Withered Petals
By: Aisaki Sumi

A/N: My muses came back to haunt me when I was studying for my physics test. (I swear they pick the worst time to take over my mind) and I just had to write this thing down before I forget it again. Physics is easy, I'll just scan through the stuff and I'll be fine.

Warning: this story is rated T for its mature contents. Not the sexual kind, but the actual literature kind. If you're looking for a serious, mature romance story with a historical setting, then this is then one for you. But if you are fond of silly teenage crush and love stories, it is still not too late to turn around. There is very light cursing in this story, since I don't see the need of using heavy profanity. This story has a few quite deep themes to it, enhanced by the use of angst and drama, and I will leave it to you, the readers, to figure it out. XP

Thank you all for reviewing this story, a few reviews really encouraged me and pulled me back to writing this story. I just wanna take the time to thank these reviewers for their encouraging words. Without you, this chapter wouldn't even be here. MidniteRoses, darksessho, cerise, MoshiMoshiQueen, Crystal-Magnolia, elena-maria, shaaarona, SiMply Sakura-chan, Sexy3Slytherin, Pinaygrrl, Particles of Sand. Thank you guys so much for being so supportive! Your reviews truly touched my heart! Thank you!

Chapter 5 Unreal

I was standing in the center of the courtyard, mopping the fallen leaves to a single pile only to toss them out later. The once emerald green leaves of the trees were now auburn colored, and some were tinged slightly reddish, as if someone had splashed various shades of red and brown onto it. I paused for a brief moment, to stare into the sky, and what came into view was the pale blue silk stretch across the horizons. There were patches of snowy white clouds scattering across the blue silk, spreading themselves into flattened sheets.

A chilly yet refreshing breeze whirled by, carrying a pleasant late auburn scent along with it. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with its freshness and closed my eyes just temporarily. The air of Kyoto was now indifferent from the air of my small village. It held a certain familiarity and made me feel that this was actually my home. I could still remember the day of my arrival. Everything was so foreign to me, the okiya, the courtyard, and the people – but now… it felt like the okiya was my home, a warm shelter that protected me from the violent storms outside.

My hair was now up to my shoulder length, and maybe a bit longer. But it was no longer short, like it used to be. Mother had always said I looked better with short hair. It gave me the appearance of a very bright and active child. But Auntie said the long auburn hair that framed my oval-shaped face brought out the maturity in me, and as well, my hidden elegancy. She said that with a beautiful kimono and some ornaments, I would look just as lovely as Nanako-san.

Auntie's kind words made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, especially the way she stroked my hair. Her gentle touches reminded me so much of my mother, who abandoned me for a better place. I had always wanted to be as elegant as Nanako-san, and as beautiful as Kyoko-san. They were the kind of geisha I was determined to become.

I had worked hard in the past few weeks at the geisha school Tomoyo and I attended everyday except Sundays. The teachers were all retired geishas. Their movements were graceful and elegant, yet they were as strict as mother, and maybe even worse. But this stirred the competitiveness in me. I wanted to impress them, as Auntie had taught me to. It was my only way to success, to win mother's investments.

Tomoyo and I took the same classes. Tea ceremonial trainings were in the morning, and in the afternoon, we learn to sing, to dance, and to play an instrument that suited us the most. Tomoyo's angelic voice took the sensei's breath away when she was called up to sing. I still remembered the astounded look in Yukimura sensei's around gray eyes. She even dropped the fan she was holding, which was very un-geisha-like. I wasn't much of a singer, but I loved the traditional dances, they were beautiful and elegant and slow, enchanting in every single way.

I saw Nanako-san a few times at the geisha school. That took me by surprise. I thought she was already done all of her geisha trainings since she was assigned as the head geisha of our okiya. I later on asked Auntie about it and she told me even geishas like Nanako-san still had to continue on their studies in various geisha arts. It was a requirement for the geishas to continue their studies until they were no longer a geisha. However, successful geishas like Nanako-san didn't have to go to school like the rest of us. She only went there once a week, and on the other days, she was always away at a tea party, or entertaining the most powerful men in Kyoto.

I couldn't help but feel envious of her…

Auntie had complimented me the other day of my newly gained gracefulness and elegancy. She said that I was becoming more of a young lady by the days. The clumsy girl from a distant, small village was slowly fading away.

I went to study myself in the mirror later that night, but I saw no difference in my eyes or visage. I still looked the same, except the length of my auburn hair had changed. Tomoyo gave me one of her hair ornaments and told me to clip it on the side of my hair to keep the strands away from my eyes. I took it out and slipped it into my hair, tightening the end of it before letting go of my hand. And I was shocked to see the girl in the mirror. She looked mature and gorgeous. I wasn't sure if I was hallucinating or if it was actually real.

I sighed again as I returned to the task I was carrying out a moment ago – mopping the floor. The soft, rhythmical brushing sound of the broom against the stoned ground of the courtyard sounded so pleasant to my ears. It provided me a clear mind me think through my future, my present. A few strands of auburn locks brushed the sides of my cheeks softly, leaving a ticklish sensation behind. I pushed the hair behind my ears and paused again, pondering how long it would take me to become a real geisha.

Tomoyo had once informed me when we were on our way home one day that geisha lesson was only the beginning of the arduous journey to become a true geisha. It would take at least another three or four years before we could find ourselves a mentor and practice the arts of geisha as an apprentice geisha. However, not everyone was guaranteed a mentor, only a few lucky girls could be selected for this opportunity of a life time, and the rest they would have to wait another few years until someone comes along and lead them into the world of geishas'.

I felt immensely discouraged after hearing that. I thought once I started my geisha lessons, my future of being a geisha was guaranteed. But it was much more complicated then that.

It was then the image of that boy came into my mind, the boy named Syaoran. I wanted to find out more about him, and yet, I knew that with the status I had at the moment, my chances of talking to him, or even approaching him was nothing but a faint distant fantasy. He was like the prince from the distant land, brilliant and radiant, with a promising future, whereas I – a mere peasant girl, could only live a life as someone else's maid and slave. But a part of me denied this fact and believed naively that I could get to know him one day… and maybe even becoming his friend, just like what happened between Tomoyo and I.

Each day, I would see him early in the morning, when I was on my way to geisha school. He was always swinging that wooden kendo sword, repeating the same swift movement. Every time I saw him, a serious and intensive, warrior-like expression occupied his handsome face, emitting a superior aura. I admired the confident and determination they had. As the days passed by, I saw him more often, even on my way back from the geisha school. I could feel myself being drawn closer to him, by my own fascination and inquisitivity.

He was always there, under that cherry blossom tree, swinging and cutting, swinging and cutting. And all I could do was stand by the metallic bars with Tomoyo by myself, admiring him from the afar. He was like a distant star to me, so far away, yet so close by, but unreachable no matter how hard I had tried.

But little did I know that the fate that separated us would soon bring us together, by one single meeting in a chilly autumn afternoon…

……

It was just another Sunday, my only day off from geisha school and yet, it was filled with chores assigned by Mother. I scrubbed the entire first floor of the okiya in the morning, and only to be assigned more chores in the afternoon. Auntie took pity of me and told me to run some errands for her that wasn't actually for her, but actually for Nanako-san, who was away that afternoon as per usual at some tea party. I was told to pick up the newly made hair ornament for her. Auntie warned me to treat it with great care because it was for the special tea party that was coming up, and Nanako-san was invited by the CEO of Kyoto's electricity plant.

I didn't know who it was back then, but in my geisha years, I learned that he was a well-respected Japanese man, famous for his successful enterprise.

It was great to be outdoors again. Instead of breathing in the tainted and dusty air of the okiya, my lungs welcomed the refreshing and mint scented air of autumn – my favorite season of all. It was the season of celebrations, of harvesting, and the weather was simply perfect. The wind was not as violent and destructive as the freezing, snowy winter wind, nor was it humid and moisture-laden as the summer breeze. It was just perfect, soothing and refreshing. Sighing in relaxation, I grinned excitedly at no one in particular, thoroughly enjoying the season while it had lasted.

I hopped a little as I made my way down the humpy road, and strode off toward my destination. But instead of making a turn right there at the cross section, I walked straight down the path, heading toward that special place that I managed to pass by every week day and Saturday. I could feel the warmth crawling to my cheeks from the back of my ears as my heartbeat doubled, and tripling as I neared the mansion of my greatest ecstasy.

It was really silly of me to feel that way. The fascination overwhelmed my conscious mind, drove away all the rational thoughts that occupied it moments ago, replacing them with nothing more but fantasies and unrealistic ideas. I knew that I was taking a dangerous gamble with my own future and life. If I was ever discovered wandering down the streets like this, Mother would be furious and deprive me of my freedom, or worse, toss me out of the okiya and let me die helplessly on the streets.

But a part of me urged me to go on, to find out more about that boy who managed to draw me closer to him every time I saw him. He was the one who roused the rebelliousness in me, the desire for exploration and risk taking. He made me lose my usual calmness and collectiveness and pushed me to the verge, the boundary between reality and fantasy. I was caught in between, unable to move. And I knew better than anyone else that this would one day be the cause of my sufferings. Yet – I risked it all.

I was initially taught to be obedient as a kitten, to follow orders of the upper family of the okiya and never question a thing about life or my own future. All I had to do was to do the chores, impress mother and keep her pleased at all times so she could continue her investment in me, but that was all. But after meeting him; after seeing the passions his fierce amber eyes – a part of me was awakened – the part that was locked away, restrained by the demands of society.

The way he moved with such confidents – amazed me. I was impressed – to a point that I would simply forget the things around me and immerse myself in his world.

To me, he was the samurai from the distant land– the perfect warrior. And all I wanted to do was to be close to him, to watch him and never tear my eyes off him. This overwhelming desire even astonished myself, and yet there was nothing I could do to stop this infatuation. All the logics were cast aside; all the rational thoughts were forgotten, like an ancient artifact, buried under layers of soil.

While I was lost in my thoughts, my feet stopped on track. The suddenness of it pulled me back into reality. I jerked my head backward, and stared at the empty street in front of me. The trees, the houses, the cleanness of this avenue reminded me of my current location. I slowly turned my head to the right, finding myself facing the familiar black metallic bars – the obstacles that blocked my way, preventing me from reaching my dreams.

I walked toward the gates, enclosing the distance between us, while my eyes desperately searched for that familiar figure that captured my heart, mind and soul; the person that depleted my threadbare sanity. I stopped breathing, holding that breathe as a cold realization hit me. He was no where to be found. The cherry blossom was left alone, swaying by itself. The petals drifted weightlessly in the thin air. The mossy, grassy ground was just as emerald green as ever. The entire scenery hadn't changed a bit since the last time I had seen it, and yet, something was amiss.

He wasn't there…

I exhaled, letting the compressed air in my lungs to escape. An unexplainably heavy and dreary disappointment settled in my small heart as the beats slowed down, eventually fading into nothingness – into the surrounding soundlessness. My eyes saddened, the usual sparkling emerald orbs became hollow and dull, mirroring nothing but dissatisfaction and dismals. He's not there… the harsh truth slapped me across the face, knocking me off my own feet.

The feeling was crushing in a sense.

"What are you doing here?" A voice demanded insolently, cocky and filled with a young boy's innocence and rudeness. The question startled me immensely, causing me to jump just slightly. My heart literally skipped a beat at the demanding voice echoed in my ears, vibrating my ear drums. I veered my attention to where the voice came from and what welcomed me at the opposite of the metallic bars were the pair of brilliant amber eyes that I desperately wished to see.

My jaws dropped and every part of my body became paralyzed under such fierce gaze. Surprise and disbelieves sparkled in my eyes, my emerald orbs widening to twice their original sizes. The sand in the hourglass seemed to have stopped moving. The ever-flowing time was frozen, paused. Everything around me appeared to be fading into the facades, becoming so distant, leaving only the two of us standing by that metallic gate that marked the invisible boundaries of our worlds.

This was as far as I could go. He was unreachable to me and that was the fact that I had to accept, no matter how much my mind wanted to deny it all. But at that moment, all my thoughts were tossed aside, left temporarily forgotten. All my troubles, my doubts – all were driven away by the beauty of his eyes, of his presence. He was just a few inches away from me. I could feel his breathe on my face, his extending warmth, vanquishing the coldness that threatened to devour us.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He queried, his gaze pierced through my eyes and straight into my soul, reaching the deepest part of it. I felt exposed, naked in front him, as if I was an open book, and that all my darkest secrets were written on it. There was an urgency to pull away that fierce gaze, to cover myself up again, but I couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes off him, as if there was a magnetic force between us that was attracting me to him.

Instead of replying, I stayed silent, letting the whirling by wind to whistle on my behalf, as if it was trying to pass a message to him. I saw him opening his mouth, but only to close it again. I could see his hesitation clearly, yet I made no attempt to speak or reply to him. In truth, I was quite scared to talk, like I had always been. But there was another reason that was restraining me from stepping forward – I felt I was not good enough to be speaking to a person like him, a person with such high status.

Comparing to him, I was a mere peasant girl, filthy and worthless, while he was high above – like an unreachable but brilliant star.

My heart was pounding fast and hard, and I knew my hands were trembling on the side. This was like a dream come true for me, being able to stand so close to him, face to face, locking our eyes in such gaze. Seeing him from the afar was nothing comparing to seeing him up close. I could even see the specks and hints of hazel encircling his pupils. Such mixture of different shades of brown to amber appeared breathtakingly beautiful to me.

There was a slight frown on his face; an indication of impatience. "Can you talk?" He asked bluntly, his tone revealing his childish naivety. The entire upper part of my body was paralyzed, and my brain was blank, unable to process the words and signal my head to nod. I tried opening my mouth to draw out a response of some sort, but failed miserably as my voice decided to betray me at that very moment when I needed it the most.

"But you can hear me talking right?" He looked at me expectantly. I hauled out the only bit of strength and control in my body and nodded lightly. The movement was so small that it was unnoticeable to ordinary eyes, but nothing ever went unnoticed under his keen, observant cat-like eyes. Letting out a small relieved sigh, the corners of his lips lifted up just ever so slightly and formed a small smile, which further enhanced his handsome futures.

"Good, at least you can still hear." He stated, shifting a little, he straightened out his back and studied me curiously. I felt my face growing warmer by the seconds. He looked thoughtful for a moment, cocking his head to the side, a hand lifting the weight of his delicate chin. "I saw you almost every morning… you and your other long haired friend." It wasn't a statement nor was it a question. I stared at him, inquisitive and excited at the same time as I waited for his following up sentence.

But welcomed me was another suspenseful pause. Instead of continuing that unfinished sentence, he simply stared at me, with such intensity and curiosity. "You have nice eyes you know that? Not a lot of people around here have eyes with such color. It makes you special you know." After the long hiatus, he spoke again, complimenting me. But unlike the others, his compliments were sincere and honest. The heat, underneath the skin of my cheeks increased, causing me to flush red, but my heart was filled with contentment.

While my eyes tried to memorize every little detail of his features, my ears were recording his words. He blinked a few times, flapping those thick long lashes, hiding the burning ambers for a brief moment and only to reveal them again in a split of a second. "My mother saw you and the other girl passing by our house the other day, and she said you're a geisha in training. I've only seen a few geishas in my life, Kyoko-san being one of them. Don't know if you know her or not, but she's one of the top geishas in Kyoto and one of the best in Japan – according to grandpa anyway."

I remembered hearing his grandpa complimenting Kyoko-san, and how he was so intrigued and amazed by her beauty. An unfamiliar feeling arose from the hidden chambers of my heart, I was jealous of Kyoko-san, for gaining Syaoran's admiration.

"She would've been more beautiful if she had eyes as distinctive as yours." A shrugged followed his statement. He then looked down to take out an envelope from the pockets inside of his sleeves, smoothing it out before handing it to me through the gaps between the metallic bars.

"Do me a favor," he began, I looked at the neatly sealed envelope and then him, confused. He turned around to see if there was anyone around, as if this conversation carried a great degree of conspiracy and secrecy; as if something extremely bad was going to happen if it was ever heard by unfriendly ears. Seeing no direct threats or harms, his eyes landed on me once again.

"This is a letter that I need to mail out. But I'm not allowed to step out of this house. Grandpa forbids me to go anywhere on my own and I don't want people to see this letter. It's for my father and it's very important." He explained hurriedly, not bothering with the details. My dumbfounded brain took a while to process the ideas before sending out the signal that I was supposed to nod.

"I can tell that you're not a bad person. Though you may not be able to talk…" He trailed off as he looked at me meaningfully. I felt my heart being overwhelmed by joy and warmth. For once, I was being appreciated, and trusted. I told myself silently that I would for sure deliver this mail to the postbox, regardless of the cost. One of his hands reached to the obi that was wrapped neatly around his waist and tugged off a beautiful piece of jade that was hanging from his obi.

"Take this, it'll be your reward for delivering the mail. And afterwards, you can go sell it. It should be able to earn you a good amount of money." He said, passing the beautiful jade through the gates. I raised my hand into the air and touched it, feeling the coldness of the contact. I looked down, my eyes widened at the beauty of it. The round, circular shaped jade was tinged dark moss green in the center. The color slowly faded, to a lighter and lighter shade of green as it neared the edge, which was a color of pale emerald green.

I gaped at him in shock, feeling the weight of the piece of jade. He shrugged, unconcerned by the fact that he had just given away a very valuable piece of jade. "I got plenty of them at home anyway. You can keep it. You earned it fair and square by delivering that important letter for me."

"SYAORAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE GATES?" A call from somewhere behind him was heard. He snapped his head to the direction of the voice and turned to look at me again, his eyes revealing the panic and uneasiness roused in him.

"Go, hurry, before my cousin sees you! She'll go tell mother about this for sure!" A frown formed on his face as the heads of his two dark eyebrows confronted each other in the center. He waved his hand as a signal for me to leave, while he kept one of his eyes on the house. I heard rushed footsteps, growing louder and clearer by the seconds and was curious to see who his cousin was, but his eyes gave the flicker of hurry. I stumbled a little as I backed away from the gates, scampering for the closest tree to hide myself.

I placed my palms against the rough, rigid surface of the truck of the tree, while my head poked out just a little so I could see what was going on. Peaking, I stuffed the letter into my kimono, along with that piece of jade. I saw a girl with long raven hair approaching him. She was wearing a light orangey colored kimono with flowery patterns strewed across the pale orange background. The material of the kimono stood out, emitting an elegant glow under the soft sunlight, indicating that the material was woven of the finest silk.

She had a svelte figure, and her ruby red eyes left me astounded. They were like seas of scarlet water, so rare and beautiful. It matched the color of her hair perfectly, giving her an exotic appearance. While my eyes were drinking in the beauty of her visage and kimono, my ears listened carefully as to what was going on.

"Syaorannnn!" The girl whined, pouting cutely as she tugged the sleeves of his kimono. "Who were you talking to? You know aunt has a rule about no talking to strangers." She pulled his sleeves, stretching out the fine silky fabric and swung it back and forth.

Syaoran shoved her hands away, annoyance glinting in his amber eyes. "Stop that. It's annoying. And I wasn't talking to anyone. I just liked being near the gates for once in a while to look at the empty streets. And don't repeat mother's words to me, I'm not stupid or deaf you know, I can listen for myself thank you very much." He snapped, his eyes scowling as a sullen expression settled on his handsome face.

He then glanced at my way, before heading back to the main house. It seemed to me that he was trying to pass some sort of message to me. I nodded at him, letting the determinations in my eyes show as I assured him the letter was safe with me and that I would deliver it to the postbox for sure. The corner of his mouth curved up just slightly, a small smile playing on his lips. I smiled back so naturally, full of contentment.

The ends of his kimono fluttered as he strode off to the other direction, enlarging the distance between us. Though we were still separated by the same metal gates, the same garden, but I somehow felt we were as close as ever. With that train of thought trailing off my mind, I stepped out from my hiding spot and took out the letter from my kimono with great care and looked at the characters on it.

They all seemed so foreign and magical to me, since I had never had the chance to learn how to read, but I soon will learn, in my geisha lessons when we reached writing and reading. But for now, I allowed myself to be fascinated by the simple yet beautifully written hiraganas and kanjis. It was then I started to feel the weight of the jade on my chest and towed the delicate weight out of my kimono.

I was delighted to see the jade up close again, and to actually observe it. It had writing on it, but I didn't know what it was at this time. But I would later on learn how to read and realize that it was actually his name – the Chinese name of the boy who stole my heart the moment we met. The moment fate guided me to this place. I cupped my hands around it protectively, handling it with great delicacy.

I looked up, at the black metal gates, where the magical moment had happened. It was so unreal. I felt like I was in a dream, where there was just the two of us, and with the beautiful garden surrounding us. Just the two of us… I wished the moment could last a bit longer, but I knew it was naïve of me to even wish for such impossible things.

I widened my smile. A gentle autumn breeze whirled by, picking up a few fallen leaves, lifting them off the ground and caused them to twirl weightlessly in the air. I let out a small sigh and started to resume my original quest, which was picking up the ornaments for Auntie. With that little contentment filling in my heart, I skipped and hopped happily down the empty street, my shoes making a quiet cling with the hard concrete ground.

But little did I know that this would be the last time I would see him in a few years.

Nanako-san was watching me from the afar, her eyes glinting a wicked intention, foreshadowing the sequence of unfortunate events that was bound to take place. But I was far too content at the moment to even notice the shadows that loomed over the quiet neighborhood.

This contentment would soon vanish as I return to the okiya… just like that brief moment…

But it was so unreal…

A/N: whooot! Another chapter is done! This chapter is quiet short comparing to my other ones since there was only a little things need to be covered in this chapter. It would've been longer, but I decided not to make it so long. I would've went deeper into the tea ceremonies and geisha lessons parts, but many had complained about this story being too informative and boring. Though these are parts of the Japanese culture, and provides an insight look at the geisha's life, but since most of you don't want to be informed on any of those areas and want to move on to the romance, I'll just keep that part for myself then. And for those who are interested in finding out more about the art of geisha, you can email me or add me to your msn and I would be simply delighted to share my knowledge with you.

The next chapter will be the end of Sakura's childhood, and you'll see how I will fast forward things to their adulthood, where she'll be meeting Syaoran for the second time in her life. Most of you are probably more interested in that. But I thought the process of showing how Sakura and Syaoran first met is essential to the story. I once again apologize for the boringness of the chapter. But I like to keep things slow-paced. The story would be more solid that way. But I know most of you are used to the fast-paced fanfics, and it was probably a torture for you to read through this stuff. I apologize profusely for that, but I'm a writer who likes to give out background information first, to help the readers to understand the plot better.

Another for the slow pace of the story is because it has a historical setting, especially to those who are not familiar with the Chinese and Japanese history. I can't say that I'm an expert in this area, but my parents talk to me a lot about Chinese and Japanese history… 'cause they think I'm gonna become too westernized and forget about my own distinctive culture. I just thought it is important to address the background information first before thickening the plot. Most of the things in this story are historically accurate, and I've been doing some detailed research on World War II, especially on what life was like in Japan and China at the time etc.

Even though Syaora and Sakura are strangers to each other, but kids seem to trust strangers a lot. (From my observations anyway) Especially the ones they are fascinated by. So it's only normal for Syaoran to ask Sakura to deliver that letter for him. (I've had this kid coming up to me and asked me to buy something for him using the few coins he had. And there was this other kid who I met at the bus stop and asked me if I liked Yugioh XD)

I apologize for this super long authoress note at the end, but I just had to answer some questions posed in the reviews. And I hope this will provide you the information your looking for. Ja ne for now! The next update will be next week XD, and yes, I'm back to my weekly updates schedule again, for this story, since my muses came back to haunt me again.

Reviews appreciated. Flames ignored. Constructive criticisms considered.