Never Again…
Cassie
I surveyed the old barn of what used to be my house. I had no idea why I was here, or what I would do here. I took in the run-down condition of the place before taking a few steps towards the stalls that used to house the horses. Strands of decaying hay were strewn all over the barn floor. Once in a while, the cool night wind will blow a few strands about. Rusted iron cages of various sizes were stacked against one wall. A few seemed to have toppled and crashed onto the floor though what caused them to do so I don't know. A familiar scent of dried hay and animal droppings reigned over the entire room, though the smell was not as strong as it was the last time I was here.
The last time I was here….
The last time I was here, my parents were preparing for their escape to the Hork-Bajir valley all the way up in the mountains. Rachel had been alive then, helping them. Rachel…
A sudden wave of regret and remorse swept over my heart and for a moment there I thought I was going to break down and cry. Then…nothing. No tears, no emotions. No anger at Jake or pity towards Tobias. Nothing.
I used to cry. I used to weep pathetically at the mere thought of Rachel. Now…it seemed as if I've run out oftears, even though deep in my heart I know that was not true.
(Hey…Cassie) a familiar thought speak suddenly snapped me out of my thoughts.
Tobias. What was he doing here? I thought. Out of habit, I turned my head towards the rafters. There, perched comfortably on a wooden beam, was Tobias. Seeing him there suddenly brought an image into my mind. A red-tailed hawk perched on the rafters. A short, dark-haired boy, smirking, was sitting on a bale of hay. Beside him was a taller boy with brown hair and a sturdier frame, talking with a serious expression on his face but with a glint of amusement in his eyes. Opposite them was a taller girl with supermodel-like facial features and shoulder length blond hair. She was glaring at the dark haired boy. Standing in front of them was what looked like a centaur but with blue fur, stalk eyes, a mouthless face and a tail with a blade at the end. In the backdrop of the image was a dark skinned girl with short hair tending to aracoon in a cage. How simple things seemed back then, I reflected sadly.
"So, is that all I get from you Tobias? A 'hey'?" I attempted to sound nonchalant, as if we meet here every day. Which we used to do…
Tobias chuckled mirthlessly before taking off from his perch to glide down and land onto an old rusted cage close to where I am.
(I …- )he started but I interrupted him.
" The rescue mission. For Ax. You are going," I stated flatly, staring straight into the piercing gaze of the hawk.
(I…Yes, I am) he told me quietly, turning away.
I turned to leave.
(Wait! Cassie! I…I need to ask you something)Tobias cried out.
I continued walking. Out of the barn door and into the night. The sight of millions of stars and a glistening full moon greeted me and I stopped to take in the view.
(Cassie…) Tobias said as he flew over me and landed on the branch of a gnarled old oak right in front of me.
"What question?" I sighed quietly.
There was a moment of silence before Tobias began.
(What do you think…Would Rach-I mean…What would Rachel have..have me do right now?) he asked,his tone dripping with uncertainty and something else. Shame. Yes, shame at having someone else make a decision for him.
I was not surprised with the question. Rather, I was expecting it.
An image of Rachel's face surfaced in my mind. Beautiful Rachel, powerful in both strength and spirit. Brave, smartand reckless. Loyal, till the very end.
"She would never leave a friend in danger. She would have-" at this point, my voice broke and a single tear blazoned my cheek, " she would have said Lets do it! and..and gone off to join the rescue mission. Even if…even if it was…suicide…"
Saying those words, my heart felt as if it was being wrenched and twisted, even while it was still beating. Hot tears began flowing out in a torrent downmy cheeks and a sob slipped out from me.
I couldn't fathom where this sudden swirl of emotions was coming from. A sudden flurry of wings told me that Tobias had taken off and I immediately turned my tearful eyes towards the skies, hoping for a glance of my fellow Animorph before he leaves.
I saw him, soaring in the dark, moonlit sky over the forest. Then it dawned on me, like a wave crashing upon the sand, that that will be last time I will ever see him again. All of them…Rachel, Marco, Ax, Tobias and Jake…
I knew… never again…
Never again…
Suddenly, another image came into my mind. Thebarn in my mindwas just like the one that came to me before. This time however, onlythe dark skinned girlwas left, tending to an injured racoon…