Chapter 46

"No, my eyes aren't Emma's. So tell me, what secrets have you seen in them. What did they tell you? Can you see my future, your future, can you tell me when it's going to rain next? When the water will come, when we can just drown in it, as if it were the only thing left washing away any pain or hurt either of us felt. Can you tell me when it will stop hurting? When I'll be able to wake up and look my best friend, my sister, in the eyes and see them light up, see her happy. Like she can finally breath," Cassie said as she choked on her high-pitched tear filled words.

"What are you so afraid of," Jason asked as his heart skipped a beat. What had happened, what had gone so wrong in Emma's life that Cassie could barely speak?

"That she'll fall again," Carly spoke softly as she entered the building and stepped in front of Cassie separating her from the death glare she was receiving from Jason. "You okay sweetie?"

"I'm better than Emma," Cassie spoke her eyes glued straight forward where Jason's would be if Carly's forehead wasn't in the way.

"Where is Emma? Her mother ran off after mention of last night and I wanted to ask Emma what happened last," Carly spoke as if the room wasn't waiting with bated breath for the confessions to continue. "What's everyone holding their breath for, someone see a ghost?"

"Carly what's going on," Bobbie questioned finally finding her voice.

"What do you mean mom," Carly spoke as she gently took Cassie's arm and led her to an empty table, "Can we get two plates of pancakes over here."

"Mom, What's going on," Morgan said as he looked between Cassie and his mother.

"Nothing Morgan. I'm going to eat some food with my best friends daughters best friend."

"Carly what the hell is this. What the hell was Emma talking about and why in the hell does the girl hate us so much," Sonny said is voice unreasonably shaky. He was always such a calm person and couldn't understand when he became so uncertain of everything.

"She didn't start out hating you," Carly spoke as she accepted the cup of coffee Tricia had poured for her. "In fact she started out worshipping you. She started out loving the very ground you walked on. I mean she didn't get many stories, but she would sneak into Courtney's room at night, go through her closets and stair at pictures of all of you. She would get tears in her eyes as the same blue eyes that grace her face stared back at her."

"Courtney kept pictures," Jason mouthed the words barley forming in his throat coming out as a jumbled mess.

"She kept pictures, she had copies of movies, and when Emma wanted to know something she would sneak into her mothers room and take one of them out. Emma is such an amazing young woman; she's withstood so much. I'm just dreading the day that she becomes too much like her parents."

"Why Carly? What's so wrong with Jason, with Courtney," Sonny commented, his temper flaring a bit at what Carly could possibly be insinuating.

"Emma," Carly paused for a moment as she sipped her coffee, "She's sweet, caring, so understanding, she's more like her parents everyday. She can't help but think of others feelings and she's always doing what's right." More coffee, Carly was trying to drive them insane. "Jason what happens when she becomes so much like the two of you that she can't help it. What happens when Emma finally comes to the conclusion that the world is best without her? That your worlds are better off without her?"

Her eyes passed to the mob men, her son, the entire room, the questions lingered in the air. No one quite sure what Carly was getting at, but all grasping the situation of what was going on. Jason had a daughter; a family that as far as anyone could see he had no clue even existed.

"What will you do when she runs Jason? When she has finally decided that she's had enough, that she's hurt enough people. She's similar to you and Courtney in so many ways. Even in that sick way you two feel that you've protected each other over the years," her eyes rested solely on him now as the words flew freely from her mouth. She couldn't stop them from coming out, they just did. She needed to make him see, to make them all see how much they had truly hurt one another, as it was Emma who had opened her mind to all the pain they had caused each other.

"She's her own person. She can do what she wishes," The words flew from Jason's mouth, calmly, evenly, without hesitation, without regret. It was how he felt, he hated having people control him, if Emma had to run then so be it.

"Really, can she," Carly tempted him. She needed to know how far she could push him, could she tell him it all, or all she knew? Would it be too much for him to handle too much for them all to handle. "Can she leave her mother, can she leave her family, her friends. Who will Cassie stay up late at night to talk with? Who can Michael call when he's not sure he can handle married life, when he's afraid for Kris? You would think it was one of us Sonny, but it's not. She's been holding this family together for far longer than you would think. She's helped more of us then you could imagine."

"Even Lila, and Sam," the words flew from Cassie's mouth before she could stop them. "I mean…"

Carly looked at the young girl she thought of as a daughter. She wasn't sure what the statement actually meant, but she would bet big bucks it was why Emma stopped asking about Port Charles every second of the day.

"She never helped me. I never even knew her until a few weeks ago," Lila spoke as if she were more certain than not. That there was no way possible that she had even breathed the words Emma in her life.

"Well you met her. She thought of you, Lila, as a friend for a total of what was it three minutes before that bitch you call a mother swooped down and be declared her poison. You met her before Lila, in a sandbox. And you," Cassie said pointing a finger at Jason, "Held her in you arms before you let the bitch rip her heart out."

Tear flew freely from Cassie's eyes as the exact events Emma had told her of played through her mind. She couldn't stop it. She was mad, angry, she didn't understand. She had come there to help her friend. To keep her safe from everything, and everyone that wanted to hurt her. She couldn't do that though, she was only a teen, with just as many problems as Emma. It wasn't her 'job', so to speak, to protect Emma, and as hard as she tried she couldn't do it. She guessed that that's where the anger came from. She wanted to do it, to keep her best friend safe, but she couldn't, and those who were supposed to keep her safe were nowhere near where they should have been when Emma had needed them.

"You think I wanted this Carly. That I never wanted to know her? That had I known I would have just left her there?" Jason had heard Cassie, heard her mini rant, but he couldn't put those pieces together. He needed to focus on Carly, and what she was saying.

"No, I think had I said to your face that Emma existed, that you had a daughter that you would have gone running. But that's not the point. Think of Emma here, she's you; she's Courtney, Jason. What would you two do if you thought that you were hurting those you wanted to love," Carly's voice leaked with sadness as she spoke the words, as she revealed to Jason, to Sonny what Emma was most likely going to do.

-.-

The cool marble passed under her fingers as she traced the letters slowly. Each letter passing slowly below her fingertips as she tried to forget that day. She had been so worried. So scared that she had finally lost it all. The first time Emma went missing, Courtney nearly lost herself. To loose your father, then daughter to a town that held so many memories nearly killed her. Yet here she sat, in front of his gravestone, afraid she was loosing everything all over again.

She couldn't really loose her father again, he was always with her, or so she hoped. She missed him so much, all the time but she couldn't change that, she had received a letter from him once she had returned to California, after his funeral. She had cried so much while reading it that she could hardly breath. She had found the peace with her father that she needed, if only she could find peace with the rest of Port Charles, with Jason.

She wanted peace so much. She wanted peace not only for herself, but for Emma as well. Emma needed rest. Courtney needed rest, but she was so worried about loosing her daughter, and not just physically, but mentally as well. They had been states away for so long, but never had Emma been further from all of them than she was at this minute. She had to deal with so much, more than her first trip and Courtney had let her run off alone to wander the snow covered streets of Port Charles.

Yes Courtney had made mistakes, but her daughter was hurt, hurt and lost and all Courtney could do was hope, hope that her daughter wasn't pushed over the edge. That she could come to terms with her life, and that no one pushed her, because after last night the last thing Emma needed was any sort of push.

-

She hid behind the tree. It was the same tree that she and her mother had hidden behind as they watched the funeral. She could sense that same feeling. A feeling she often had. She had felt it close to twelve years ago at the funeral of her grandfather, a man she had never known, and she was feeling it again now. She had the urge to run, she was hurting them, and the tears falling from her mothers eyes told her so. She needed to run.