Disclaimer: I own none of the fantastical characters found in this story… nothing from DOTM. (boo, hoo!)
Authors Note: All lyrics appearing in this piece are mine… not that they're that good anyways… so no flames over the lyrics please! I never said I was a songwriter!
It's funny, how, when you're dying, you see things in a different light, Kerissa thought. She wasn't scared, not really, she was more sad about all the things she was going to miss.
She didn't bother going to school that last month. Her mother didn't mind—actually, to be fair, her mother didn't know, as she was in a seminar in Seattle for the month.
Kerissa exercised her powers quite often—except for her Follower powers. That part, she left alone. It was hard. The desire to melt into the shadows grew with each passing night. One day, alone with Alex, she had felt the irresistible need to steal someone's hope.
They had been talking, pondering possible ways to free her of the Demon—most were jokes: eat a jalapeno—it'll burn him out! Suddenly, she felt empty and the crushing need to fill her emptiness became overpowering.
Alex seemed to sense the change in her. "Are you okay?" He asked, frowning slightly. He looked at her carefully. "God no!" he breathed, "Do you…? Are you…?"
Kerissa stared at him hungrily. A mortal to suck the hope from. Delicious.
"Crap." Alex stated bluntly. He took her by the arms and forced her to sit down, keeping her from leaping up and finding a mortal to seal to doom. "Kerissa—listen to me! Kerissa… your name is Kerissa! You are a Daughter, you must restore hope!"
Slowly the lights in the back of Kerissa's eyes faded. She was back. "Its power is growing," Kerissa murmured, too weak to move from Alex's hold. She laid her head down in his arms. Her eyes were wet. "I can't fight it… it keeps coming back. Sometimes… sometimes I can feel it in my body, preparing to claw its way out, and I…" she swallowed, but said no more.
Alex could think of nothing to say that could comfort her. "Let's get you home, okay?"
Kerissa nodded, but held back slightly. "One sec…" she murmured. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Shoot."
"Why, why is that you're allowed to be with me? Serena's told me the story of her and Stanton and how they weren't allowed to be together? Why is it that we are? Does the Atrox think that you're going to turn me before the Demon destroys me?"
Alex was silent.
"Well?" Kerissa persisted.
"No." He said, finally. "The Atrox doesn't think that I'm going to turn you. It hopes… but it knows that I won't."
Kerissa laughed.
"What?" Alex asked.
"You said that 'the Atrox hoped'. It can't hope. It doesn't have hope!"
"Yes, it does." Alex looked straight in her eyes. "The Atrox knew what it was doing, Kerissa. Its Followers have no hope, and, therefore, are utterly his. But do you really think that the Atrox would undergo that kind of torture? No, Kerissa, the Atrox has hope. It doesn't often use it, but it still possesses it. Which makes it all the more dangerous."
"How?"
"The Atrox is not driven mad from the hunger of emptiness. You know the feeling; you experienced it a moment ago. It feasts on its victims simply for pleasure."
"You haven't answered my question."
Alex sighed. "The Regulators cannot control me. For two reasons. One, they have no control over one of their own."
Kerissa looked at him sharply. "You're a Regulator?"
"No."
"But-
"I said that they have no control of one of their own, unless commanded. I'm not a Regulator. My father was. I was given a choice, become a Regulator, or die, a mortal.
"I chose death. Power didn't appeal to me—heck, I was thirteen years old, and Stanton's friend. I had power, more than I wanted. I had responsibility, and I didn't care for any more.
"I was left a mortal, despite my father's demands. However, the Atrox made me an invitus before the year was over."
"The Atrox? In person?"
Alex nodded, smiling wryly. "In person. That was when It wasn't confined to the Shadows."
They sat in silence. "Your second reason?" Kerissa reminded Alex.
"They take their orders from me."
"I thought they took their orders from the Prince of the Night, Stanton."
"I take my orders directly from Stanton."
"So you're—
"A Member of the Inner Circle. The First Cincti. I hold more power than any other member of the Inner Circle, or the Chosen. The only Followers with more power are Stanton and the Atrox himself."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Kerissa demanded.
"Was there a reason I had to?" Alex asked, calmly. "I've known Stanton for centuries. I'm Immortal; therefore, I will never die. What more did you need to know? Besides, you have your own worries."
Kerissa grinned. "Too right, I do!"
"You're very cheerful, for someone who knows that they're going to die." Alex remarked.
Kerissa grinned. "I feel an energy spurt coming on."
"Let's hope you still have it for Planet Bang, tonight. Then, maybe, we'll stay out all night dancing." There was a twinkle in Alex's eyes that Kerissa knew meant that he had more in mind than dancing.
"Energetic, I'll be." Kerissa said, in a slow, mocking tone, before hopping up, and pulling him off of the park bench. "Race you home!"
Alex rolled his eyes. "Thanks, but I got to go. Follower junk, you know. See you tonight." He blew her a kiss, and dissolved into shadow.
Kerissa grinned, and left to prepare for Planet Bang.
Hours later, she had picked out the perfect outfit. It was a dress that hugged her curves, while revealing nothing. It had a sweetheart neck, and reached down to about mid-thigh. The entire dress appeared pure white at first glance, then pure black. For some reason, Serena had stared at the dress, inexplicably, and then merely said that she looked nice, in a rather strangled voice.
Matched with white (or maybe they were black?) boots, that reached up her shins, and her hair pulled into a loose ponytail, with small curls framing her face, she felt beautiful. She applied mascara and lip-gloss, and decided that she didn't need the rest. She wore her moon amulet, and tiny black crescents in her ears, representing the dark.
They arrived at Planet Bang, and Kerissa immediately went off with Alex. They spent the next two hours dancing, actually, mainly making out. Kerissa noted, out of the corner of her eye, that Marissa had opted for a near-by corner, and was making out with, as Kerissa surprisedly noted, Derek.
When Vanessa's band began to play, Kerissa and Alex returned to the dance floor. Of course, they would have rather been in their corner, but it was nice to hear Vanessa. After half an hour, the singing contest began.
This always entertained Kerissa. Half the people had no song, and were forced to sing one of Vanessa's or make on up on the spot. Most of the rest were terrible.
"And today's entry is: Kerissa Cauran!" Vanessa yelled. "Come on up, Kerissa!"
Kerissa stood, stunned. "What?" She breathed. "No way. No friggin way."
"Oh well," Alex grinned, and pushed her towards the stage.
"Come on, Kerissa! Are we a little nervous?"
Kerissa glared at her friend. Vanessa was sooo going to pay.
"Do you have a song?" Vanessa asked.
Kerissa glared. "Yes." She snapped, before realizing that she didn't have a song. "Um, play the music for 'Demon Lover'." Kerissa said, in a softer tone, so that the mike wouldn't pick it up.
Vanessa nodded. The band began the opening notes. The crowd snickered. Another person who has no idea what to do. She didn't even have to read their minds. It was written on their faces.
But Kerissa ignored them. She had more important things to do. Namely: create words.
Her cue was coming… think… think… THINK!
It's eating me up inside,
Opening all my closed wounds.
No matter how hard I fight,
The Darkness closes in.
The Light is slowly leaving,
My soul is starting to die.
To give in would be a sin,
But the Darkness closes in.
The Night surrounds my body,
Tearing, and clawing at me,
This thing inside me shouldn't be in,
But the Darkness closes in.
The Demon in me is winning,
I know this as I know you,
Have to fight for a new beginning,
Yet the Darkness closes in.
The Dark side of me,
Is everything I shouldn't be,
All the things that make me hate myself.
The Dark side of me,
Is everything I'm ashamed to see,
Everything I want to hide from you.
How do you know what I'm thinking?
How do you know what I feel?
How do you know what I'm dreaming?
How do I know if you're real?
This, Kerissa realized, was incredibly thrilling. Something about staring at a live audience, who were ready to judge you, and singing your heart out, was strangely exciting. It felt as if a heavy burden had lifted from her shoulders, and, suddenly, Kerissa knew why. She had said what was on her mind, what she had thought for ages, too frightened to say.
How do you know what I'm thinking?
How do you know what I feel?
How do you know what I'm dreaming?
How do I know if you're real…?
The Dark side of me,
Everything I'm ashamed to see,
Everything I want to hide from you.
The Dark side…
The Dark side…
The Dark side… of me…
The song ended to thunderous applause. More than Vanessa generally got. Not that Vanessa cared. She stepped forward, beaming, and addressed the audience.
"Let's give it up for Kerissa! Maybe we have a new addition to our band, what say you?" The crowd roared its approval.
Half an hour later, when the crowd had begun to dissipate, Kerissa managed to leave the stage. Unfortunately, a group of guys surrounded her.
"Loved your song," one breathed, his hand itching towards her.
"Loved you," another snarled, his breath foul in her face.
"Um…yes, but I really must be going…" Kerissa searched for signs of Alex.
"Oh, no, Goddess, I don't think you're going anywhere."
Kerissa froze. "What did you just call me?"
"Goddess."
Kerissa flinched.
"What, goddess? Do you hate your name? Goddess…"
They were grinning, moving in, closer, like predators, coming in for the kill.
Help! She screamed, throwing out a call to the Daughters.
Oh, no… Goddess. You won't be getting any help. They were steering her towards the door. It's just you and us. You and us… they cackled gleefully, pulling Kerissa outside, out into the night.
No! Kerissa screamed.
Their minds were crowding into hers. Devouring, tearing, gleefully. Their hands were all over her body… had to get out… no! Leave me ALONE! She pushed at them, but their were too many. There seemed to be more every second.
Something hard hit her head, and she collapsed, unconscious.