh white T-shirt. He had a phobia of suits, they made him itch. He had considered just wearing a nice leather jacket and polished motorcycle boots, but he was voted down vigorously. The vest was a compromise. He looked handsome enough without the suit jacket and tie, it was obvious in the look of utter bliss from his bride.
During the ceremony, a Siskan fidgeted in confusion. Seth stood next to Fallen, a strange look on his face.
"What?" she prodded gently.
"Are we married like them?"
"In our hearts, yes."
"If you're my Mistress...does that make Karen Logan's Mistress, too?"
"I suppose so. I'm not sure either one really owns the other. They are equals."
Seth mulled this over, trying to wrap his brain around it.
"What?" Fallen asked again. She was still smiling at him.
"I don't want you to be anything other than my Mistress. I like us just the way we are."
Fallen's smile grew wider and she embraced him, giving him a kiss. She knew that they were being watched, but didn't care. This was a wedding after all, a time where most folks think about the love in their lives. "Nothing between us has changed, my love. You will always be my Seth. There will never be anyone else."
Kimble was nearby, watching them embrace and touch each other with such love and affection. He did his best to smile in order to try and cover the pang of jealousy he felt. He didn't want either one for himself, what he desired was a significant other. He wanted to feel that love again, that strong sense of belonging to someone else. He missed his Kristalay badly then, longing for the sound of that magnificent heartbeat thundering in his ears. It had been so long since he had been in the arms of a lover.
He still felt lost in the love department. He had his Angel, but even her bright love would never be the same as one that came with the physical intimacy of making love. There were times lately when he wondered if he would ever be touched that way again. This past year had been brutal on his heart. We's still dangerous, he said in his own voice, thinking tiny Lin's thoughts in his own mind. We'll never be good enough fer another Master. Not one fer real. Remy don't count, he never will. It's Molly he really wants, not us. We's gonna be alone ferever.
Kimble startled when he felt Remy gently brush his hand with his own. You okay? the unspoken question. Remy had heard Shi'ow-ri speak of Kimble's pain the moment the Siskan's vibration of worry touched him.
The pilot just smiled at him and returned his attention to the ceremony, hoping to take his mind off of his loss. He was better, he truly was, but that didn't mean he didn't still feel pain. His mind was quiet, yet he often felt the thoughts of the others – Lin's fear of big places, of hurting others, 'Shay's self loathing. Zander's strength held him up, keeping him from sinking too low. He was mostly complete, but pieces of him were still missing. He still wanted to be owned, to be used, but was afraid. He was at times filled with an uncontrollable terror that he would kill again. It was these times that he hid away someplace small until the tremors passed.
Remy leaned in close. "You wiggin' out on me, cher?"
Kimble couldn't help but smile. "I'm all right. I just... I just miss bein' kissed like that."
"Gotta 'ave some patience. You ain't gonna be alone fo'ever."
The Siskan lowered his eyes. "I knows, it's just hard."
"Just relax an' 'ave a good time. Enjoy dis time you out. You don' come out enough. We gonna eat some food, drink some beer. Gonna wipe dat frown right off yo' face."
A short time later, Gambit sat at a table under one of the large party tents, watching the partygoers walk about having fun. He was tipped back comfortably in his plastic lawn chair, balancing himself with his feet. He had Angel up against his chest, petting her with one hand while he toyed with an empty beer bottle with the other. He knew Henry would probably get on him for drinking, but for now he was much too content to care. He looked up when something caught his eye.
Kimble had left him only a moment before, saying he was going for another beer. He had done so, but had now gotten a little sidetracked. He was standing off to the right with two bottles of beer in his hands, one for himself and another for Remy, but all he saw was Neal. Neal Sharra was decked out in a bright black tux and was as gorgeous as any X-man could be. He had his back to the pilot, blissfully unaware he was being quietly stalked while he joked and partied around with some of the guests, strangers who didn't know Kimble for who or what he was. They didn't know what was on Kimble's mind. Kimble's eyes were hungry as he watched Neal's every move, giving away his intentions to someone in the know.
"Yo! Kimble! Dis way, s'il vous plait!" Remy shouted, being overly loud on purpose.
Neal stopped chatting and turned abruptly, giving Kimble a strange look. He wasn't sure what was going on, but Kimble just standing there so awkwardly was making him nervous. His body gave off a vibration of defensive caution the pilot could feel, he wasn't going to give Kimble what he wanted.
Kimble put his head down in shame for drawing attention to himself. He set the beer bottles down on the nearest table and left the tent in a rush. Remy sighed impatiently and rose, grateful when slender white hands reached out for the baby without having to be asked. Seth was there beside him, ready to take her.
Remy walked out of the tent quickly, trying to catch up with his wayward Siskan. He saw Kimble take flight, hopping up to the roof and to the widow's peak. Remy cursed his own inability to fly, it would take him a while to travel through the house. He decided to take a shortcut via the ivy on the east side. He was nimble enough for the task and there weren't any people over there to catch him crawling up the side of the house like a monkey. A bit of huffing and puffing later, he scrambled up to the widow's peak, only to find Kimble curled up in one the corners, his head down.
"What's goin' on, Kim?"
"I wants plasma," he replied softly, tucking his trembling hands under his arms and curling up tighter. He was still crabby and irritable from feeling so down during the wedding ceremony. He hadn't recovered his good humor. "It ain't fair!"
"It 'urts you."
"I don't care! I wants it!" Kimble snarled, a look of terrible cruelty crossing his face. An expression of Lakotashay's that Remy was all too familiar with.
" 'Ave some Ristle," Gambit offered, hoping to just calm Kimble down before he freaked out or something. Kimble had been so good lately, he hated to see his Siskan like this.
Kimble snorted bitterly and turned away, clearly not interested.
"You take in de sun. You gettin' all de plasma you need."
"It don't makes me high. It ain't the same."
Gambit sighed and sat down next to his buddy, laying an arm across Kimble's shoulders. He could feel how tense Kimble was, he was bunched up tight and gritting his teeth as though he was in pain. "You gotta get over dis, cher. Dis ain't about you, dis about Angel. You can't take good care of 'er if you high all de time."
"It hurts!" Kimble sobbed, angry tears spilling out of his eyes. "Why cain't I have it!"
"Kimble -"
"No! Just shut up!" Kimble snarled, rising. His legs were shaking a bit, having Neal so close like that had been a temptation hard to overcome. "I done evrathin' yous guys asked me to! I been good! I stays in the small spaces! I should have plasma if I wants it!"
Remy chuckled softly and leaned against the wall, stretching his legs out. He wasn't exactly upset at Kimble's response. Yes, the Siskan was being a baby about his addiction, but he was also rebelling against the rules. This was a normal Kimble trait and a sign the Siskan was sincerely on the mend. Gambit reached into a pocket and slid out a cigarette, lighting it arrogantly and letting Kimble continue to rant.
Kimble paced, his wings high and tight. "I understands that I done wrong. The killin' and hurtin'. It wuz 'Shay an' not me, but I gots ta take responsibility fer that. I done it. You kin locks me up ferever, I gots no say in that. But I gots a right ta charge!"
"Ain't nobody keepin' you from chargin'," Remy replied, unable to stop to the smile spreading across his face. He was enjoying this, watching Kimble acting strong instead of being so passive all the time.
"I wants plasma!"
"Non."
Kimble whirled, turning on his heels. "You gots no right!"
"Gambit's got every right, homme. De plasma bad fo' you. As yo'Master, Gambit 'as every right to deny you. To give in would be me not doin' my job, comprenez?"
"Plasma is bad fer me only if I gits too much. I kin takes just a little. C'mon, please!"
Remy rose to stand next to his friend. "Non, Kimble. It an addiction. You get a little, you just gonna want more. You 'ave to stop cold, it's de only way. Tell you what, we make a deal. We do dis together. You quit t'inkin' 'bout plasma like you do and Gambit will quit smokin'. It all de same. One addiction fo' another. 'Ow's dat, eh? We suffer together."
Kimble sniffed and wiped his eyes. "You'd do that fer me?"
"Of course. Gambit gonna be insulted you even gotta ask sumptin' like dat," Remy said, crushing out his cigarette butt with his foot to show he was serious.
Kimble lowered his eyes again. "Sorry."
"C'est bien, cher. We gonna look after each other, you an' me."
"I loves you," Kimble said, letting out his frustration with a sigh. He was calmer now, back in control. He smiled as his Master came closer to hook an arm around him playfully.
"Gambit loves you, too. Now, 'ow about we go back down an' 'ave another beer b'fore Logan drinks it all, eh?"
"All right," Kimble replied, trying to perk up a little. He liked to drink, the beer mellowed him out and he really needed that right now. He stood behind Remy and carefully scooped up his friend under the arms, showing off a little as he launched them from the roof.
At first Gambit was a bit nervous being flown, but he could soon see that Leon's reports of Kimble's training had been precise. Kimble was a good flyer, graceful and confident in the air. He could feel Kimble's power holding him steady, he had no fear of falling. They set down next to the tent and strolled back in as though nothing had happened, but Gambit was sure to steer his Siskan clear of Neal as they made their way back to the table. Kimble retrieved the two bottles of beer he had left behind and they drank them down, settling back into their usual routine of good times and fine talk.
Behind them some distance away, Rogue stood watching. She noted how Remy had left and then returned with a much happier Kimble. She saw how they sat and acted so normal, but she knew better. There was a shine in Remy's eyes as he looked on his Siskan, one that he used to have for her. He was up to his old tricks again to be sure. He had made it clear he was moving onto Molly, but he was still playing games. He was trying to make Molly jealous with Kimble, that was it, she reasoned. Just like he had done for her. She could see Molly watching them with an unreadable look on her face, her eyes on Gambit.
Rogue stiffened when Gambit suddenly turned and looked at her, his expression one of calm curiosity. It was if he had sensed her looking him over in spite of the distance between them and he had liked it. Yes, there was that smug smile again, the one he had whenever he had thought he had won the argument. This was a familiar game, one she had played with him often. She tossed her head at him, making pretty, and retreated, certain he would follow her out to somewhere more private. She made her way to the oak tree and waited... and waited... and waited.
Perplexed that she hadn't lured him out, she returned to the tent only to see that not only hadn't he followed her out, he now had Molly on his lap, one arm around her to keep her steady, almost in an intimate embrace. Molly was laughing, teasing Kimble about something and making the Siskan giggle just like the pathetic child he was.
Her face now flushed with fury, Rogue spun and walked back out, never seeing Remy's head snap in her direction once more. As a master player, he had been fully aware of her game and he had done his best to show it was over now between them, over for good. He had read her vibrations and felt her pain, but he had needed to do this for her sake. He couldn't go after her, no matter how upset she was. He had to made clear he would never follow her out again. His next lover was sitting at this table, his choice had already been made. A choice that didn't include her.