Author's note: Hey peps, been a while. Guess you could say I died, sure feels like I did. Between work school and havin a semi-exciting social life I've been rather busy. Hopefully this makes up for it and you can all forgive me and enjoy.

-.-

Chapter 45

The two friends had decided against Kelly's, as it was usually very busy there. So the sat on a park bench, coffee in hand as they watched the children play on the slides. It had been so long since either of them had seen the naive smile, the innocent laugh of children playing, years in fact. Both their kids were quite grown, rather independent, and oh so secretive. It was like once kids hit a certain age they no longer needed anyone but themselves.

"I miss it," Carly sadly spoke. "Coming to the park, playing with my boys. I never thought I would see the day Michael would marry, and Morgan would be his father's son the way he is. It scares me so much."

"They're good boys. You don't need to worry so much," Courtney breathed.

"Oh but I do. I mean what happens when Morgan gets shot, or Michael and Kristina start having marital problems. I don't want them to end up like Sonny and I."

"You and Sonny aren't that bad. He loves you, your sons. He's just not good at showing it, at getting over himself. When he's right, he's right," Courtney lightly laughed.

"Gee, like someone else I know," Carly, commented looking her friend square in the eyes.

"Trying to tell me something?"

"Yes, but in all actuality Sonny and I aren't that close. I mean we can't be. Not after what he said."

"Are we talking about last night now," Courtney questioned as she looked at the ground remembering her own experience last night.

"If you want to. I'm not in the best sharing mood, but what Sonny said really got to me," Carly spoke, as she looked at her worried and sad friend, "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"I guess neither one of us had a great night. Tell me what Sonny did," A tearful Courtney asked.

"Oh he was your everyday pompous jackass, blaming me because he didn't know about Emma," Carly said as tearful laugh escaped her lips.

"It was never your fault Carly. You were, you are a good friend. You should've never had to keep my secrets. I'm surprised you kept them this long," Courtney laughed.

"Do you know how hard it was? I just wanted to scream it at the top of my lungs, tell them all I had a niece that I was ready to spoil rotten. Then you talked to me, told me your side, looked me in the eye," Carly said as her eyes focused on her friend, "I understand why you left. I wish I could have done it. Left so Sonny could have the family he wanted."

"Carly, You never would have been able to leave," Courtney said calmly, " Sonny would have hunted you down. If not for you, then for the boys."

"You wanted him to come after you," Carly said as more of a statement.

Courtney let out a mumble as she looked off in the distance. Had she wanted them to come after her? Did she really want them to beg her to come home? She wasn't sure. She knew she loved him, loved them both, but she just wanted them happy, and if she hadn't left, she was afraid Jason would have come to her out of obligation. That he would have stayed and been unhappy. She didn't want that for any of them, and in all truth, her life was never that bad, she had Emma.

"I wanted them to be happy," Courtney spoke as she dried the last of her tears.

"Jason would have been happy with you, with Emma. He would have been so happy with a family, with his own family."

"Maybe, but he hates me now, so it doesn't matter," Courtney said as she quickly stood. "Look, I just remembered something that I needed to do. I'll talk to you later, maybe call and make plans."

"Why would you…" Carly began but was quickly cut off by her friend walking away.

Carly watched as Courtney quickly walked off into the distance. The sudden mention of Jason, her daughter's father had seemed to rattle Courtney to the core. Carly understood that she was upset with him after the hallway incident at the towers, but she hardly thought Jason hated Courtney. Carly knew there was more than what Courtney was saying, and she was determined to figure it out. Standing she grabbed her purse and walked off in the opposite direction, and off to find her best friend.

-.-

"Thanks," Emma said coolly, and harshly as she pushed her way between the two mob men and towards the door.

The room stayed silent as all eyes followed the crying blonde as she stormed out of the restaurant. Her words lingered in the air as a wave of confusion swept over them all. What had she meant? Was what she said even true? Did they even want to know what she meant?

Cassie felt the tears building in her eyes as she watched her. She had finally snapped. Her best friend had finally lost her calm, the cool façade she put on that made the world think she was in control when the only thing she really controlled was her intake of air, and Cassie knew that even breathing felt so far away from Emma. Cassie wasn't sure what she was going to do as her eyes locked with the two men at the door.

"She had it right you know. All of it was true. She doesn't have it in her to lie," Cassie spoke as her eyes locked on to the steal blue eyes of the blonde.

"Oh we all know she's a lying little tramp," Sam spat in her drunken slur of words.

"Yes, Emily Caroline Mathews Morgan is a liar, or so you all would wish. I mean hell that would make all of your lives easier. You could blame her life on her, or her mother when in reality it's all your fault, and this town," Cassie weakly stated as she stood to face the room and all the stares.

"Wait, are you telling me that the blonde who just ran out of here was Emma," Morgan asked with a scratch of the head, " The used to be brunette who had Riley swimming in a puddle of his own drool?"

"What the hell," Riley blurted out as his had met the back of Morgan's head.

"Please, would you two stop," Cassie said as she turned to look at the two, "Contrary to popular belief the world does not revolve around the men in this town. Lord knows that your over inflated ego's don't help any. I mean dear god, if you had all left you macho sense of betrayal at home for like two seconds maybe one of you would have seen what was right in front of your eyes, Emma."

Sonny had a sick feeling in his stomach as he digested Cassie's words. Had his rash judgment caused him to ignore the truth? Had his ego and pride blinded his sense of decency, and honor to the end that he had made the wrong choice? Had he pushed his sister away for the simple reason that he was mad, and hated to be questioned? Was he really that arrogant a man?

Jason stood there, silent, still. He had seen her eyes, her hair, and her tears. It broke his heart. He had heard her words, all of them, and all he could think of was how he had missed it, he had missed so much and he could never get it back. It all hit him like a tone of bricks in the last five minutes. He had been a fool, an idiot to not see it before. It was all so clear now, the resemblance. Looking back it's all he could see, the way she reacted, her protectiveness of her family, her anger, and her kindness. Every thought of Emma, every action, every breath, it reminded him one woman, Courtney.

"I need to talk to her," Jason spoke, his voice barley a whisper.

" Why? So can break her heart again. I mean she comes here, gives you all a chance. All you can tell her is that she's that ass' daughter. Do you have any idea what those words did to her, telling her that he was her father, after everything that happened, everything that they did. She's never been the best friend of mine she was when we were little. She's been so guarded, and her snapping like this, it's just more warning. She can't take as much as you all think, she may be strong, but she's not that strong," Cassie cried as a thought struck her.

Her eyes clouded over more as they became dark, angry. She wasn't sure what her friend would do. She wasn't sure how, or what effect all of this would have on her. Emma didn't talk about herself, once and a while maybe, if you beat it out of her, but coming out in the open. Declaring to the world that she was mad upset. Emma was cracked, and a little broken, but would she fall the rest of the way?

"How were any of us supposed to know, Cassie," Morgan asked as he looked at the crying girl he had become rather attached to.

"You could have looked in her eyes." Cassie said as she walked towards Jason, as if only speaking to him, "You could have looked in her eyes. She gives so much away in them, yet there's so much that no one will ever see. It shocks me that you all weren't screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs. I mean her eyes are yours. Even green, she holds so much power in them, so much control."

Jason felt the young girls eyes bore into him as she stood just inches from his face. He could see her tears falling, her eyes swelling up in pain and hurt. He felt for this young girl, her golden brown eyes betraying her feelings. As angry as the girl was she was afraid. She was scared of something, someone, and Jason could see it.

"Nothing like your eyes though are they," Jason spoke calmly.

"No, my eyes aren't Emma's. So tell me, what secrets have you seen in them. What did they tell you? Can you see my future, your future, can you tell me when it's going to rain next? When the water will come, when we can just drown in it, as if it were the only thing left washing away any pain or hurt either of us felt. Can you tell me when it will stop hurting? When I'll be able to wake up and look my best friend, my sister, in the eyes and see them light up, see her happy. Like she can finally breath," Cassie said as she choked on her high-pitched tear filled words.

"What are you so afraid of," Jason asked as his heart skipped a beat. What had happened, what had gone so wrong in Emma's life that Cassie could barely speak?

"That she'll fall again."