Chapter 43: Withdrawal

Kaori walked through the bushes to the original camp to find Sesshomaru sleeping against a tree. At least he could sleep. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw that wicked expression on Naraku's face. She had stayed up all night, just thinking while staring at the sky. She got lonely just before the sun rose. She was repacking her items in her backpack as the sun rose, as well as Sesshomaru. His eyes blinked open and he saw Kaori. She didn't seem angry at the moment and took his chance to greet her.

"Good morning," Sesshomaru said. A smiple grunt was his answer. Perhaps he was wrong.

Kaori was already dressed and ready to go when Sesshomaru stood up.

"Will we be going today? We were a little side-tracked yesterday," Sesshomaru stated in a monotone. He really didn't know how to express his emotions. Kaori nodded and he saw her reluctantly give him her backpack. Their hands didn't touch, and he knew she probably didn't want to be touched.

"So, remind me where we are going today?" Kaori asked in a almost silent voice while riding Ah-Un. They were travelling on foot and Kaori had told Sesshomaru she preferred to ride than walk. He agreed and she mounted the dragon herself.

Sesshomaru remembered he was going to take her to a wonderful place to give them some time alone. But seeing that Kaori really wasn't in a good mood, he stopped in his tracks. Ah-Un followed.

"Where would you like to go?" Sesshomaru asked, looking back at her. He saw her drop her head, avoiding eye contact.

"Oh, just somewhere quiet, if you don't mind. Not too many people either," Kaori said to the ground and Sesshomaru nodded and continued walking forward. The place he had in mind was quiet and unpopulated. Perhaps she would like it.

When they arrived, he looked back at Kaori as he stopped. Her eyes lit up and then turned the sad expression they had been all day."Wonderful," Kaori simply said in a monotone. "It's exactly what I wanted."

It was an area that was full of grass and flowers. A small stream was along the side and a few rocks here and there to sit on. There was a reserved place for a fire and even a cave nearby if they needed shelter.

Kaori gave Sesshomaru a weak smile and then looked at the ground. She slid off Ah-Un and walked in front of Sesshomaru. She would have run onto the grass, pulling Sesshomaru with her and danced playfully, if she wasn't in the depressing mood she was in. She walked calmly into the middle and just looked around. Average was the first word that came to mind. Ah-Un grunted both its head and stood next to Sesshomaru. Its expression told Sesshomaru it knew something was wrong with Kaori as well.

"Well, it's nice," Kaori said in a monotone. It was silent after that. Sesshomaru and Kaori had no idea what to say, like shy teenagers.

"Glad you like it," Sesshomaru said simply. He felt as he used to when he was around Kaori. Nervous that if he said something stupid or wrong, she would hate him.

"Uh, could you go hunting for something? I am slightly hungry," Kaori said after a slight pause of silence.

"May Ah-Un stay here for your protection?" Sesshomaru asked, and then thought she might snap at him for thinking she needed protection and couldn't protect herself, but she nodded silently and just walked away from Sesshomaru, exploring farther of the area. Sesshomaru nodded and left to hunt for something.

It was slightly difficult, since little animals wandered here, but he found a rabbit and some berries and made his way to the camp just before nightfall. He found Kaori laying on the grass, propping herself up on her elbows. He quickly placed the meal inside the cave and cautiously made his way to Kaori. He stood for a moment in silence, but then spoke up.

"May I join you?" Sesshomaru asked. Kaori was startled, but, to Sesshomaru's surprise, she nodded and then looked back up to the sky.

Sesshomaru stared at Kaori while she stared at the sky. It was silent between them and Kaori finally noticed Sesshomaru was staring at her and flushed, looking down at the dirt. Sesshomaru caught the blush and smirked slightly, and had the urge to take her hand, but sat with his hands in his lap.

"I told Ah-Un to explore around here. It seemed hungry, so it's probably is grazing somewhere nearby," Kaori said, breaking the silence. "I hope that is ok with you."

Sesshomaru nodded and lowered his gaze to the dirt as well. He had nothing to say to her. He wanted to pressure her into telling him why she was acting odd, but that was what made them fight in the first place.

Kaori looked back at the stars and actually smiled, which Sesshomaru caught.

"They are beautiful, aren't they?" Kaori asked.

"Yes, you are," Sesshomaru said and felt his cheeks go hot. "I meant them."

Kaori chuckled and Sesshomaru was overjoyed to hear that sound again.

"Sorry I've been acting distant. I just wanted sometime to think," Kaori said, lowering her gaze to the ground. It had been the slight truth.

"I wish you would have explained that to me," Sesshomaru said, and taking a chance, placed his hand on hers. Kaori's mind went into thinking mode, whether to pull away or accept it. Realizing she had just been pushing Sesshomaru away, she took his hand into hers, though she really hated it. The feeling she felt of his claws brought back too much of that day. She had to keep herself holding his hand, though she felt like standing, yelling at him and just walking off again. She usually dealt with her confusion and rejection by yelling and getting angry. She hated that it was Sesshomaru she was getting mad at, but she just hoped he would understand somehow, someway, whether the truth or some lie, that she had changed slightly. She really didn't want to hold his hand, and she was relieved when Sesshomaru released her hand.

"Hey, I better get cooking. You said you were hungry, right?" Sesshomaru asked with a smile. She was content that she had made him happy.

"Yeah. Call me when it's ready, ok?" Kaori asked with a slight smile. Sesshomaru nodded and made his way to the cave. But he had seen the way Kaori looked just before she held his hand. And her relief on her face when he released it. As he cut the meat, he glanced outside to see Kaori wiping her hand on her pants. What was up with Kaori? She never wiped her hand, like he had germs or something. Something seriously had changed Kaori. Something had happened when he left. He had to get her to tell him, or their marriage would be ruined forever.

Kaori stood outside and made her way to the cave when Sesshomaru was ready. It was silent and Ah-Un still hadn't returned. Both were worried about it, but neither wanted to talk. Sesshomaru just picked at some meat, but he really didn't feel like eating. Kaori barely ate anything herself.

Sesshomaru glanced up and Kaori to see her staring off in the distance, her eyes glazed over like she was in a daze.

"Kaori, what are you thinking about?" Sesshoamru asked, snapping Kaori out of her daze. She blinked and looked at Sesshomaru, before avoiding eye contact and looked at the ground.

"Oh, just school and my friends. That's all," Kaori lied. Sesshmaru could tell it was an instant lie. This was going to be harder than he expected.

"Do you miss them?" Sesshomaru asked. If he got her talking, perhaps she would slip something.

"Yeah, a little. You know that outfit. The mistress one? Jenkin gave it to me. All my friends gave me great gifts," Kaori said, instantly changing the subject to Jenji and their wedding.

"Have those pictures come in? It's been over a year since they were taken," Sesshomaru said.

"Yeah, we got them back. I've been sort of busy, so I couldn't put them into their frames," Kaori said in a monotone. She had been so lively, she all of a sudden went back into a shell. Sesshomaru had to keep her talking.

"Have you seen Rin recently? I mean, she was acting odd that day when the village burnt down," Sesshomaru said.

Kaori's mouth opened to reply, but then something hit her. The smile Rin had on her face was the same one Naraku had. Her eyes went wide and then she blinked a few times and shook her head no. Sesshomaru nearly hit something. She had crawled completely back into the shell. But it was the mention of Rin that he saw a reaction. Perhaps she had seen Rin. Perhaps she had attacked her and Kaori was too afraid to tell him because she assumed he might act idioticly. He smiled and Kaori looked up at him.

"What is it?" Kaori asked in a whisper.

"Just thinking about my memories of my friends," Sesshomaru simply said. He didn't call it a lie, technecally. After the mention of Kaori's friends, his friends had popped into mind.

"Oh," Kaori replied simply. She stared at the ground until a cold breeze brushed by her and she shivered. The memories wouldn't leave her.

"Kaori, Sesshomaru," a female voice said. Kaori looked up to see Kagura at the mouth of the cave. Sesshomaru instantly jumped to his feet, standing in front of Kaori and his hand on Tokijin. "I'm not here to fight. I've come to get Kaori. Naraku asks for her assistance."

Kaori crawled backwards and saw a smirk at the edge of Kagura's mouth.

"No, she will not," Sesshomaru answered.

"Really? Well, just to let you know, your life depends on it, Sesshomaru. If your finally answer is no, then, if I was you, I would watch where I went from then on," Kagura said, the smirk forming completely. The sound of wood hitting wood was heard and Sesshomaru saw Kaori standing, her bow and arrow ready to strike Kagura. Kagura's smirk turned to a smile. "This is not what I expected."

"I won't be returning to that bastard. Since he watched us, he should know that he should burn in hell for what he did. He's a devil, not just a half-demon," Kaori yelled, echoing down the entire cave. The air was broken by the sound of an arrow whipping by and it peirce Kagura's heart. Her smiled faded for a second because of the pain, but the smiled returned.

"Everything went according to plan," Kagura said, her body disappearing to nothing.

Kaori collapsed, tears streaming down her face. Sesshomaru kneeled in front of Kaori, and before he had a chance to respond, Kaori pushed her head into his shoulder.

"I'm such a fool," Kaori mumbled. Sesshomaru rubbed her back, confused like hell.

"How, Kaori? You are never a fool," Sesshomaru said.

"I should have kill her and him when I had the chances. But I was such a fool," Kaori cried. Sesshomaru rubbed her back.

"Just talk to me," Sesshomaru said, hoping that these words broke down her walls of containment. It did.

"Sesshomaru, I'd loved to. Just please, let me finish," Kaori said, pulling away from Sesshomaru. Her hands held Sesshomaru's shirt in her fists. "Please don't react until I'm done, please. I need to tell you it entirely, ok? Just, just, keep it bottled up until I'm done."

Tears streamed down her face and Sesshomaru leaned, forward with complete concern. He smiled reassuring and nodded lightly. Kaori couldn't start. The tears were overpowering her. She pushed her head back into his shoulder and Sesshomaru was now sure that she was so upset that he wasn't going to find out. He sighed, but rubbed her back.

"Sesshomaru, may I please not tell you. I'm too upset. Sesshomaru, I just want to be comforted. Please," Kaori cried. Sesshomaru sighed, closing his eyes and nodded. She broke into sobs and Sesshomaru just there to tell her he loved her and to rub her back. The tears were soaking through both of his shirts and a small river of tears ran down his arm. Kaori fell asleep on his arm crying. He heard the cries subside and he laid her carefully on the furs. He kissed her forehead and lips lightly and then left her to sleep. He just hoped she was as willing to share the next day.