Chapter 48: Uh Oh. More Problems

It was a few more days until Kaori and Sesshomaru finally returned home. Joo-yun was overjoyed to see them and wouldn't let go of Sesshomaru's hair, which just infuriated him and entertained Kaori. She would never forget his yelling and screaming while she was washing the dishes. And then when she went to the living room, she found Joo-yun fast asleep in her crib, a small fistful of long, silver hair and her father rubbing his head.

Kagome and Inuyasha visited sometimes, Kagome for Joo-yun and Inuyasha to criticize Sesshomaru on breaking their plans to destroy Naraku. Even Kaori's mother came when she could to see how Kaori was, along with Joo-yun. Sesshomaru never let anyone hold her, but he once caught Kaori letting her mother hold Joo-yun. He nearly burst right there, but they had guests and their daughter was fast asleep. He kept it hidden and just continued loading the laundry.

It wasn't until nighttimes when his anger resurfaced. He woke up to continuous crying and Kaori out of her bed. He went to the child's crib and settled Joo-yun down and then went looking for Kaori. He found her on the couch, and to his shock, a bottle of whiskey in her hand. He removed it, slightly puzzled and sorry for Kaori, and covered her up with a blanket. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, he went back upstairs to sleep again. His anger disappeared again this time, but he didn't hide it. It was exchanged for his worries for Kaori. Why was she drinking, especially this late and with their daughter in the house at such young age? He was going to talk to her, first thing in the morning before anything else.

He woke up again to crying, but this time it wasn't as loud or desperate than earlier. He was exiting Joo-yun's room and saw Kaori sitting up. He sat next to her, noticing her blood-shot eyes and her dazed expression.

"Why did you get drunk last night?" Sesshomaru asked. She was startled and looked at him.

"I, I don't know," Kaori said, her words slightly slurred.

"Go upstairs and get some sleep. You need to get over this," Sesshomaru said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She moved away from it slightly dizzy.

"No. I won't be some guy's bitch. I have to do things your way when you want it, I have to take care of Joo-yun all the time and you are never around!" Kaori snapped. "Perhaps that's why I got drunk!"

"I help out. Plus, I don't want this conversation now. Just let me help you upstairs and get you into bed," Sesshomaru said, going for her hand. But she snatched it away and dizzily stood up. She swayed slightly. Sesshomaru stood as well.

"I don't need any one's help. I'll go to bed when I want to, not when you want me to. And if I want to talk, I will. I won't be caged up like some kind of animal. Do you think I'm an animal?" Kaori snapped, swaying.

"No, Kaori," Sesshomaru said sincerely.

"So what? I don't excite you in bed? You're bored in bed? Is that why when you come home, all you do is give me a kiss on the forehead and then leave the room? Am I so boring you can't even kiss my lips or say that you love me? I haven't heard you say you loved me in the last five weeks!" Kaori spat. Of course, it was over-exaggerating. He had recently told her he loved her when they were watching TV, perhaps only two days ago. And as for in bed, she always brought him to his knees. She always made him pant in the end.

"Kaori, let us go up to the room. I'll show you how much I love you," Sesshomaru said, reaching out for her. But she shook her head no.

"You don't get it! I've had to care for Joo-yun every single day since she was born! I've changed every diaper. I've calmed her down every night. I've fed and burped her every meal. You haven't done a single thing for this child, have you? Do you even care about her? Or are you just too busy, too preoccupied with your world to even notice your family?" Kaori asked with anger.

Sesshomaru sighed and returned his hand to his side. There was no pleasing Kaori. If he asked her to take her upstairs, she would decline. But if he left her alone, she'd most likely yell at him for abandoning her.

"Kaori-" Sesshomaru started but Kaori interrupted.

"And plus, neither of us have jobs, so we won't be able to care for her, or provide her with the necessaries. And she and me will be on the streets, begging people for spare change," Kaori said sadly. She fell back to the couch, her head hanging. "And you'll probably be in the past, killing demons, looking for Naraku and Rin and caring for Ah-Un and Jaken. And Joo-yun and I will just be a thing of the past. Just one of your families. One of the families you hate. One of the families you abandoned. And you'll tell the world of how you broke the heart of the most powerful woman in the world just by impregnating her and then leaving. Is that all I am to you? Just some powerful princess? And is Joo-yun just another demon child?"

Sesshomaru sighed. "You and Joo-yun are the world to me. I would die if anything happened to either one of you. And as for financial, you forget I'm a lord. I can buy our necessaries from the past with my unlimited money supply and bring it for you and Joo-yun. And if you mention the home, your mother has it paid off already."

Kaori looked up to him just before her eyes closed and she fell backwards. Sesshomaru caught her and laid her down on the couch, covering her up once again. They were probably going to have this talk again, just more screaming and yelling, when Kaori woke up. He kissed her forehead and then her lips lightly. He brushed some hairs away from her eyes and forehead before leaving her to sleep soundly. He needed some sleep as well and went back upstairs for another nap.

His eyes fluttered open and looked around. It was bright, so it was the afternoon. But something bugged at his nerves. Something he couldn't explain. It just bugged him like a flea that wouldn't die. He sat up and looked around. Everything seemed normal. Everything seemed original. But that feeling didn't leave him until he got down stairs. Only then did he smell Kaori's blood. And, to his fear, a lot of it. He checked quickly in Joo-yun's room; she was sleeping soundly in her crib, her blanket in her hands. Then he rushed to find Kaori.

He found the water running in the sink and Kaori standing in front of it, her hand underneath the water. He walked next to her and saw the blood. Well, the blood water. A huge gash, perhaps bigger than the one he had once seen, on her left hand. She was running it under the water, but the wound still bled. She looked at Sesshomaru who was next to her with worry, like he was the one injured, before looking back at her hand.

"It won't stop bleeding," Kaori said in a small voice.

He took her wrist into his hand and searched at it. Small pieces of glass were in it, but that wouldn't make it continuously bleed. He quickly took the pieces out and ran it back under water, making Kaori hiss out of pain and wince a few times. It still bled.

"Alcohol," Sesshomaru finally said, nearly throwing her hand away. "You just had to get drunk last night."

He stomped away and Kaori was way beyond worried; she was starting to get panicky. But her small depression was rising as well and she fell to her knees, closing her eyes. She shook her head before she heard Sesshomaru run in.

"Kaori?" Sesshomaru asked. She opened her eyes. "What is going on?"

"I don't know," Kaori said in a small voice and let Sesshomaru bandage her hand.

"You're getting drunk, you are cutting yourself with glass and-" Sesshomaru started, but Kaori interrupted.

"Cutting myself? You think I'm like that?" Kaori asked a little panicky. He looked up at her and then back at the hand.

"You're acting odd. Worse than usual, which is scaring me," Sesshomaru said.

"Worse than usual? What does-" Kaori started to yell, but Sesshomaru interrupted her this time.

"You're missing the big picture! You're scaring me, Kaori. And that's really hard to do," Sesshomaru snapped. Kaori looked at him with fear. He calmed down a little. "Look, just tell me what is making you act so odd. Is it Naraku? Or have I've been excluding you, or what?"

"It's not you," Kaori said in her small voice. She saw Sesshomaru finish with her hand and inspected the bandage; anything but look at Sesshomaru.

"That's not what you said earlier this morning," Sesshomaru said putting the leftover bandage in the first aid kit.

"I was still hung over, that's all," Kaori said quietly.

"Why did you take that bottle of whiskey?" Sesshomaru asked.

"I got thirsty, I guess," Kaori said quietly.

"There's better things to drink than alcohol. Pop, water, juice. But yet, you chose to go to the cabinet and get the bottle of whiskey," Sesshomaru said. He then was quiet before adding, "If it isn't me, then Naraku?"

"No, it's no one... But me..." Kaori said almost silent. She turned her head away.

"But you? What is going Kaori? You really are scaring me," Sesshomaru said, trying to look at her face. But she just turned farther away until her back was to him.

"Sesshomaru, just drop it. If drinking alcohol is so against your rules, I'll stop, ok? It was just something I needed after a while," Kaori said, standing up, her back still to Sesshomaru. "I just want to be alone, so just don't bother me, ok?"

"Do you want to go to the hospital to get that checked out?" Sesshomaru asked, standing up with the first aid kit in his hand.

She shook her head no. "I'll be just fine. It'll heal almost immediately."

Sesshomaru didn't want to let her go off, but since he didn't have anything else to say, he turned his head to look at the floor as Kaori turned and left the kitchen. He heard her run up the steps and the door upstairs close and lock. He sighed, returning the first aid to its rightful place and then sat down on the couch, his claw digging into his scalp. How was he supposed to help her if she just wanted to be alone? He sighed, lowing his hands to his neck. He wasn't supposed to, that's it. She didn't want his help. Or couldn't use his help. Or didn't need his help.

He sighed and looked up to the door closed, protecting Kaori inside. How he wished he was there, helping her calm down and relax. How he wished he could be there, having her explain all her problems to him and him solving them. How he wished for those days back, where she would just open up to him. But he finally realized they hadn't spoken a word for almost three days. Every time he came home, she would be either asleep on the couch or in bed and all he would do was give her a kiss and leave. Just like she had said earlier that morning. The only words would be arguments, which, to his sudden surprise, had been increasing in the last few days. Were they drifting away? Was their love disappearing like so many he had heard of?

He hung his head in his hand, wishing his discoveries were just coincidences. But with him, there weren't any. Everything happened for a reason to him. Kaori, for example, was almost chosen for him. For all he knew, their daughter was planned. His half-brother was almost definitely. And with all their problems, there had to be a reason. What the hell was happening here!

Kaori had enough for one lifetime. All she wanted to do was die, right now. She just wanted this nightmare to leave. She hit her hand against the mirror, shattering it and cutting her hand again. She didn't scream out, for she knew Sesshomaru would run up before she knew it, but sank to the floor in tears. Why was her life so horrible? Why was her life so chosen? Why did she have no damn control of it?

She knew exactly why she had taken that bottle; she get some relaxation. She just be able to pass out and relax for once. It was like she had been so tense after the incident with Naraku. And her sleepless nights didn't help. She would always wake up almost immediately after Joo-yun started crying. What worsened the situation was that Sesshomaru was never around, or awake for that matter, when she was doing everything. Sesshomaru probably not be there if Joo-yun said her first word! She sobbed into her hands, cursing herself and Sesshomaru in her mind. How she wished this was all over. Just done. All the arguments they had been having, all the worthless battles in Sesshomaru's time, all the enemies, all the lies. She just wished everything would stop!

She looked up from her hands and looked around. It was an empty room. Nothing but a dresser and bed. Well, that was all she needed for the night. She was going to stay the night in this room, not talking to a single soul. Yes, perhaps she would go crazy or withdrawn, but at least it would give her some time alone and to think. She just needed some peace and quiet.

But before she could think another thought, her sleepless nights caught up with her and her fatigue with crying, and blacked out right there, in the middle of the floor. Her cheek was soaked with tears and her hand bled again, out of the bandage as well. She just laid there, no one to help, to hold her, to keep her in check. She was alone, and for once in her life, she liked it.