Legal Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. There would be much much more sex in it if I did.

Fan Disclaimer: Slight AU (Explained in a second) and DRIPPING with original characters. Pairings I like: Naru/Hina, Shika/Ino. Sasuke is a bastard, and Sakura is useless and whiny. You have been warned.

Author's Notes:

Slight adjustments to the universe: Itachi didn't kill the ENTIRE Uchiha clan, just most of it. I think that the odds that the whole clan was in the compound at the SAME night is pretty silly, so Itachi just murdered his parents and everyone else nearby cept Sasuke.

This fic starts out about 6 months after the 3 years starts. So Naruto leaves with Jiraiya and 6 months later, this stuff starts. Don't worry, I don't really think Naruto is capable of being away from Ichiraku for 3 years straight. He'll pop in. :D

Thanks to Alphacat, who owns Yowamushi, and is my awesome Assistant Author and Beta Reader. And proofreader. He's the one that gets to put up with my screams of rage when he discovers that every single line of speech in the chapter is missing the comma before it.

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After a few minutes of walking, the pair arrived at a fairly large, but mostly normal looking house. Well, normal if you ignored the fact that the fence had several kunai and shuriken embedded in it, the occasional dried blood patch, and various large scorch marks. "God dammit." Yamato said, "I leave for like two weeks, and someone tries to sneak into my house."

Yowa's ears perked up. "People try to sneak into your house?"

Yamato nodded, looking annoyed. "Yes. No idea how it started, but now the fact that no one has managed to get in is attracting morons from all over the city. It's stupid, really. One of these days some stupid genin is going to try it and get himself killed. I am pretty damn good with traps and seals. The only building in Konoha better trapped than my house is the ANBU headquarters."

Yowa tilted his head. "Oh. So... why are we just standing here, 30 feet away?"

"Because the seals aren't attuned to you, so you need to stay back here for a minute. And make sure the cat stays there too."

Yowa, looking puzzled, asked, "Your seals trigger on anything going nearby? What about everyone just walking by?"

Yamato shook his head. "Not normally, no. But I have to configure the door seal to let you in, and when you attempt to change the seal, it shoots fire at everything nearby."

Yowa thought for a moment. "In case... someone tries to tamper with it?"

Yamato nodded again. "Exactly. Now then, I need a drop of blood. For the seals." Yowa nodded, and held out his hand. He winced a bit as Yamato pricked his finger with a kunai, and smeared the blood on his thumb. "The cat too." Yamato's eyes widened in surprise as Genki raised one of her paws while he said that. "Well, ok then." He gently poked the cat's paw with the knife, and put the blood on his other thumb.

"Ok. Now then, you stay here." Yamato preformed a quick series of hand seals, saying, "Hiroke Koutetsu no jutsu." A shimmer of reddish orange energy flickered across him for a moment.

He walked to the front of the house and stood directly in front of the door. Yamato took a deep breath, made the proper hand seal, and shouted "Kai!". The front of the building seemed to strip away like a coat of paint as the illusion was dispelled, revealing a house covered in intricate seals. After the last of the seals were revealed, Yamato was suddenly lit on fire. Yowa gasped in shock at the sight of his new teacher up in flames. But... it didn't seem to be hurting him. He was just... on fire. "Don't worry," Yamato called back to Yowa, "that jutsu I used a second ago protects me from fire."

He then dragged his thumbs across an empty circle in the seals right above the doorknob, making an X with the different bloods. Then he pricked his index finger and drew a + with his own blood across the X. The circle pulsed for a moment, and the eight-pointed star disappeared. As it did, the fire around Yamato flickered and went out. "Ok then. That'll give you an hour. Come on in, and hurry up. The fire ward will turn back on in about 45 seconds."

Yowa ran over to the door, Genki following. "Umm... an hour isn't a very long time..."

Yamato chuckled, "Of course not. But it will give me enough time to recode the master seal to let you stay." He opened the door as he said this, and walked in. The door opened into a fairly normal living room, with a couch that looked fairly old, but not very used. There were a couple of hallways leading off, and an open doorway into a kitchen. There were also two doors, on opposite sides of the room. The only things that marked the living room as odd were the various weapons, mostly katanas, hanging from the wall. A couple of them even had rings of seals around them.

Yowa looked intrigued by the various weapons. Yamato followed his gaze. "Ah. First rule of the house. Anything with a seal around it? Don't touch it. Don't even go near it."

Yowa turned to look down at Yamato as he sat down on the couch. "Why, more protection seals?"

Yamato, doing something with the rug in the middle of the floor, responded, "Well, yes. But protection for you. I have a lot of really dangerous cursed stuff in here. For one thing, that closet there?" He pointed to a small door near the doorway to the kitchen. "Don't open it. Ever."

Yowa thought for a moment. "That's why you keep the place locked up. So people don't get into the dangerous stuff in here."

Yamato nodded, smiling. "That's one of the reasons, yea." Nice deduction. "I also like my privacy, and there are a lot of old and dangerous seals in here. Not to mention my library contains stuff that makes the Scroll of Forbidden Seals look like genin moves. Speaking of, that's the second rule. Any scrolls with a red case are totally off limits."

Yowa nodded. He glanced towards the closet, curiosity obvious in his eyes. "...What's in there?"

Yamato looked up, and saw where his eyes were pointed. "A sword. Forged with a shard of a weapon so dangerous that wars were fought over it. Wars that the gods got involved in. This one only has a tiny fragment of the original, but it's still enough to drive someone insane if they're not prepared."

Yowa made a soft 'oh' sound, "If it's so dangerous, why do you keep it around?"

Yamato paused in his work, and his eyes appeared suddenly distant. "...Because eventually, one of a couple people is going to come after me, and I'm going to need it." And hopefully still be in control of my mind after. He shook his head for a second, then finished what he was doing. Yowa could see that Yamato had been disarming several traps under the rug before he moved it. "Grr. Stupid things are a bitch to disarm. Have to disarm them before I can move the rug, but I can hardly get to them with the rug there. Anyway, get over here really quick. Cat too."

Yowa hopped off the couch and took the two steps to stand next to Yamato. "What do I have to do?" Genki followed as well, and sat right next to Yowa's ankles.

Yamato had his eyes closed, breathing deeply. "Just stand there for a sec. You're right in the circle." Seeing no circle, just wooden floor, Yowa was confused, but stood where he was. Yamato threw his hands up into another seal, shouting "Kai!". Yowa watched in amazement as all the surfaces in the room peeled away to even more seals, just like the front of the house. Yamato stood up, panting slightly. "Hoo... Now that was tiring... definitely going to bed after we're done here. Now then, stand right there." Yamato then performed a long series of seals, but very strange ones.

Yowa noticed that hardly any of these seals were in the standard set of twelve. "What are those seals you're doing?"

Yamato responded after a moment, "Beats me. They go with these seals on the house. This is really old stuff, mostly forgotten. We'll call em family secrets, yea. Anyway. I don't know much about them, but I do know how to work them. I couldn't tell you what these hand seals are, or how to heavily adjust the seal on the house here, but I know how to use them."

Yowa opened his mouth to ask another question, but stopped short when he saw how uncomfortable Yamato was about this topic. Yamato then stopped his seals, and smirked. "This is the funny part. Unlike most stuff with seals, this doesn't take any blood." He then poked Yowa in the forehead suddenly, and Genki's head with his other hand. The seals pulsed white for a moment. The young boy felt a sudden... he wasn't quite sure. It was almost a wave of dizziness, but it vanished instantly. Genki seemed to feel the same thing, letting out a confused "Mrrowwrrr...?"

"Tada," Yamato pronounced. "You are now attuned to the house. First person ever, except for me. And the first cat, period. Congrats."

Yowa's eyes opened wide when he heard that he was the first person to receive this 'honor'. "Wow... Thanks!"

Yamato chuckled, "Don't mention it. Now then, the hard part. I have to feed chakra back into the seals to turn the illusion back on. It will also re-cover the outdoor ones. Speaking of, I really hope that no one has walked by in the last minute or so." Yamato touched a small cluster of seals with two fingers, which then began to glow with chakra. After a few seconds, he stood up and wiped the sweat off his forehead as the seals faded from view. "Phew. This is why I don't let people over. I have to take off both the really strong illusions, then turn them back on. It's a pain, I'm exhausted afterwards."

Yowa was still looking as the seals vanished, fascinated. "What sort of stuff do those do? And how do they know not to blow you up? And how are you allowed to have those ones outside? Aren't they dangerous?"

Yamato raised his eyebrow at the barrage of questions, smiling. "Slow down, sheesh. Well, the reason they know not to get us, is that technique I used on you. Most seals would be attuned to specific people, this seal makes you attune to it. I'm not sure what it does exactly, no one has been able to detect the 'mark' it makes, but it's certainly working. It's also really hard for people to fool it, since it works backwards from conventional logic."

Yowa nodded, still fascinated, and happily absorbing the information. Yamato blinked, and looked around. "...The cat is gone." He paused for a moment. "Um... it is house trained, right?"

Yowa laughed. "Yes, she is."

Yamato shrugged, obviously not caring where the cat went then. "Anyway. The seals are legal, Konoha has wonderfully loose laws for defense of property." Well. Except that one. I think that violates a couple 'Cruel and unusual punishment' laws. And that one. I don't think you're allowed to summon things. Especially not that big. Yamato yawned, long and loud. "Ok. Time to get to bed. Umm, I guess you can crash on the couch for now, we'll get you a bed at some point. Wonder where I'll put it. Hmm. Anyway, good night. Come get me if you need anything." Yowa nodded, and Yamato walked into one of the hallways and returned with a blanket. "Good thing it's the middle of summer, I don't have enough blankets for two people in winter. Night."

Yowa nodded, and laying down on the couch, pulled the blanket over himself. Yamato walked back into the hallway, wondering. Hmm. He seems to be adjusting really well, all things considered. The kid is basically starting a new life, and it's been pretty sudden. I suppose he was freaking out a bit on the way back, but I should still keep an eye on him. And the rest of the team. Sheesh, this is gonna be tough. Oh well, teaching might be a new thing for me, but Yowa has to adapt to a whole lot of stuff. Heh. Good night, kid.