Chapter 22
"Are you sure about this?" Buffy questions worriedly, watching as Tara finishes the cleansing spell.
The two women had quickly gotten cleaned up before walking to the Magic Box, gathering the items Tara needed before working their way to the hospital. Buffy explained Tara away as being a cousin of Faith's, having just found out what happened to the girl. Tara quietly explained to the nurses that her religious beliefs required quiet for the next 4-5 hours, as she prayed over Faith. Buffy had to bite her lip to keep from chuckling at the explanation that was, in a round about way, exactly the truth.
Tara glances over at Buffy, smiling gently. "It's okay, sweetie." Glancing back down at the dark-haired slayer, Tara sighs. "So much pain and anger inside her."
Buffy watches as Tara pulls a chair right up against the bed, biting her lip, she accepts the small braided cloth Tara prepared right before she did the cleansing spell. "I just need to catch the end on fire, then wave the smoke around you?"
"You don't even have to do it around me, just wave it in front of my face, when I inhale it, it'll trigger me to come back to my body." Tara explains softly. "Please remember, wait at least until 6:00 before doing it." Tara looks over at the clock, seeing it's already almost 2:00. "Give me all the time you can. That would only give me four hours, but I don't want to push it with the nurses."
"I'll make sure they leave you alone." Buffy tucks the cloth in her front pocket watching as Tara places a spare pillow on the chair before climbing on top of it, crossing her legs in a lotus position.
"Come here, sweetie." Tara looks at her nervous lover, smiling. Watching as Buffy walks towards her, she reaches up to grasp Buffy's jacket, pulling her down to kiss her firmly. "I love you." Tara smiles reassuringly at Buffy. "I'll be okay."
Buffy smiles back, before walking to the other side of the room, leaning against the wall by the door, watching as Tara reaches up, placing a soft hand on Faith's temple while placing the other over her stomach. Listening as Tara calmly starts chanting in some foreign tongue, Buffy crosses her arms over her chest, getting comfortable to wait for her lover.
As Tara works herself deeper, searching for a thread of Faith's essence, she wonders what could have happened in the woman's life to have caused her the amount of pain she sees flaring from the woman. Seeing a weak light, realizing this is what's left of Faith, Tara reaches for it.
Tara projects her body within Faith, hoping the woman 'seeing' another person might be better for her than just the invasive light that is her essence. Tara takes a mental deep breath, while gently caressing over the dark slayer's essence, sending her calming influence and strength into the fading woman. "Faith, please. If you realize I'm here, I want you to know I'm here to help you. Concentrate on me, let my strength help you. When you feel stronger, if you can imagine yourself here in front of me, I would like to…talk to you, for lack of better words." Tara smiles softly, reaching deep within herself, tapping the deep store of energy that she has only tapped twice before in her life. Sending her strength and healing energy into the light, Tara sends a thin, but steady stream into Faith. Being careful not to overload the woman, Tara waits patiently.
Faith's psyche feels the intruder within her. Feeling the strength and calmness, Faith frowns, not knowing what to think of what the person is doing. Cautiously flowing towards the bright light, that's trying to strengthen her, She tilts her head as she 'hears' the woman stating she wants to help her. Feeling only goodness and caring coming from the source, Faith calls out. "Why?" While trying to do as the woman said, trying to picture herself in front of the woman.
Tara sighs in relief as she feels Faith reaching for her, calling to her. "Why do I want to talk with you?"
"Yeah. And why would you wanna help me?" Faith gradually follows the strong light, growing closer.
"Because there are people that care about you. That want to help you, whether you believe it or not. I'm hoping to earn your friendship and possibly trust." Tara calls softly, watching as Faith's essence slowly strengthens.
Faith feels the urge to fight and argue against what the woman's saying, but another part of her, her heart, is telling her the woman is wanting to help her. "Why should I believe ya'?"
"You shouldn't." Tara admits quietly, surprised as Faith materializes in front of her. "You don't know me, you don't know who or what I am. I would suggest you wait and see if I'm someone you can trust."
Faith narrows her gaze on the woman in front of her, tilting her head, she considers the woman. "There's something about you that almost seems familiar."
Tara nods her head in realization that Faith is a lot smarter and more observant than what Buffy had explained. Not to fault her lover, Tara has a feeling Faith prefers people to believe that. "I'm only here for a short period of time. What you feel, that's familiar, is probably Buffy's mark." Tara explains softly, watching Faith for a reaction.
Faith backs away from the woman, snarling her nose in disgust. "Buffy? What do you mean, her mark?"
Tara wonders how to explain it, before just blurting it out. "I'm just going to say it. If you can't get past this, I won't ever be able to help you. I'm Buffy's mate. Buffy and her slayer half both decided they love me. If you tap into the slayer portion of you, you'll know I speak the truth." Tara explains softly. "She's the reason I'm here, Faith."
Faith turns her back on the woman, shaking uncontrollably at the thought of Buffy. "What, she sent you here to finish me off?" Faith clenches her hands in anger.
"No." Tara sends her calming influence to the angry slayer. "She wants you to get well, Faith."
"Yeah, so she can send me to jail, or let the fuckin' council finish the job." Faith snarls.
Tara feels a deep sadness well up inside her, at the dark slayer's words. "No, Faith. That isn't it. She wants you well, she wants to give you a second chance at life. You two really need to talk." Tara admits. "It isn't something that I can make right, or really explain. I can tell you that she feels guilty for the way she treated you, and wishes she could do everything over."
Faith hears the truth in the woman's words. "Who are you?" Faith turns to look at Tara, deciding to think about Buffy later.
"I'm sorry." Tara smiles apologetically at Faith. "My names Tara, Tara Maclay." Concentrating, Tara makes herself more solid within Faith's psyche, gently reaching out with her hand. "If you concentrate, you can almost take flesh." Tara offers quietly watching Faith, while still holding her hand out expectantly.
Faith looks from the warm blue eyes down to the hand stretched towards her. Clenching her jaw, not knowing what to do, Faith shakes her head. "No. I don't think so." Faith steps back away from the offered touch.
Nodding her head in acceptance, Tara drops her hand back to her side.
Faith watches the sad, hurt expression cross the woman's face before the look disappears. "Why are YOU here to help me?"
"Because I'm the only one that can do this, plus I know the deep heartache Buffy has in regards to you." Tara explains. "Faith, I don't know what's happened to you in the past, but you need a friend." Tara closes her eyes, thinking heavily before whispering. "In a way, I see a kindred spirit in you, Faith." Tara admits opening her eyes to look in the dark angry eyes of the dark slayer. "I see a spirit that was abused. My father and brother beat me for as long as I can remember. I've had multiple broken bones, been put in the hospital, even misjudged a broken beer bottle and got my ribs cut and punctured by it." Tara doesn't explain that it had punctured her lung.
Faith listens as Tara calmly explains about her past, unconsciously flinching when she mentions the beer bottle. "Yeah, well, shit happens." Faith mutters.
Tara nods her head, not smiling as she sees the slight softening of the slayer's angry essence. "Yes it does." Tara admits. "But, if you're willing, I would like to visit with you again."
"You wanna visit me?" Faith looks up, surprise evident on her face.
"Yes, Faith. I do." Tara keeps eye contact with the dark slayer. "And if you want, I would be willing to talk with you about anything you want. I never had a friend before, and given the chance I think you would make a wonderful friend." Tara softly whispers.
Faith crosses her arms across her chest, not knowing what to say.
"Would you like me to come and visit you again?" Tara questions quietly. "It will be hard for me to come here during the week because of school, but I can come on the weekends."
Faith's arms drop down in surprise. "You would spend your weekends coming to see me?"
"Yes." Tara doesn't push, realizing that things are going good and not wanting to chance screwing things up.
Faith glances around. Finally making contact with the calm blue eyes watching her, she shrugs. "Do what you want. Can't stop you no-how."
"I'll be back tomorrow." Tara watches as Faith slowly starts to fade as she stops concentrating on making herself be a form.
"Tomorrow." Faith let's a small grin come across her face, before heading back to her center.
Gently easing off on the flow of energy she has continuously been sending into Faith, Tara finally turns it off before releasing her grip on the slayer's essence, watching as it pulses and is a lot stronger than it was before. Starting the chant to send her back to herself, Tara allows a smile to cross her face as she fades away.
Buffy unconsciously chews on the side of her thumb nail as she stands there watching her lover and Faith intently. Looking towards the door as she catches a movement out of the corner of her eye, she smiles, waving Xander in.
"How's it going?" Xander questions quietly looking towards Faith and Tara.
"Good, I guess." Buffy shrugs her shoulders as she jams her hands in her jeans pockets. Looking up at the clock in the room, Buffy sighs. "She's been there for three hours."
Xander nods his head looking from Faith to Tara and back again, before tilting his head. "Buffy?" Xander questions a worried note in his voice.
Buffy unconsciously stiffens at the note in Xander's voice. "What?" She hisses, pulling the cloth from her pocket.
"Is that a smile on Faith's face?" Xander glances towards Buffy, surprise evident in his look.
Buffy swallows as she looks towards Faith, seeing the small quirk of the slayer's lips. Glancing up to the feedback on Faith's monitor, she notices more activity than normal. Quickly striding over to the machine, she picks up the tape looking back over the readings, noticing that it had picked up. Turning to look back towards Faith, Buffy comes to stand beside Tara, looking at Faith.
"I think it is." Buffy admits, smiling up at Xander. Turning back to look at Tara, she sighs in relief as she sees her lover's fingers twitch before Tara slowly opens her eyes. "Everything okay?" Buffy questions quietly, grinning hugely as she sees her lover's blue eyes looking towards her with love shining in their depths.
"I'm fine." Tara stretches her body, moaning as the muscles that haven't been shifted for over three hours groan in protest. Easing her legs down onto the floor, she stands, hugging the slayer to her tightly. "I got a start. She hasn't really opened up to me yet, but given time…" Tara trails off smiling as she notices Xander. "Hi, Xander!"
"She didn't try to hurt you, obviously, so that's a good thing." Buffy keeps Tara against her, burying her face in the witch's neck. "I love you."
"I love you too, sweetie." Tara closes her eyes, breathing a huge sigh of relief. "I did tell her I'd come to visit her on the weekends, if she was okay with it."
"And?" Xander questions slowly walking towards the dark haired slayer.
"She basically told me she couldn't stop me." Tara smirks to herself, running her hands up and down Buffy's back. "It's going to take time. Hopefully she'll come to trust me the more I come to visit."
Buffy nods her head in agreement, before gently pulling back a short distance to look at her lover. "This is going to cut into our weekend lovings, isn't it?" Buffy jokes, her lip quirking up. "I guess I can't complain if it helps her." Buffy admits turning to look at Faith. "She smiled right before you came back."
Tara turns to look at Faith, seeing the slight difference in her facial expression. Smiling softly, Tara sends her senses out, reading Faith's aura, noticing just the slightest bit of calmness working through it. Feeling a little better seeing that, she wraps her arms around Buffy's waist, pressing into the slayer's strong back while hooking her chin over her lover's shoulder.
"Xander, can you maybe talk to her, or hold her hand? Whatever it is that you usually do when you come here?" Tara questions the young man softly.
Xander looks down embarrassed, before nodding. "You aren't allowed to make fun of me." He mutters glancing back up at Buffy and Tara. "Okay?"
"I won't." Tara admits readily, smiling encouragingly at him.
"I guess I won't either." Buffy sighs exaggeratedly before smiling softly at Xander.
Xander eases down, resting his hip beside the slayer on the bed, grasping one hand in his larger hand, stroking his thumb gently over the slayer's hand. Reaching up with his other hand, he strokes through the dark brown locks of the slayer.
Tara watches the young man curiously for a few moments, before glancing back towards Faith, watching her aura. Noticing as Xander starts talking, the conflicting colors almost literally battling against each other. Seeing that part of Faith cares for the young man, while another part, the angry, hating part, battles against the caring section, trying to beat it back. Realizing this is Faith in a nutshell, Tara sighs quietly.
"What do you see?" Buffy whispers, tilting her head back so she whispers in her lover's ear.
"About what I expected." Tara admits. "Faith is literally fighting against herself. Part of her cares, while the other part is angry and hateful."
Buffy accepts the witch's words, while leaning her body against her lover's more firmly, purring quietly as she relaxes into her lover's arms.
"Do you want to stay, Xander?" Tara questions softly as the young man stops speaking, just calmly stroking the slayer's hair.
"Yeah, for a little while." Xander doesn't glance towards Tara or Buffy, but continues to softly caress the slayer's hair, while clasping her hand gently in his other hand.
Tara slowly releases the slayer, before turning to leave Xander and Faith alone, stumbling briefly.
"Whoa!" Buffy calls out, grasping Tara. "What's wrong?" Buffy questions holding Tara to her.
Xander turns worried eyes to Tara at Buffy's words.
"Sorry, just dug a little deeper into my stores of energy to help Faith, than I realized." Tara smiles at Buffy. "It just kind of tired me out." Tara admits, stroking a hand over Buffy's cheek as she sees the worried look in her lover's eyes. "I'm okay. Nothing a good meal, a nap and a little meditation won't cure."
"If you're sure." Buffy searches Tara's eyes, finally relaxing as she watches Tara nod her head smiling gently at her.
"That's all it is, sweetie. Kind of like doing an all-night cram session for a test." Tara chuckles at her lover. "Take me home, and put me to bed." Tara wiggles her eyebrows grinning at Buffy.
"Oh, that I can definitely do." Buffy grins back at Tara.
"Will you two please go?" Xander whimpers before turning to look back at Faith. "Faith, come back to me, you hear what I have to put up with? I could use your sarcastic remarks to take my mind off those two!"
"Xander!" Buffy hisses at the young man. "I don't know if Tara's told her…"
"Shhh." Tara places a gentle finger over Buffy's lips, watching Faith's aura curiously as the caring comes through stronger, beating back the anger and pain. "Yes, Faith. You need to come and help keep Xander from getting quite so many bruised shins. Of course, the poor guy can't help it. We're always making comments that gets him in trouble." Tara chuckles watching a little of the hate and anger recede from the slayer's aura. Nodding her head, she grins at Xander. "She knows about us, Xander. Her slayer half felt Buffy's mark."
Buffy stiffens before turning her gaze on her lover. "Felt my mark? How could she feel it? I mean, yeah you got the spot on your neck, but…?"
Tara smiles softly at Buffy. "Sweetie, you marked my soul with your love. We're a part of each other, no matter how you look at it."
Buffy frowns deeply. "Did you know she would be able to feel it?"
"Not really." Tara shakes her head. "While I was in there, she made the comment that there was something about me that seemed familiar. I took a chance and told her the truth." As Buffy growls deeply, a hint of anger coming into her eyes, Tara looks deeply into her lover's eyes. "Nothing happened, sweetie. She's angry at the world in general and you guys, I'm sure for differing reasons. She isn't angry at me in particular. She didn't lash out at me in any way. She needs a friend, and she saw the truth in my eyes."
"You're going to continue to do things to tick me off, aren't you?" Buffy grumbles loudly, looking into her lover's blue eyes.
"Probably." Tara admits. Sighing quietly, Tara glances from her lover towards Faith, unaware she still had her senses open to the dark slayer. Frowning at the strong sense of worry coming from the woman, Tara grasps Buffy arm gently. "Wait before you say anything else." Tara softly murmurs into Buffy's ear, before walking towards Faith.
Leaning against the bed, Tara reaches out to stroke a finger over Faith's forehead, easing the small frown creasing it. "It's okay, Faith. She can't help but worry for me. She loves me. She isn't really angry at me per se, but at what she perceives as my possibly being hurt."
Buffy watches Tara before glancing at Faith, noticing for the first time the tense look to Faith's features, watching as they slowly relax at Tara's words and her soft caresses. Taking a chance, Buffy eases up beside Tara, wrapping her arm around her waist. "I will never hurt her, Faith. Yes, we'll argue and probably get angry with one another. But we'll talk about it until we come to an understanding." Buffy smiles as she feels the encouraging squeeze from Tara's arm. "That's what friends and loved ones do, talk about things. Given time, we all can forgive anything, especially if we're willing to change. I hope you give me a chance to put right some of the wrongs I've done. We'll come back and visit you again tomorrow." Buffy smiles softly.
Tara hugs Buffy to her side tightly. "Faith, take her words to heart. You have a place here, if you wish it. You have a lot of people that care for you and want you to get well. I know you have a lot to think over, so we're going to leave. I'll…see you tomorrow." Tara smiles at the wording.
"Bye, Faith." Buffy whispers, allowing Tara to urge her slowly out of the hospital room.
"Definitely see you Sunday?" Buffy calls to Xander.
"Yeah. I'll be there for dinner. I guess this means no Bronze tonight, huh?" Xander grins at the two women.
"No. I need to get Tara home, take care of my love." Buffy admits, glancing worriedly at Tara. "We haven't had much to eat today, and she definitely needs her strength. I don't want her to pass out on me."
"Go." Xander smiles at the two women. "I'll see you Sunday." Xander watches as the two women smile before walking away. Turning back to Faith, Xander chuckles. "Those two are definitely a trip, Faith. You really do need to come back to us and see those two together. What Buffy said was true. We've all done bad things, hurt each other, but we eventually forgive each other and go on. Please come back to us. I'm sure there are a ton of stories you haven't told us. I still think about the one you told us where you were naked and fought the vampires that were attacking the church bus? I still crack up laughing when I think about it. So, please Faith. Please come back and be a friend to us. I think Tara can really use one. From what I've gathered she never had anyone except her mother growing up." Xander sighs, watching the woman. "Friends are hard to come by."