Chapter 2

by Gunman

Disclaimer: I own nothing from NGE. Blast you Gainex!

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Hikari Horaki was looking over the room of Class 2-A as was her job as the class rep. Sometimes she wondered if she would lose her job to a certain blue-haired girl, who always managed to arrive before she did. Though she chalked it up to the girl not having a social life. Not that she had much to be concerned about as Rei had no real social skills to speak of.

Come to think of it, she never talked to anyone. Even her fellow Eva pilots, unless they were the ones who initiated conversation first.

She noticed everyone had arrived. Primary on her checklist were Toji and Kensuke, her best friend Asuka Langley Sohryu, and... she paused as she noticed that Shinji Ikari wasn't there.

Concerned that something had happened, given his lifestyle, Hikari headed over to the red haired German girl who lived with him, and asked, "Asuka, do you know where Shinji is?"

The firebrand looked up at her friend, a little annoyed that she would bring him up. "Don't know, don't really care. He was probably being lazy and didn't want to come to school."

That answer didn't set well with Hikari, so she went over to talk to Shinji's 'best friends', Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida. She found the title annoying, since they didn't really seem all that concerned for Shinji. She knew Kensuke would grill him for more details about the Eva's, and Toji would love to spend more time with Misato rather than the boy pilot.

Still she asked them.

"Sorry, I was visiting my sister most of the weekend." Toji said.

"I was at a war museum in Old Tokyo." Kensuke replied.

Helpful little sprouts, she mused sarcastically and turned to the only other person she could ask about Shinji's whereabouts and condition.

Rei Ayanami.

The blue-haired girl was not someone anyone talked to, and seemed rather oblivious to the world at large, but like Asuka did have some interaction with the boy.

Ah, what do I have to lose. She mused as she approached the girl. I mean it's not like she's scary or anything. Right? Right? She wondered if she was trying to convince herself of that.

"Um... Ayanami?" Hikari asked quietly, pulling the girls attention away from the window.

"Yes, Miss Horaki?" she replied questioningly.

"Uh, you wouldn't happen to know where Shinji is do you?"

Rei gave her head a slight shake. "I am sorry. I have not had intercourse with Ikari recently."

The world was set on Pause as everyone within earshot froze in their seats, their steps, and just held their thinking processes as if they had just watched a six-car pile-up happen in front of their school.

Hikari could almost feel the silence reverberate through the halls.

Which was effectively broken by,

"WHAT!"

"Shinji you dog!"

"Man! Living with a hot babe like Misato and doing Rei as well!"

"Lucky bastard!"

"Think he's doing Asuka too?"

"Hey, if he could nail Rei..."

"Fifty bucks says yes!"

"I'll take that bet!"

"Rei you tramp!"

Hikari's ears were burning at listening to all this, but her eyes were unblinking as she turned to the one person in class she knew would be upset.

Asuka Langley Sohryu had never given the First Child a first glance, but now was staring at her with a look Hikari could only discern as shock, horror, anger (obviously), and what she thought looked like sadness and...jealously?

"You little slut!" Asuka growled, moving faster than Hikari could see as she practically leaped across the room and threw her fist forward to slap the girl.

Rei, however, was firmly aware of the redhead's presence and managed to protect herself with one well-timed block. She turned to stare at the fuming redhead. "I am not a slut. I merely stated that I have not had intercourse with Ikari since Friday."

"You-you..." The German girl started mumbling, tears forming in her eyes.

She knew that Shinji had been over to Rei's apartment Friday afternoon, and that Misato had teased him about it. But there was nothing to indicate that anything had happened, despite his protests. Misato always teased him regardless.

Hikari had to restrain Asuka from attacking the girl, who eventually relented and ran out of school, kicking up dust as she went.

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NERV, the large, dark, empty office of Gendo Ikari...

Many men having faced all manner of death threats, numerous variations of screamed profanities, the anger of their only son, and even a couple failed assassination attempts, the Supreme Commander of NERV was not so easily startled.

Prepared daily to genocide every man, woman and child on the planet, working for and scheming against the secret SEELE society, he still managed to look imposing sitting at a desk all day.

Which meant that him now scrambling into his chair from off the floor was a sight to behold.

Sub-Commander Kouzou Fuyutsuki, second in command of NERV, who could pass for a solid stone statue in both posture and color, failed to suppress a snicker, yet had succeeded in not joining Ikari on the floor.

"I'm sure I did not hear you correctly, agent. Would you repeat that?" the Commander drawled disbelievingly.

"Approximately seventeen minutes ago, surveillance team Six recorded a conversation between the First and Second Child, in which First Child Rei Ayanami stated that she had not had... intercourse... with the pilot of Unit 01 for the last few days. Sir." The agent replied, clenching his jaw to neither grin nor laugh.

"And we're just hearing about this now?" the Sub-Commander asked.

"The agents were reexamining the recording to make sure they had heard the conversation correctly." the agent explained.

At hearing the confirmation of this most startling piece of news, Commander Ikari was conflicted.

The first set of emotions had to do with his son. While part of him was relieved that the boy was inclined to the fairer sex (what with living with the teasing alcoholic Katsuragi and the hair-trigger psychopath Sohryu), which also included pride and a bit of jealously that Shinji had gotten laid at such a young age (nearly ten years sooner than himself), he was also furious that he was sleeping with a clone that had his own mothers DNA as well as interfering with his scenario.

He didn't know whether to congratulate his son... or strangle him.

And then there was Rei.

For her he felt shame that she would have given herself so freely, and to Shinji of all people (though he chalked that up to the boy being his son), confusion that she had any concept of sexual feelings, (which he also chalked up to the fact she may have caught him and Dr Akagi more than once), and then of course there was the fury, because she was also screwing up the scenario.

In the end, the Commander just stared at the screen blankly, with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Agent."

"Yes, sir?"

"Vodka Stinger with a Whiskey back. Double. Now!"

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At virtually the same time...

"WHAT!" a certain purple haired woman shouted.

"That's right, Misato." a certain faux-blond woman said, rubbing her ears slightly. "And you know I couldn't make this up."

"I almost wish you had." Misato said, now furiously pacing the floor.

"'Wish You Had'?" Ritsuko looked at her friend confused. "What does that mean?"

Misato stopped and let out a small giggle. "It's not what you think, Ritz."

"It's Better Not Be, MAJOR!" the blond roared.

Off to the side, one Ryoji Kaji was laughing his head off.

"Personally, I had my money on Asuka, but congrats are in order!" he grinned widely. "Glad to see someone's getting some."

Misato turned on her heels, marched towards the man and kneed him in the crotch. "I don't know if I should be happy that he took my advice, or mad as hell that he did..." she murmured, rubbing her forehead as Kaji groaned on the floor, currently curled up in a fetal position.

Nearby, Shigeru Aoba grinned as Makoto Hyuga sadly handed the long-haired tech the ten thousand yen he had bet.

"Come on, all of it. I got a large quantity of chocolate that's just calling my name." Aoba said.

"Chocolate. Of all the things to buy." Makoto muttered bitterly as he reluctantly handed over the bills. He was more upset because Maya had won the same bet from him. Only she would be getting him to pull a triple shift while she took the day off.

And she had it in writing, too.

However, in the Eva cages, a different exchange was taking place.

YES! Way To Go Shinji! That's My Boy! I Knew You Were A Man! Yui/Unit 01 practically screamed.

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. I always thought that Asuka would... Kyoko/Unit 02 huffed in disbelief.

What did you expect? Naoko/Unit 00 said. Girl probably came on too strong for him. He's probably scared of her.

It was fortunate that none of the tech screws that were down in the cages at that time could hear them or they would have willingly checked themselves into the insane asylum, for life.

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Shinji groggily got out of bed, feeling only slightly less terrible than yesterday. Can't believe I caught a cold from that rainstorm coming home from Rei's place. He thought as he walked to the bathroom. Not that I can blame Rei for that. And it was nice to spend some time with her.

He stepped into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Bit by bit his strength was returning and his cold lessening. He figured he'd be right as rain, knock on wood, by lunch time.

After the shower he got dressed, grabbed something to eat and started flipping channels.

Suddenly, he sneezed. More than a couple times.

"Whoa. What was that about?" he asked, turning to Pen-Pen as if he had the answer. "You don't think that people are talking about me, do you?"

"Wark." was the reply.

"Yeah, you're right. Why would they?"

"Wark, wark."

"No, you can't have the remote." Shinji replied as he kept said device out of the penguins reach. "You had it all last night and I'm not watching soaps again."

"Wark, wark!"

"Tough. I don't care if Tachibana's mother also turns out to be his aunt."

Suddenly, he felt it. The Feeling.

But this wasn't an ordinary feeling. This one was special. It's the one he got only when a certain very, very angry redhead was coming for him.

He wasn't sure when he had developed this particular talent, but he knew that he'd need it.

His eyes scanned for a way out.

Door? No, that's where she would be coming from.

Window? Suicide.

Balcony? The same.

Hide in room, curl up into a fetal position and cry like a little girl? Useless and over used.

An idea formed in his head as he stared at the unlucky penguin.

Pen-Pen immediately felt that something was wrong. "WARK!"

"Oh, come on, it's not like she'll hurt you. I'm the one she's after."

"WARK!"

"Fine, and you can forget about the salmon." Shinji replied as the penguin scurried away.

To Pen-Pen, salmon was no good if you weren't alive to eat it.

Shinji braced himself as the explosion of the front door told him that which he knew was true.

Asuka was home.

Shinji chanced a look, to gauge just how bad it was going to be, and froze as he saw what looked like a combination of anger, shock, disbelief and... betrayal?

It was done in a second as Shinji was knocked down from the couch by a fierce slap.

"You... BAKA HENTAI!" she screamed and then went off on a rather nasty tangent of German and Japanese curses, most of which he was grateful he couldn't understand because he was sure they all promised him a slow, torturous death by means even a devout sadist couldn't think up.

"What did I do?" he shouted back, obviously confused as he held his cheek. The red was going to exist for at least a week.

Asuka said nothing as she threw him a furious glance before stomping off to her room.

Shinji resumed his seat on the couch, wondering what the heck Asuka was mad at him for this time. Unfortunately he never got to voice that sentence as the irate Major Katsuragi entered the apartment, shooting him a deadly look that he had only seen once before.

It was when Kaji had asked if Misato was still so 'wild in bed'.

Shinji rose up to talk to her, but before he could ask what he did, or what he was suspected of doing, a second voice chimed in.

"Way to go Shinji!" Kaji shouted proudly as he slapped the boy on the back, "You know I didn't get lucky until High School. You beat me by four years."

"Oh, you would encourage him!" Misato growled, turning her attention away from Shinji.

Seeing the chance to get clear of this impending disaster, Shinji bolted away from the pair of adults and raced out the door. Miraculously he was able to grab his shoes on the way out in one snatch.

"WHAT? DAMN IT, SHINJI GET BACK HERE!"

"RUN SHINJI! RUN!"

Shinji didn't need to know which piece of advice to follow, not that his legs, which had been toned by weeks of running track at school, would have stopped running until they were sure he was safe.

He was running so hard that he failed to see a certain blue-haired girl until he slammed into her like a truck hitting the wall.

"Ouch..." Shinji muttered as he suddenly realized who he had run into.

"Oooooh..." Rei muttered as she rubbed her own head.

Shinji was quick to get to his feet and helped the blue haired girl to hers.

"Are you alright, Rei?" Shinji asked.

"I will be, Shinji-kun." Rei replied. "Are you well?"

"Yeah... I guess.."

She cocked her head to the side, as if pondering. "Did something happen?"

"Well it's just that everyone's been acting really weird today. First Asuka, then Misato and Kaji, and I thought for some reason that people were talking about me." he rambled. "But that's crazy, isn't it."

"Perhaps." she said and was silent for a second. "At least representative Horaki was acting as her normal self."

Shinji looked at her with confusion. "Hikari? What did she do?"

"She asked several people as to the reason's behind your absence in class. She approached me and asked me the same question. When I told her I had not had intercourse-"

"Rei, I told you, don't call it that." Shinji said, blushing furiously as he cut her off. "It's Interactions, alright?"

Rei nodded. "I told them we had not spoken as of late." She corrected.

"Ah... wait... did you say 'intercourse' in class?" he asked, a silent groan in his voice. Please, please, please...

"I did." Rei paused as she looked at him questioningly. "Was that not appropriate?"

"People might misunderstand you, Rei." Shinji replied quietly, a light blush on his cheeks.

"How so?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

"They might think we're...having..." he fished for the right words, blushing again.

"Physical sexual intimacy." Rei bluntly stated.

Shinji's face slammed hard to the ground. He slowly picked himself up after a few minutes.

"Yes, Ayanami, that's exactly what they might think." he finally said.

"People are strange." she commented.

"Yeah. They are." he nodded.

"Then perhaps we should." she said, taking his hand and leading him away.

"Huh? What? Ayanami! What are you saying?" Shinji gasped, trying to stop the blue-haired girl as she continued to drag him away.

"I am saying that we should have intercourse." she said simply, as if it were the plainest thing in the world.

If Shinji was confused before, he was totally stupefied now.

"WHAT? WHY?"

"If everyone assumes we are doing so, then we should do so in order that we do not prove them wrong." she stated.

"But what will that accomplish?" he asked, still confused.

"If they were to discover that we have deceived them, they would logically become hostile towards us." she explained as simply as possible.

Shinji had to think about that for a minute. Asuka was already mad as hell at him. Misato was also upset. Kaji was congratulating him, but given the man's reputation as a playboy that was different. He could only imagine how the others would react if they found out that Shinji hadn't been doing anything and just let people believe he had been. His natural feelings of inadequacy made him think that he would suffer for this, even though he hadn't done anything and Rei had made an honest, albeit royal, mistake.

Finally, he caved.

"Alright."

Rei only smiled as she lead him to her apartment.

Phase III has been completed. Rei mused as she lead Shinji back to her apartment, her hand holding his soft skin tightly. With Shinji-kun incapacitated by the rainstorm, he was unable to attend school today, thus making no attempt at correction for my explanation to representative Horaki regarding his whereabouts. With everyone from school and NERV believing that the Third Child and I have had physical sexual intimacy, he will have to go along with this in order that he suffers no further repercussions from them all. And now, for Phase IV. She grinned mischievously.

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Authors Notes:

I'm sure I'm going to get flamed for this, reviled, disdained and condemned for writing this story, but to be honest, I couldn't help it.

The writings are mine, but the original story idea came from Misconceptions. I read the story some months ago and I have been waging an internal battle as to whether or not to expand upon this story. I finally decided to take a chance and just do it. I do not own that story, but the general idea was taken from it.

I am also sorry that I made Misato a captain in the first chapter, and she's a major in this one. I should have explained it better, that Rei was unaware of Misato's current rank change. So she just assumed that Misato was still a captain.

There. Glad that's all cleared up. Whew!

Also, I know that at the end, Rei seemed just a little too cunning and crafty, even for someone who was raised by Gendo and Ritsuko. Nevertheless, I wanted everyone to understand just how invested Rei was to this plan, and just how cunning she could be when it comes to something she wants. And in this story, she wants Shinji.

Chapter 3 will be up soon, so for now, enjoy this one.