This was written for Brandywine421's Death! Challenge. Hopefully you like it, and let me know what you thought! Thanks.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

Her first thought was that she was pregnant.

Kirsten had woken up nauseous for more mornings that she had admitted to Sandy, and had felt exhausted. She would go to bed before Sandy, and she would sleep later, but she still felt like she wasn't getting enough sleep.

The possibility that it was more than just feeling tired crossed her mind, but she was so busy with the boys and being home again and her new business venture with Julie Cooper that she pushed any thoughts to the back of her mind.

It was when she woke up feeling like she was going to throw up for the second week in a row that she thought that maybe she could be pregnant. She wasn't sure how Sandy would take the news, or, oh God, the boys, so she made the doctor's appointment and kept it to herself. Kirsten wasn't sure how she felt about the possibility of another baby. Sure, the boys were leaving for college soon and the house would be so empty, but another baby? At almost forty? She could remember how exhausting it was with Seth, and she had been twenty-one. Would she and Sandy be able to do it again? Would Sandy even want to do it again?

She was so nervous about the idea of being pregnant again that it being something else never even entered her mind. She was convinced that if anything it was pregnancy, but probably, since she was on birth control, it was probably just stress that was making her tired and nauseous.

They did blood work at the doctor's office, and they had asked her to come into a little office apart from the examination room. Kirsten then waited an abnormally long time in that little private office for the doctor to come talk to her. She twisted her wedding ring around her finger and suddenly wished that she had reconsidered bringing Sandy along. She could practically feel his hand in hers, telling her that it was okay, and making her laugh to dissipate some of her nerves. This was not normal, she told herself, bringing her into this room away from everyone was not normal, and then shook her head for being so paranoid.

When the doctor walked in with a frown on his face, she swallowed hard. She saw his mouth moving, but she couldn't hear anything but the buzzing in her ears.

"We'd like you to come back in on Thursday for more tests, Mrs. Cohen," he said and she nodded, numbly, and collected her things and had gotten to the car before realizing that she was shaking.

When Sandy came home that day, he found her in their bedroom sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at her wedding ring. She had been in that same position for over an hour, amazed that she hadn't gotten herself a drink or cried yet. She didn't look towards the door when Sandy came in, instead she moved her head slightly to look out the window and her voice was so soft that Sandy wasn't sure that he had heard her at first.

"I thought I might be pregnant, so I went to the doctor's today to make sure," Kirsten's voice was monotone, and Sandy moved closer to her. Pregnant? Why hadn't she said anything to him? He had noticed her exhaustion, Kirsten had never been one to take naps, but he had come home from work on more than one occasion to find her curled up on their bed sleeping.

"I'm not," Kirsten finally looked up at him, their eyes meeting. "They think I have ovarian cancer."

Sandy went with her to the next doctor's appointment. He sat in the waiting room while they did tests, and tried to read a magazine, only to find that he had read the same page four times without actually comprehending any of it. He finally was called into the office to sit with her while they waited for the doctor, and he wrapped his hand around hers and promised her that he was there for her no matter what and they would get through this.

He tightened his hand around hers as the doctor explained that they needed to schedule a surgery to see the extent of the cancer, and Kirsten remained calm and collected as they picked a date for the next week. Sandy was screaming inside, but he followed his wife's lead as she thanked the doctor with a small smile and they left the office and got to the car before her exterior cracked. It was only after they had climbed in and Sandy started the car that Kirsten began to cry.

"Fuck," she whispered, her voice getting louder with each one. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!" She threw her head back against the seat behind her as she screamed. Sandy reached over immediately and pulled her into his arms kissing her cheeks and tasting the salty tears that began to drip down her face.

"It's going to be okay, we're going to be okay, we're going to beat this. Do you hear me? You're going to be okay," Sandy wasn't sure who he was convincing, himself or Kirsten, but she seemed to calm down, and Sandy started the car again and drove home.

It wasn't until later, after he had tucked Kirsten into bed after she had exhausted herself from crying. It wasn't until after he greeted their sons like nothing was wrong, with a fake smile pasted on his face, telling them that Kirsten had a rough day and was sleeping, and asked them politely how their day at school had gone. It was until after they were safely tucked away in their respective bedrooms that he snuck out of the house and down the path to the beach. It wasn't until then that he cried.

Sandy's knees had suck down into the wet sand and he had screamed at the ocean. Raw cries that ripped out of his throat and got lost in the sound of the waves. He let the water wash up over him as he begged whatever deity that would listen to not take her from him.

He made his way back up to the house, creeping through the dark and quiet backyard, and saw Ryan standing at the windows in the pool house watching him. He knew he should go over and reassure him, tell him that everything was okay, but the words got stuck in the back of his throat and instead he made his way back into the house, knowing that he and Kirsten had agreed to talk to the boys the next day after dinner. Sandy was too exhausted to do anything but change out of his wet clothes and climb into the bed next to his fitfully sleeping wife, and pull her to him, watching as her chest moved up and down with every shuddering breath.

Sandy didn't go into the office the next day, instead, he got up to greet the boys and see them off to school and then he climbed back into bed next to Kirsten, who was lying awake with her eyes open.

"My mother died of ovarian cancer," she whispered. Her eyes closed again and she felt the tears leak out the side. Sandy didn't need to be reminded. He had spent the good part of the night trying to remember all that he could from when Kirsten's mother Catherine had been sick. The only thing he could remember was the end when the cancer had progressed too far to stop it. He remembered her pale face, and her shaking hands, and he looked over at his wife and rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.

"You're younger than she was," he reminded her. "You're strong." Kirsten's shoulders began to heave and Sandy wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, and she buried her head in his chest and sobbed.

"Oh God, the boys," she sobbed. "They don't need this. They were supposed to have nothing to worry about this year but which college to go to, and graduation, and girls. How are we going to tell them? What are we going to tell them?"

"We tell them what we know," Sandy replied. "It's going to be okay."

When Kirsten finally moved to take a shower, Sandy kissed her shoulder and watched her go and allowed himself to cry again. He refused to cry in front of her. He refused to allow her to worry about him, she was worrying about herself and the boys enough as it was.

He would only cry when she was not around, he would be strong for her. They would get through this.