DISCLAIMER: 'Resonance' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed which is a property of Sotsu Agency, SUNRISE and MBS. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork.

WARNING: Text and all related materials are rated R/M and may mild strong language, violence, cruelty, explicit adult content, rape, death and nudity unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. Spoilers for Gundam Seed.

NOTE: This fanfiction disregards the plotline of the original series' sequel Gundam Seed Destiny. Please go to gseedaftermath.hermitjunction. net for site hosting of this fic. For Dearka and Miriallia's story, please go to 'GS Aftermath Trilogy I: Rebound'; for Rusty and Lain's story, please go to 'GS Aftermath Trilogy II: Repercussion'.

Gseed Aftermath Trilogy III:
RESONANCE
a hermit junction project

Chapter 3

Stepping out of car, Shiho looked up at the Hahnenfuss Manor in full uniform, a duffle bag in her hand. Locking her car, she took a deep breath and walked forward, stopping at the huge carved mahogany doors before her. Gripping the handle of her bag tightly, she reached out a trembling hand, hesitating before she rang the bell. She heard her heart pound over the familiar old charm of the old manor doorbell. The charm she would hear everytime he visited the manor.

Shiho felt her heart stop when the huge double doors opened. A shocked face greeted her, followed by disbelief and fear.

'Miss… Miss Shiho?' The old housekeeper Mrs. Skloff stammered.

Shiho bowed her head silently. Scrambling, Mrs. Skloff opened the doors wide and stepped aside, looking down all the time as Shiho stepped into the Hahnenfuss Manor, her boots clicking on the polished marble floor.

'Who is it dear?' Mrs. Skloff's husband and butler of the Hahnenfuss family asked from the coat room. 'Master and the Lady shouldn't be back for another few hours, they have a political banquet to go to.'

'It's Miss…' Mrs. Skloff's voice trailed as Mr. Skloff stepped into the foyer and stopped in his tracks at the sight of Shiho looking at him.

'Miss Shiho… your – your back!' Mr. Skloff said hesitantly, staring at her. 'Why are you… what are you…'

'I was just disbanded.' Shiho said simply. 'I was ordered to return home before my next assignment comes.'

'Assignment?' Mrs. Skloff repeated. 'You really are…'

Shiho bowed her head. 'I want to get some rest, my room is still in one piece right?'

'Yes Miss, but uh, we haven't been cleaning it for some time.' Mrs. Skloff said.

'It's okay, I won't be staying here long either.' Shiho said quietly. Turning, she walked up the huge flight of stairs, her head held high as the maids stopped in their tracks at the sight of her, staring at her with terrified looks.

Entering her room, Shiho quickly closed the door behind her, leaning her back against it. She frowned at the dusty room and threw her bag on the four poster bed. She opened the windows before she slid the doors to the balcony open, letting in some natural light and much needed fresh air.

She had never been able to breathe naturally in this Manor, ever since she could remember.

Sighing, Shiho sat herself down on the wicker chair on the balcony and looked out with half closed eyes, letting the sun warm her up. It was autumn according to the season schedule Aprilius One had and it was breezy outside, not too hot, not too cold, absolutely comfortable.

The weather was undeniably comfortable, but she herself wasn't, never had been, never will be.

Sanding up, she rested her elbows on the railing of the balcony and surveyed the backyard of the Hahnenfuss Manor. The Hahnenfuss family was a traditional political family, a big family where prestige and grace were the only thing that counted. The family made sure that there was one Hahnenfuss in the senior council of PLANT for every generation and they had succeeded until this generation. It was likely that this tradition was bound to come to an end.

Loosening the collar of her uniform, Shiho turned and went back into her room. Taking off her belt and uniform jacket, she pulled her long dark brown hair in a high pony tail. She turned when a knock rang on her door.

'Miss Shiho.' A timid voice called from the door. 'I've come with some new sheets.'

'Come in.' Shiho said and watched the maid walk in with her head practically buried in the sheets she was holding in her arms. Rolling her eyes mentally, Shiho waved her hand in the air. 'Take your time, I'm going to take a walk in the garden.

'Yes Miss.' The young maid said with obvious relief.

Frowning, Shiho walked out her room and closed the door behind her quietly. Walking down the stairs, she slipped into one of the art rooms and walked out of the manor through one of the doors that lead to the garden. Looking out at the perfectly manicured garden, Shiho stretched, wincing at the crack in her left shoulder. Rolling her head on her shoulder, she cracked her fingers before stepping into the sunlight.

Though she had dropped by briefly before she enlisted, she didn't have the time to survey the old house she had lived since she was born so to be more correct, she hadn't really been in this house for more than two years. Things haven't really changed, but she had.

Looking down at the flowerbed, Shiho lowered her eyes. The flowers were dead. Looking away abruptly, Shiho turned.

Strolling across the garden's glass house, Shiho stopped at one of the old sheds. Curious, she opened it and coughed at the dust that swept in the air as the gate rolled up. Blinking, she was surprised to find a motorcycle parked inside, two suits hung on the wall. Stepping inside, Shiho turned on the lights and found a lot of accessories displayed in one of the glass cupboards including helmets, gloves and boots.

'They didn't through all this away?' Shiho murmured in surprise, running her hand over the seat of the motorcycle. The sound of the engines running was ringing through her head as she grasped the handle.

Looking at the bike with narrowed eyes, a sudden thought hit her. Making a decision without hesitation, she grabbed the helmet from the counter and put it on. Hopping onto the bike, she turned the key and gunned the engine, satisfied at the healthy roaring it made. It had definitely been taken care of.

Slapping the tinted protective shield down, she drove out into the sun and made an immediate sharp turn, hitting one of the narrow paths that connected the manor. Not wanting to alert anyone at the gates, Shiho decided to take a secret route only she and her sister knew. In less than five minutes, she was already on the road, riding a very familiar route that ran up the hill that overlooked Aprilius One.

It's been a very long time, a very long time since she had come up here to watch the sunset, times when she needed to get away from the manor. Ironically, the last time was with her sister, the one person who made her suffocate so much in the place she was supposed to call home.

Killing the engine, Shiho climbed off the motorbike and took off the helmet, shaking her hair free while setting it down on the seat. She looked down at the magnificent view were the whole Aprilius One seemed to be at her feet.

'Just look out and you'll see what Aprilius One is like, remember this view and when you come back, I promise I'll bring you here every day, anything you want!'

'Anything I want? Don't make me laugh, no one can give me what I want, no one!'

'You know that's not true, you know we're doing this because of you!'

'No, they're driving me away because of them, because of the family, not me, you think I'm a shame to the family, you think I'm pulling you down, all of you do! I may be a brat at home but I'm not stupid! I know what the servants say behind my back! Let alone my family!'

'Shiho, don't do this to yourself, don't try to attract attention by hurting yourself.'

'Too late, I already have and I won't stop.'

Shiho felt tears stream down her cheeks at the unexpected flood of memories washing into her mind. Wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, she bit her lip and sniffed, trying to suppress the disturbing pain in her chest. Taking a deep breath, she reached into her pocket, feeling the vibration of her cell.

'Hello?' Shiho answered.

'Shiho, it's me, Vena.'

Shiho smiled and leaned against the motorbike. 'How's it going Vena? You doing good over there?'

'Yeah.' Vena said softly. 'I'm okay.'

'You want me to come over some time?' Shiho asked.

'If you want, you're welcomed.' Vena said. 'I'm just helping out at the orphanage until I'm reassigned.'

'You sure you're okay.' Shiho asked again.

'I'm okay!' Vena exclaimed. 'Gods!'

'Okay okay! I get that I'm being an ass, I'll see you later then.' Shiho laughed.

'Oh, and one more thing.' Vena said quickly.

'Hmm?'

'Did you hear that Captain Jule is going to military court today?' Vena asked.

Shiho almost dropped her phone. 'What are you saying?'

'He's going to court for shooting down a civilian shuttle during the war.' Vena said. 'That's what I heard from Sassi. Shiho? Shiho? Are you there?'

Shiho blinked. 'Is he going to…'

'You mean will he be sentenced to death?' Vena paused. 'I'm not sure, but he shot down a civilian shuttle, they all died, do you really think he's going to get out of it with no punishment? Unless he has a really good reason for shooting that shuttle down.'

'He might die?' Shiho said quickly.

'It's just an assumption.' Vena reassured. 'I have to go now Shiho, take care, I'll see you later.'

'Later.' Shiho said absently. Cutting the connection, Shiho stared out blankly. She snapped back to reality when a herd of motorcycles flew past her. Shaking her head violently, she grabbed her helmet and put it on quickly while climbing onto the motorcycle. Gunning the engine, she made a very sharp turn and hit the road that led down the hill. Ignoring the speed limit, she accelerated without thinking, feeling the wind wipe against her arms, her loose tank top beating against her chest.

'Miss Shiho!' One of the security guards gasped when she speed across the garden paths. Making an abrupt stop in front of the main entrance, she pulled off her helmet and jumped from the bike, totally oblivious of a sleek black limousine parked in the lot.

Rushing past a surprised Mrs. Skloff, she flew up the stairs and threw open the door to her room. Grabbing her uniform jacket, she shrugged it on, cursing as she fumbled with her belt. Buttoning her collar, she grabbed her car keys. On the way down the stairs, she felt for her chest to make sure her dogtag was in place. Murmuring under her breath, she almost bumped into Mr. Skloff at the base of the staircase.

'Miss Shiho, careful.' Mr. Skloff said quietly. Motioning his head, he explained why with his body language.

'Father, Mother.' Shiho bowed her head at the sight of her parents, Agrip Hahnenfuss and the Lady Irasi.

Agrip Hahnenfuss looked at his daughter with a frown while Lady Irasi looked away. As if she was invisible, they walked past her and entered the conference room. Shiho could feel eyes on her as she stood there until the whole group had left the foyer.

Taking a deep breath, she preyed her fingers open from the unconscious fist she held at the sight of her parents. Biting her lips, she gripped her car keys and walked out the door into the parking lot where she unlocked her car with the remote. Gunning the engine, she sat there for a while before releasing the breaks, telling herself that she couldn't deal with her parents just now.

She had something else to do, something more important.

Yzak didn't know if he felt lighter or heavier when he stepped out of the courtroom, but he was surprised to find someone he didn't expect sitting in the lobby, eyes closed, her head tilted. It was already nine thirty.

'Major.' Yzak said softly. Stirring, Shiho looked up with dazed eyes. Seeing that Yzak was staring down at her, she sprang up.

'Captain!' Shiho gasped, taking a step back.

'Woah, don't worry, I'm not going to bite.' Yzak exclaimed. 'What are you doing here, you don't have any trials.'

'Me?' Shiho blinked, then looked down. 'I uh, I have a friend who has a trial and…'

'I'm the last one.' Yzak said dryly, crossing his arms with raised eyebrows.

Shiho bit her bottom lip. 'Really? Then I must have missed him.'

'I bet you have.' Yzak muttered, shrugging on his white coat that contrasted greatly with his red uniform.

'Uh, Captain.' Shiho shot Yzak's calm face a nervous glance. 'How, uh, so how was your trial?'

Yzak paused before looking up. He stared at her for some time before giving her a small smile. 'You've been here long haven't you?'

'Me?' Shiho shook her head. 'Just – '

'Long enough.' Yzak interrupted. 'Are you still planning on waiting for that friend of yours?'

'Well, since you're the last one.' Shiho did an unconvincing pout.

'Come on, let's get something to eat, my treat.' Yzak said, stepping away.

'Are you sure?' Shiho asked, following him. 'I mean…'

'Why not?' Yzak shrugged as they stepped out of the courtroom, pulling the collar of his coat closer at the nocturnal wind.

'I…' Shiho tried to search for an excuse, feeling her car keys in her pocket. 'I drove!'

'You did?' Yzak looked over his shoulder and gave her a smirk. 'Great, I didn't.'

Shiho blinked and watched Yzak walk up to her car. How he knew was beyond her. Rushing forward, Shiho unlocked the door. 'Are you sure?'

'What? You don't want to have dinner with me?' Yzak asked, opening the door.

'No!' Shiho said quickly, then looked away, feeling heat rise in her face. 'It's just, I thought you'd think it's late.'

'Don't worry, you don't need to work tomorrow and neither do I. We can go out all night if you want.' Yzak said slyly, getting into the car.

Sighing, Shiho climbed in and gunned the engine. 'Where do you want to go?' She asked, steering out of the parking lot.

Yzak shrugged. 'No restaurant, we're both wearing our uniforms.'

Shiho rolled her eyes and shot a glance at her captain. 'I'm beginning to think that this treat of yours isn't going to be a comfortable one.'

Yzak gave a short laugh. 'Just lead the way Major, any take away will be fine.'

'Your wish is my command sir.'

They stopped by one of those 24-hr convenient stores and got some simple food, not a fancy dinner Yzak and Shiho had in mind but they weren't really complaining. It was almost ten o'clock when Shiho parked her car at the curb of a quiet bridge where there were barely any cars passing by. It over looked the downstream of the famous River Cerus and had a magnificent view of part of the city.

It was very quiet tonight.

'Here, you want blueberry or melon?' Shiho asked, rummaging through the bag.

'Blueberry.' Yzak replied, sitting on the side of the bridge, his feet dangling over the river.

Tossing the box of blueberry juice, Shiho leaned her back against the railing. 'Make sure you don't fall over.'

Yzak looked over his shoulder with a smirk. 'Please.'

Shiho shrugged. 'Suit yourself, I've warned you Captain.'

Ripping the individual wrap off one of the crème buns they bought, Yzak took a small bite. Seeing this, Shiho couldn't help but giggle.

'What?' Yzak frowned down at her.

'You don't look like a military man at all.' Shiho laughed. 'You eat like a little lady.'

'Shut up.' Yzak muttered, poking her in the shoulder. 'It's bad enough that the rumor of me being gay and having a relationship with Dearka as been around ever since my academy days.'

'Oh, poor you.' Shiho coaxed mockingly, taking a sip from her melon juice.

'I'm not gay.' Yzak said flatly, eyeing her.

'I'm sure you're not.' Shiho raised her eyebrows at him. 'But I don't know about that Dearka though.'

Yzak rolled his eyes. 'He's not either.'

Laughing, Shiho sat on the side as well, her back facing the river. 'If you won't fall, neither will I.' She snorted when Yzak looked at her amused.

'The trial was bad.' Yzak said out of the blue, startling Shiho. He looked out at the city that was far away from where they were.

'How bad?' Shiho asked quietly, looking down at her lap with her breath inhaled.

'It never occurred to me that I shot down a civilian shuttle.' Yzak said, sighing. 'It was during the early stages of the war when we were still ordered to shoot down Strike. I got this scar from Strike in one of the early battles and vowed revenge.'

Shiho heard Yzak exhale loudly after a brief pause.

'I remember I still had one eye covered in that battle. I was going after Strike near the atmosphere, determined to shoot him down. My wound was hurting badly, my pride was hurt and I wasn't going to let him get away with it, I swore to myself I'd kill him.

'I didn't kill him but instead shot down a shuttle with an Earth Alliance signal.' Yzak looked up, griping the bun in his hand. 'I thought I just shot down an OMNI military shuttle, never did it occur to me that I killed thirty-seven civilians that escaped from Heliopolis after our raid.'

'You were put on trial because of this?' Shiho asked softly.

Yzak nodded. 'How many civilians have I killed in this war? How many people have a killed in this war alone? I've been so preoccupied with the events that changed so fast I lost count… no, I never counted.'

'You kill to survive in war.' Shiho said quietly. 'That's the inevitable fact, a brutal yet inevitable fact. If you let sympathy and emotion control you at gunpoint, you're going to lose not only your pride, but also your life.'

'I still shiver when I think about the last phase of this war Hahnenfuss.' Yzak said, turning his head towards her. 'It's just killing, Naturals versus Coordinators. It was a massacre, a bloody massacre.'

'No one wanted it to happen this way Captain.' Shiho murmured. 'Yet no one could control the situation.'

'To tell you the truth, I met up with my former comrade Dearka Elthman during that recoinnase mission in L4 after the escape of Eternal.' Yzak ran one hand through his hair. 'I didn't know if I was mad or just plain annoyed after that brief meeting. I was glad he didn't die yet I resented his betrayal towards PLANT, uniting with Archangel, our former enemy, the battleship we've been trying to destroy, in the process loosing three team members.'

'What did he say that made you so confused?' Shiho asked.

'I was confused.' Yzak bowed his head. 'I hadn't been more confused in my entire life. There I was, pointing my gun at my former comrade being bombed with the news that he was against ZAFT, he and Athrun Zala. He even told me that Athrun was best friends with the pilot of Strike. Imagine the shock.'

Shiho didn't say anything as she looked at him. She could see the moonlit river water reflect in his cobalt blue eyes.

'I always acted by the book, always followed strict orders.' Yzak whispered. 'Never in my life did I imagine myself doubting this principle of mine. That brief meeting made me rethink the orders I received.'

'Yet you continued to follow them.' Shiho said.

'Yes, I did, but I no longer had that spirit in me, the spirit of being an absolutely loyal ZAFT soldier.' Yzak said softly.

'Are you saying you've betrayed ZAFT too?' Shiho asked.

'I don't know, maybe.' Yzak swung his legs over the side of the bridge, landing his feet on the concrete road. He paused with his back to her, the nocturnal breeze lifting his silky hair.

'You didn't Captain.' Shiho said firmly.

Yzak turned around and looked at her in the eye. 'I was sentenced to death in the trial.'

Shiho's eyes widened and she almost fell off the side of the bridge. 'What?'

'I was sentenced to death.' Yzak repeated, giving her a small smile. 'But if I took my Mother's place in the council and continued to serve ZAFT, I'd escape this penalty.'

Shiho felt herself sigh in relief as she hopped onto her feet again. 'Are you hesitating Captain?'

Yzak nodded. 'I don't know if I'm the negotiation type of person. I'm a military man, I fight in the battle field, not argue at a round table. Besides, I don't know if I really still want to be in ZAFT.'

'I understand.' Shiho said softly. 'But just think, do you really want to disappoint the people who believe in you? Who trust you?'

Yzak looked at her in silence.

'You can still do great things Captain Jule!' Shiho insisted. 'If the court gives you this bargain, you should take it because it's a win-win situation. They're giving you this task because they think you're suitable and trust you with it.' She looked away, her strands of hair blowing across her face. 'At least you've showed us how great a leader you can be in war.'

Yzak stared at her for a while before smiling, much to Shiho's surprise. 'I've been smiling more than I could remember ever since I met you Major.'

'Really…' Shiho bit her bottom lip.

Yzak reached for his blueberry juice and took a sip, wincing at the taste. 'I should have chosen melon.'

'Too late.' Shiho smirked.

'Give me a sip?' Yzak asked.

'No.' Shiho made a face.

'Please? This blueberry deal sucks!' Yzak protested.

Seeing him reach out, Shiho took a step back and stuck her tongue out. 'No, you should have made your choice when I asked you. Not that I don't like blueberry.'

'Then let's trade.' Yzak suggested.

'You drank from that!' Shiho argued.

Yzak rolled his eyes. 'It's not like I have a disease or something. Come on, just one sip, do me a favor…'

Shiho shook her head.

'Major!' Yzak said sharply. Shiho stood straight and saluted, dropping the box of melon juice. Her mouth dropped open when Yzak caught it and stuck the straw into his mouth without hesitation, raising his eyebrows at her.

'You cheater!' Shiho cried. 'Give that back!'

The clock on the dashboard turned eleven thirty when Shiho pulled her car in front of the Jule Mansion.

'Here we are.'

'I asked my Mother.' Yzak suddenly said, shooting Shiho a glance. 'Geherin died a year ago.'

Shiho felt her throat tighten as she nodded slowly. 'She did, but there was so much gong on that we didn't invite anyone to the service.'

'Makes sense.' Yzak murmured. 'I'm lying if I say I don't miss her, but it's been such a long time since we've seen each other.'

'I know.' Shiho whispered.

'I'm off then.' Yzak said, opening the door.

Shiho waved her hand slightly and watched Yzak enter the old Jule Mansion. Taking a deep breath she gunned the engine and steered out of the Jule property, hitting the highway in five minutes. She tried to hold back her tears as she bit her bottom lip, gripping the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. She found it a miracle that she was able to drive all the way back to the Hahnenfuss Manor in one piece.

She noticed that her parent's limousine was gone and the whole manor was quiet. Parking her car, she entered the house from the backdoor and trudged up the stairs. She ignored the maid who had come out of the kitchen to see who it was and entered her room quietly.

She didn't bother to turn on the lights as she sat down on the coffee table that was opposite the balcony doors, the moonlight giving her face a ghostly white shade.

'You don't seem too happy.' A voice rang from the shadows.

'You're right, I'm not.' Shiho said, staring into the darkness.

Emerging from the shadows, Lain Van Ness crossed her arms. If she wasn't wearing white, she'd merge completely into the darkness with that flow of black hair she had.

'Why?' Lain asked.

'I shouldn't have come back, my parents will never accept me after what had happened. No one here will accept me.' Shiho whispered.

'You know that Shiho.' Lain said softly. 'You knew that when you told me to bring you back to Aprilius One a year ago.'

Shiho took a deep breath, feeling tears she hated so much slide down her cheeks again. Wiping it away roughly, Shiho shook her head.

'I only have myself to blame. Only myself.'


End of Chapter 3
Next Update: 12th November, 2005

A/N: I've decided to quicken the pace of updates, and no it's not compensation, I'm not going anywhere. It's just a very long story and since I've finished it already, I might as well update more frequently. Aside from the side stories I'm also working on another possibly long and complex story, but this time, not a trilogy, but that won't come along anytime soon, at least after GSAIII has finished, which is roughly by the end of January. Enjoy.