Next time we walk
Disclaimer: Yes, the fellowship is stuffed in my closet. And if you pay me enough, you might be able to have one...till then they're all mine.
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The fellowship stands around the platform looking bored. Their boredom is interupted as a band of teenagers spot Legolas and run over screaming.
"Orlando Bloom!" One shouted hysterically. "It's Orlando Bloom!"
"Can I have your autograph Orlando?" Another begged, her masquera becoming smeared with tears of happiness.
"I'm like your biggest fan! Will you marry me?" A third teen begged, throwing herself at the horrified Elf's feet.
"Help me! I'm being attacked!" Legolas yelled as the girls clung to him, still screaming hysterically.
Aragorn laughed from the sidelines. "You're an elf. Get out of it yourself."
Legolas began trying to detach hands from his body. "Well what am I supposed to do?"
"Just do what Pippin and I do Legolas!" Suggested Merry from where he and the hobbits were sitting on a bench.
"And what might that be?" Legolas yelled over the screams of the fangirls.
"Run!" Pippin exclaimed before all four hobbits began to laugh.
Aragorn shook his head. "Legolas wouldn't do that." He laughed. "Legolas would stand and fight."
"Yeah right. I'm with the hobbits on this. I'll meet up with you later." Legolas sprinted off with the fangirls tearing after him.
Aragorn watched his friend disappear into the crowd and turned to Gandalf. "What do we do now? The fellowship is breaking."
Gandalf shrugged, then continued to study his surrondings. "We must stick together and hope for the best."
Merry got up and began to wander around. All of a sudden the hobbits heard him give a cry. "Look! Food!"
Sam, Frodo, and Pippin all ran to his side. Merry was standing in front of a concession stand. A salesman peered from over the counter at his vertically challenged customers. "What can I get you boys?" He asked, giving the hobbits a friendly smile.
"That all depends." Frodo tried peering over the counter. "What do you have?"
"How about a hot dog for the young gentleman?" The salesman asked. All four hobbits looked revolted.
"A dog!" Sam exclaimed angrily, while Frodo, Merry, and Pippin looked sick. "I'm not going to eat your dog! That's barbaric!"
The salesman looked startled for a minute, then replaced his smile. "How about some nachos and cheese?"
The hobbits looked confused. Finally Merry spoke up. "Do you have anything edible?"
The salesman was starting to look annoyed. "How about a hamburger? Do you like hamburgers?"
The hobbits exchanged a look of confusion, then quickly made a huddle.
"I didn't know dogs were edible." Sam said, while the rest of the hobbits shuddered.
"Neither did I." Merry glanced up at the salesman, then looked back at the other hobbits. "Listen guys, I think the gentleman is a little insane."
"Insane?" Frodo gave a little laugh. "I think he's beyond that. Let us take our business elsewhere." The hobbits turned back to the salesman. "Thank you kindly sir, but we'll take our business elsewhere."
The salesman put his smile back on. "All right. Have a good day."
Merry, Pippin, Frodo and Sam wandered back to where Aragorn and Gandalf were trying to figure out a way to Gondor. In a few minutes Legolas comes walking back to the group, obviously in disguise. He has on a trench coat, combat boots, and sunglasses.
"There you guys are. I've been looking all over for you." Legolas smiled in relief. After he had escaped from his fangirls, he had never thought he would get back.
Aragorn furrowed his brow in confusion. "I'm sorry sir, do I know you?"
"Yeah, its me." Legolas replied, expecting his life-long friend to recognize the sound of his voice.
Aragorn looked skeptical. "You don't look like anyone we know."
Merry came up and patted Legolas's arm. "Of course we know you!" He laughed before turning and whispering to Aragorn, "You'll have to excuse the fellow Aragorn. This world is full of mad people."
Aragorn nodded in understanding before turning back to Legolas. "I'm so sorry sir! How did I not recognize you before? Of course I know you!"
Legolas stomped his foot angrily. "I am not insane! It is I, Legolas!"
Pippin laughed. "You're not Legolas. He doesn't look anything at all like you!"
Legolas rolled his eyes. "I'm in disguise. I'm hiding from those people who were attacking me."
Gimili raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that you're Legolas laddie?"
Aragorn folded his arms across his chest. "Yeah. Say something only Legolas would say."
Legolas rolled his eys again then sighed. "Mirkwoodnites are lots better than Gondorians."
With a gasp Aragorn jumped on Legolas and began to beat him up. Gimili quickly intervened and pulled Aragorn off Legolas. "That's him all right. Only that lad would say something that crazy."
Aragorn sighed. "I guess you're right. Sorry about that Legolas."
Legolas pulled himself off the ground before dusting off his trenchcoat. "I forgive you and your lack of intelligence."
Aragorn blinked in confusion. "What?"
Legolas gave a little laugh, then turned to Gandalf. "See what I mean Gandalf?"
Gandalf looked up from where he was studying the effect of frying an ant with a magnifying glass. "What are you talking about?"
Legolas sighed and regretted the day he had signed up to join the fellowship. "Never mind. Where are we going now?"
Gandalf gave the ant one final look before straightening. "Well, since Gondor would be in that direction, I think we should head over there." He pointed in the direction of a cinema that was lining one of the streets in the city.
Aragorn looked happier now that they were heading toward his kingdom. "Let us go then!" He exclaimed before leading the fellowship down the street.
The fellowship arrived in front of the cinema and looked around. Finally Merry broke the silence. "This Gondor?" He asked.
"No way Merry, its the Shire." Pippin said sarcastically while clapping Merry on the shoulder.
"I still think we're in Rohan." Frodo rolled his eyes.
"No!" Sam exclaimed seriously. "We're in Mordor! Where the shadows lie!"
Sure enough, the company is standing in the shadow of a building.
"By Elrond, he's right!" Aragorn looked very surprised to find out Sam was right about anything besides food.
"Well, if this is Mordor, where are all the orcs?" Legolas asked, looking around for the enemy.
"Maybe they're in disguise like you laddie." Gimili suggested, trying to be helpful.
Legolas rolled his eyes before discarding his disguise. "I think I'm safe now." He added, looking around carefully.
"Let's go into this establishment and ask for directions." Gandalf commanded before leading the fellowship into the cinema.
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Well, if you thought this chapter was insane, all I have to say is, it gets worse. evil maniac laughter I have warned you all...
Thank you so much luthien thranduilion and Manwathiel for the reviews! . huggles you both
Feel free to review, I accept all types. Thankies!