Author's Note: Dawn in this story is almost fourteen years old and Xander nearly seventeen. Enough said.
"Well, Dawn," Xander said with a deep sigh, "I hate to tell you this, but it's Xander-Hog Day, and unless your break-out breaks us out of the loop, you've just joined Mr. Depression on his Road to Nowhere…"
"Xan, have you been alternating your Megadeath and Patsy Cline albums again?" Dawn asked, giving him an unreadable look before cracking a smile.
"Ow," Xander grimaced, scored upon, "Nice one, Dawn-Patrol. But no, the fact is I've been reliving the same day for the last few months, and unless you're the sign that that's going to change, you're now stuck here with me." He opened the car door for her.
"So now what?" the girl asked, getting into the car.
"Now, we go shoot a bad man and make sure your sister and Willow remain safe," Xander informed her. Dawn nodded, then jerked up as Xander put the car in gear.
"What?!" Dawn reacted, "Shoot somebody…okay, I guess."
"He's causing people to die, Dawn," Xander replied, "And if this is the last time through for me, I can't let that happen again."
"You promise he's bad, right?" Dawn glared.
"Yup, Kids dying bad," Xander grimly relied.
"Okay, then," Dawn agreed, "Floor this thing."
"This is Giles' car, Dawn," Xander sighed.
"Would leaning forward help?"
"Probably..."
"Should I push?"
"You'd probably break it."
"Why are you driving Giles' car?"
"I stole it?"
…..
…..
"Couldn't you have stolen a real car?"
"I thought I had all the time in the world…"
"And you couldn't find anything better to do with your time?"
…..
"Xander!" Dawn complained, "That jogger just passed us!"
"That was a guy turned into his Flash costume…"
"What about the old lady walking?"
""We're at a red light…"
"What if someone sees me in this car?"
"Scrunch down…"
"I am scrunched down…"
"Lucky for you we're here," Xander concluded as he pulled up near, but not in front of the costume store. "Now, Dawn, I don't want you to see what I'm going to do. Please stay here. If this loops again…we'll talk about it, okay?" The girl nodded; she realized he wasn't kidding and right now wouldn't be swayed.
"Be careful, Xan," Dawn responded quietly as the young man in a bowling shirt headed toward the store.
Xander walked into the store quietly, not seeing Ethan Rayne in the front area. Xander walked into the back room, careful not to be taken unawares. He lunged for the Janus statue and pushed it to the ground, shattering it. Ethan heard the crash, and warily made his way into the room, surprised that it was the boy who'd bought a 'weatherman' costume.
"If you were unhappy with your purchase, you could simply have returned it," the costume shop owner sourly stated, "Or exchanged it for another."
"True," Xander allowed, making his way to the cashbox, "but you forgot to check and feel for other chaos magic afoot. So I'm here to 'return the favor of spell cancellation' and to 'take pay out of the hide of the person responsible.' Since I'm in a good mood, and your spell would have been fun, my rate is only five hundred. If you wish to somehow try again in, say, an hour's time, feel free." Ethan stood somewhat bewildered that the boy seemed to know and not mind, but was here on a 'tit for tat' job.
"Could you at least tell me the name of my, er, competitor?" Ethan asked tiredly. Xander held up five fingers, and Ethan nodded and handed over the money.
"Rupert Giles," Xander straight-face lied to Rayne, "I think he'd figured a way to twist the hellmouth energies to briefly separate demonic energy from human flesh."
"I thought you helped the slayer?" Ethan asked, almost at a loss for words.
"Yeah, she dusts some vamps and I loot lairs and pocket the proceeds," Xander smiled leaving a grand richer without killing someone.
The little car pulled up to Library after a stop at the store for several bags of quality ingredients and better utensils and cookware, and a call to Joyce letting her know that Dawn was alright, and was with him, and that if she got back no later than ten o'clock, her dinner would be waiting. They'd called Giles and let him know Xander had taken care of a chaos mage and to keep the girls there if they showed up.
Dawn noted the change in Xander's demeanor as he approached the Library doors, and decided something had to be done about the bowling shirt.
"Pleas take off the bowling shirt before you go in there," Dawn directed her good friend, "I don't think they could take you seriously if you go in that way." Xander stopped and stared at it, smirked and continued in through the doors.
"Don't say I didn't warn you about the shirt Xander," Dawn winced as Buffy, Willow, Giles and Angel all stared at the shirt.
"This shirt, Dawn," Xander laughed, "Of course it looks weird, it's like in nature, camouflage." He turned to the group, quietly unsnapping the only four fasteners still encumbering the integrity of the shirt. "Camouflage, like when somebody like me in a shirt like this walks into a bar full of demons. The bartender asks, 'what'll you have.' I reply," Xander says using one hand to reach the back of his collar and rip the shirt off in a single motion while drawing a 45 cal he'd gotten from Willow's Uncle Hiram when he purchased the shirt, turned back to the door, "bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang" as his weapon actually discharged into the heads, throats and hearts of six of Spike's eight minions that attempted to force their way into the room. Spike experienced a moment of shock and fled with his remaining two minions back out the door.
In five seconds, Buffy and Angel had managed to make it up and around the table as the others remained stationery in amazement as Xander Harris in a wife-beater shirt, twin holstered firearms, a few stakes and a couple of squirt guns prevented Angel and Buffy from dusting the four undusted vampires, holding up a hand and continuing his narrative.
"…and then I walk over and strip the wallets, the leather jackets if not too damaged," he gestured at the two newbie vampiresses and to Dawn and Willow, Dawn nodding, "see if a mere minion has anything else of value…" draws out a stake, "and only then finish the job." He does, then restores the shirt onto his person, "Then I put the camouflage back on, and visit you guys." Xander then guided the Summers girls over to the table, held their chairs out as they dazedly sat down.
"Those were vampires!" Dawn exclaimed, then crowed, "I knew it was something like that! That was so cool! Xander teach me, ple-e-e-e-ase."
"It'll take a while and is a lot of work," Xander replied seriously, "But I'll consider it. Now, Giles, what was talked about on the phone? I was distracted…" He smiled slightly and rifled through the belongings.
"Um, something about a chaos mage?" Giles replied, hoping for answers.
"It was our old friend Ethan Rayne, Ripper," Xander mischievously answered, then covered the details of his visit including charging Ethan, as Giles gathered himself together. "And now, dinner, at Chez Summers, I will be cooking French and Szechuan styles, and the groceries are in Giles' car. Let's go and as I cook and we dine, I'll even answer questions and be witty in an adult rather than teenage manner."
"H-how did you get in my car, it's locked," Giles asked. Xander threw him the keys.
"And it now has a full tank of gas," Xander responded, retrieving Phil from the weapons cage and handing him to Willow, "Dinner now, answers later, or I'll tell everybody about Ethan's friend Ripper and this time with two birds living just off Finsbury—"
"Stop, let's go," Giles interrupted, "And I hope the story is worth it, as I'm afraid to inquire as to your cooking skills, especially those two cuisines."
"Xander, when did you learn to cook?" Willow asked, happily befriending Phil, "I'd've remembered you learning to cook."
"The exact same way as I learned to destroy more vampires in less time than Buffy ever has with implements carefully hidden under the garish façade of a bowling shirt?" Xander jokingly told the truth as he left the building.
The Summers kitchen found itself turned upside down and the kitchen table briefly turned into extra prep space as all but Xander lined chairs up on the far wall and watched as in about an hour Xander managed to create a Szechuan beef and vegetable dish with a spicy yet mild-hot quality, then a filet of duck breast, cooked in red wine, Angel's a little darker, and a tea-steamed rice with steamed baby vegetables dividing the plates, all served with a dark oolong tea. Joyce entered the house to find more people than expected, but before she could comment, Xander hurried out in a mock-French maitre de manner and shooing all others away, fawned over mademoiselle, took her coat and purse and threw them to 'her ungrateful sisters' (Buffy and Dawn), escorted her in to the table, introduced everyone superciliously, held her chair (slapping Giles hand to overdo it), and explained the menu and beverage selection, begrudgingly allowed the others to seat themselves, and brought out the food really quick with help from Dawn, serving on the good china.
"Now, Joyce," Xander said remaining standing as the others sat, "I'd like to thank you and assure you that cleanup will occur, most of it going with me when I leave tonight. This meal is a thank you to you for showing patience with Buffy with her late-night study sessions, and even if her grades have yet to improve, her commitment is there. She has had us, including Mr. Giles and Mr. Angel her tutors in the social studies mainly. She might not master all the material, but now at least she seems to get to the point quickly. You've had the wait and weight of responsibility on you, and hopefully you now know that you are not unappreciated, and not alone. Everyone: 'The Mom.'"
"The Mom."
"You do realize, Xander," Dawn whispered into his ear during cleanup, "that if we do repeat, you'll have to give that speech again…I don't think anyone's done anything or said anything that nice for mom in a long time."
"Hey kiddo," Xander confessed, "There's no way a Xander Harris any where is likely to complain about making your mom happy. Be glad you and Buff won the 'mom lottery.' Oh, and in case I forget, first thing after the reset, call me at the Library and I'll know you made it. Then we'll see if your mom'll let you join my trick-or-treat group and we'll take it from there."
"Cool, you never did answer many questions except about the cooking and the food."
"I know, I figure it can wait. It's not a real priority for me until we break free."
They finished cleaning up dinner and Xander headed off to sleep in the cot at the Library. He was happy enough that nothing particularly bad happened tonight.