Please Read and Review… mainly because I'd like to hear what you think of the story. I'd also like to take a minute to thank everyone for their thoughtful reviews.
CHAPTER 27: TALKING WITH DRAGONSYAMI'S POV
Kaiba called me into his office downstairs. I had not seen him in over a week; had given up waiting for him to come home… or to bed. It would have been amusing, if it hadn't hurt so badly – Kaiba had literally avoided his own bedroom, in his efforts to evade me. If we ran into each other in the hallway, he would look at me… no he would look right through me… as though we were strangers… as though I was invisible.
And I had no idea why.
My love for Kaiba was the one thought… the one emotion that I was sure was truly my own. And so my passion for him became the Rosetta Stone through which I interpreted all feelings. At first, I had wondered if my new found desires had led me astray, had deluded me into imagining that Kaiba had felt more than he had expressed… if I had substituted my feelings for his… or if it was simply that Kaiba had exhausted his limited capacity for intimacy.
Then, one day, as I was debating whether to tell Yugi that it was time for us to return to the Game Shop which no longer felt like my home, I walked past Kaiba, and felt his eyes burning into my back. I turned abruptly; caught him staring at me with an expression of pain and grief and longing on his unguarded face, before he disappeared around a corner.
I knew then, that whatever he was feeling – it wasn't indifference. Suddenly I understood. Something had happened that was so bad he had retreated to lick his wounds in private. But that didn't make his abrupt withdrawal any easier to bear… or to forgive.
He was tense now, very formal… as if we were back to being wary allies… as if we had never been lovers.
"I have a prototype of the game that Seto's been working on. It's very informative about Ancient Egypt and its people. I must show it to you."
I pondered his choice of words… 'must' show it to me, not 'want' to.
"It's not a standard role-playing game any more," he continued, in that same stilted voice. "Now, it's Seto's game. I suppose that makes it mine."
Kaiba flicked through the initial screens, stopped at the character selection. I saw what he meant. The Monkey King was now Mokuba's double. The sorcerer resembled Akunadin. My slim frame, wild, tri-colored hair and crimson eyes had been lovingly recreated in the prince – fairy-tale handsome no longer – but real, as if awoken by a kiss. I looked at the prince's half lidded eyes, his tousled hair… he looked like he had just finished making love.
I was startled. The whole time Kaiba had been avoiding me, he had been bringing this avatar to life. He had never said the word, 'love', yet his love was staring back at me from the screen. I looked at the prince's name.
"Mornie," I repeated slowly. "What does it mean?"
"Darkness."
"I wish he was all I was bringing you here to see," he added harshly. "But he's not. For this game, you need to be not Mornie, but Ninquiloce."
I looked at his selection. It was the Elf warrior. He was masculine, yet possessed a delicate, deadly beauty of his own. Threads of his brown hair almost covered his jeweled blue eyes, the rest was caught at the back in a pony-tail, a few strands escaping to frame his thin face. The resemblance to Kaiba was unmistakable.
"The course of the game is predetermined," he told me. "Just accept the choices being made. Don't try to change any of them. Don't try to save Ninquiloce. You can't… not really. I know that now. All you can do is delay the inevitable." Kaiba handed me the controller, and added, "Whatever you think of me when this is over… remember – whatever it takes – I will win this game. I promise, no mistakes this time.
Kaiba was right. It was not your standard game. Usually you can be the hero and try to save the world. Sometimes you can be the villain and try to take it over. Here the choices were far more fluid. I closed my eyes and saw myself facing Rafael, so sure of my own power. Like me, my screen alter ego, (Kaiba's double), could choose evil, and then either try to redeem himself, or continue his downward path. At times it was hard to tell which choice would lead where, just as it had been on that day dueling Rafael; just as it had been atop of Pegasus's Tower. And it was this interplay, more than the inevitable battles and scavenger hunts, that gave the game its tension.
The Ancient Egypt background was frighteningly realistic. As if Seto had lived there – or had heard about it from someone who had.
Following Kaiba's instructions, I let the character follow his downward course. Eventually Ninquiloce met the tall gaunt sorcerer with the gray hair and flowing robes, who had so resembled Akunadin. My interest quickened. I was certain that this was what Kaiba had brought me here to see. And yet, the scene was deceptively calm. As the pair walked through the streets, the older man pointed out the sights to the teenaged boy at his side, as if he wanted nothing more than to share his world, and tell of its wonders. I had to force myself to remember that the sorcerer was the villain of the story; and that his intent must be evil.
I watched them meander peacefully through the town, looking for all the world like a father and son enjoying an outing, but I soon realized that there was nothing random about the path they were treading. Ninquiloce turned down an alley, seeming to grow younger with each step, until he was Seto's age, not Kaiba's. I frowned at the screen. Kaiba did nothing by chance. He was telling me something, or trying to. Suddenly I remembered Kaiba saying that this was Seto's game… which made it his.
The young Ninquiloce retrieved a small item. It looked like a ball. The sorcerer nodded his approval as the youth knelt and offered the golden orb to the older man as the proof of his allegiance. I watched in growing horror as the sorcerer shoved it into his own eye, blood spurting across the screen (Yugi and Jounouchi would love this, I suddenly thought). The sorcerer fell to the ground, writhing in pain, before gaining control and standing up, taller and more commanding than ever. I looked at my poor elf warrior. His eyes were as blank as after Death-T; the pupils gone. He stood proudly at his master's side. My Little Dragon's transformation to evil was complete – and at the beginning, unwitting.
I sat back stunned. Anyone who had ever played a game designed by Kaiba knew – from Death-T, to his hologram duel monsters, to his virtual worlds – he put a piece of his soul in each one.
"What are you telling me?" I whispered, though I thought I knew the answer. But I could have shouted. The room was empty. Kaiba had disappeared again. Of course… he would see Seto's downfall as his own.
I reminded myself that this was simply one of many possible endings. I was still sitting, staring at the "Game Over" message when Shadi reappeared.
"It's time to re-open the idea of entering the younger Seto Kaiba's soul room," he said.
"I think I just did."
"He has made contact with Akunadin."
"I know."
"Then let me enter his mind. He will not have the defenses the older one has," Shadi said urgently.
I shuddered at the thought of Shadi rampaging through Seto's mind. He considered Seto a danger, not a child. I knew Shadi well enough to know that he would not be gentle – nor care how much was left.
"No. I have another way. That's an order." I said as I left.
"Where are you going?"
"To talk to Kaiba," I said, remembering his promise to win at all costs.
KAIBA'S POVI was waiting for Yami in the conference room next to my office. I had left the door open so he'd know where to find me. I didn't want the inevitable confrontation to take place in a room where we had… in my bedroom. As at Death-T, I wanted Yami to shatter my heart on neutral ground. I would have deserved it if Shadi had appeared instead. I swear, I would have let him do his worst. But I knew… Yami would come after me himself.
"He's been going to see Akunadin?" Yami said as he entered the room. It was not a question.
I shrugged. There was nothing to say, and it clearly wasn't news, anymore.
"Why?" Yami asked.
"Seto figured that he could keep Akunadin on a string, while learning all he could. He wanted to scope out the situation for himself. You don't think he'd take our word for anything, do you?" I answered. "Besides, he needed details about Egypt for his game, and Akunadin looked like the best source. It's ironic, isn't it? An Ancient Egypt-flavored game became his escape. He was losing himself in his own storyline, and he wanted it to be perfect. That's all Seto was after – at first."
"And now?"
"Now he's tempted by Akunadin's offer."
"How do you know?"
I went to the computer and opened a file. Akunadin's face filled the screen. His lips were moving, but I didn't turn on the sound. The last thing I wanted to hear was Akunadin telling Seto Egyptian fairy tales, again. I sighed at Yami's look of incomprehension.
"There's a mini-web cam in the dragon belt buckle he wears. I can see and hear everything he does," I explained.
"You spied on yourself?" Yami asked incredulously.
"Who better to know how little I can be trusted?"
Yami came over to me then, and laid a hand gently on my shoulder – as if we were still lovers. As if my confession hadn't ended that.
"What's tempting him, Kaiba?" he asked softly.
I hesitated. It was bad enough he knew that I was a traitor… knew that Death-T was part of my very nature. Even here, away from Gozaburo, I was still about to betray Mokuba, once again. Maybe I was born to betray him. Maybe I was not only the stray dog Gozaburo had always called me, but a rabid one too – attacking those nearest me.
Fine. Yami finally had the proof of just how evil I could be – of just what was sleeping inside of me. Did he have to know what a weak fool I was, too?
But he was entitled to an answer. If nothing else, I would pay my debt in full. Forcing the words out, I said, "Seto was too cocky. And not quite as good at hiding his emotions as he thought he was. He showed Akunadin a weakness to exploit." I paused again, and finally said, "He's starting to think of Akunadin as a father."
Yami didn't stop me as I left the room.
Thanks to Clarity for betaing this chapter, and helping to make it a lot more complete.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: Thanks to Amarin Rose for suggesting "Talking With Dragons" as a chapter title. Of course considering it's about Kaiba, "Talking with Dragons who are not answering" might have been more appropriate.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: The interesting thing about writing first person POV is that you can't get ahead of your characters… and you can't know more than they do. Like in this chapter – when you look at how Yami duels – he's very patient – he studied his opponent and he rarely acts until he feels like he understands what's going on. So I think he's hold off on confronting Kaiba about his behavior until he felt more confident he understood why Kaiba was avoiding him. Also, he's the King of Games – I think he's be way to proud and reserved to demand an explanation. At first I tried to think of how to get that across – but then I realized that it wouldn't even occur to Yami to demand an explanation from Kaiba – which means I can't either – at least not in his POV.
Kaiba Note: I know, Kaiba does a lot of walking away in this chapter. But he tends to do that in the anime, whenever the conversation turns to his emotions. Like in Noa's World, when the gang all gets together after learning about Noa, and Seto's history with Gozaburo… and learning that Noa has brainwashed Mokuba. Kaiba's at the fringes, as usual, but he's hanging around – until Yugi expresses sympathy for what he must be feeling. And Kaiba abruptly turns and walks away. So I think retreating, almost without realizing it, is a strategy Kaiba employs when he's under stress and attacking isn't a viable option.
Slightly silly Author's Note: See, I play fair! I mentioned Seto's ridiculously oversized dragon belt buckle twice before. In fact, Kaiba noted it was the one article of Seto's clothing he approved of.
RESPONSES TO REVIEWS:
Mokuba: (AmunRa, BH, Desidera, elirian19, Kanoi1, laura m, Nachzes Black-Rider, QueenOfGames2, sglily, StainofCurare, Troubled Talent, Wintersslayer) In the beginning, I think Mokuba did see Seto as a father. One of the most touching scenes in the anime is when Seto promises to be his father and take care of him (and immediately tells Mokuba that the way to be happy is to never trust anyone!) You can see Mokuba looking up at him with these large trusting eyes. But I think this dynamic changes at Death-T. For the first time Mokuba sees Seto as someone who has lost his way, and needs Mokuba's help. It's interesting that losing two shadow games has no effect of Mokuba's attitude, but being shown a totally undeserved kindness, first by Yugi and then by Anzu, shocks him into seeing what has happened to himself and his brother.
From then on, although Mokuba's love for Kaiba hasn't lessened, (if anything, it's grown) it's now an aware love. He physically cares for Kaiba through his coma, tries to save Kaiba Corporation, because he can't stand to have Seto's sacrifices been in vain, and he tries to help his brother complete the same journey of finding another way to live, that Mokuba himself has begun. (Okay, I have to admit, if there's a character I'm in danger of idealizing, it's this one. The great thing about fanfiction is I can put a lot of the blame on Mr. Takahashi for creating such a great little guy.)
It's funny, I didn't realize that having Mokuba talk about how special he is could sound boastful. That wasn't my intent, although I can see how it could come across that way. I pictured him trying to get through to his brother how much he's done for him, and having this all sort of burst out of him.
At first I did think that Mokuba might feel jealous of Kouma, but the more I thought about it, the less likely that seemed. I could see Mokuba resenting Kouma, because he looked on his younger self as the source of Kaiba's problems – sort of thinking, 'if it wasn't for me, Seto would have had a good life with one of those families that wanted him.' By now, however, seeing how happy Kouma makes Kaiba, has him looking at his younger self through new eyes.
Birth Parents: (elirian19, StainofCurare) Although it's tempting to picture Kaiba having a happy family, I don't think that's the case, at least not since Mokuba's birth. Because if you look at how Kaiba deals with emotional stress, it's by denying his feelings exist, and by throwing himself in his work. It seems to me that his earliest role model for that might be his father. I guess I also see Mokuba being the central person he had to love, even before the orphanage. I think that's part of the reason he was so devoted to him after the death of their parents. One thing I've always admired about Yugioh as a story is the way it really looks at how loss has affected the brothers so deeply.
Kaiba's denseness: (Ceribi Motou, EcoGoth, Kanoi1, Maris, Troubled Talent, Yume no Zencho) Complicated Personality Syndrome pretty much sums Kaiba up. But the one thing that always strikes me is that he has very good reasons for feeling the way he does. I mean his entire life has taught him to not to trust people, and certainly not to expect love or even friendship to be words that apply to him. So I think that it's only as he builds up new, more positive experiences, that he can learn from them, and possibly change (although the jury's still out on that one.) And that makes the idea that Yami could care, in a way, a scary idea – because accepting it overturns all his beliefs.
Akunadin recap: (Desidera, Hikari Ryu) Yeah, it's probably easy to lose track of Akunadin. Basically, his part of the story revolves around the Sennen Eye and Rod. 3,000 years ago, these items were split – with each copy having half of it's original power. Akunadin and his master, Zork, have one copy of each. Since these are Sennen Items, they can't just grab the other ones – they must be freely given them or win them in a duel from the legitimate holders – which in this case are potentially Seto and Kaiba. So basically Akunadin's in a holding pattern until the two versions of Seto Kaiba claim the items. Yami way back in Chapter 15, realize that this gives them the time they need to get their act together. This is made more complicated by the fact that Seto is tempted by Akunadin's offer, because he's resentful of Kaiba and Yami's relationship, and drawn to the idea that Akunadin might actually care about him. Kaiba, who's been spying on him, becomes aware of this, which is where we are now. As to how Akunadin feels, you'll have to wait for further updates.
Note to sglily and Troubled Talent – Thank you. I've really tried to create a story that means something. Sometimes it's almost embarrassing realizing how much I care about the story and it's characters, so your comment touched me very much. Also it was nice to hear that I seem in control of the storyline – especially since so much seems to be getting worked into it.
Note to Ceribi Motou – Thanks! You picked one of those passages that I just end up rewriting endlessly, until I finally feel like I've said what I mean (sort of like Dr. Seuss' Horton). And thanks for saying that picking a favorite was a hard choice. Probably the part I was happiest with was Kaiba's observation: "Later when my father explained what had happened… how Mokuba had cost my mother her life… I accepted it, as my father, in his adult wisdom, could not. It was an exchange – as if my favorite baseball team had traded one player for another."
Note to Mistal: The Poisoned One: Thanks for your continued encouragement. It's nice to hear from you.