Envy grasped his side as he was flung through through the gate. His funny purple eyes could not contain his surprise as he crossed this gate: Hogwarts gate.

"what a marvelous place this is" Envy mused as he took the shape of a little brown haired kid with a strange markings upon his forehead, then quickly discarded the child down a well, which may have been a resoviour.

"Everybody get your pens out" said Snape, his beautiful hair, greased against his lusciously elder skin, slightly wrinkled with experience in the Dark Arts.

Envy looked sharply towards his right, where the Speaker was sourced. His luxouriously green long hair was now short and brown and flopped round his head like a flaccid leaf, rearranging itself into incoherent layers of mystery! The dark professor's head snapped at a 90 degree angle to glare at his most hated student's body, not knowing it was now inhabited by one of the deadliest creatures on earth...The hormoneculous.

But because Envy didn't play the part of the annoying Potter boy, snape didn't pay him any attention and dismised the class with pats and shakes on the head. Envy didn't leave. He was transfixed by the sight of the oily teacher whose sight in contrast didn't work if envy didn't move, like a tyranosaurus rex. Snape, thinking he was alone, slowly withdrew his hand then magic'd away a puddle on the floor. Envy's eyes widened.

'It's alchemy! We're exactly the same!'

Envy transformed into his regular form and Snape froze unsure excitement at the lithe figurine of heavenly pleasure and delights, suspecting a dark veela, as dark as himself, who is white.

"I am a homonculous, I want to learn the alchemy so I can create a human, because that is my greatest wish," confessed the dear Envy.

"Well," Sly'd Snape, "we can make babies..."

"... we can make babies?"

"yes."

So then Snape inserted his other magical rod into the quivering penile hole of the delicate envy and thrust until they came excidedly and a few months later (because homonculous age faster) a baby was forming in Envy's testicles, one in each.Snape cradled the 3 pound lupkins.

"They've swollen to three times their original size! " Snape marvelled.

"yes," Envy cooed, mothernly, "we're having twins!" A tear of joy riddled down his cheek.

A long time pased before Snape was the one to cut open the sacks of joy only to find they BOTH looked like Harry Potter!

"Uh Yuck! Why?" Squealed Snape as he often did.

Before Envy could form a suitable reply, Snape had avada kedavra'd his beautiful bundles of joy, still cradled in their outer wombs.

At that exact moment Snape's heart shrivelled up like a dry prune, cast aside and left alone, and he never again knew the joy of child-fatherhood. because Envy died when he blasted his bundles.

The End.