Please read and review! In addition to just plain loving reviews, I find them helpful in terms of structuring the rest of the story.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Kaiba clearly feels guilty over his role in designing weapons, although the manga indicates that he was tricked into it. In Noa's Arc in the subtitled anime they have Kaiba designing a video game that gets used as a weapon. I think however, it's more likely that he was designing weapons while believing that it was just an academic exercise -- that maybe he was so used to being ordered around, and so sleep deprived, that he didn't think further than showing Gozaburo up by completing the assignments on schedule.
ANIME NOTE: In Noa's Arc, Mokuba gives Seto a deck on their first night in the mansion. It includes a BEWD that Mokuba has drawn for him. The card gives him hope, and he swears to be worthy of owning the real ones. There is a real sense that he looks on those cards as the proof of his own value as a human being. The first dragon that he gets his hands on, is of course, Sugoroku's BEWD (which was given to him by his friend and is a symbol of that friendship for Sugoroku) which he destroys, either (manga) at Death-T, or (anime)before his Exodia duel with Yugi.
MARTIAL ARTS NOTE: I've always found Kaiba's proficiency at martial arts interesting. His skill implies, besides natural ability, years of training. Beyond that, I think, with it's emphasis on self discipline, and simplicity of action; as well as the way practicing it can become almost a form of meditation – martial arts would be emotionally important for Kaiba. I realize that no one person could become proficient in as many martial arts disciplines as I portray Kaiba as being (then again, people don't live in puzzles, either), but I think different branches illustrate different sides of his personality. I've listed the different martial arts terms used, below:
KATA: A series of choreographed moves designed to show different techniques.
BO or BO STAFF: This is basically a long stick, about the height of the person using it. The type of Bo I picture Kaiba using is a modern one – it would be six feet long, about the diameter of a broom stick, with tapered ends. Using mostly two-handed (with some one-handed and release moves) the person makes sweeping, slashing and thrusting moves very quickly.
HAMBO: This is a three foot stick that is used for various striking and chopping moves. Typically used for kata, not sparring – and only a single Hambo is used as opposed to the one in each hand method I described here. But I really could picture the guys getting into whacking at each other with it.
DAI KATANA: Samurai swords are generically, Katanas. The Dai Katana is the longest sword, over 30 inches in length. Given Kaiba's height, I thought it would be the most appropriate.
CHAPTER 11: ENTER THE DRAGON
SETO'S POV
For the first time in my life, I didn't crave sleep. I wanted to stay up all night, so I could work on my video game. I suppose it wasn't just my game – other people were working on it… Kaiba had even insisted that I learn their names. But it felt like mine. And I was the one they came to with their problems – not because Kaiba told them to – but because I knew the answers.
There were two main flaws left. The first was the more easily solved. The game simply didn't look quite right. It didn't give you the feeling of being in Ancient Egypt. I wanted to design something good enough that Kaiba would turn it into a Virtual Reality game. So I needed to know the details of that time and place: how people moved, how the folds of their robes hung, what they ate, how they fought, what they would fight for… how they felt. Luckily, I had a source – someone who would do anything to convince me that he was my friend, someone who would tell me anything I wanted to know… someone who had lived there.
The second problem was harder to solve and more nebulous. It concerned the characters. Oh, not the guys themselves – they looked great. You could chose from a real range of alter egos: a mischievous imp, like the Monkey King of Chinese legend, recreated as a boy; an over-muscled action hero; a fairy tale prince; and my favorite, a tall blue-eyed Elven warrior, graceful and deadly. You could even choose to be a villain: an evil sorcerer, or his demonic King. The problem was, once you picked your role – hero or villain – you couldn't change. And I couldn't accept that, even in play. The most innocent of decisions: to protect a brother; to play the role of David battling Goliath; can spiral out of control. Even people trying to play the hero can fall into darkness, can let evil into their hearts without realizing it – and the decisions that lead to their downfall can as slow and as impossible to alter as the turning of the tide. At least, that was the way my script had always run. But I looked at Kaiba and had a faint hope that it might not be the only ending possible. That my game should give its characters the chance to try for some sort of redemption. But I didn't know enough to work out the schematics on my own. If I wanted to fix my program, as much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't do it without Kaiba.
It might have been standard role playing stuff to everyone else, but it was the first thing I had designed that was actually going to be produced... at least I hoped that none of the weapons I had designed for Gozaburo had ever seen the light of day. I remembered the diagrams of my latest assignment. I had found them on Gozaburo's computer – along with production figures and profit projections, when I had been looking for money to embezzle. I had only gotten a quick glance… too quick to be sure of what I had seen. And I shied away from its implications. I didn't want to think about what it would mean if it wasn't simply a homework assignment, if it wasn't simply another one of Gozaburo's games… if those missiles were being produced for real. I shrugged. Either way, there was nothing I could do about it right now. I was here, and Kaiba had erased Gozaburo's shadow from his corporation, even if it still lay behind his eyes.
But if work, surprisingly, was a refuge – home, as usual, was a different story; although for unexpected reasons. There were all these people around. They bothered Kaiba as much as me, yet he refused to ask them to leave. He had answered me tersely, saying that he owed Yugi, although what he could have owed that little shrimp was beyond me. I suppose it was good to know that I still believed in paying my debts.
But I couldn't believe that was all there was to it, because he ignored Yugi almost as much as the other freeloaders; preferring to focus on his Yami. That I understood almost all too well. Power is compelling. After all, it was no accident that I had picked Gozaburo, or that he had picked me. But this was different. For the first time, as I looked at Yami, I realized that power is not only compelling, but seductive; that the true danger, as always, was locked within my own heart.
Yami had an air of authority, an air of danger. I looked at him and wanted to challenge him, wanted to smudge that cool surface, and not just with my deck. I wanted him thrown and flustered and knowing it was me that got him that way. That part of the picture was cool. It was the feelings that came along with it, that bugged the hell out of me. Against my better judgment, I didn't just want power over him… I wanted him. I wanted him to notice me, to look at me when he thought I wasn't looking, to think of me before he fell asleep, to wake up with a start… dreaming of me. And that gave him a power of sorts too. A power I would never willingly grant.
I was drawn to him… as if he was an electromagnet, and I was made of iron. And Kaiba was no better at resisting Yami's attraction. If anything he was worse, seemed more open to surrendering to his pull.
It was strange. I hated seeing in Kaiba's face the proof of how cold I had become. But every time he did something that showed there was a human being in there – that scared me worse.
Like at lunch. We were all eating together, even the moochers, although Kaiba was mainly drinking coffee. I looked around the dining room. "Where are the masks?" I asked suddenly, referring to the ancient porcelain masks I still privately compared to his expressionless face. Gozaburo had been proud of them. I was glad they were gone.
Kaiba tightened his lips, but didn't say anything. Mokuba answered in his place, "Nisama returned them."
"Where to?" Yugi asked.
"Beijing,"Kaiba answered. "They were part of an illegal excavation. I sent them back. I want nothing I can not claim legitimately."
"Watch it, Kaiba. Some one might think you actually have a conscience," laughed the blonde boy.
I shivered internally. "A conscience is a trap for weaklings." I could hear Gozaburo's voice, feel his hand across my face to drive the message home. I remembered all right… following a heart, a sense of honor was the greatest weakness – and I had just forced Kaiba to reveal his.
I tried to make amends.
"Smart move. I bet you got a lot of publicity for Kaiba Corporation, all for the price of a few masks. I bet the suckers bought it up, along with your duel disks. 1.29 billion people. That's a lot of potential sales."
Kaiba nodded. "It was."
Everyone looked at their plates… looked anywhere but at us. I wasn't sure if they believed us. Actually I was proud of him. I was sure his first answer was the true one. I wondered if he had regretted either his brief openness, or my interruption… but it was impossible to tell. His face was impassive, once again.
Mokuba leaned over, gave me a brief hug, "It's okay," he said. "These people care about him. They'd be his friends, if he'd let them. You're safe here. Let him test the waters a little."
I shook my head. This place confused me. At times I hated it. I had always been the smart one. When had Mokuba become so wise?
YAMI'S POVAt first I thought it was a kata. It was graceful enough to be choreographed; they weren't wearing protective gear; they were fighting with sticks. Each wielded a pair of three foot Hambo sticks.
I looked closer and realized they were fighting for real. Kaiba seemed to be pulling his strikes a little – although occasionally hitting hard enough to leave bruises. Seto, however, either couldn't control the force of his blows, or wasn't bothering to try. It was only Kaiba's superior experience – and his adult size, strength and speed, that kept him in one piece. Every now and then, a blow broke through his guard – whether by accident or design was impossible to tell.
I looked at their faces. It was the happiest I had seen either of them, except when they looked at Mokuba.
They fought with an almost feral intensity, the air between them charged, hissing with the speed of their strikes. By the time they were finished they were dripping with sweat. Kaiba put his hand of Seto's shoulder as they put away the Hambos. It was the first time they had touched. They replaced them with the longer, single Bo Staff, each cut exactly to its user's height. Instead of facing each other as opponents, they stood in line, and as one person began practicing Kata. They were no less intense, but now the focus was inward.
They moved in perfect unison through the choreographed moves. The Bo Staves rising and falling as one; slicing, slashing, thrusting -- the beauty of the moves disguising their deadly accuracy. They were perfectly positioned, Seto in front; Kaiba directly behind him like a late afternoon's shadow.
They finally finished, and Seto left, presumably to shower. I stayed to watch Kaiba. He had put away the Bo Staff. Chose a long sword, a Dai Katana, from the many weapons that were neatly arranged on the walls; and began a sword kata. He went through the series of dance-like movements, the lights shining off the blade as he shifted positions, as he spun and caught it, knife edge flashing. At times the blade was a blur, almost like a video character using a lightning strike. I could only be glad they hadn't decided to spar with that. As I looked at his control I realized – he had let Seto hit him on purpose.
"Why did you let him break through your guard?" I asked when Kaiba had finally stopped.
"Because I refuse to blunt his edge."
"Was he actually trying to kill you?"
He shrugged. "Maybe. I don't like him much either. But I doubt it. He just doesn't know how to fight, except to the death. He's never learned to respond to a challenge except with all the firepower he can muster."
"Don't you think you should teach him that there's a better way?"
"Right now, he needs to strike back with everything in him, at any threat, great or small. He's not ready for the lesson you want to teach him – and he won't be… not until he meets you again at Death-T. You can teach him whatever you want, then."
SUGOROKU'S POVI had grown used to meeting a Kaiba in the kitchen. I enjoyed guessing which one it would be. This morning Seto was down first.
He shifted through his cards, stopped at the hand drawn one. Traced it with his finger. I could feel the connection between them. How had we missed how strongly his heart beat with his cards? Or had he hidden it that well?
"Some day I'll have the real ones," he said, half to himself, staring at Mokuba's dragon.
"Why is that so important to you?" I asked.
"Are you crazy, old man? They're the most powerful cards in the game."
"Tell him the truth," Kaiba commanded. Neither of us had heard him come in.
Seto looked up. Received an implacable look in return.
"Why should I?"
"Because one day, you'll owe him an answer."
"Whose debt am I paying? Mine, or yours?"
"Does it matter?" The weariness in Kaiba's voice defeated Seto.
"Okay, old man." He said defiantly, passionately, "They're a part of me… I can hear them urging me on, telling me that one day I'll be worthy of being their keeper…I can feel them singing in my blood. They're free. They rise above every thing… meet every challenge."
"They can be beaten." I pointed out.
"But they'll never surrender." he countered. "Wherever they are, they'll call to me, and I'll find them. One day, I'll have all four in my hands."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's embarrassing to admit how far along with this story I was before I realized that if Kaiba loves Yami (whether he's ready to recognize that or not) then Seto would feel the same. In fact, at 13, without ever having anyone (besides Mokuba, who's his brother, after all) to lavish his deep capacity for love on, Seto is really poised to fall fast and hard. Of course, being Seto, he'd find this threatening, so I think there'd be a considerable amount of anger and aggression mixed in with his feelings.
For a character who insists that the cards are nothing more than pieces of paper, Kaiba is the character who often seems the most in tune with his monsters – particularly the BEWD, which he has referred to as his pride and soul, and his loyal servant. I've always found it interesting that he flinches and looks away whenever one is destroyed, yet in the times when he believes he is giving up his own life, as in his duel with Pegasus, or with Yugi at Duelist's Kingdom, or in the tag team match against Lumos and Umbra, he faces his opponents head on. It also occurred to me, that given how Kaiba feels about the BEWD, he might have considered all of then "his" even the one Sugoroku owned, which he thought of as the reminder of his friendship with Rebecca's grandfather.
RESPONSES TO REVIEWSNote on Names: (Ecogoth) In the manga and subtitled anime, Mokuba invariably refers to Seto Kaiba as Nisama. AS there are two Seto Kaibas here, that could get too confusing. So I have Mokuba, at least in his thoughts) refer to the 13 year old Seto as "Oniichan" which is a more affectionate way of saying Big Brother.
Sugoroku and Kaiba: (Ceribi Motou, Desidera, laura m, Moonlitspire) One of the things I love about fanfic is that you get to bring together characters who may not have gotten a chance to know each other in the canon. And there are some interesting parallels and contrasts between Sugoroku and Kaiba. The most powerful tie they have is that they have both raised children. And yet, Sugoroku is the only character old enough to also think of Kaiba as a child. I think Sugoroku would be resigned to a little teenage rebellion on Yugi's part – whereas Kaiba (although he would be the one far more likely to lose his temper) would also be, I think pleased at this "proof" of how normal Mokuba was. What makes this ironic – is that although at times, Kaiba sounds as old as Sugoroku,(hell, at times he sounds as old as Yami) he's really Yugi's age.
Mokuba, Seto and Motorcycles: (Ceribi Motou, Desidera, Mistal: The Poisoned One, Moonlitspire, samurai ashes, Tokemi) I can picture Mokuba gleefully plotting to trick Seto into having a good time, and using everything he knows about his brother to that end. Although I agree that Seto would never truly be able to be a child, despite Mokuba's efforts. Motorcycles: I love the scene in Noa's Arc where Kaiba races off on a motorcycle. And I can certainly picture either version being into the whole speed and danger aspect. And it gave Seto the chance to be a "bad influence" in a fun sort of way.
Titles: (anonymous) Every now and then I wonder why I thought using a book, movie or song title as a chapter heading was a good idea. I wonder this a lot on Wednesdays when I realize that I can't post until I've settled on a new title! But somehow, it feels like part of the story to me. I try to think about what the chapter's about and then match it. I end up wandering the aisles at Barnes & Noble a lot (well, okay, I do that anyway – but now I have an excuse) and video stores looking for appropriate titles. I admit I haven't read all the books (the Brothers Kasamazov comes to mind as one example) but I try to find something that fits, or at least makes a bad pun. The story title, by the way, is a Yogi Berra quote.
Different voices: (anonymous, Leland Lancaster) Thank you. Part of the reason I write first person POVs is that I like trying to show, not just what the characters are saying, but how they would say it – because that's also part of who they are. Some voices, like Sugoroku, Mokuba and Seto are easier than others – although with Mokuba I have to keep reminding myself to keep the sentence structure and vocabulary simpler. Keeping Yami and Kaiba's voices separate is probably hardest, because I see them as both, in slightly different ways, being thoughtful and as eloquent as I can make them; although I try for a simplicity to Kaiba's sentences, and a more obvious poetry for Yami.
Spelling/Grammar: (anonymous) Corrections always welcome. Sometimes my grammatical errors are deliberate, as I have a fondness for using sentence fragments for emphasis. I also will use incorrect grammar if I feel it reflects a character's voice, like Jounouchi's for example. Often, though, it's just ignorance. I went through an entire 30 chapter story without realizing that when using quotation marks, you're supposed to use a comma not a period, if you're continuing the sentence outside of the quotation marks by using a phrase like he said. Whew, even repeating it is confusing me… Anyway, I try to correct mistakes like that when I update.
Story Direction: (Ecogoth) I love guessing where stories are headed, and as a writer (boy, did that feel weird to say) I like trying to keep the reader guessing. So please, when we get to the end, tell me if you guessed right about where the story was going! It's going to take a while, though.
Differences: (laura m) Thank you! I've been trying not to repeat myself, but to look at different facets of Kaiba and Yami in this story. One of the main differences is that whereas in "I Guess it was in the Cards" Yami was more ambivalent about being separate from Yami, and more haunted by his lost memories, here he wants to be separate, but is very guilty about discovering this following his betrayal of Yugi at DOMA. In a way, it gives him much more in common with Kaiba. I also see this Kaiba as having been influenced by Alcatraz and DOMA. He understands that he has to let go of his anger and hatred, and is trying to do so. Ironically, I think as he lets go of his anger about the past, it may start to come alive for him more – even without Seto as a reminder.
Yami x Seto: (Leland Lancaster, Mistal: The Poisoned One) Thank you. I'm trying to give the sense of these two getting to know each other, and coming together, without being fully aware of it – at least on Kaiba's part. I can safely promise, by the way, that this won't turn into a KaiJou.
DOMA: (C.M. Aeris Queen of Insanity) I agree – the scene with Rebecca was pretty funny.