A/N: Sadly still do not own anyone except my original characters.
If Only Envy Were Less Powerful
"Van! I'm going out the door already!" Neil called from downstairs the next day while I was still up in my room after class.
"I'll be down in a minute Neil! Hold your horses, darn it…" I yelled back as I combed out my still wet hair. The two of us were planning to go to the tryout at Henley Hall.
As I got out of my room, I saw Todd still bent over his English assignment. "You sure you don't want to come, Todd?" I asked.
He looked up briefly from his work and shrugged. "Need to finish this" he said almost unintelligibly.
"Cover for us, ok?" I laughed as I threw on a jacket and hurried down the stairs and outside to the bike racks, where Neil was waiting with a bored look on his face.
"This won't be long, I hope." he said excitedly. Sure, he was all smiles, but I could see that his hands were sweaty.
"Chill. It's just a tryout." I said as I watched him get on his bike.
"Yeah, one I've wanted to go to for a long time now." Neil retorted nervously as we began pedaling off to Henley Hall.
When we arrived, the auditorium was full of people milling about with copies of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". A tall lady, one who I guessed to be a teacher or directress, was busy talking to some kids. Neil left me to decide what role I'd try for, so I simply went about, trying to guess who was trying out for what role. About two girls were trying for Titania, three for Helena, and three for Hermia.
"I'm trying out for Puck" Neil grinned after a while when we met up again.
"I guess I'll try for Hermia" I said, swallowing hard. Despite my bragging and swagger earlier, I was getting nervous, and I thought I'd pass out when I told the teacher what I was trying out for.
As I sat with a copy of some sample lines in my hand, I began wondering what would happen if I did get in, not that I expected to. I knew Neil stood a good chance of getting the part (though imagining him as Puck was difficult).
"All those trying out for the part of Hermia, please come forward" the teacher called. I could feel my legs wobble as I stood up. Neil smiled at me encouragingly as I strode to the stage.
I was assigned to read out a part of one of Hermia's conversations with Lysander. A girl named Ginny Danburry (I found out later she was Chet's sister), got to read first. When she was done, I had the feeling that I didn't stand a chance.
I never got past the line "But gentle friend, for love and courtesy…" The rest of that short bit of verse just got stuck in my throat.
When I was sure that I wasn't going to get the part, I simply sat down to watch Neil's try out. I tried to swallow my tears as I watched him, because like everyone else in the room, I was pretty sure that he was going to get the part. I knew because one of the guys who auditioned just ate his words, and the other didn't sound half as convincing.
"We'll know the results the day after tomorrow, Van" Neil said to me as we pedaled back.
"You don't need to know. I know you got in. No one else could've, Neil. I don't know why your father stopped you" I said.
"You weren't bad either." Neil said. I knew he was just trying to make me feel better.
"Ginny Danburry is going to get it for sure" I said.
"Nothing's impossible!" Neil commented. I sometimes wanted to wipe that optimism off his face.
When we got back to the dorm, Neil went straight up to finish homework, and I decided to work on my poetry. I saw Knox sitting out, looking forlorn on the steps.
"Hey Knoxious…what's going on?" I asked.
He looked up at me and smiled briefly. "I went to Ridgeway for some inspiration today" he sighed.
"That's good. You saw Chris?" I asked.
"Sure did. And she just…jumped into that jerk's arms. It 's not like she can ever think of me" he said.
"Ah, just give it some time. You'll see" I said, trying to cheer him up.
Suddenly, the other boys came down the steps. "Hey you two! Meeting!" Charlie called.
"What!" I asked.
"You forgot too?" Neil kidded as Knox and I jogged after him. I frowned when I saw yet another bunch of centerfolds in Charlie's hands.
"Charlie…do you really have to carry those?" I asked nervously.
"Yeah, what if Nolan finds them, huh?" Cameron piped up.
"Cameron, shut up. And don't worry doll, I won't let them fall" Charlie said. Disgusted, I turned back to the dorm.
"Hey, come on! Van!" Charlie called after me.
"I just want to be alone, ok?" I retorted. I felt someone tug on my coat, and turned around to see Neil.
"Van, he's just being…" he said.
"It's not about that, Neil" I said as I jammed my hands in my pockets. I desperately wanted to swallow my envy before I said something to him that I'd regret.
"Besides, what can't poetry fix?" Pitts piped up from somewhere. I snorted and managed to smile.
"I'm just going for the poetry…not for you guys" I said finally, following them.
The next day, instead of staying in the classroom for English, we found ourselves walking with Mr. Keating out to the playing field. We were all to line up in single file, read a line of poetry, then see how far we could kick a soccer ball.
What I got was a line of Whitman's 'Song of Myself': "Endless unfolding of words of ages! And mine a word of the modern, the word of En-Masse!"
Somehow, I felt a sense of relief when I watched my ball sail nearly as far as Charlie's did.
The next afternoon, while I put the finishing touches to my poetry, I heard someone yelling excitedly in the hall and banging doors.
"I'm going to play Puck!" I heard Neil shout. I opened my door to catch sight of him racing down the hallway, ecstatic.
"Good for you!" Knox had simply commented. Meeks and Pitts, who were still working on something, looked confused.
"Congratulations, good for you Neil" Charlie had said when Neil had told him. Shaking my head, I went out to greet Neil.
"Van! I got it!" he'd said, almost breathless with happiness. I was still aching, but why ruin his moment, I thought.
"You deserved it Neil!" I laughed, hugging him quickly before following him into his room. Todd was also there, working.
Neil sat down at his typewriter and put a paper in. "Neil, how are you going to do this?" Todd said in disbelief as he plopped on a bed and I got a chair.
"They need a letter of permission from my father and Mr. Nolan" Neil replied.
"You're not going to write it" Todd said.
"Oh yes I am" Neil laughed. My jaw dropped and I gave Todd a disbelieving stare.
"Oh Neil, Neil, you're crazy!" Todd pointed out.
"Totally nutty I say" I added.
"Yeah!" Neil chuckled as he began typing. Todd and I simply watched, horrified, wondering how the hell was he going to get away with this. I couldn't say we didn't warn him.