Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No profit will be made from this story and no copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Note: Thank you to all that have reviewed over the last few chapters. I hope you will let me know if the daily updates are lessening the quality of the stories. I am sorry to say that I probably won't get to Christmas by Christmas, because I don't want to shortchange the story. I am sorry for the editorial mistakes that were in the last story. I'll do better at editing. And now...the moment of truth.
I was paralyzed. I felt beyond terrified as I walked into the place that had tormented me for so long. I held tightly to Richard's hand as we walked towards a bench.
"Do you remember anything Emily? Anything at all?" Richard asked in a hoarse whisper. Suddenly as if lightening had stuck I saw a flash in my mind. Richard and I were running through the streets, our clothes drenched from downpour, screaming out our daughter's name.
Suddenly I felt faint, "Richard," I said, grabbing his hand with my other hand. "I need to sit down."
He wrapped a protective arm around me and led me over to the bench and then took off his coat and put it around me.
I was breathing deeply trying to keep calm when another flash hit me. There was a policeman, and he was asking Richard questions—how old is your daughter? Is there anyone who would want to seek revenge on you or your family?
My heart was beating wildly. I felt like I was having a heart attack. "Richard," I whispered. "Something happened here. Something happened here at the park didn't it?"
I turned towards him and his fists were clenched, he was literally shaking with fear.
"Richard," I persisted gently, "I don't remember anything. Please, tell me."
He turned back towards me and placed both hands on mine. "I never meant to keep it from you Emily. I thought it was the best thing," he said, his eyes pleading with me.
"Darling, it's alright," I said. "Just tell me,"
He took a deep breath and started to tell the secret he had kept for so long.
"I was on business," he began, "You wanted to come and visit your sister and you wanted to take Lorelai with you because she hadn't seen the baby yet. We had been here for three days when one of my meetings was canceled, and so we decided to take a picnic lunch to the park—this park. We were having a wonderful time...it was such a beautiful day. The two of you were playing together. You would hide behind a tree and then jump out and catch Lorelai in your arms. She would laugh and as I sat there watching you I thought I had the perfect life. I had such a beautiful wife and daughter. We were having lunch when the storm hit. It was a thunderstorm that came out of nowhere. It caught us totally caught us off guard. The car was parked down the street and so I ran to get and bring it to you. You grabbed the food and Lorelai's hand..." he dropped off, needing to get control of his emotions.
"I took Lorelai's hand," I continued, as more and more memories flooded into my mind. "I took her hand and told her not to be afraid. I hurried towards the edge of the park where you were going to bring the car. I had all the food in my arms." Suddenly I turned and looked for it—the large hill. The hill that Lorelai would roll down. It seemed so much bigger now.
"There was a big flash and I knew lightening had hit somewhere close, the thunder hit after that and Lorelai screamed." Suddenly, it felt like a ton of bricks were on my forehead. "Oh Richard," I gasped, shaking my head.
"No Emily!" Richard said forcefully, "You have to face this! You have to face it!"
I shook my head again, "She let go of my hand...she let go of my hand and she started running away from me. I started calling after her, telling her to come to mommy, but she wouldn't come. She wouldn't come to me. She started running up the hill. I dropped everything and booked it after her. I could hear her crying, hear her screaming out of fear. I just kept running after her. I ran up the hill, and when I got to the top..."
I stopped and shook my head wildly. I felt like the walls were coming down on me. I couldn't breathe. "She was gone! She was gone Richard!" I broke down. "I searched all over for her! She had just disappeared!"
He put his arm on my head and brought it to his shoulder.
"I lost her Richard. It was my fault! I lost my baby! Oh Dear God Richard, I lost my baby!"
He broke down then too and we both cried for a few minutes. "It's alright," he said. "It's alright. Let it all out. Let it all go."
"I don't remember anymore." I whispered after I had gotten a hold of myself. I held tightly to Richard as he went on.
"You came and got me...and I didn't believe you," he said swallowing hard. "I thought she was playing with you again. We searched and searched until finally we called the police. They came and the first thing they did was drag the creek that ran along the back end of the park."
Suddenly the image came into my mind of the minutes that seemed like a millennial while we waited as the policemen searched for Lorelai in the river.
"I was crazy," Richard said. "Watching them drag that river was like having my insides ripped apart. Do you remember when Lorelai was lost in the mountains?"
I nodded, and he continued, "When we thought she was in the water, I went mad again—it was like I was reliving that all over again.
"When we found out she wasn't there, we both started searching again and the police started questioning other people who were in their cars who had been in the park. Finally one of them said that they had seen a woman pick up a girl matching Lorelai's description and hurry towards her car."
Suddenly I remembered that too—a dark haired man, he hardly spoke any English. The policeman had asked him he had a description of the woman. He shook his head, "I thought it was the child's mother," he said in a heavy French accent. Suddenly I had lunched towards him, my hair wet, my clothes sopping. "I am her mother!" I had screamed at him. Richard had had to keep me back. I had turned away from the man and started screaming it to the sky, "I'm her mother! Do you hear me? I am her mother! She's my daughter! She's mine!"
I turned my head into Richard's chest and he placed a hand on the back of it. "From that moment on it was a kidnapping case. The policemen told us to go home, but neither of us could. We kept searching the streets for her, but there was nothing. Finally, we were both so cold and worn out that we went home to change our clothes and go back out again." Suddenly, he started shaking again. "We were almost to the car when all of a sudden you just collapsed." His voice was heavy and thick. "I yelled for help and the ambulance came and took you to the hospital. I stood there, watching the ambulance drive you away and I was paralyzed, my wife was being taken to the hospital, and my baby girl had been kidnapped. I didn't know what to do. I went back to Hope's house and changed my clothes and sped up the hospital." He hugged me tighter to him, "When I got there, you were delirious. You kept screaming at me to bring you the baby. I never felt so helpless in all my life. I couldn't stay there. I had to leave, had to do something and so I left to go find our baby and bring her to you. For hours I searched the streets but there was no trace of her. I went back to the hospital that night and found you had been admitted to intensive care. They said it was pneumonia. I sat up all night, watching every breath cause you pain, listening to you cry for our baby."
"Oh Richard," I let out an anguished sob. "You can stop now, you don't need to tell me anymore. She's okay now. Lorelai is okay."
He shook his head and brought me up to face him. Cupping my face in his hands, he went on. "There is more, Emily. It won't be easy for you to hear it but you have to," he said. "Not even Hope knows this..." he swallowed hard and then went on. "You were pregnant Emmy," and the full wait of his revelation sunk into me. I felt like I had been shot. I was unable to say anything and so he went on. "You were about six weeks along. I didn't know. I don't know if you even knew. On the second day Lorelai was missing—you lost the baby."
I covered my mouth with my hands.
"After that you lost your will to live. You just gave up and I sat there in that hospital and waited for you to die," his voice cracked again. "I was a mad man. I thought I had lost everything. Lorelai was missing, but I couldn't leave your bed side. I was so afraid Emily—I was so afraid that if I left you would die," he said and I cupped his face in my hands now and put his forehead against mine.
"Two days later, Hope got a phone call from the American police and came to the hospital in a panic. There was a two year old girl matching Lorelai's description that had been abandoned in New York City. She was being held at an orphanage. The police were sure it was Lorelai—she was wearing the same outfit she had on that day. You were still too weak to travel, but I had to go and get her. Leaving you...knowing you might not be there when I got back, it was the hardest thing I've had to do. I booked a red eye flight and at that point I hadn't slept in about 72 hours. I landed and hurried to the New York police department...when I came in, they didn't have to ask who I was. One of the lady police offers walked out carrying Lorelai," he said in a stifled sob. I just broke down, I held her to me and wept letting out all the anguish. She kept putting her hands on my cheeks and saying, "K Daddy—K," telling it was going to be okay." I hurried back with her to Paris and you were still holding your own. They wouldn't let me bring her to you. They were afraid she'd get sick. So again, for two more nights, I listened to you cry for your baby and I tried to tell you that she was back and that she was safe but you couldn't hear me. Finally, I convinced them to let her come in. She was wearing a mask, and a hospital gown with gloves. She came right over to you, and laid next to you. She brought you out of it Emily. From that moment on you took a turn for the better. When you woke up...you didn't remember anything. The doctor told me it had been too traumatic—the loss of two children—and your subconscious couldn't deal with it. I thought it would be better this way, that you never knew the truth. It was about two months later that you had the first dream."
"Oh Richard," I whispered, marveling at the courage it had taken to tell me the truth, and the terrible aloneness he had felt all these years. Suddenly the pieces of the puzzle were all fitting together. So Richard had taken us home, determined to a keep a secret that he wasn't sure he could live with. When that had proved impossible, he had simply found a way to bury that pain so deeply that he could go on. Over the years, as I would wake up screaming in the night, he would hold me and tell me it was a dream. Each time a trip to Europe came up, he couldn't bear to bring Lorelai with us, each time we visited my sister in Paris—he went through Hell. As time went on, he had buried himself so deeply in work to dull the pain of the fear of loosing the two people he loved most. My poor darling, darling Richard. Again I took his face in my hands and started to kiss him all over, crying now that the truth was finally out. "It's alright Darling, everything's alright now. It's all over," I said. He put a hand to my cheek and then brought me to him. I kissed him passionately, and he clung to me.
"I love you Richard. I love you so much," I said, breathing heavily as we broke the kiss. "I won't ever leave you. I promise. I won't."
"I love you too Emmy," he said. "It's all over now. No more dreams. It's all over."
Suddenly, as we were moving towards each other to kiss again, his pager went off.
"Hold that thought," he said as he moved towards his pager.
"Who would be paging? Don't you have your cell phone with you?" I asked as I dried my tears.
He didn't answer me.
I looked at him and the look on his face.
"What is it?" I asked. He didn't say anything just handed me the pager.
I put my hand to my mouth.
"Daddy Help—911" it said.
And then as history repeated itself once again, Richard and I ran from the park and headed into our nightmare.