Chapter 17

They were both quiet when they reached Spike's house. They walked into the kitchen and Spike sat down, while Buffy went over to the freezer. He was really worried about the fact that she has yet to say anything to him. She got out the icepack and walked over to him. "For your hand." She said as she handed him the icepack. His hand wasn't hurting that much, but he took it from her anyway. She sat down next to him and avoided his gaze. He couldn't take it anymore as he put the icepack down.

"Buffy, please look at me. I'm sorry about what happened. I never meant to scare you." He told her and Buffy looked back at him.

"You were only sticking up for me. It did get a little scary; I've never seen you like that before." Spike sighed and knew that he had to make it better.

"I'm not usually like that. I was just upset at what that bloke said about you. You do know I would never hurt you, right?" Buffy shrugged and looked away from him again, but he wouldn't let her this time. He gently grabbed her chin and turned her eyes back on his. "I would never lay a finger on you, Buffy. You have to believe that." Buffy felt tears in her eyes. She decided that now was the time to tell him what she has never told anyone before. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke.

"Do you know what happened with my dad?" She asked him and he wondered where that came from all of a sudden, but he only nodded.

"Yeah, my dad told me that he was having an affair with his secretary and that he moved away to be with her." Buffy shook her head and took another breath to calm herself.

"That's not what happened, that's only what my mom told people. It hurt less than the truth." Spike could tell that this was hard for her and gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

"What happened?" He wondered and she was finally ready to tell him.

"It was before you and Giles moved here. My dad was an alcoholic, drinking was his answer to everything basically. He got frustrated a lot and would always take it out on my mom. They were constantly fighting and sometimes he...he would hit her. Dawn and I would always go to Harmony's room when they were yelling downstairs. We always wanted to be together. We were closer to Harmony then and she would always tell us that everything would be okay, but it was hard to believe that. My mom ended up with a lot of bruises on her and she would always tell us that she fell down, but we knew the truth. She finally woke us up one night when dad was out and told us to pack a bag. We were going to leave that night, but he came home earlier and got really mad at mom. He told her that he would never let us go and then he punched her hard in the face, right in front of us. That was the first time we witnessed it. Harmony and I went to mom's side to see if she was okay. Dawn went over to our father instead. She kicked him in the leg and he got so mad that he slapped her across the face. That was the first time he ever laid a hand on any of us. Mom freaked when she saw that. She was okay with him hitting her, but she never wanted us to get hurt. So, she yelled at him and told him to leave. He looked like he was upset after he hit Dawn and actually listened to her for once. He walked out of the house and mom called the police." She stopped to look at the reaction on Spike's face. He was angry as he took it all in.

"The bastard did that? Where the hell is he now?" Buffy flinched at the tone of his voice and he felt like an idiot for scaring her again. "I'm sorry, baby. What else happened?" He asked in a calmer voice and she took another breath before she continued.

"He was really drunk when he left and we figured he wouldn't get too far. The police showed up a little while later to tell us about a car accident a few minutes from our house. They identified his car and it looked like he lost control and crashed into a tree. He wasn't even wearing his seatbelt and he went through the windshield. He was killed instantly." She finished and Spike was shocked at everything she told him. He never knew that she lived with that for all these years. It made him want to protect her even more. He wrapped his arms around her and she buried her head in his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I'm just glad you decided to tell me." She pulled away after a few seconds to look at him.

"I never told anyone that before. We don't like to talk about it." Spike felt touched knowing that he was the only person she told, but she wasn't finished yet. "I told myself that I would never be in that situation. I saw everything my mom had to go through and I swore that I would never go through that. I would never be with anyone that would hurt me." Spike now understood and felt like an even bigger idiot.

"I love you, Buffy. I would never hurt you. I have never hurt a woman in my whole life and I never will. I should have walked away when you wanted to, but I couldn't let some bloke talk about you like that. I promise it won't happen again. You never have to be afraid of me." He told her and she looked into his eyes to see how sincere he was. She nodded and felt more tears in her eyes.

"I know I don't. I would trust you with my life." She replied and Spike smiled as he gave her a chaste kiss on the lips. He then pulled away and rested his forehead against hers.

"I will always be here for you." He whispered and she closed her eyes. It felt like a huge weight has finally been lifted off of her shoulders. She knew that Spike was a good man and that he never said anything he didn't mean. He would always be there for her. No matter what.