Please Read and Review: I've always felt (there's poem that said this) that until it's been read, a story is just ink on a page – so I'd like to know what you think.

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

SHADOW GAME NOTE: In the manga, Sugoroku has a BEWD. Kaiba steals it from Yugi, and get challenged to a Shadow Game by Yami. He loses when he tries to play the BEWD and it destroys itself.

SEKIHO ARMY REMINDER: At the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate, there was a certain amount of chaos in Japan, partly because this once fairly isolated nation had a sudden infusion of foreign (i.e. Western) contact, and partly because after over 200 years the government was starting to break down and there was a certain amount of social unrest. Anyway, the revolutionaries or the Imperialist side) wanted to turn Japan from a feudal society to a modern nation state, unified under an emperor. At this time, there was a peasant revolt, mostly over land and tax issues in many provinces. The pro-Imperialist side encouraged this, as a way of further weakening the Shogunate, and sent Sagara Sozo, among others, to organize the farmers, creating the Sekiho-tai. However, when the Imperialist side realized they were going to win, they also realized that they couldn't afford to keep the tax relief promises Sagara had made in their name. They declared the Sekiho-tai to be imposters, and arrested and executed Sagara and other top commanders. In 1928, the government offered an official apology, clearing their name, and honoring the troop.

CHAPTER 41: PYRAMID OF LIGHT

KAIBA'S POV

We had been working steadily for two weeks. Since the punk had recklessly promised an Ancient Egypt real enough to fool someone who'd lived there, it was up to us to deliver. The holograms were the easy part. It was the virtual world technology that was the pain in the ass. It had taken us over a week of the no-sleep game to figure it out, and even longer to complete the installation, laying the holographic system over its surface.

The whole time, we hadn't said more than was needed to solve the latest problem, or pass the equipment back and forth. I guess most people would have a lot to say to their younger (or older) selves, but Seto was out of questions, and I certainly had no words of wisdom for him. And I had discovered something – we liked working together in silence.

His hands were smaller than mine. He could thread the wiring more easily. My fingers were longer and more skilled. I was making the delicate final adjustments to the holographic projectors.

We were almost done with the final tests; by tomorrow we'd be ready to face Akunadin. I spoke, breaking the companionable silence.

"You'll survive," I said. "Gozaburo, I mean."

Seto looked at me, with unreadable blue eyes.

"Will you?" he asked.

It was Mokuba's question, Yami's question, now being echoed back to me, in my own voice.

I shrugged. "It's hard sometimes, having him dead. I kept him alive for years with my hatred and anger, just so I'd have someone to fight. Because if I admitted that I'd won, there'd be no one left but me and my demons. And it was my battles… against Gozaburo… against the orphanage… against everyone and everything that kept telling me to give up… that defined me, that gave my life meaning. So how could I admit that I'd won? How could I admit it was over?"

I expected this to feel uncomfortable. But it was just like thinking out loud. Maybe that's all talking really is. I went on, although I knew that Seto wouldn't really understand. That was okay. Maybe he would, one day. "It's taken me this long to realize that the past may have created me, but it doesn't have to limit me. I was the one who gave it that power. I was the one who gave Gozaburo that power. And I can stop. Maybe I'm still being defined by my battles. It's just that this one is within myself."

I slipped my Blue Eyes White Dragon into my duel disk; watched him soar above us, sheltering us with his outstretched wings.

"I freed him from the confines of his card," I said, nodding towards my dragon. "Can I do the same for myself? I hope so. I'm going to try. But first we have to get through Akunadin."

"No contest. Akunadin might be more powerful, but Gozaburo was worse. Next to him, Akunadin's just a clown in a dress," Seto laughed.

As always, Seto was just a little too sure of himself. It was going to get him into trouble… one day. But today, I laughed along with him. Only I could come up with a mortal enemy who was about to become the villain in a soon-to-be best-selling video game.

YAMI'S POV

I ran into Seto in the Kaiba Land lobby, as he was leaving. He looked even more disreputable than usual, which must have taken some effort. He was sweaty and covered in soot, as though he had been crawling on (or through) the floor. He was carrying a tool-box, which probably explained the fine coating of plaster dust.

"You're too late," he said. "If you're looking for your precious little Koryuu, he's gone."

"I thought you were going to be working tonight. Or is it too much to hope that you're both getting some rest before finishing up?"

"Us? We're done. I'm going to see Akunadin now. You might as well round up your usual collection of idiots. Tomorrow – it's Showtime."

"So soon?"

"Surprised?" he asked.

"No. I have always believed in you."

Like his older self, Seto shrugged off the praise.

"There's no percentage in sweet-talking me. Save it for Kaiba."

Seto hadn't really wanted to be my lover. But, no matter how gently, I had turned him down. I was under no illusions. He resented my rejection; it still rankled.

"Why do you think that only Kaiba is familiar to me?" I asked. "I remember the first time I met you. You were 16. Yugi had just assembled his puzzle. I had just been reborn into this world. I had no memories. I wasn't sure if I was myself, or some errant thought from Yugi's mind… or his heavenly protector. But you knew. You took one look at me… drew one card… and knew me."

"I suppose that made us fast friends," he sneered.

I smiled. "Not exactly. Do you remember those monsters from Isis' museum? Did you wonder why Kaiba knew just what to do? I shoved him into a Duel Monsters card and deposited him in the Shadow Realm, to face those monsters, unprotected. In case you were wondering… you deserved it."

His eyes lit up. "I can't wait," he said with Kaiba's manic grin. "It sounds like the kind of extreme challenge I've been looking for all my life."

"Some things never change. That's what you'll say to me when we duel for the first time." I reached out to cup one grimy cheek in my hand; felt something catch in my heart when I saw his blue eyes looking up into mine. "I've known you for a long time. Never doubt that you're worth waiting for." I left the imprint of my lips on his forehead.

He smiled, hesitantly. A smile I had only seen on Kaiba's face when asleep – or in his soul room, when he said that he would like to know what it was like to be loved.

"He's at Kaiba Tower," Seto told me, as if paying a debt, "I figured, he needed to look out Gozaburo's window more than I did, tonight."

Although the sun had set, the lights were off in Kaiba's office when I arrived. Kaiba was leaning against Gozaburo's window, staring unseeing at the city below. His hair sparkled in the evening light, and I realized he was coated with the same fine dust as Seto. I stood for a moment in the doorway, looking at him.

Kaiba didn't react to my presence. Did he want to talk? Considering I usually had to pretend to be asleep to find out what was on his mind, I doubted it. But I wanted him to know that I would listen, even if only silence answered my question.

"What is it, Koryuu?" I asked, my voice carrying in the empty room.

"Those weapons…" Kaiba said without turning around. "I enjoyed creating them."

"I know," I answered. "I was there. And I also know that you didn't realize that they would be produced… that they would be used."

"Do you think that matters to the people I killed?"

"The person it should matter to is you. Yes. It was your hatred, your anger… and your ignorance that designed those weapons. But it was Gozaburo's greed, Gozaburo's evil that gave them life. Do you remember what you told me when we fought side by side against Dartz at DOMA? That you had been forced unwillingly, to look into the darkness of your own soul… to see it shatter… to rebuild so that only the light of the future was left. Show me that light now, Kaiba. Come," I said as I approached him. "It's time to go home."

"I am home," he replied, pulling me towards him, trapping me against the window, as he kissed me, as he stripped the clothes from my body. I could feel myself grow solid under his hands, feel myself warmed by his breath, as surely as I could feel the smooth glass against my back. I was glad that, like Kaiba, I loved heights.

"Gods. When you touch me, I become real…" I groaned. "I feel my body, as if it only comes to life when you claim it. I will gladly risk everything tomorrow. Tonight I just want to believe in my own existence. Prove to me that I'm solid…. that I feel."

"Gladly," he replied, lifting me to him. I wrapped my legs around his hips, and settled between him and the window.

Life is contrast, measured by the gap between nothingness and sensation. Now, all I could feel was the cold of the glass, all I could feel was the heat of Kaiba's body… the smooth surface of the window, the even smoother surface of his skin. When Kaiba took me, as I had demanded, I was not only real, I was his world.

Poets talk of love as if it was purely a matter of emotion; as if rapture was brought to life solely by the mingling of souls. And in truth, without emotion, even ecstasy is meaningless. But love is also physical. And without a body to share… to give… the word is but half understood.

Too sated and content to be anything but human, I slid down, until I was touching the solid ground once more, although we were still 50 stories in the air. But Kaiba didn't leave the window. He pressed his naked form against the glass, looking outward. The sweat and plaster dust had combined to make his skin shine silver in the darkened room. He spread his arms and legs so that he was perfectly positioned in the center of that perfect rectangle.

"Once I stood here and wished the window would break. I dreamed of falling through the air; of shattering to the ground below," he said calmly, as if speaking of something so long accepted, it was almost unworthy of remark. "It was the only dream I had left, the only thing that I have ever wanted selfishly, for myself."

I wondered if he was lost once more among the ghosts that lingered in this room until he said, "But that's not enough anymore, Yami. I need to know that my life has changed; that I can have other dreams now. The next time I look out this window, in my mind's eye, I want to see your face over my shoulder, reflected back at me. I want to look into this window's mirrored surface and remember what it was like to see you gasping as you came."

"Take me, Yami," he ordered in a low voice. "Here, now… against this window. Take me so hard I can imagine it shattering beneath my touch. Do it so that I'll finally know that the glass will hold."

The moonlight was shining on his cheekbone as he turned to look at me. It glimmered in the hollow of his back. I exhaled sharply at the sight of him bathed by the night; growled as the echo of his words hummed in my ear.

I came up to Kaiba and hissed, my voice as low and feral as his, "As surely as I belong to you, you are mine, now – and nothing will ever claim you again… neither your past, nor your phantoms. Nothing but me."

Kaiba closed his eyes, and moaned, either from my words or the feel of my teeth on his neck. He braced himself against the window and opened his eyes, staring into my shadowy reflection.

As usual, I wasn't sure what was going through his mind. As usual it seemed to concern his past as much as the present. That was all right. Maybe it took a former spirit to lay Kaiba's ghosts to rest.

KAIBA'S POV

I was glad when Mokuba came into our room early in the morning. I was nervous. Not about our meeting with Akunadin, (I had held my own against Gozaburo. How much worse could this be?) but, for the first time in my life, I was going to try to renegotiate a promise.

"Mokuba," I said, "I've tried as hard as I can to give you your Nisama back. I know Seto wasn't the one you were hoping I'd find," I paused, remembering that Mokuba actually liked Seto. I sighed and began again. "I've tried to give you the Nisama you want… the 10 year-old from the orphanage. But I can't do it. He's dead. I should know – I helped kill him. And even for you, I can't be ten, again."

Mokuba opened his mouth. I held up a hand to stop him. This was hard enough without interruptions.

"But I can grope my way to becoming the man he would have grown into. Will that be enough?"

For once, he was the one who was speechless… if not soundless. He threw himself into my arms, laughing, crying, and nodding all at the same time.

"Is that enough?" he finally yelled. "Are you crazy, Nisama? That's everything!"

I looked over his head at Yami. There was something about facing possible death, that made talking easier, made it more like thinking out loud.

"I'm finally ready to listen to what you told me at Alcatraz. I've carried my three demons: anger, bitterness and hatred into every battle – just as surely as I've carried my dragons. Once, I thought they were what fueled my dragons, what gave them their strength and power. This time, if I can, I'm leaving them behind. My dragons and I are flying solo.

"They will soar even higher, now that they are unchained," Yami promised. "This is what you've been waiting for… like your Sekiho Army – you're fighting for the future."

"I see Mokuba's been busy," I said as I stroked my brother's tangled black hair, so he'd know I wasn't angry. "I haven't thought of them in years."

"But you've never stopped marching in their vanguard," he answered.

It was not the burning heat of my rage, but I found myself warmed by Mokuba's hug, by Yami's smile.

I could have stayed there forever, but I had a breakfast appointment to keep…

YAMI'S POV

In his usual all-or-nothing way, Kaiba had decided he was leaving his demons behind. Also as usual, he had missed the point. His demons were a part of him, they had been grafted onto his soul in circumstances too extreme for them to ever be erased. My challenge had not been for him to eradicate his demons, but to accept them – and to rise above them as his dragons soared above the field.

But Kaiba was not the only one who would be going into battle today, leaving a part of himself behind, so I was not surprised to hear a knock at the door, or to open it and have Yugi cross the threshold of our bedroom for the first time.

"I'll be with you," he said. "You know that."

"Yes," I agreed. "But it won't be the same. I will be carrying only your memory within me; the voice within my head will be naught but an echo. And you are my wisdom."

"Am I?" he asked. "I once called you my strength. But you weren't. Not really. You just helped me recognize the strength that was inside of me. I couldn't have done it without you, but it was my strength all along, not yours. Are you so sure that the wisdom you're looking for isn't inside of you the whole time, waiting for me to complete the introduction?"

I didn't know how to answer. Yugi had been right about so many things. Could he be right about this as well?

Yugi smiled. "I brought you a present. Shut your eyes."

I felt him attach something to my belt. I opened my eyes and looked down. It was a key chain. A tiny duel monster was attached to one end. It was the Silent Swordsman, the centerpiece of Yugi's new deck.

"Think of it as a graduation present. I'll always be your aibou. But you're not my 'other me' and you never were. And it's time you knew that everything you look for in me, is in your heart as well."

I tugged at the charm, needing to know that it was securely attached.

KAIBA'S POV

The old man was in the kitchen before me, as usual. I was pretty sure I got up earlier, but I usually worked in my room, so I had never made it down first… even before the old fox had set Yami on me to slow me down.

We were meeting Akunadin later, so this would probably be the last time we would share an early morning in the kitchen. I nodded hello, silently. I had wanted to see Sugoroku, but I had used up all my words on Yami and Mokuba.

Sugoroku got up and came over to me. 'Please,' I thought, 'don't ruin everything by telling me how much you like me.'

But the old man simply held out a card to me, saying, "Yesterday you entrusted Mokuba to my care. Today, I'm returning a treasure to yours."

He pressed the card into my hands, adding. "This belongs to you."

I looked down. Of course the faint feel of tape should have told me what it was. I stared into its Blue Eyes.

"You mean because of our duel?" I asked. "Any number of people in this house – your grandson first among them, will be only too happy to tell you that it wasn't a fair duel; that I cheated by springing my holographic system on you without warning. I won't deny it."

"No, you never deny anything, do you? But I wasn't referring to our duel. I simply meant – whether you treasure him or rip him up all over again – this Blue Eyes White Dragon is yours. Do with him what you wish."

As he walked away, I stared at my fourth Blue Eyes White Dragon. Sugoroku had done a good job repairing him; the tear barely showed, the tape barely felt beneath my fingers.

I could never use him in a duel, of course. My duel disk would pick up the adhesive; would deem the card a fake; although he was as real as the other three. I had destroyed him, as deliberately as I had razed my own soul. I'd accepted the consequences of my actions, even as I'd mourned my dragon's loss; even as I'd wondered whether three-quarters of a heart would be enough to get through life with. But Seto (of all people) had been right. I finally had all four dragons in my hands. I heard Sugoroku's voice in my head: 'Treasure him or rip him up all over again – the choice is yours.'

I looked into my dragon's matching blue eyes. The old man was right. Flaws and all, this dragon was mine. I took a breath, then put him in place in my locket; a buffer between Mokuba's picture and the card that gave me access to Kaiba Corporation.

MOKUBA'S POV

My brothers had dressed for the occasion, each in their own fashion. Nisama was in a long sleeved shirt and leather pants, both of a dark silver-gray. He had with a high collared, sleeveless coat thrown over it. It was like his Battle City coat, but the color of tarnished gold, lined with black silk. Nisama looked like what he was: a modern day samurai going into battle.

Nisama took one look at Oniichan and said, "I'm glad you bothered to wear something appropriate."

"Jackie Chan is suitable for all occasions," Oniichan replied, just as coolly. He was in an oversized T-Shirt advertising Jackie Chan in 'A Rumble in The Bronx' It was the movie where he fought with all the appliances. Oniichan had taken his shinobigatana and slashed the sleeves and bottom of the shirt. The dragon belt buckle seemed to move through the tatters as though it was alive. It was artfully done as usual. It looked like Oniichan had closed his eyes and hacked away at his shirt – but even as the tatters fluttered whenever he moved, every burn was covered.

I laughed as I took a closer look at his baggy black carpenter's pants. He had stuck the Sennen Rod through the loop on his thigh, as if it was a hammer. The gold ball on top held it in place. The Rod swung in time to his steps as he strode across the floor.

I looked around the now-unrecognizable basement. My brothers had outdone themselves. Even Jounouchi was impressed. Although I knew we were still in Domino, although I knew we were underneath Kaiba Land – I could feel the sand under my feet… feel it sting my arms every time the wind blew. Ahead was the entrance to the pharaoh's tomb.

Nisama looked around and grunted with satisfaction. He turned to Oniichan. "This worked out even better than I thought. We should think about holding theme parties down here. It'd be great publicity for…" He stopped himself, remembering that if today's battle was won, Oniichan wouldn't be here to help, tomorrow.

I spoke up quickly, "Sounds like a great idea, Nisama." He looked at me, swallowed, and nodded.

As Nisama opened the door, we could see the long corridor, carved with hieroglyphs. But it wasn't just a hologram. I didn't need the ghostly mists surrounding us to know that we were in the Shadow Realm once again. The monsters would have told me that. I was willing to bet they weren't holograms either. But Akunadin hadn't recreated Nisama's nightmare this time. In fact, the monsters facing us were surprisingly weak.

"It seems that home field advantage is being shared," Yami warned. "We are in your virtual world, but we are also in the Shadow Realm."

Nisama looked at me. I knew what he was thinking before he spoke. "Akunadin wants me and Seto," he said to me. "If you leave, he'll let you go. And these monsters will probably part and let us through.

"Don't you even think it!" I said furiously, "We're a team, remember? Then act like it! You're not going anywhere without me."

"Since when did you become my Nisama?" he asked.

"When it comes to trying to keep you alive, I've always been your Nisama. You just never noticed before."

He didn't answer. But he didn't argue, either. He looked at Oniichan, who nodded, adding his consent. Nisama turned to face the monsters again. Yami touched his arm.

"Remember to use your deck this time," he smirked.

My brothers laughed, and Yami joined in. It was the happy, excited laughter of three kids about to be taken for a treat. I looked behind me. Jounouchi was annoyed, possibly at being left out of the joke. Yugi smiled and shrugged. For a moment I forgot Anzu, and only remembered how much I liked Yugi, and how much we had in common; as he watched his aibou with a look of amused exasperation on his face.

"You know, they really do deserve each other," he said.

Nisama stopped laughing long enough to say, "It's time to get this show on the road." Whether because he had me to protect, or because he wanted to get the preliminaries over in a hurry, he drew out his Blue Eyes White Dragon.

"Why do you always do that? Why do you always need to show off?" Yami scolded. "We don't need a monster that powerful to vanquish the demons in front of us. And if we need that Blue Eyes White Dragon later, he won't be in your deck. When will you ever learn to wait? To show an iota of caution? Or to use even a little common sense?"

"Probably never," Nisama answered. But Yami was right. It only took one lightning burst for Nisama's dragon to destroy everything in sight.

Thanks to Clarity for editing this chapter…

AUTHOR'S NOTES: It's hard to believe but after this, there are only four more chapters (three more posts, since I'll post the last two chapters together.

FANFICTION'S NEW REVIEW POLICY: The new policy forbids writers from replying to reviews in their next chapter. They have, however provided a link so that writers can reply directly to the people who comment on their stories, if those people have signed in. In accordance with this policy I will reply directly to all signed reviews (NOTE: if you don't want to hear from me, just say so in your review, and I won't reply.) I will post a summary of the things raised in the reviews on my Live Journal – the link is on my biopage – and reply to all unsigned reviews there. Probably like every other writer, I hope that people continue to review, because it really means a lot to me.

Kaiba and weapons: When you look at the time and love Kaiba expends on his duel disk designs, the pride he takes in his buildings, the joy he shows when flying his BEWD plane, and the way he uses building Kaiba Land as a way of finding himself again, it's clear that Kaiba's designs are an expression of his soul.

What does that say about his weapons? I've always seen them as an expression of his anger and hatred… his destructive force unleashed on the world. I think he feels so deeply guilty about their creation because they are as much a part of him as his duel disks. This makes it impossible for him to walk away from them. It's not like in Battle City when Jounouchi was brainwashed and it's clear that his actions were not his – that the evil things he was doing were no part of his character.

The real evil that Gozaburo was guilty of was to twist the darkest part of Kaiba's soul – bring it to life and give if a form. I think that's what makes the knowledge that he created weapons so devastating to Kaiba, and part of why he tries so hard to erase his past.

Fourth Dragon: I guess by now it's no surprise that I find the dragon that Kaiba destroyed more fascinating than the other three. It just seems like such a cool metaphor for what Kaiba has done to his life – literally and relentlessly trying to destroy his own soul, only to take on the equally difficult task of rebuilding it. So in an odd way, I found it satisfying to finally reunite him with his lost dragon.

Self-Advertisement: I recently started another story, titled: 'There's no such flavor as Kaiba Light' (I know, I really have a thing for bad puns as titles!) It is different is from Déjà Vu. It is shorter and more relationship driven. Anyway, the summary is as follows: Takes the flawed premise that the Millennium Items can grant the wishes of the heart, and the even more flawed one that High Priest Seto is (or could be) a spirit of the Millennium Rod, and runs with both ideas. Basically, Kaiba's got company, and Yugi and Yami get dragged into the ensuing mess. AU. Occupies the under populated humor/angst category. Oh yeah, yaoi (major pairings: Kaiba/Seto, Yami/Kaiba) If you are going to check it out, please leave a review for Déjà Vu first.