Please read and review! In addition to just plain loving reviews, I find them helpful in terms of structuring the rest of the story.

NOTE ON NAMES: In the manga and the subtitled anime, Mokuba invariably refers to Kaiba as Nisama. However, that could get confusing, with two of them. So although, when speaking to them, he continues to call them both Nisama, in his thoughts he uses the following names:

Nisama: refers to the 18 year-old Seto Kaiba

Oniichan: refers to the 13 year old Seto Kaiba. Oniichan is a more affectionate, less forma way of saying Big Brother. I thought it was more in character than having him use Seto, even in his thoughts.

CHAPTER 10: ZEN AND THE ART OF MOTORCYCLE MAINTENANCE

SUGOROKU'S POV

It's part of being old – getting up early. But if teenagers are supposed to sleep late, no one had ever bothered telling Seto Kaiba. Often I would find one or both in the kitchen or on the porch, watching the sun rise. This time it was Kaiba who came down and poured himself the cup of coffee that seemed to be his only breakfast. We ignored each other as usual. And yet, there was no animosity to it. It was as if he didn't realize that more conversation was required than a grunt as he entered the room. And he was so silent, it was easy to forget he was there. Although I admit that I didn't sit with my back towards him.

Besides, Yugi was absorbing my thoughts. Years ago, I had given him a puzzle to solve to cheer him up, to give him something to think about besides the bullies at his school. Giving him the pieces had felt right. I never really expected him to assemble it; and I was certainly unprepared for all that had followed.

When I thought of his friends… of the way he had grown, I was glad. But when I thought of Pegasus, of Malik, of DOMA… sometimes I wished I had thrown the puzzle into the Nile, rather than bring it home. Yugi and his friends thought it was all an adventure. They were teenagers. I doubt they believed that they could die… But I was the one left at home, worrying. I sighed.

" I suppose I should be grateful he's not rebellious, like other kids," I said to myself.

"Should you?" Kaiba's voice was cool, mildly challenging. "Isn't that what teenagers are supposed to do – rebel?" he continued, for all the world as though he wasn't a teenager himself.

"Did you?" I asked, curiously.

His smile bared his teeth. "I'm popularly supposed to have pushed my adoptive father out a window. Isn't that rebellion enough?"

"Did you?" It said a lot about Kaiba that one had to ask.

"No. But I wish I had," he said absentmindedly.

"What happened?"

"We were fighting for Kaiba Corporation. The winner would take control. The loser would die. Those were the stakes." He spoke as calmly as if they had bet a beer on the outcome of a baseball game. No wonder he never played for fun.

"What if you were the one who had lost?"

"The same. Only mine would have been a living death. Sort of what I got for winning." He noticed my look of shock; shrugged irritably. "Why bother lying? And if I didn't talk to people I'd tried to kill, I'd have no one left to talk to."

I suppose it was his way of apologizing. He surprised me by returning to his earlier comment, as if it had never really left his mind. "If Mokuba ever talked back to me, ever yelled, ever stormed out of the house… well, I guess I'd be angry. But I'd also be proud. It would mean he was all right. That he felt safe. I'd know I'd finally kept my promise to him."

I stared. Whatever I'd been expecting to come out of his mouth – this wasn't it. I had started by hating the boy. After learning about Noa's World, I'd pitied him. But this was the first time I'd ever respected him.

I had a sudden impulse to hug those tense shoulders; to say something comforting. But one look at that expressionless face, the hooded eyes… and I knew any words of mine would be an intrusion. I got up to give him another cup of coffee instead.

I still thought he was a terrible boy. But I had just been reminded that a terrible boy is still a child.

MOKUBA'S POV

Everyone was afraid he was going to bully me. I admit – he was high-handed and overbearing – not to mention overprotective. But he hadn't changed much in that regard – so I thought it was pretty funny when Nisama objected.

"You shouldn't let him boss you around," he said.

I sighed. Nisama felt the need to defend me, even from himself. Especially from himself.

"He's not. He thinks he's protecting me," I explained patiently, as if Nisama was Kouma's age.

"He's even more of a big brother than you are," I added laughing, "I don't think he knows I'm not eight any more. Then again, I wonder that about you, too."

"Do you mind?" he asked. I wasn't sure which one he was referring to – himself or Oniichan.

"No," I answered, hugging him (After all, if Oniichan could stand it, so could he). "I'm used to my overprotective big brother… both of them. And it's kind of nice. I bet when I'm 85 and you're 90, you'll still be bossing me from your wheelchair… and you'll still be my Nisama."

That made him smile, a little. But the truth was – he looked on Oniichan as a war criminal… and my betrayer. Both descriptions were, to borrow my brother's phrase, technically accurate… but neither was true.

Oniichan had created those weapons – he just didn't know it yet. And he had tried to kill me. He didn't know that either. If he had asked me about those missing five years, I would have told him. But although he had picked up on the fact that something important had happened, he hadn't asked.

My brother was never afraid for himself. He lived on the edge of terror for me. He didn't want to know what the future held, if it held him hurting me. Without giving him all the details he didn't want to hear, I tried to show him that it had worked out okay, that I was happy, that I loved him. All of which was technically accurate… and true.

I was proud that he liked being with me; that he looked for me every time he came in the house. And this preference for my company, made it easy to lure him outside. Of course, I had an ulterior motive. I had a list in my head of all the things he had never been able to do, when he was my age. And I knew which was first.

Oniichan knew how to drive, of course. Gozaburo had seen that he was taught – although he hadn't approved of Nisama's reckless driving style, or his excessive speed. But he hadn't objected either, after Nisama had said with his cold sneer, "I could moderate my speed, if it makes you afraid. If you want to tell the world that you don't think your heir can control a vehicle, even after being taught."

I knew that whatever penalty Gozaburo had imposed later was worth it to Nisama for the tacit permission to come as close to flying as he could, while still on the ground. Not that Gozaburo ever got into a car with Nisama behind the wheel. He knew that the temptation of arranging a fiery, fatal crash would have been too much for my brother.

But Oniichan had never been on a motorcycle – and his eyes lit up when he saw mine. Nisama had taught himself, and then me – back when I was only a couple of years older that Kouma. He had never quite gotten the hang of driving age limits – or any other societal restriction for that matter – a quirk I was usually grateful for.

All my old motorcycles – the ones that had been custom built for my height – were still in the garage. My brother refused to discard or sell them. Most people settle for saving baby shoes. Only Nisama would hang on to outgrown motorcycles as a memento.

"This is so cool." Oniichan said, stroking the motorcycle, as if it was a pet. "Except for the color," he added, looking with dissatisfaction at the bright yellow paint job and the glittering, gold sparkles that made my motorcycle shine like the sun..

"I bet you like that one better," I said, pointing to Nisama's latest toy. It was huge, powerful and all black – even the chrome had been darkened.

"Yeah," he said, not taking his eyes off the larger motorcycle. "That his?"

"He just got it. It's funny – I swear he'd wear the same clothes every day. For all that he listens to music, I think he's tone deaf. He never spends money on games or movies or vacations or books – except for me – but he can't resist anything that moves.

Oniichan just nodded. At last, Nisama had done something he wholeheartedly approved of; had given him something to look forward to. I was relieved he didn't seem about to try and ride the thing. It was way too much bike for him to handle, given his size, and the fact that he had never been on one before. And Nisama would cheerfully have risked the consequences of murdering his past self, if he had caught Oniichan touching it. But I wasn't about to mention those little details. Still, I thought distracting him would probably be a good idea.

"C'mon," I said. "We can take turns on my bike. I'll show you how to ride it. It'll be fun."

I had never seen my brother's mouth drop open before; his eyes open wide with shock. Then again, I had never been in a position to teach him anything before. I couldn't help it. I giggled at the look on his face – and was rewarded with another first – a slight flush hit both cheekbones.

His eyes narrowed. He reacted instinctively as if to a threat. He took a step towards me. I put on my most innocent face, the one that had me looking as young as Kouma. He stopped, shook his head, as if to clear it of his sudden rage.

He scrunched his nose the way Kouma did when he was puzzled, the way I still did sometimes. (This was turning into a day I'd never forget.)

"Did that sound as weird to you as it did to me?" he finally asked.

"Even weirder," I assured him. "Look, Nisama taught himself. I can just leave you the motorcycle, if you want to practice on your own."

"No," he said, almost shyly. (At least I would have thought it was shy if it had been anyone but my brother.) "I'd like you to teach me."

"I won't tell anyone," I promised. It was nice having a fun secret to share. The kind of secret any two kids might have. One that didn't involve scar tissue.

Nisama had built a track just for me. He kept changing it as I grew taller and got more experience. Oniichan and I took turns driving. First he rode behind me so he could see what I was doing. Then I hung on behind him, yelling instructions, which he followed instantly – all except for the direction to ease up on the gas, which he ignored. Soon we were flying over the track. He was handling its curves with ease, we were leaning into them as if we were one. It was kind of neat having a Nisama that was my size. His face was flushed with pleasure when we stopped. It looked almost unfamiliar. For the first time, I really believed that he was 13… the same age as me.

I had always known my brother was a quick learner, but it was different seeing him in action. It was frightening. Within a week, he was as good a rider as I. Within two weeks, he was better. I should have expected it. It was more than just being an over-intense perfectionist. Cars, planes and motorcycles (not to mention computers) all spoke to him. And he was clearly more comfortable with their language than any of the seven human ones he knew. He was also more coordinated than I would ever be, and had faster reflexes. On the other hand, no one had ever taken a slice out of my side for being too slow to react.

Nisama had built a track for me. He had built another one for himself. I hadn't tried it… yet. It was too tough for me, and tempting as it was, I didn't really feel like landing in the dirt. Of course Oniichan couldn't resist it, after all – it was his design.

"It's there waiting for us," he said.

"Yeah, Nisama will be waiting too – with some choice words when we crash, and have to push a wrecked motorcycle back to the house."

"Who said I'm going to crash?"

I smiled at his unconscious (but correct) assumption that he would be the one driving.

"You don't even know the track. Neither do I, really. It's Nisama's track. I've never even been on it alone. I've only gone on it sitting behind him."

Of course he pounced on the loophole.

"You've been on the track with Seto Kaiba before, haven't you? That's all you'll be doing now." He tapped his chest. "Here's Seto Kaiba standing right in front of you. You said it yourself – it's your Nisama's track." He gave me the kind of wheedling look I had spent my life throwing his way. He wasn't bad at it either. But it was the cocky grin that got me. I would have done anything to make it last.

I shook my head. Boy, was he a bad influence.

"Works for me," I said. "Just try not to trash the bike. I don't feel like walking back."

We tore around the course, me sitting behind him, holding on for dear life. Over the wind, I could hear his laughter. When he finally stopped for a minute, his eyes were shinning, his whole body radiated excitement. Had he ever looked like this before? If he had ever been this happy, I had been too young to notice. And when I was older, when I kept my eyes trained on him, searching for signs of pleasure or enjoyment, they had faded, if they had ever existed at all. But I had always clung to the belief that this joy was in him somewhere. The closest it had ever come to escaping was when he was behind the controls of his Blue Eyes jet.

The final time, Oniichan took the track almost as fast as Nisama did. We seemed to fly even higher. I have to give him credit, we might have come close, but we didn't crash.

AUTHOR'S NOTES

As much as I like being a tease, I hate disappointing people, so I feel like apologizing after each chapter for not managing to get Yami and Kaiba in bed with each other (sorry, gomen ne, saila ni – the last is Elvish), especially as the story is rated R. so people have a reasonable expectation of more action..

But it made me realize something interesting about fanfiction. I mean we all know these guys, have our own opinions on them – and if you're reading this you probably know (in your heart kind of know) that Kaiba and Yami belong together. Me, too. But then I realized something. I know they belong together… but at this moment… these two particular versions of Yami and Kaiba do NOT know they are destined for each other (and Kaiba doesn't believe in destiny, anyway.) Well, okay, maybe Yami thinks they are, but at the moment Kaiba is clueless. Kagemihari once called all slightly different versions of each character that we come up with, refractions of the same color. So all though there's an archetypal Yami and Seto out there who are destined for each other, these particular refractions need more time. Sorry, gomen, saila ni.

Sugoroku: It was interesting writing from the perspective of a much older person, who is often left behind, waiting and worrying. Also, since so much of this story deals with childhood, I though it would be interesting to show things from the point of view of someone old enough to consider Kaiba a child. In the manga, he refers to Kaiba as a "terrible boy," and in the anime, there's an indication that he wants Yugi to beat him, in part to teach him about the heart of the cards, an intention that is certainly generous, although in the manga, he is considerable angrier and more interested in punishing Kaiba.

I also realized that I probably added Sugoroku to my list of narrators (besides the fact he's fun to write) because he's kind of an antidote to Gozaburo. I mean so many of the father figures in this story, like Gozaburo and Akunadin are abusive, so Sugoroku was almost necessary as a counter balance, emotionally.

Seto and Mokuba: I think Seto would be very slow to recognize that Mokuba is not a child. I also think that where Kaiba is always mindful of the fact that they have to go back and that they won't remember any of this, Mokuba might have an easier time overlooking it and focusing on the here and now. I think Mokuba would really be trying to bring out a younger, lighter side of Seto, and using everything he knows about his brother to get him to enjoy himself

CORRECTION: I knew I wasn't going to get through this story without mislabeling at least one Seto or Kaiba POV. Thanks to Karachi for pointing out that the last POV in Chapter 9 should have been labeled KAIBA'S POV. I corrected it when I added this chapter.

REPSONSES:

Seto and nickname: (Desidera, Karachi) I don't know that this gets addressed directly, but I think Kaiba summed up Seto's feelings on being called Koryuu – that being named after a dragon (even a little dragon) was acceptable. Kaiba, and by implication, Seto, has a bit more to say on names, later on.

Kaiba, Kaiba and Yami: (Kagemihari, laura m, Moonlitspire, neko-chan Tainted Fortune) Thanks – I try very hard to stay in character, yet here I'm trying to do it without totally repeating myself, but to find new things to look at, or look at some old themes in a slightly different way. In some ways, these guys are very similar to the characters in "I Guess it was in the Cards" because there are some things that I think of as being essential to the character, so they stay the same in everything I write. Their earlier conversations do highlight their similarities. But as the story continues, I think the differences between the two versions will become clearer, as will the differences in their relationship. As I said earlier, I'm sorry for the long wait, but it is a long story, and there will be plenty of Yami and Seto as a couple, later.

Jounouchi and Seto: (Ceribi Motou, Desidera, Kagemihari, Moonlitspire, QueenOfGames2) In the subtitled anime, there's a scene after Jounouchi duels Kaiba, where he tries to explain to him that he knows what it's like to be so angry that you lash out at everyone around you, and he remembers how he had picked on Yugi, until Yugi stood up for him. He goes on to talk about how he'd be a different person, if Yugi wasn't around to teach him about friendship. So I think that when faced with a younger version of Seto, he might be reminded of the angry child he had been. I don't think of Jounouchi as dumb… I think he's someone who has always used this tough guy thing as a cover… so I think he would be able to draw parallels between himself and Seto. But I also see him as doing this reluctantly – as not wanting to admit he kind of feels for Seto. And I think he realizes that Seto isn't capable of drawing the same conclusions about him (neither is Kaiba for that matter). As he says, Seto looks on everyone as a potential enemy, and neither knows or cares what a friend is. The next chapter starts to give a look at how Seto feels about the crowd at the mansion.

Childhood: (Ceribi Motou, Kagemihari) I think of Kaiba as not having so much lost his childhood, as having sacrificed or renounced it. So one of the things that intrigued me about this idea, was having him meet the child who he sacrificed, and yet in a sense, meeting the child who also endorsed this decision.

DOMA: (CM Aeris Queen of Insanity, Neko-chan) I've only seen DOMA up to the part where Yami and Seto are breaking into Kaiba Corporation. I love it when they're facing all these monsters, and Yami starts talking about how they really exist, and Kaiba looks at him as says something like: This is so stupid. Let's go for it. Then they both start grinning like mad. Although I don't know the details of the rest of the arc, I have tried to work the emotions into this story. And thank you, I have tried to give this story a sense of being part of a history, even when most of the history is my own invention or interpretations.

Thanks to Mistal: The Poisoned One for continued encouragement. When you're starting a long story, it's wonderful to know that people are reading it, and sticking with it.