Author's Notes- I got an idea for this fic while listening to "We Can't be Friends" a duet by Deborah Cox and RL. It's such a lovely old song and I thought the perfect couple for this song was Yuki and Shuichi! So enjoy!
"We Can't Be Friends"
"I don't think we should be together anymore... this was all a mistake... and I take all the blame because I thought you could love me the way I loved you—the way I still love you." Shuichi said sadly staring into his ex-lover's golden eyes.
"So, your leaving me... I get it and I guess your right." Yuki said blankly.
"I hope we could still be friends."
Yuki indifferently put out his hand and Shuichi shook it for the last time remembering the feel of his soft but powerful hands. These hands that continuously drove pleasure from him. These hands-long and slender- would never be seen again. Shuichi was broken inside.
Shuichi walked out of Yuki's house and stood in front. This was the end and there was nothing in his aching heart that he could do about it because if he went back... it would mean that Yuki would once again prove that he was right and that he had no will of his own. Yes, the reason did show right in the singer's mind, but having a reason never helps with how you felt and right now he was completely torn.
Everything was over.
-6 months later-
"Damn." The famous novel writer Yuki Eiri said to himself. His sales haven't been any better and his editor was being annoying—as usual—but now he was only more bitter and cold and it was never hard to figure out why.
His Shuichi was gone now.
With a small sigh he continued to work halfheartedly. His readers hadn't noticed the difference in his writing, but Yuki did add a lot more death endings to his love stories. He hated the fact that everything he wrote had a happy ending but, he himself wasn't granted that wonderful bliss. Maybe he never treated him well enough... maybe he never really loved the pink-haired punk pop rocker... no—scratch that—he did love him with all his heart and soul.
With another sigh he got up and stared out his window. It was raining. It had been raining a lot lately and at first Yuki thought it meant that something very important was coming, but soon realized that it just meant that somebody somewhere was mocking him. He took a sideways glance at the clock it marked 12 o'clock and he had somewhere to go.
It was noon, but nothing seemed to ever move withinYuki'smind. Time—as he knew it—stood still.
Both day and night came to him as dull shades of sad grey. No matter how golden his eyes were nothing ever shined any more.
He never threw away any of the things Shuichi ever gave him, and he never tried to remove him from his thoughts. He was used to holding on to memories because he once thought that he would forever hold onto memories of Yuki. But, it's all about Shuichi now.
And really he just wanted to hear him say his name again... maybe just once.
...just once...
8888
"Yuki...?"
Was this... a dream?
There he was... Shuichi just standing there at his brother's house. He was still beautiful with his simple blue denim jeans and light pink shirt and a tight leather jacket.
"Oh, hey... Shuichi, how's it going with you?" Yuki mused taking in every inch of the pinked-haired boy's body.
To just act like we never were
To come around and not show hurt
How dare we greet by shaking hands
Just months ago, I was your man, was your man
"Everything is fine, I guess." Yuki could swear there was a hint of sadness in his voice, but he shrugged it off. Looking in Shuichi's violet eyes he tried to resist the urge to pull him into a warm hug and apologize for everything."That's good.. but, what are you doing here?" He asked not really wanting an answer, but asked anyway.
"Well, I should be asking you the same thing... you were never really into the party scene, especially an NG thing. What made you come?" Yuki continued to fight the impulse that told him to take advantage of Shuichi's tender lips. But once again he didn't do it. They were, in fact, not together... but in Yuki's mind he still saw that face every morning and every night.
Verbally we'd agreed it was over
And we were through
I'm trying to compose myself
But I just can't get over you
"I, um... I don't really know 'why' I just knew that I had to." Now, he didn't even know what he was talking about. It was to hard to be his friend... He didn't want to be so incredibly close to touch, but too far to reach. It was mind-wracking and yet he didn't want to not see him at all... So, he swallowed hard and thought of the little bright sides of being his friend and only his friend.
We can't be friends
(Yeah, no oh)
We can't be friends you know I can't go on being just your friend, yeah
We can't be friends
Cuz I'm still in love with you
The music was low considering that the actual party starts at 9, but Yuki was told to come early to help out with the final touches. And it just so happens that Shuichi came early just for the heck of it, plus Tatsumi still considered Shuichi family even if he wasn't with his "hard headed brother" as he liked to call it.
I went by mother's, saw your car there
To her you're still family
And it don't seem fair
For everyone to just go on
And I've tried and I can't do it
Cuz I'm still torn
"Shuichi... you still have a lot of things at my house. I never touched it..." He trailed off finding a lot more interest in the cigarette now in his mouth than ever before. "So, you can pick it up whenever you feel like it."
"I thought you got rid of everything... I mean... it's been six months. But, on a brighter note, you're still pretty much the same, right? I mean, you still write and six months isn't too long anyway." He beamed. Yuki missed that yet he still wondered how his simple sentence changed the whole mood and putting the subject on them.
And in all truth... both heart were shattered that fathful day, leaving only minutes of eternity.
Yuki mentally cursed himself again, blaming himself for what looked like a mutual agreement. Shuichi had pulled him out from a darknessnamed "Yuki" and now he was being put right back in. Only this time Shuichi was the one that was always on his mind.
I tried to think of you as just another love
In my past that didn't last
But it's not that simple, baby
"Yeah... six months went by like the wind. And to think six months ago we actually thought we would last forever..." Yuki said making his sadness very clear to Shuichi and the small crowd of fan girls outside waiting for a party to start."
" 'We,' huh? You've never said 'we' before... but I guess I made myself hear those words everyday and now you say it as if it's always been 'we.'"
Yuki could hear the unbeatable pain and anger in the singer's voice and he wanted so badly to ease that pain... he wanted so badly to kiss away every tear that the boy ever had. He didn't want to be friends with Shuichi if it meant he couldn't do so badly what he wanted to do... tell him that he truly loved him.
We can't be friends
(oh no, no, no, no)
We can't be friends(If we, if we can't be lovers)
We can't be friends
Cuz I'm still in love with you
"How could you say that?" He started, crushing the cigarette in his clenched fist. He wanted to scream at him.
Yes, Yuki was secretive about some things, but he never stopped loving Shuichi—not even for a second. It's just that Shuichi was the type to shout out his love to the world and he was the type to watch you while you slept. It was his way of loving Shuichi without all the problems that came with it. Sighing for the third time that day Yuki walked out, leaving Shuichi there to stare at his back.
He never even got to hear the rest of the song that played exactly to the feelings of his heart.
8888
Shuichi steadily walked up the steps to Yuki's door. Six months ago he broke down and cried his eyes out right where he stood. He had no shame as he cried many months ago, and he didn't care that his own fans that walked by stared... because it was over that day, or at least that was what he thought.
But, today was the first sunny day in a long time and he's right back to where he thought it ended.
"Maybe this is meant to be a sign that something good will happen." He smiled to himself and knocked on the door. There wasn't a response. "I guess he hasn't changed... I just hope the lock hasn't changed either." Yes, he did keep his key. He worked hard to convince Yuki into giving him a copy and nothing could ever changed that. Finally, he pulled out a small sliver key from his comically big pants pocket.
Slowly opening the door, the pink-haired singer took a small step in. "Everything is the same... he really didn't move a thing. But, why is it so cold in here?" Shuichi continued to talk to himself and looking around for his things until he got to the bedroom.
Everything seemed so unused, as if no one as even been in it since the last time he and Yuki made love. He could even still smell the pocky and cigarettes that would fill the air and give you the feeling of a bittersweet kiss that can never escape your senses. Shuichi breathed deep, after today he wouldn't have a reason to be there even if they were still friends in some way, it just wouldn't feel right.
The sun illuminated the room causing Shuichi to lustfully stare at the bed in a dreamy state. The room was filled with the orangy glow of the midday and Shuichi wanted nothing better than to rest on the bed that was now restricted from him. He was no longer allowed to be here or anywhere near here. He wasn't allowed because Yuki wasn't his lover, but his friend.
"I don't belong any more..." No sooner he heard the door slam shut. It was time to go, but before he could turn away, Yuki was at the door.
Shuichi's heart froze. Yuki just stood there. Shuichi wanted nothing better then to tear away from Yuki's stare but he couldn't, as if Yuki mere presence pulled him into an endless daze. The clock only ticked twice and a cold sweat was already daring to run down his back.
"I didn't think you wouldget here so early... do you want something? A drink, um... soda?" Yuki took a step closer. Shuichi was happy he finally broke the sneering silence but he was still being watched so closely by his ex-boyfriend.
He soon found himself face to face with him and Shuichi couldn't help but blush. Yuki is the only person who could ever get a reaction like that from him without any effort what so ever.
"No, thanks... it turns out that I won't be needing any of the stuff that's still here, so..." Shuichi said, suddenly finding the floor more appealing than Yuki's gaze.
You may see me staring Or catch me in a daze
May see me hang my head
When you come my way
Don't get too close to me
And expect me to behave
"Shuichi I..." Shuichi wanted to hear something—anything to help stop the tears that was already hitting the back of his eyes. He didn't know why he wanted to cry and he didn't know why he fought them back so cautiously, but he did.
"What?" He said finally looking up to be caught and held down by Yuki's eyes. "I... I don't..." Yuki leaned down and light pressed his lips over the singer's.
I might just steal a kiss
If you come near my face
What I'm trying to say is...
"You don't what?" Shuichi said finally being able to pull away from the sweetness of Yuki's mouth and tongue melting with his own. "You don't what, Yuki?" Hewhispered harshly, clenchings his fist tightly at his sides.
"I don't want to be friends..."
Violet eyes widened in shock. Whay was Yuki doing this to him?
He only wanted to remain friends because he didn't want to lose Yuki forever or completely and now he wouldn't see him at all. "And I never want to be friends with you..." Yuki's eyes were in pain and Shuichi could see that, heheld down more tears as his heart skipped a beat and his ran instantly cold...
...now this he only wants to ask one question.
"Don't you love me? Did you ever love me?" He took small steps forward almost closing the place between them and looked straight into his eyes. "Can you look me in the eyes and say it?" He poured out slowly, hot tears running down his flushed cheeks.
We can't be friends
Can you look me in the eyes and honestly say you don't love me?
Said do you know
I know
With that Yuki didn't hold back as he pulled Shuichi into the hug that was long overdue."If we can't be together... then we can't be friends... because I'm still very much in love with you."
"Yuki..." He held on tight to Yuki's sleeves as none of them pulled away from the embrace. "Yuki... I wanted to stay but-"
"Shuichi, I won't let you leave again... not without knowing this..."
I'll never ever find another love like you, oh no
I love you too much baby
I love you too much, oh
We can't be friends
I'm still in love with you
With you
"...I love you." Shuichi smiled knowing that he finished Yuki's sentence.
"I love you, Shuichi..." It was allShuichi ever wanted and allYuki ever thought of.
I am
Still in love
Still in love
With you
Author's Notes: ...well what can I say about this? I hope everyone liked it as much as I loved writing it because I really did work hard on it. Please review because I love them sooo much!
