Disclaimer: This is an original story based upon the characters of Gilmore Girls. No copyright infringement is intended and no profit will be made from this story.

Author's Note: Thank you to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I'm glad you liked it. Communication is a big thing with me lately, I guess that's why I have so many talks in my writing. I talked out some problems with a dear friend yesterday and I we are better off because of it. Here's hoping we get some real communication tomorrow from the Gilmores! Till then, I hope you enjoy this next installment.

I sheepishly came out from behind the bushes as Lorelai called for me and both Lorelai and Richard were chuckling as I walked towards them, wiping my tears that had come from my eavesdropping. Richard extended his other arm towards me and I took it. He gently kissed me on the top of my forehead and I put my head on his shoulder as I looked up at the swirling magic of snow. I'll never doubt Lorelai again—on the subject of snow at least. The three of us walked in silence back to the group, arm and arm—a real honest to goodness family. Was any of this real? Somehow the years of hurt and anger, the years of bitterness seemed to be another lifetime.

We rejoined the group and we all piled in the car back to Lorelai and Luke's house. At first I was disappointed that Lorelai had invited Sookie and her family to Christmas Eve as well, I had my hopes set on it just being the family. While I thoroughly enjoyed Sookie, I had never really cared for her husband—very odd man, and her children were rather loud. As the evening went on though, I found myself enjoying their company as well. Sookie made the most amazing hot chocolate, and we all sat around the living room and talked. Alicia was passed from one person to another, and as I watched, each one seemed to savor the baby's presence, knowing how close we had come to loosing her. When it came my turn, I put down my hot chocolate and took her in my arms. I put my hand on the back of her head and rocked back and forth. Her soft curls brushed my cheek lightly and if I closed my eyes it was almost like going back in time. I had forgotten how much I had loved holding a baby that belonged to me. I remembered back to those few glorious weeks before the nannies, when I would sit and rock my baby back and forth. I looked up and caught Lorelai smiling at me. I smiled back and winked at her.

Luke had lit a fire and the warmth from it made me drowsy—the light was casting shadows all over the room. Alicia's head was getting heavy and I was glad Lorelai didn't notice, it felt good to have her asleep in my arms again. I turned and looked into the fire—I had always enjoyed looking at firelight. It seemed as though the voices around me were lost in the dancing flames.

I was in front of the fireplace at home. It was late and Richard wasn't home yet. Spring was on its way, but the nights were still cold and before the maid left I asked her to lit a fire in the fireplace. I was sitting in the pink armchair and had a throw over my legs. For the thousandth time, that day I reached down and put a hand on my stomach. "My little miracle," I said. "Another little miracle,"

Sookie's little boy started crying, jolting me out of my trance. Jackson was telling him that he had better calm down or Santa Claus would take all of his toys back to the North Pole.

What had just happened? I had no memory of ever sitting in front of the fireplace and waiting for Richard to get home when I was pregnant with Lorelai—but such an insignificant thing, I had probably just forgot. I turned back to the fire and found myself lost again in the swirling dances.

"Toes?" Lorelai said as she pointed to the array of tiny white baby things I had laid out on the carpet.

"Yes, those are baby clothes," I said, enunciating the word clothes carefully.

I held up a tiny crochet sweater and admired it. "I can't believe you were ever this small Lorelai!" I said shaking my head. I reached up and smoothed a hand over her curls.

"Mommy sad?" she said looking at me.

"No, no sweetheart, Mommy's very, very happy," I said, and hugged the little sweater to me.

Lorelai suddenly stood up and took the sweater from me. "Loli's toes!" she said vehemently. "Bug's toes!"

I chuckled and brought her to me. "I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"Excuse me, Emily?" Luke said, bringing me once again out of my thoughts. I turned towards him, "Yes?"

"Would you like some eggnog?" he asked. I nodded my head slowly. Suddenly the realization of what was happening came to me. I was remembering—I was remembering something I had buried a long time ago, and I hoped as I looked up at Luke, my face did not betray the terror I felt inside. Luke didn't seem to notice, and he walked past me, and into the kitchen. Richard seemed to notice that something was wrong, and started sending me, "Are you okay?" looks, but I was avoiding them. Luke brought back a foaming glass of cold eggnog, and I took it with my free hand.

"She really enjoys you," Luke said, nodding towards his sleeping daughter.

"The feeling is mutual," I said, smiling, again trying to hide my pain.

"You're a natural," he said patting me on the back.

"You're a natural, Emily," Joshua said, as I took Lorelai's hand and with my other hand took hold of the prenatal vitamins he was giving me.

"I wish I had your confidence Joshua," I said, I was still reeling from the news.

"How far along am I?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"About a month, it is critical that you take care of yourself and the baby. I don't want to take any chances Emily. It's in the first trimester that things can go wrong."

"I'm going to Paris with Richard in two weeks, that's alright isn't it?" I asked. I didn't want to miss a trip to see my sister. It was going to be her first time seeing Lorelai.

"Yes, that should be fine. Just get plenty of rest," he said smiling.

"And you're certain?" I asked.

"Yes, it really should be fine,"

"No—Joshua, I mean…there really is a baby in there?"

"Yes Emily," he said shaking his head. "You are going to have another baby. You are going to have another miracle."

My eyes filled up on that one, "Thank you Joshua," I said, and taking Lorelai's hand I walked out of the office. How was I going to keep this news to myself? It would be hard, but I wanted to tell Richard in Paris. I knew this would be my last baby, for I was never supposed to have any baby at all, and more than anything else in the world I wanted to share this news with Richard in Paris. In the time I left the doctor's office, to the time I had fastened Lorelai in her car seat, I had it all planned. I would get Hope to watch Rory for me, and then I would take Richard to a spot along the river, at night when the lights from the city would dance on the water, and there I would tell him, just the two of us, that he would be a daddy again.

Suddenly I felt a firm hand on my shoulder, and I looked up to see Richard's concerned face.

"What is it?" he whispered gently and it was then that I noticed everyone in the room was staring at me.

"Are you okay Mom?" Lorelai asked. Suddenly a salty tear ran into my mouth—I hadn't realized I was crying.

"Yes, I'm fine," I said smiling. "I'm just glad Alicia's back safe and sound and we're all together."

"Amen to that," Sookie breathed and raised her eggnog class, "To Alicia," she said. Thankful that the attention was off of me, I raised my class in a toast, and drank the eggnog, smiling up at Richard, trying to avoid his eyes, knowing that he knew something else was going on.

The evening seemed to pass in a blur, Lorelai took Alicia from me and put her to bed, Sookie and Jackson left with their sleeping kids on their shoulders.

"I think it's time we turned in as well," Richard said, putting a hand on my back.

I nodded, "I am pretty tired," I said.

"Yeah Mom," Lorelai said. "You need to go to bed now, because I'm going to come in and get you at least 5:30 in the morning, you do know that don't you?"

Richard and I chuckled, and we both hugged her to us.

"Merry Christmas Guys," she whispered, "I'm glad you're here,"

"Merry Christmas Lori-Bug," Richard said, kissing her on the cheek. We said goodnight to Luke and Rory and then wearily climbed the stairs up to the guest room.

"Have you ever wondered why our daughter bought such a big house with only her and Rory to live in it?" Richard asked, as we made our way down the hall. "I mean, there are at least three rooms that their not using, what do they do with them?"

I shook my head, that was my boy—ever the economist. "I'm sure they are filled with video cassettes, and restaurant menus, and McDonalds happy meals toys, and treasures from the Goodwill Richard, we raised a strange daughter."

"That we did Emily," he chuckled.

We walked in to the room and shut the door, I slowly changed out of my clothes, my mind still reeling from my sudden memory recovery. I watched Richard changed and I drew in a deep breath. I couldn't tell him, how could I tell him that I had known I was pregnant and had put my baby in danger because of my agony. I adored this man so much and I had failed him. The child I had been carrying inside of me had died—I had failed him.

"Where's the present?" Richard asked suddenly, as he was crawling into bed.

"In the car," I said. "We'll wait until the house is quiet and then go get it."

"Do you think she'll like it?" he asked.

"Yes, Richard—I think she'll love it," I said as I climbed into bed and laid next to him. He put his arm around me and I snuggled into his embrace.

He brought one hand up to my cheek and I placed my hand on top of it.

"Emmy," he whispered gently, "Please, tell me what's troubling you,"

I bit my lower lip, again in a futile effort to try and keep the tears away. "I can't Richard," I said, "I just can't,"

He turned and faced me, and kissed the top of my forehead, "Tell me" he whispered.

There was a long pause between us while I fought desperately to get control of my emotions.

"I knew Richard," I said, taking in a sharp breath and allowing the tears to spill over onto my cheeks.

"What?" he prodded.

"I knew I was pregnant," I said, my voice shaking. "It all came back tonight. I knew—I was planning to tell you in Paris,"

He said nothing, just hugged me to him and I wept in his embrace, wept for the child I had lost, the child I had forgotten, the child who had never seen it's mother's face.

"It was my fault," I said, finally after I could speak. "I'm so sorry Richard," I sobbed. He brought me closer to him and I lay my head against his chest, finding comfort in the beating of his heart.

"No Emmy, it wasn't your fault. Don't ever think that. Darling please, don't ever think that," he whispered gently. "Emily, I knew this day would come, I knew that someday you would find out about what happened to Lorelai and the baby and I didn't ever want you to blame yourself. I didn't know if you knew or not, so I went to Joshua and told him you had lost the baby. I told him I didn't know if you knew you were pregnant and I didn't ever want to know. I made him promise he would never tell me. I did that for you Emily, I didn't want you to blame yourself, and I didn't want you for one second to think that I blamed you. I don't, I never ever have. We went through a terrible tragedy. It was no one's fault," At that last sentence I broke away from him and reached up and put a hand to his cheek. "No one's fault," I said again emphatically, remembering his conversation with Lorelai earlier.

He swallowed hard and reached up and traced the outlines of my face. "You asked me a few days ago if I believed in God," he said.

"Yes," I prodded.

"I know there is God," he said, bringing me closer to him.

"How?" I asked.

"Because there is a you," he said, lifting my chin to meet his. "I love you Emily," he said, and then enveloped me in a long languishing kiss.

"I love you too Richard," I whispered after we had broken the kiss and I snuggled back into his embrace.

We stayed that way, drifting in and out of sleep, until the alarm on Richard's watch went off.

"Do you think it's safe?" Richard asked.

"What time is it?"

"2:30 am" he replied.

"I think we're safe," I said and giggling slightly, we put on our slippers and tiptoed downstairs. Richard went out to the car, and brought in the big box.

"How many years has it been?" I asked. He shook his head, "I have no idea, but luckily my mechanic skills are still intact.

Suddenly there was a light on upstairs and we both panicked. I shoved the box behind the sofa.

"Who's down there?" Lorelai called out.

"Santa Claus!" Richard called. "Go to bed!"

"Yes Sir, right away Sir!" Lorelai said and both Richard and I chuckled as we heard her running down the hallway.

TBC!