The portfolio was standing outside the Grubby Corners Mall entrance.

Calvin, Hobbes, Sock 1, Sock 2, Shirt and the shoes were hiding behind the bushes, watching him.

"Okay, team," said Calvin. "Let's take our positions."

Hobbes flung his body out, and then the shoes jumped onto his feet, and the Shirt slipped over his torso.

"Where do we go?" asked Sock 1.

"Well…," Calvin said.

Minutes later, Calvin came forward, and Hobbes followed.

The security guard / portfolio jumped in front.

It looked a little weird.

"Hold it right there, punk!" he said. "You should be hip to the rules right now. You need a shirt, some shoes and socks to enter; your friend does."

Hobbes approached slyly.

"Oh, I do believe that I am within the legal limits," he said.

"Oh, really?" sneered the guard. "Let's see your shirt."

Hobbes pointed at the orange shirt with black spots on it.

"Okay, now let's see your shoes."

Hobbes stepped up on the steps and revealed his feet, which had a pair of blue sneakers on.

"Mmm-hmmm," said the guard. "And socks?"

Hobbes pulled one paw out from behind his back. Sock 1 was on it.

"Good evening, officer," he said.

Hobbes pulled the other paw out from behind. Sock 2 was on that one.

"Nice day to shop, isn't it?" she said.

Calvin and Hobbes grinned smugly.

The officer looked Hobbes over.

"Hmm, well, even though you are not wearing the socks properly, I suppose you check out," he said at last.

"Really? Great!" Calvin cheered. "Come on, Hobbes! We have a report to save!"

"Right!"

"Good day, gentlemen," said the guard. "Just be sure to abide the rules from now on."

"Whatever," they chimed, and they burst through the doors of the Grubby Corners Mall.

After spinning through the revolving door several times, all the clothes flew off of Hobbes, and they emerged into the huge and slightly smelly mall.

"Cool!" cried Calvin. "We made it!"

The shirt, socks and sneakers crawled out from the door.

"Glad we could help," said Sock 1 sarcastically.

"Huh? Oh right, thanks for the help."

"Sure," said Shirt.

"Well, we're going to shop for odor eaters," said Sock 2. "We'll see you guys around."

The clothes all went their separate ways.

"Freeloaders," Calvin muttered.

Hobbes looked around the mall.

"Look, there's a sign over there!" he exclaimed.

Calvin looked at the sign on the wall.

"Dr Grime is signing autographs today," he read. "Hey, I know that guy! He was Captain Napalm's very first enemy from the comic JUSTICE BEFORE CLEANLINESS."

"Yeah, I already know about all that jazz," said Hobbes. "But look at the other sign next to it."

Calvin looked a little more to the right.

"New story about the Byzantine Empire, written by our city's founder, Calvin," he read. "Now on display in the north wing."

Hobbes looked at a map of the mall.

"Okay, according to this thing, we are in the east wing, so we need to just go around the corner over there and then hang a left, and then we'll be able to snatch it," Hobbes said.

"Great! Let's go get it!" said Calvin.

But when they went to the corner where they could get to the north wing, they found a line of strange objects that all had eyes.

"Hold it right there!" shouted a voice.

Calvin and Hobbes looked over…

Aw, jeez.

There was a traffic cone wearing a police cap.

"Oy," Hobbes moaned. "Not another one."

"What now?" Calvin demanded. "We followed the dress code!"

"That's not the violation!" said the cone. "This is the line to the Dr Grime signings. No cuttsies."

"Huh?" asked Calvin. "But we're not here to see Dr Grime. We're here to get…I mean, see the Byzantine Empire paper."

"Yeah, nice try," sneered the cone. "It's not on display yet. So get to the back of the line."

Calvin growled at her. This was so getting old.

Calvin and Hobbes turned and went back.

"What do we do now?" asked Hobbes.

"Let's look at the facts, Hobbes," Calvin said. "We can't get past the security guard because there is a line to see a super villain sign autographs, but on the plus side, the report hasn't been put on display yet, meaning that we can get it back without having to go into a glass-cutting scene."

"Well, while we're here, can I get some nachos?"

Hobbes was pointing at a greasy old restaurant that smelled really good right now.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead," Calvin sighed.

Hobbes ran over to the restaurant, and he pushed against the turnstile.

The little number went from twenty-nine to thirty.

Suddenly, there was an explosion, and streamers shot up, scaring Hobbes half to death.

"IT'S AN AIR RAID!" he screamed, jumping in the air.

His fur stood up, his tail poofed up and his claws shot out.

Suddenly, a spatula wearing a small hat came out from behind the counter.

"Congratulations!" he said. "You are the official thirtieth customer to Leavin' and Squeezin'!"

Hobbes calmed down, but he looked a bit confused.

"Leavin' and Squeezin'?" he asked.

"Yes, and as our official thirtieth customer, you win this!"

The Frycook handed Hobbes a small piece of paper.

There was brief pause.

Hobbes looked back at Calvin, who simply shrugged in response.

"Ummm… What is this?" he finally asked.

"It's a free pass to that can be used anywhere in the mall! You can do anything for free!"

Calvin and Hobbes lit up.

"For real?" Calvin asked. "Don't toy with us. The last time we had to get through a door, it took us several chapters."

"It's for real, kid," he said. "And for free, a complimentary box of extra-cheesy nachos."

"Sweet!" said Hobbes, grabbing the box.

Calvin took the pass.

"Come on! Let's go!"

Hobbes nodded, and they went through the turnstile.

But he bumped the box, and some melted cheese splashed out and splattered all over them.

"Whoops," said Hobbes.

"Don't worry; it's just a little cheese," said Calvin.

Little did he know that a little cheese could cause a great deal of trouble.

They approached the security cone.

"Here! We have a pass!" Calvin shouted.

The cone observed it.

"Very good," she said. "You may pass."

"YES!" Calvin shouted. "It's nearly over!"

Calvin and Hobbes scurried past the guard and towards the front of the line. They planned to go further and hang a left, but an old giant milk carton jumped in front of them.

"Hey!" he shouted. "It's Dr Grime! And he brought his sidekick, Nurse Grime!"

"Huh?" asked Calvin.

Several living objects, all dirty and dented, started surrounding them.

Uh-oh.

"Dr Grime!"

"Sign my stick!"

"Nurse Grime, sign my candy wrapper!"

"I have a napkin for you to sign!"

"I love you guys!"

Calvin and Hobbes backed up against the wall.

"We're not Dr and Nurse Grime!" Calvin shouted.

"I'm insulted! Nurse Grime!" Hobbes added.

But no one was convinced. They surrounded.

Calvin groaned and rolled his eyes…and his eyes picked up something interesting.

It was a mirror. And he saw just how much cheese he and Hobbes had gotten on themselves.

"Look at how dirty we are!" he cried.

Hobbes gasped. "We're almost as dirty as Dr Grime!" he wailed.

"SIGN OUR STUFF!" the kids shouted.

"HELP!" Calvin and Hobbes shouted.

Then Calvin saw an open door.

He grabbed Hobbes and they ducked inside, slamming the door.

Hobbes then shoved a giant chair in front, and the door couldn't be opened.

"Phew!" said Calvin. "That was close."

Then they saw something in the corner…