Chapter Four
Hey guys! Thanks for keeping your comments and ideas coming, I really appreciate it! I've been getting a lot of comments about the little thing I had about Lorraine not believing Joanne was Jewish, so I just want everyone to understand that I DO realize that Joanne could be Jewish. I wasn't saying that it was impossible, but it's not the most likely of situations. At least not where I'm from! So, I'm sorry for that comment, I didn't mean to offend anyone, and I will gladly go back and take it out if anyone wants me to!
"...and then Moses parted the sea-"
"Excuse me? Collins?"Collins looked up from his notes on the Old Testament to see Julia, who seemed to be the official spokesperson of the class, raising her hand.
"Uh, yes Julia?"Collins asked.
"Why are you telling us this?"Julia asked. Collins frowned.
"It's part of your religion..."he began.
"Yeah, we know this already,"Julia snapped back. "They've only been teaching it to us since we were born."Collins frowned at Julia.
"Well I just thought it was necessary for us to go over..."he replied, teeth barred, trying not to get too angry at the thirteen year-old.
"I don't see why it's so necessary. Shouldn't we be doing something useful, like actually practicing our Hebrew?"Julia continued, staring Collins down. Collins scowled at her.
"Would you like to teach this class, Julia?"he snapped.
"Gladly,"Julia answered, much to Collins's surprise.
"Well...too bad!"he snapped back lamely.
"What kind of professor are you?"Julia asked. "You're not very good at keeping people's attention."Julia pointed at Angel, who was asleep on her desk after an hour of Collins's talk, and then at Mark, who was slumped against the wall looking as if he were about to nod off at any moment. He quickly jumped up when he saw Collins glaring at him furiously.
"Uh, Collins, I think the kids have had enough Old Testament for one day,"he said.
"Thank God..."Julia muttered, shooting Collins a nasty look, which he returned.
"Mark, that little girl over there has a serious attitude!"Collins grumbled to Mark.
"Who? Julia? Yeah, tell me about it,"he snorted.
"You mean you're just going to allow her be rude like that?"Collins demanded, shocked at Mark's lack of concern.
"I'm not going to fight with a thirteen-year-old,"Mark replied.
"She's no thirteen-year-old! She's...Satan in a little girl's body!"Collins growled.
"Don't talk like that in religious class,"Mark scolded. And he turned his back to Collins, facing the kids. "Okay everybody, let's all thank Collins for his time and his, er...fascinating stories!"Only Laura and Jen bothered to mutter 'Thank you Collins' boredly. All the others just stared dumbly, and Julia scowled.
"Roger...your cult is giving me death glares,"Mimi whispered to Roger. Sure enough, Sarah, Laura and Jen were all staring at Mimi with deadly frowns plastered to their faces, as she stroked Roger's hair.
"Huh? Oh. They're just jealous,"Roger shrugged.
"Well it's kind of creeping me out,"Mimi admitted.
"Mimi, come on. They're twelve years old,"Roger snorted.
"Thirteen, Roger! There's a difference. Thirteen year olds are much more vicious,"Mimi insisted.
"Calm down, they're in a temple, they won't attack you,"Roger assured her.
"Fine...but if I'm jumped by a bunch of seventh graders after this, we are SO over!"
"Angel!"Collins kicked Angel's desk angrily. Angel sat up immediately, rubbing her eyes and grinning at Collins.
"Oh! Hi honey! Great talk!"she said cheerily. Collins frowned at her.
"You were asleep,"he pointed out.
"Who? Me? No! I was listening the whole..."Angel trailed off, realizing that Collins was not buying a word of what she was saying. "Okay, maybe not the WHOLE thing..."Collins grinned, laughing a little as he bent down and kissed Angel. Jay watched them, jaw dropped.
"Whoa...are you guys together?"he asked.
"How could you tell?"Angel teased.
"I–you–whoa,"was all the boy seemed able to get out, much to Collins and Angel's amusement.
"Mark!"Mark cringed at the sound of Julia calling out his name again. He slowly turned to face her, forcing a smile.
"Yes Julia?"he asked, trying not to sound annoyed.
"Are we actually going to be learning anything today? Because my father will not be pleased if I come out of this class having learned nothing,"Julia threatened.
"Of course we're going to learn things, Julia,"Mark replied, resisting the urge to slap her. Julia stared at him expectantly.
"Well? Start teaching,"she commanded. Mark stared back, though there was no doubt Julia's stare was far creepier. Mark clenched his fists, and grabbed one of the Hebrew scriptures laying out on a desk. "Everyone get your pens and pencils! We're learning Hebrew!"
Maureen stopped at the sound of Mark speaking in a language she had never heard before. She turned to him, watching as he babbled on and on, reading from the scripture as the kids translated on their papers. She walked over, listening more.
"Since when do you speak Spanish?"she asked. Mark stopped, frowning at her.
"Hebrew, Maureen,"he corrected. "And I don't really speak it. I mean, I know it from when I was in Hebrew school, and I had to read a passage at my Bar Mitzvah..."
"I would consider that speaking it, Mark,"Maureen teased. "How come you never told me?"
"You never asked,"Mark replied. "What's so great about it, anyways?"
"It's cute the way you talk like that,"Maureen insisted. "The way you say those ch noises...it's kind of hot."Mark stared at Maureen.
"Wow...Hebrew is a turn-on for you. Wish I'd known that when we were dating,"he joked.
"Excuse me, Mark? Will you actually be finishing this scripture, or just flirting with your little lesbian friend?"Julia snapped. Mark let out a deep breath, struggling to stop himself from running across the room and just strangling Julia.
"I'll be finishing it, Julia..."he replied, turning back to face the kids. Maureen pulled up a chair, sitting down beside Mark as he continued to read. Mark rolled his eyes, and tried his hardest to ignore the fact that his Hebrew reading was probably making Maureen horny.
"Okay...let's all take a short lunch-break here,"Mark said, as he finished the scripture. All the kids seemed to like this idea, all getting up and going to get their lunches. Julia marched right up to Mark.
"Could you please check my translation right now?"she asked, holding her paper out to Mark.
"Julia, it's lunch-break..."Mark began.
"I want to know what I got wrong so I can start studying for after break,"Julia insisted.
"We're not having a quiz, you don't have to study-"
"Check it, please,"Julia growled, giving Mark the most Satanic look he had ever seen on a little girl since the Exorcist. He shuddered a little, taking her paper and going over to a desk with it. Julia followed him, leaning over him as he began to correct her paper. Mark frowned.
"Are you going to stand over me like that the whole time?"he asked. Julia just glared at him, and Mark continued to correct her paper without another word...
"Can we eat lunch here, Roger?"The other three girls had all gathered around Roger and Mimi with their lunches.
"No,"Roger replied. The girls just giggled as they sat down around Roger, opening their lunches. Mimi squirmed uncomfortably as all the girls glared at her as they jammed their straws into their little juice boxes.
"Umm...I'm going to go see what Angel's doing!"she announced, quickly walking away from the girls.
"Mimi! Don't leave me!"Roger moaned after her. But she was already halfway across the room. Roger sighed as they girls all giggled rather evilly.
"What do you want?"he demanded, sneering at the girls. They seemed to love this.
"Will you play us a song?"
"No."
"Can we touch your hair?"
"No!"
"Can we sit here for the rest of class?"
"NO!"
"I'll give you the other half of my turkey sandwich if you let us stay here."Roger paused. Now food was involved. They had trapped him.
"...fine. I'll take the sandwich."
"Pookie?"Joanne looked up from the legal papers she had brought with her to work on. Maureen was standing there, with her famous pout.
"Yeah, honey bear?"she asked.
"Have you ever learned Hebrew, by any chance?"Maureen asked, sitting down beside Joanne. Joanne laughed a little.
"No. I was raised as a Catholic,"she replied. "Why do you ask?"Maureen grinned a playful sort of grin that she only got when something incredibly dirty was going through her mind.
"I think you should learn."
The kids are finally learning something!...sort of. Okay, next chapter will probably be the last so I can put this pathetic story out of its misery. The last chapter will actually have a lesson though!...or at least something remotely meaningful that Mark can teach the kids. I PROMISE THIS WILL ALL HAVE A POINT IN THE END!