Chapter 26

"Night, Night, Daddy."

Jason had sworn he heard Emma say something. It almost sounded like Daddy. He could only wish that had been what she said. He was enjoying having her stay with him, and was glad he could calm her down, like with Courtney.

He couldn't seem to get his mind off his ex-wife. She was everywhere lately, in his dreams, his thought's, everything he looked at reminded him of her, especially… no. He wouldn't think like that, Courtney would have told them something like that, something that life changing.

Then it hit him like a ton of bricks, she must still be with Jax. That thought made his heart ache as he thought of everything Courtney had said…

FLASHBACK

"Would you change it," Jason asked.

"Change what," Courtney questioned not understanding completely.

"Us."

How was she supposed to answer that? She could dodge it, but she had dodged too many of his questions. Looking out over the water she thought. Would she change them?

"No," She said very sure, " I wouldn't change anything, I value what we had, what you gave me."

She meant what she said. She did value everything he gave her. He just gave her more than he knew.

"Nothing," Jason questioned as he looked at her, " You wouldn't change a thing?"

"No," Courtney said as she turned to face him.

"Not even how we ended, or the mis…" he stopped mid sentence, as he looked into her eyes.

Her eyes held a blank stare, one he wasn't used to. He could always read her, or he used to. She wasn't an open book to him anymore.

What was he thinking, getting into this conversation with her. She had just got back, and he was already trying to get her to relieve all the guilt he felt. Guilt for the pain he caused her through the miscarriage, all the lies he told, about Sam. Mostly he felt guilty for not going to see her, and for all the things he had said to her before she left.

"Finish the sentence," She encouraged.

"I can't," Jason responded looking down.

"You were going to say miscarriage," Courtney stated more as a fact than a question as Jason nodded slightly, "It's ok, Jason. If you want to talk about it we can. I'm ok, Yeah it still hurts to think about it, but it won't change."

Jason didn't look up. He wasn't sure he could.

"Look at me Jason," Courtney ordered softly.

She placed her hand under his chin and tilted his head up to look at her. There was so much emotion that flowed through both of them in the simple contact. She had a soft smile on her face, like it never happened, and it caused his heart to break. Did loosing their child mean so little to her that she could smile at him?

"Jason, It was hard on me, then, but that was a long time ago. I haven't had time to dwell on the past much," Courtney said thinking about her energetic daughter.

"How is it so easy for you to talk about," Jason asked still not looking at her.

"I've had a lot of practice. I talk about it a few times," Courtney said.

It had been more than a few times, as Emma was a curious child. She had wanted to know all about her Mommy growing up, and the miscarriage had been a frequent topic.

"Who'd you talk with," Jason asked more than a little curious. He wanted to know whom she could be so comfortable with that she would be willing to talk.

"Carly," Courtney responded. It wasn't a complete lie; Carly had been in on some of the conversations just not all of them.

"Oh," Jason said, rather disappointed it wasn't him, but then again, he hadn't really been around.

"Look, Jase," Courtney said, "We had some good times, some great times, but it doesn't help to wish you could do it differently. I wouldn't change a thing."

"Not even how we left it," Jason said not sure why he kept asking.

"What you said to me hurt," Courtney paused as she let out a sigh to gather her thoughts, "I understand, you had Sam, she needed you. So I get that you needed to act like that night never happened, but that night happened for me. I won't forget it."

"I can't," Courtney responded with a laugh.

It was true. She would never forget that night. She was gifted with her daughter that night whether he knew it or not. It wasn't only the fact that she had received their daughter that night, it was that she had felt so loved and cared for that she couldn't forget it. She had tried to forget, then she found out about Emma and all hopes of forgetting that night and him went out the door.

"I'm sorry…" Jason started.

"Don't Jason. I already know you are, and sorry doesn't change anything. I get that you regret what happened, but I won't go back. I can't go back. My life now, It's good, and I have everything I could dream of," Courtney said knowing that there was still one thing that she didn't have, and that was him.

"Hey it's late. I should get going," Courtney said as she went to stand.

"I'll see you around," Jason stated as more of a question.

"Yeah, Maybe I'll stop by your penthouse in the morning."

END FLASHBACK

-.-

It was a little after eight in the morning as Courtney stood in the elevator. Sure when she had told Jason she would maybe stop by she had also wanted to see him. Her main reason however was to see Emma. If the girl chose to acknowledge her in front of Jason great, it would save her actually telling him, if not, well at least she would get to see her daughter.

The doors opened and Courtney stepped off the elevator and into the hallway, as a guard greeted her.

"Can I help you," He asked.

"I was wondering if Jason was in," Courtney responded.

"I believe so," The guard replied, "Did you want me to check?"

"No. Is it ok if I just let myself in," Courtney questioned, "He's kind of expecting me."

"Not a problem," He responded as he watched the blonde walk over to the door. The guard had never really seen a woman willingly go into Jason's, with the exception of Carly, Sam, Elizabeth, and Emma as of late. It made him wonder what she wanted.

-.-

Courtney lightly knocked on the door realizing that Emma was probably still asleep; she never liked to wake up. Getting no response Courtney turned the doorknob in hopes that it was unlocked. It was. Gently pushing the door open so as not to wake anyone sleeping she peered into the room.

Courtney was left breathless at the sight she saw. Jason sat on the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table, head tipped back, one arm on the side of the couch, and the other resting on Emma's side as if to protect her from the boogieman. He looked so adorable sleeping on the couch with Emma.

Emma was just as cute. She had her head resting on his leg; hair was tossed every which way from moving in her sleep. Her legs were thrown haphazardly at the other end of the couch, while one of her arms was tossed off the side of it. Her other arm rested next to Jason's as both slept peacefully.

Courtney stood in awe. They looked so perfect together. She couldn't help but think maybe she had been wrong to leave. If she hadn't of left Emma would have grown up knowing the man that was her father, and perhaps her life would have been a bit easier. Courtney's thoughts were rudely interrupted by the incessant screams of someone across the hall.

"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING"!

-.-