Please read and review! In addition to just plain loving reviews, I find they help me think about the rest of the story.

DEATH-T NOTE: After Seto loses to Yami in their first duel, he's bent on gaining revenge, haunted by being left in the Shadow Realm and killed by his monsters (see Chapter 16) and by being rejected by the BEWD he had stolen from Sugoroku. Mokuba challenges Yugi, partly to get revenge for his brother, partly to protect him – because he realizes how badly Yami has hurt him and that Seto will literally kill himself trying to get revenge – so if Mokuba figures if he defeats Yami first, Seto will never have to face him, and partly to prove his worth to his brother, who has grown colder to him. Mokuba faces Yami twice and loses both times. However he still insists on being the fourth challenger at Death-T. Unfortunately all Seto can see is that Mokuba has disobeyed his wishes. He takes Mokuba's insistence on challenging Yami as a sign that Mokuba is old enough now to challenge him. So when Mokuba loses, Seto insists that Mokuba goes through with the penalty game – even knowing it will probably kill him.

STYLE NOTE: Flashback scenes are in ITALIC.

CHAPTER 17: OF HUMAN BONDAGE

YAMI'S POV

I could still feel the touch of his face on my fingers… still feel the softness of his skin. Though I had not kissed him, I could taste his lips.

Shadi kept hoping to find the perfect replica of his old friend. He resented every change; looked on every difference as proof that Kaiba was an inferior copy. I could not agree. 3,000 years had changed many things. Just as I no longer needed any title but "King of Games," I no longer wanted my lover to be my subject. I wanted not a surrender, but a union.

Seto had once been my kinsman, my confidant, my lover. Yet I did not pretend that I had ever been drawn to my High Priest as I was to this new, far more troubled incarnation. Many things were the same, even 3,000 years later: the arrogance, the calculating mind, the fierceness, the loyalty. But the furnace of Kaiba's childhood, the flames of his rage, had forged a double-bladed weapon, as quick to cut himself as his enemies; a blade that could not be sheathed unblooded.

His wildness excited me. But what kindled my heart was my growing awareness of the fragility that ran through him like a flaw through a jewel. Knowing that all the time this man – this Knight – had been waging his furious battles, he had been protected only by a shield of glass, had added tenderness to my desire – creating a potent brew. Seto had been first and foremost my friend. Kaiba, I loved.

For once I was glad that Yugi and the others were out; glad that the house was hushed. Kaiba looked like he needed a quiet night. There was a faint frown between his brows, a faint air of abstraction. He was sitting on the couch, watching Mokuba play Capsule Monster Chess with an excited Kouma. Mokuba was reviewing the moves with Kouma as they played. At first, Mokuba was a little rusty. I doubted he had played since Death-T, and I was glad he had decided to begin anew.

The younger Seto Kaiba was watching them intently. I should have known. It was a game – of course it would catch his interest, especially since it evidently was new to him. He was fascinated, trying to discern the rules. Finally Mokuba and Kouma's game ended. Kouma went to join Kaiba on the couch, and instantly fell asleep, his head pillowed on Kaiba's leg.

Seto approached the board almost hesitantly. "That looks cool. I've never seen it before," he said, reaching out to stroke one of the monsters. It was clear he was dying to try it. Kaiba and Mokuba both stared at him, the blood draining from Kaiba's face. I was certain he was thinking of Death-T – not that it ever left his mind. Mokuba had been my fourth opponent, there. He had fought me, against his Nisama's wishes. Kaiba had believed Mokuba was challenging his authority by insisting on dueling me. He had tried to kill his little brother. Capsule Monster Chess had been the catalyst for his final downward spiral.

What Mokuba was thinking was, for once, harder to tell.

"Do you want to play?" he asked Seto, setting up the board.

For a moment Seto looked startled. He had never viewed Mokuba as an opponent before, and clearly didn't know what to say, now. But the lure of a new game was too strong, and he took the seat across from Mokuba.

Seto was good. He was cunning, tenacious, and focused. He absorbed the rules instantly. But this was Mokuba's game. He had matured since Death-T, had learned patience. He set up his moves carefully, advancing his pieces with greater skill. Then it happened. Mokuba made what looked, on the surface, like a good move. But it left a small opening that Seto could exploit. And Mokuba had passed over the one move that would have sealed his victory. It was subtly done. Seto, unversed in the nuances of the game, and used to beating his brother, didn't notice.

Kaiba's face was ashen, his eyes blank… as though he had been stabbed through the heart and had forgotten to fall. I was glad when the game ended, and Seto carried Kouma to bed, leaving the older pair of brothers in silence. They were too caught up with their own thoughts to remember my presence, or maybe I blended in with the shadows.

Mokuba looked at Kaiba apprehensively. I could see he was resigned to a lecture on playing his best, when he caught sight of his brother's stricken face.

"Nisama?" he asked hesitantly.

Kaiba shuddered. "Are you still so afraid of me… of what I might do?"

"How could you think that?" Mokuba cried, honestly shocked.

"Because it's what I deserve. Because I've waited for this moment ever since Death-T… waited for the day when I would look in your eyes and know… no matter how hard you've tried to forgive me… you'll never really trust me again. I've forfeited that."

Now it was Mokuba's turn to grow pale.

"Of course I trust you, Nisama!" he cried passionately. "I always have, and I always will."

"Why?" The single word that was all that could escape through Kaiba's clenched jaw.

"Because I love you. Because you love me. You always have. You may not know that, but I do."

Kaiba shuddered as Mokuba hugged him, whether from his words or the contact was hard to say. He tried to speak… couldn't…. settled for saying, "Then why did you let him win?"

"Because he's never learned to lose, when losing means that I might get hurt. Because I love him with all my heart, and it's the only thing I have to give him – another victory – another proof that he won't ever fail me. I can play for fun, because he always plays to win. I didn't let him beat me because I'm afraid of him. I gave him a victory because it's the only way I can honor him for what he's becoming for my sake."

If anything, Kaiba had grown even paler at Mokuba's declaration. And Mokuba, whose senses were always so attuned to his Nisama's, seemed to realize that for once his brother needed to be alone, even more than he needed his presence. Mokuba gave Kaiba a last hug, and followed the younger pair to bed. Kaiba left the room too, but I saw him turn before reaching the staircase, and head for the front door instead… as if his huge, inherited house was suddenly too small to contain him.

KAIBA'S POV

I paced the ground, comforted by the darkness. I had been braced to find out that Mokuba feared me… only to hear that he loved me… that he had never doubted that I loved him. I would have liked to dismiss it as a childish fancy; a boy's need to believe in something… anything… even me. But Mokuba was growing up. Against my will, I believed him. He had truly loved me all along – even at Death-T. He had hidden it to protect me. Much as I craved the feel of him hugging me, the sound of his voice telling me he loved me… there were no words more chilling. In the end, I had not been able to stay in the same house as them. For when I thought of the word 'love', it was not Mokuba's voice I heard.

"So, Mokuba thinks that you can't live without him. I wonder… do you think that's true? Would killing him, destroy you? It might be interesting to find out if you're truly weak enough to need his love to survive."

Gozaburo's fingers caressed my face, slipped down to stroke my throat. He wasn't choking me, not yet, anyway, but one of his big hands could encircle my neck. There wasn't much I could do. He was smart enough never to see me alone anymore. Four guards lurked in the background. My only weapons were words, now.

"Are we back to talk of love again? The word seems to have some… power… over you, father."

His hand tightened. Blackness flickered at the edges of my vision. But I had accomplished my purpose. I had distracted his attention from Mokuba to me.

"Why do I find your insolence so amusing? You are definitely the best purchase I have ever made. So you love nothing but power, is that it, boy? Does that mean that you love me?" he asked in cold amusement. The hand was back at my face.

Though he was caressing my cheek, running his fingers up and down my neck, teasingly opening the buttons on my shirt – nothing so simple as seduction was intended; nothing so pure as lust was involved. He was simply trying for a reaction, trying to win a point. I stared straight ahead. If he thought to throw me off balance, he was years too late. I had learned that if I stood stock still, denying him the reaction he craved, he would get bored and move on to something else. Sure enough, he reached for the letter opener. It replaced his hand at my neck. Of the two, I preferred the blade's embrace. It was safer. He wouldn't leave scars that would show… and he wanted to break me, not kill me.

But he was waiting for an answer. I shrugged as well as I could, around the knife edge at my throat. "If that's what you… need… me to say. I'm agreeable. It seems to matter more to you than to me."

"Do you want me to say that I love you?" he whispered in my ear.

"An hour of sleep would say it far better," I replied.

He threw the letter opener back on the desk, just out of reach. I wasn't dumb enough anymore to think that I could reach it first.

"You really are entertaining, boy. So cool under fire. To think of all the protégés I've had, none could match a stray dog from the gutter, like you."

I tried to keep from feeling pride… from feeling pleasure… in the rare compliment. And failed.

Gozaburo left. I seemed as unmoved as ever, had kept the composure that he had, against his will, admired. I didn't tell him – but he had finally drawn first blood. My love for Mokuba had ultimately become one more item that I could no longer afford. I had gotten the message. And it was no contest which I would choose to surrender – my love or Mokuba's life.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is me, hiding under my computer table. I know… everyone had the right to expect that this would be THE chapter… But I'm not delaying things just to be a tease (well, okay – that part's fun – but it's just a fringe benefit – honest). Anyway, at the end of Chapter 16 (the previous chapter) it was obvious to any of the characters who were giving the matter any thought (well, that would be everyone except Jounouchi and Honda) that Yami and Kaiba were powerfully attracted to each other. And Kaiba is just barely starting to get a clue.

But Kaiba isn't really stupid. (He's a genius, remember?) What he is, is stubbornly, almost willfully blind. It's like the word 'love' doesn't even exist for him. That Kaiba is an inexpressive asshole is canon, but I didn't want to just leave it at that. I thought it was necessary to start to show why the word 'love' isn't in his vocabulary.

I've also pictured Kaiba being a bit touch-phobic. In all the 300 episodes of the manga, he touches Mokuba once – after being reunited at Duelist's Kingdom. The only other time you see him touching someone, is when he's fighting. And for a guy with Kaiba's explosive temper, it's noticeable that he only fights in self-defense or to protect Mokuba (or Yami/Yugi), and he never swings first.

So I think along with love, touch must mean something different to him than to most people, and that something would have to shake him up pretty badly before he would even consider redefining those terms.

I see differences between Seto Kaiba's current and past life personas. I think the very different circumstances surrounding his upbringing would have led to his soul being expressed in different ways. But I also think Yami would have changed. In the past he was a semi-divine ruler, and he would have accepted being worshiped as such as his due. But I think, in addition to having incomplete memories of that time, his experiences here in the present, would have made him need to a slightly different lover. And I think Kaiba's heightened intensity and wildness would draw him – while seeing how hard Seto has struggled – to protect Mokuba, to reclaim himself – would in turn, draw out the tender side of Yami's own personality. I think of it as the difference between loving, and being in love.

Title Note: I feel like being forced to read Somerset Maugham's "Of Human Bondage" in High School has finally paid off! Hated the book, loved the title. Of course as I was about to post – I realized how kinky the title sounds, but decided I like it, and it fits. Sorry for raising any false hopes…

RESPONSES TO REVIEWS:

Shadi and Kaiba: (AmunRa, Desidera, laura m, Lightning Sage, QueenOfGames2) I can easily see Shadi and Kaiba taking verbal pot shots at each other. Kaiba still blames Shadi for foiling his escape, and he probably has a hard time accepting that someone could have had that much control over the events of his life. And I think that Shadi finds Kaiba equally frustrating – because unlike with his friend – the High Priest – he doesn't know what this Seto will do, or thinks. So I think he finds that uncertainty unbearable, because this is someone he's used to knowing.

In many ways, Kaiba and Shadi are similar – although it was a good point that Shadi and Seto have even more in common. In the early manga episodes when Shadi talks about how depending on others is a weakness, he sounds just like Seto Kaiba. And where Kaiba, by now, is starting to question that, Seto is a long way from where Kaiba is in terms of trust.

That was also a good point, that since the pharaoh could protect his soul room, that Shadi should have expected Seto, as a high priest to be able to do the same. I think he figured that Seto would need to have access to the Sennen Rod for that. Like at one point, Malik threatens Isis, after she has given the necklace to Yugi by telling her that she no longer has a Sennen item to protect herself with.

Kaiba and Trust/Kaiba and Yami: (AnimeFan-Artemis, DarkYoaiFox, Desidera, EcoGoth, Kurosaisei, Lightning Sage) If there's one thing Kaiba's life has taught him, it's that he can't trust anyone. And breaking that self imposed rule, means risking not only himself, but Mokuba – if he makes a mistake and trusts the wrong person. So I think he would be very shocked to realize that he does trust Yugi and Yami. And I agree, he knows so little of trust, that he is hurt when he believes that they didn't trust his word, yet has been assuming that he, himself is incapable of trusting others. And the shock of realizing that he's wrong freezes him in place, long enough for Yami to get a little closer.

And I think Kaiba has locked his emotions away for so long, that realizing he feels something – especially something as powerful as desire would be a real shock to him. So I'm glad people liked that scene. I see him as having some very strong feelings, which have an even greater intensity because of how hard he's worked to deny they exist.

Yami/Kaiba's recent past: (laura m) As this follows Noa's World and Alcatraz, although Yami doesn't know the details, he is aware that Kaiba chose Gozaburo to give Mokuba a home, that he ended up designing weapons, and was possibly tricked into doing so – and still carries a tremendous burden of guilt as a result, that Gozaburo was abusive, and that Kaiba is now trying to meet Yami's challenge to him after Alcatraz – to defeat his demons of anger, hatred and bitterness.

Mokuba and the Kaiba brothers' past (Kurosaisei, Nachez-Black Rider) As you can see there is, and will be more of both Mokuba, and the Kaiba brother's pasts in this story. A series of flashbacks started in Chapter 8. In the first one, Seto was a little younger than the Seto in this story who comes to the future. The flashbacks continue, and Seto continues to age through them. One of the threads of the story is how Seto, who had chosen Gozaburo to protect Mokuba, turned into a threat to him instead. A lot of that is told through flashbacks from Kaiba and Mokuba.

Seto: (QueenOfGames2)Yeah, Seto's rude, arrogant, almost uncontrollable – and I love the little git, too.

Thanks to Mistal: The Poisoned One and Wintersslayer – thank you for your encouragement. I really like hearing from you. And yeah, I guess it was a bit of a cliff-hanger.