Chapter Five
"Okay everyone! Lunch break is over!"Mark called to all the kids.
"Ooh, are you going to be speaking more Hebrew?"Maureen asked hopefully, sliding her chair over towards Mark.
"Uh, no..."he said, edging away a little.
"I made all the corrections on my paper. It's one hundred percent correct now,"Julia informed Mark.
"Good for you, Julia,"Mark replied casually. She frowned.
"Doesn't that mean I'm the best in the class?"she demanded.
"Now Julia, none of you are the best..."Mark began.
"Oh don't play dumb with me. That's not true, and you know it. There's always one kid who's smarter than all the rest. And that's me...right?"Julia asked. Fearing for his life, Mark nodded.
"Of course, Julia..."he squeaked, backing away a little. That's when he noticed that the three other girls hadn't returned to their seats. "Hey! Girls! Come back to your seats, break is over!"
"Roger said we could sit here,"Jen said.
"Girls, I–wait, Roger what?"
"He said we could sit here for the rest of class!"
"Roger?"Mark said questioningly, turning to his best friend. Roger shrugged, holding up the turkey sandwich he had gained from the bargain.
"It was for food, Mark,"he said. Mark sighed.
"Fine, you girls can sit there...as long as you promise to pay attention,"he said.
"We will!"Sarah assured him, as the girls giggled happily.
"Okay...is everyone back in there seats?"Mark asked, looking around the classroom. Everyone seemed to be sitting back down in their places. "Good. Now I thought we'd finish up the class today by summing up just what exactly you all know about your religion."Julia's hand shot up immediately.
"Judaism started back in-"
"No! Julia! All of you need to contribute one thing, not just you speaking for the whole class,"Mark explained. Julia looked around the classroom, then back at Mark.
"You really think they're going to be able to tell you anything? They probably don't even know why they're here,"she snapped.
"Well, we're going to make them start thinking about that,"Mark replied. "Now, I want you all to write down one fact you know about-"
"Ew, more writing?"Angel cried out suddenly, pulling her face away from Collins' upon hearing Mark's instructions.
"Yeah. What's wrong with that?"Mark asked.
"Well, I don't know about these guys, but I never learned anything from just writing all the time,"Angel explained, marching up to the front of the classroom.
"My college students don't even like writing,"Collins agreed, joining Angel and Mark in front of the class.
"The only writing I remember enjoying in high school was the kind I did with spray paint on the walls outside!"Maureen laughed.
"Well what else are we supposed to do? You can't exactly teach religion visually,"Mark pointed out.
"Of course you can! Instead of having the kids write down silly notes, why not have them actually explain what they know to some non-Jewish people?"Angel suggested. Mark hesitated a moment.
"What non-Jewish people, Angel?"he asked, nudging Angel. She rolled her eyes.
"Oh please Mark, I think they can tell we're not Jewish by now,"she said.
"Yeah. We're not stupid,"Julia had to add in.
"Whoa...you're not Jewish?"Porter asked, shocked by this news. Angel sighed.
"Well, you always get a few who are a little slow on the uptake..."she said. "Hey! Class! Guess what? WE'RE NOT JEWISH!"
"Not even Mark?"Jen asked skeptically.
"Well, Mark is. But the rest of us aren't!"Angel called out. "Okay, good, now that we've got that out in the open...it's time for you kids to teach us all a little bit about your religion."
"Aren't you supposed to be teaching us?"Tim asked.
"No. Mark is! And he wants to see what you all know. So you're going to tell us what you know, okay?"Angel explained. The kids seemed to like this idea.
"We want to teach Roger!"Jen, Sarah and Laura all chimed.
"I call Maureen!"Porter yelled.
"Fine, then I get Mimi!"John declared.
"Harry and I get dibs on Collins,"Larry called quickly.
"Aw man...then I take the lawyer lady!"Tim insisted.
"And you get me!"Angel said, patting Jay's head as he stared up at her nervously.
"So that leaves me with Mark,"Julia said, an evil grin spreading across her face. Mark moaned, and Collins patted him on the back.
"Have fun with Satan, Mark,"he teased. And he went off to join Harry and Larry.
"...and Abraham was the prophet who first spoke to God,"Porter was explaining to Maureen.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa...who's this Abraham guy? Whatever happened to Jesus?"Maureen asked.
"Jesus was the prophet for Christianity,"Porter replied.
"But you guys told me Jesus was Jewish!"Maureen insisted.
"He was. Catholicism came after Jesus died. He was Jewish when he was alive,"Porter explained. Maureen stared at him in shock.
"Wow...do they tell you all this in the Bible?"
"...and that's when they made the Covenant with God!"Jen finished the story she and the other girls had explained to Roger.
"Did you like the story, Roger?"
"Did we have good facts, Roger?"
"Do you think we did a good job, Roger?"Roger stared at the three girls.
"...what the fuck's a covenant?"
"So you're telling me that you're this 'Chosen People' because some guy made a covenant with God?"Mimi asked John.
"Uh huh,"John replied, nodding.
"How do you know the guy wasn't just some wack-job who was hearing voices or something?"Mimi questioned.
"Because that's part of our faith. We believe that Abraham talked to God,"John said.
"Well, do you have proof?"Mimi demanded.
"You don't need proof. That's the point of religion,"John pointed out. Mimi nodded.
"Huh...I should try this religion stuff some time."
"So, how would you pronounce this?"Joanne had decided to go along with whatever Maureen's crazy plan was, and try to learn some Hebrew.
"Oh, that's ch,"Tim helped. "That word, chai-im, means life."
"Really? You mean, you can actually read this, and understand it?"Joanne asked.
"Yeah. We've been learning it since we were kids,"Tim said, nodding.
"Wow...you're not as dumb as I thought!"Joanne announced. Tim frowned...and shrugged, deciding to take that as a compliment.
"I just don't get it,"Collins was saying to Harry and Larry. "Why wear tiny little hats that don't fit on your heads?"
"They're yarmulkes!"Harry said.
"Yeah, I know what they are. But why do you wear them?"Collins asked. Both boys stopped, pondering this.
"...we just do,"Larry invented.
"Yeah!"Harry added enthusiastically. Collins sighed.
"Looks like you two have a bit more to learn."
"So that's why you guys only bother to read the Old Testament and not the new one! I always just thought the rabbi's were feeling lazy,"Angel remarked.
"No. We don't believe Jesus was the son of God, so we don't read the stories about him,"Jay replied. He had become much more comfortable with Angel as they talked.
"Well, you learn something new every day!"Angel cried. "So...what's the story behind that flat bread stuff?"
"Mark? Mark, are you listening to me?"Julia snapped angrily, waving her hand in front of Mark's face. He was leaning his face on his hand, eyes half closed as Julia babbled on and on about the entire history of every Jewish tradition ever.
"Huh? Oh yeah...of course I was,"he muttered, stifling a yawn. Julia glowered at him.
"You were falling asleep,"she growled.
"Well, Julia, no offense but...I know this stuff already,"Mark pointed out.
"Fine. Then I'll teach you things you don't know about,"Julia replied. Mark frowned.
"I went through this exact same course. Good luck trying to find something I haven't learned about,"he said. Julia glared at Mark for a moment...and then an evil grin spread across her face. She reached into her bag and pulled out a rather large book, slamming it down on the desk.
"Here's something I bet you haven't read,"she said smugly. Mark looked at the cover. It read 'The Entire Woman's Guide to Jewish Life'. His eyes widened as Julia grinned and opened the book to chapter one...
"Fuck,"Mark muttered. "Uh, you know, I think it's about to wrap up these discussions!"
"I never really noticed how much I actually knew about this before!"Porter exclaimed, as they all settled back down into their seats.
"Yeah, me too!"John agreed.
"Well, that's good. It looks like you all got something out of this!"Mark said happily.
"What's a yarmulke for?"Harry and Larry asked. Mark stopped.
"...I take that back. It looks like most of you got something out of this."
"I'm actually kind of excited for this Bar Mitzvah thing now,"Jay admitted.
"Really?"Mark asked, surprised.
"Yeah. I mean, it's not so bad,"Jay said. Some of the other boys nodded in agreement.
"Roger's inspired us to follow our religion!"Jen announced, gazing up at Roger, who scowled around the room at them all. Mark frowned.
"...he has?"he asked.
"Yeah!"the girls all chimed together.
"Wow Roger. You have more power than you thought,"Mark teased. Roger glared and threw a crumpled up paper ball at his friend's head.
"What will we be doing to wrap up the class, Mark? A quiz?"Julia asked hopefully.
"No, not a quiz,"Mark replied. "I think I have a better idea..."
At 5:00 in the evening, Lorraine came into the room to find Roger sitting on a desk in the center of the room, playing his guitar as the kids danced around him, singing in Hebrew. Maureen and Angel were also dancing and attempting to sing along, and Mimi was sitting with Roger, clapping her hands along to the beat, as Collins skipped around outside the circles, screaming out 'Hey!' and jumping up onto the furniture, trying to get Joanne to join in. Mark was trying to pick up the scriptures that Collins had knocked down as Lorraine came over to him.
"It looks like your friends are enjoying the class!"she screamed over the singing and the music. Mark jumped a little, and turned around.
"Oh! Uh, yeah. Yeah, they are!"he replied, nodding. "Is class over already?"
"It is! I'm so sorry, I wish it was longer!"Lorraine said apologetically.
"Oh no! It was just long enough. Trust me..."Mark insisted.
"Did the kids enjoy the class?"Lorraine asked.
"They seemed to,"Mark shrugged.
"Oh, wonderful! I just knew they'd love you!"Lorraine said, going to pinch Mark's cheek again, but he pulled away.
"Yeah, great, super! So, I guess we're done here, huh?"he asked quickly.
"Yes, yes! CHILDREN!"Lorraine screeched. Roger stopped playing, and the kids stopped singing and dancing. Collins tripped over a chair, falling to the ground with a thud. "Class is over children! Your parents are all waiting for you outside!"The kids all groaned as they grabbed their bags and their papers. Lorraine looked shocked.
"They're groaning! They usually come out of here cheering!"she cried. The kids all waved and called good-bye to the bohemians as they left.
"Bye guys! Thanks!"Porter and Tim called.
"I can't wait to tell my friends at the other temple about you guys!"John said excitedly.
"BYE COLLINS!"Harry and Larry chimed in unison.
"Bye Angel,"Jay said. Angel gave Jay one of her pinky waves...which he returned, grinning.
"Bye Roger!"Jen, Sarah and Laura all giggled, waving at Roger frantically.
"Uh...bye,"Roger muttered, offering a small wave.
"Bye guys!"Mimi called, waving back. The girls stopped, all shooting her one last glare before leaving. Julia popped up before Mark suddenly, as he waved to the others from the door.
"AH!"Mark shrieked, jumping a little. Julia held out her small hand, in a very business-like fashion.
"It was nice working with you, Cohen,"she said, as Mark shook her hand carefully. "Of course, you could use some work...but you were certainly an improvement on the last few ninnies we've scared out of here. Nice job."
"Uh...thank you?"Mark said awkwardly. Julia nodded, and marched out the door. Lorraine came running back over, wrapping Mark into a huge hug.
"Oh Mark, you and your friends were such a success! I've never seen the children so happy!"she cried.
"Uh...that's great,"Mark replied. "Glad we could help."
"Oh, I can't wait until next year's class get's to meet you all!"Lorraine squealed, running back out the door excitedly. Mark froze, eyes wide, jaw dropped.
"Next year?"he repeated. His friends had all surrounded him, looking just as shocked.
"Good luck with that, Mark."
"You're on your own, Cohen."
"Sorry Mark...we don't love you that much."And his friends were all out the door in a flash. Mark sighed.
"They always turn on the scrawny Jewish kid..."
THE END. Yeah, pretty pointless, I know. All my creativeness has fled from me! But hey, I never promised any deep meanings to this whole thing!...okay, so I promised a point, but we got one across!...somewhere in there...I'm sure a point got across to someone...Anyways, thanks for putting up with this and reading it all the way through. Much love to my poor readers!