His fingers wandered aimlessly over the strings of his guitar, plucking a few random chords whenever it suited his fancy. Lying flat on his back, staring up at his ceiling with a blank look on his face, he was quite sure he'd hit rock bottom. Images of her anguished expression flashed through his troubled mind at an alarming speed, prompting him to roll over and bite the corner of his pillow in a half-hearted attempt to choke back his bitter moan. He'd really messed things up, and he knew it. Now that he was all alone— completely and utterly, he miserably reminded himself— he felt no need to maintain his carefully crafted façade.

No matter how much less complicated it would make his life, he simply could not afford to invest any emotional energy into Kagome's more light-hearted suggestion. Because he simply knew that it was not true. Sango barely tolerated his presence as a friend; there was no way on her earth that she did— or ever would— like him in that sort of way.

In a certain sense, it would have been better had Kagome meant something by her kiss. Perhaps then he would have actually had the will to attempt a relationship with someone who was not her, that violently pretty young woman who had captured his wayward heart. It would have been easier to deal with InuYasha's wrath— not that he had any right to be mad, what with the way he was still relentlessly pursuing the object of his older brother's affections— than Sango's tears.

Not that she had actually cried, he forcibly reminded himself. No, she didn't care that much. And in a way, he was glad. He wouldn't want to be responsible for causing her such sorrow; he'd caused her enough as it stood..

He was, quite frankly, dreading the next morning. Morning meant leaving the sanctuary of his nice, warm bed and going to school. And going to school meant having to deal with… well, everyone. Which was something he was not looking forward to in the slightest.

Releasing the breath he had not known that he'd been holding, he resumed his idle strumming. After awhile, he grew weary of his toneless concoction and began to concentrate on the melody that had been clawing at his brain since early that afternoon. A few moments of additional tweaking rendered it entirely compatible with the lyrics he had composed some time ago.

"Our scene begins as the telephone rings, she chokes a gasp at the awful news it brings. Phone call she's been avoiding. She knows he's reached the end," He nearly sighed, eyes which normally shone a bright shade of azure now clouded and hazy, an endless storm of moody gray.

"Hooked up to the respirator, it breathes life into my calloused lungs. My heartbeat's getting fainter, you know my time has come…" He trailed off a moment, wincing as the underlying implications of that statement hit uncomfortably close to home. While not dying in a literal sense, he felt his desire to exist in a social environment slowly ebbing away. As evidenced by his earlier trepidation, he would much rather hole up inside his house and remain there until everyone forgot about him and vice-versa.

"It's getting colder, been trying to show her, that I'm not the one, to be there beside her. Now I'm crossing over, can no one console her? Alone she'll remain, with no way to end this pain," He softly crooned, in scarcely more than a whisper, train of thought taking a sharp turn and heading back the way it'd come. The only one left with whom she could talk the situation over with was Kuranosuke, who he rather doubted would be sympathetic to her plight this time around, as he'd probably choose to grow jealous and surly and only end up further distressing her. In the past, it was he who had been Sango's confident. The good friend on whom she could rely on, confide in. But he'd taken her trust and shattered it with his own indiscretion. "Now I realize, the things that I, the things that I have done to you. Why, you gave your love with all your heart— with all that a heart can give."

He caught his breath before the next strain of words came, knowing that the potency of their deliverance would leave him huffing, otherwise. "Intentions that you'll never know, the reason why I had to lead astray. I gave you a lifetime of pain and remorse, mistakes that were never yours; the wrong in my life can never be right, it flashes before my eyes," He finished that particular stanza with a rueful sort of smile, shaking his head at the irony of it all. This was, perhaps, why this particular collection of words had popped into his mind when he'd been bemoaning his horrible luck.

"How did it come to this?" He softly lamented, voice quivering as he spoke the next lines with certain clarity."His mind is working harder than ever before, a thousand thoughts in seconds. His last thoughts were of her, and how he and he alone had destroyed the once vibrant spirit he had coveted so deeply," He winced at this, once more struck by the relevance of what he solemnly recited. "The last pain he ever causes the only woman who ever loved him."

"Bright light is calling me upward; I follow and leave you below," He resumed his soulful ballad, the quivering having evolved into full-blown trembling. Somewhat shakily, he finished the song. "Now you're all alone, I leave you with nobody by your side. Not to hurt you ever again, never break your spirit for me. Now I'm all alone, still I cherish the things that you've given me. Bright light is calling me upward, I follow and leave you below."

When at last his breathing evened out, he gently set his instrument aside and wept.


A/N: Apologies for the wait, all. I wrote and re-wrote this chapter so many times, I'm not even sure where it all begins and ends anymore. All I know is that the very first time I heard this song, "Things Aren't So Beautiful (Part 2)" by A Thorn For Every Heart, I knew that it was perfect and that I had to use it. The chapter title is, of course, a line from this same song. This chapter was supposed to feature a song in it to begin with, as I need more practice before the 'big finale' (meaning the concert), but before my friend introduced me to this one, I just kept stumbling from one to the next, looking for the right one. Thank God for friends, huh? Anyway, tell me what you think about the chapter, or especially the song if you downloaded it.

Oh, and just in case you're confused about Miroku's usage of a guitar instead of his standard keyboard: I believe I mentioned awhile back in the actual context of the story that they could all play the guitar, he just generally preferred the keyboard. I had him use one here because he couldn't very well lay on his back on his bed and play his keyboard at the same time. Well… I suppose he could, if he really wanted to, but that might take more of an effort than he's willing to put into anything at this point in time.

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