It's been two years since Mimi died and here we are again. The white floors of the hospital are blinding me as I search for something comforting. I find nothing, nothing but sterile needles and tubes hocked up to Collins. I can't believe it, even though I didn't know him too well we had gotten pretty close these past four years. Collins is the rock of our group, like a father figure. He helps us stay together, works with us through our differences.

I look around at my little family and my heart breaks for them. Maureen is crying quietly and I put a comforting arm around her. Mark and Roger are sitting on the other side of the room their heads hanging, Mark, at least, is crying. Roger seems lost in his own thoughts, thoughts I don't even want to know. He won't tell anyone if they ask anyway, Roger always acts like he's unbreakable but we all saw him at Mimi's funeral, he can feel pain just like the rest of us. Maureen tells me he has always been the quiet thinking type, I'm pretty sure I can guess what he's thinking now, "I'm next." Awful thing for so many people to die so young from something that could probably be stopped, if our government would just get off their ass and look for a cure. I'm smirking now, that's something Collins would have said, anarchist that he was. I look back at his pale face now and remember the past week.

Sunday afternoon and everything seemed normal at the loft. Roger played his guitar, Mark was taping him and Collins was laughing at Roger's dilemma. Maureen and I had brought food and we were having a little party, just a reason for us all to get together. The party went well and it wasn't until we were getting ready to leave that we noticed anything was wrong.

Roger was sitting on the couch his arm around Collins' shoulder looking concerned. This was so out of character for both of them. Roger was showing emotion and I could see weakness on Collins' face. I pointed it out to Maureen and she whispered it to Mark who shrugged and said, "Collins hasn't been feeling well lately. Gets tired easily, we don't think its anything to worry about though." Well Mark was partially right. It wasn't anything to worry about until Collins decided to go on a walk that night and collapsed. No one could find him until the morning and he was half dead by then. Roger and Mark had carried him up the stairs looking frightened while I called an ambulance.

So here we were, a time when we needed a leader the most and our leader was gone, forever. Collins had fought for almost a weak and only minutes ago, with his friends all in the room, did his heart stop beating. Maybe it was for the best, obviously the disease was taking over and this sudden death saved him from a very painful one. I mentally yelled at myself for thinking this and then thinking Roger should hope for the same. No one should hope to die so young, none of my friends had every gotten a chance to live, all taken from us before they reached thirty, what was wrong with the world.

I looked up as Mark cleared his throat. His face was tear stained but his voice was strong. "Maybe somebody should say something?"

I looked around at my friends. Maureen had only started to cry harder and Roger hadn't moved at all. Mark rolled his eyes and moved towards Collins' bed. He picked up his hand and said, "You were the best of us Collins. You had your priorities straight. You could have had so much more but you stuck with your beliefs. You knew love and passion was worth more then money. You put your family above everything in life. I'm sure you're happier now, that you're with Angel, Mimi and maybe even April. You're probably all laughing at us for acting like such idiots. I'll miss you." Mark stepped back and looked around at the rest of us. Maureen took a step forward before sitting back down, more tears pouring down her face. I stood up and didn't even know what to say. What do you say to a dead man? Mark did it so well, maybe he's been thinking about this moment a lot. They should teach you about this part of life in school.

I looked down at Collins and smiled, suddenly I knew exactly what to say. "Hey, Collins do you remember that New Years Eve when Angel was still with us? You both dressed up and spent the whole night together, laughing. That night I understood life for the first time. Since I was a little girl my parents taught me life was about accomplishments, it's about what you can brag about when you die. I always thought that meant money and awards. The richer you were the better life you lived or something like that. You and Angel showed me the truth. I couldn't even believe what I saw. Here were two people broke as hell and dying of a terrible disease but that didn't seem to bother either of you. You were living each day to its fullest, savoring every moment you had with each other. It inspired me and opened my eyes to everything I had been missing. I don't know if I can ever thank you enough, I'm not one of those typical lawyers that take any case that pays well. I take the cases that have meaning, something to fight for that is worthwhile. Maureen and I have stuck together through thick and thin and it's all thanks to you. You showed us how stupid we were being, what we had if we would just look for it. You may be gone Collins but I bet you have a lot more to show for then most men walking towards those pearly white gates."

When I stopped talking I was crying, looking up I saw Mark and Maureen staring at me, even Roger was giving me a questioning look. The room fell into awkward silence until Roger said, "Well… I don't think I can follow that up, so I don't know why I should even try."

Everyone laughed and I felt a lot of the tension that had been filling the room disappear. Maureen was grinning a little and said, "You and Mark are both right. I don't think Collins would have wanted us to sit around and cry like a bunch of babies."

Roger stood up and stretched walking towards the bed and sitting down on it. He looked at Collins sadly and said, "Joanne is right. I can only dream of living a life as full as yours. You had no regrets and you left behind a legacy none of us will soon forget. Sure you're not some world-known philosopher but that's not what you really wanted anyway.

And to me you were like my father. A great listener, but an even better problem solver. I guess I shouldn't have expected you to always be here to help me with my problems. Marks pretty hopeless at it," he added with a smirk and everyone laughed. "Whenever something comes up I promise to stop and think about what you would have done and I'll be seeing you soon. Tell everyone I say hello."

Again the room was swallowed but quiet, like we were waiting for an answer that would never come. I reflected on the stupidity of that idea, Collins would never speak to us again, not in this world anyway. No one was there to hold us together anymore, or to help us talk things out, we were on our own and for the first time I doubted if we could last as a group of friends. Collins did so much for us; there was a lot of slack to be picked up without him. But as I thought it through more I knew we would last. We all had parts of Collins in us. Maureen was our creative mind, I was the sensible one, Mark was a good listener and Roger knew when to shake things up a little bit. If we all worked together we could make it through, we could help each other in our own ways. I swore I would do whatever I could to make Collins proud of us.

This was different from when Mimi died. When it was Mimi we all banded together to help Roger through it and ignored our own pain. Roger was our main concern; he had been destroyed by her death. I didn't even notice how much I missed her sassy attitude for months. We all wanted to make sure Roger didn't fall back into a depression. This time we were all banding together to share the pain. We were helping each other through it; we let everyone know they had a shoulder to cry on an open ear to talk to. Collins would have been proud.

A.N: I am so extremely sorry for the delay but I do have a plausible excuse. This chapter has been written for a very long time and then my dad moved and we didn't have internet until about ten minutes ago. I posted it as soon as I could hope you enjoy it. Next chapter will be posted much quicker. Please Review because I think that's one of the reasons this story is still going, thank a lot.