Next time we walk

Disclaimer: I have taken ze hobbitses captive and ze are being held for ransom. Pay me money and you vill get hobbit of your choice. Okay, writing in that accent was annoying...what I'm trying to say is, the fellowship has been kidnapped by myself, but other then that, all ideas are mine. Steal them and I come after you. Enjoy!

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The fellowship looks around the mall. While the others are confused, Legolas, the mall expert, knew exactly where they were. "I think we're in a mall." He said a bit modestly, trying not to act like a know-it-all like Gandalf.

Aragorn looked around and recognized the truth of Legolas's observation. "Look at all the weird clothes." Aragorn shuttered. "Can you imagine wearing these things?"

Legolas sniffed disdainfully. "Some people have no taste."

"Like you?" Gimili asked innocently.

Legolas's blue-grey eyes flashed dangerously. "What was that?"

Aragorn rolled his eyes. He wasn't in the mood for dealing with the fights that broke out between the dwarf and the Elf. "Come on now. We don't have time for this. There appears to be a path this way. Let's follow it."

The fellowship wanders out of the clothing store and into the main part of the mall. They have been looking around for a little bit, until all of a sudden, Frodo spots a mall Santa sitting with a child on his knee. "Look!" Frodo shouted. "It's Gandalf!"

The four hobbits race through the throng of people to the side of the wizard that they had grown to love, just as one of the children gets off his lap and runs back to his parents.

"Gandalf!" Shouted Pippin in hobbitish glee. "We're so glad we've found you!"

"Yes, we've been looking all over!" Merry added, his face lighting up.

The mall Santa laughed. "Ho, ho, ho! Looks like some little boys can't wait to see Santa! What's your name, little boy?"

Merry looked annoyed. "You know my name!" He shouted, the smile slidding off his face. "It's Pippin!"

The Santa laughed again, unaware of what was about to happen. "Of course I did Merry!" He picked up the confused hobbit and placed him on his lap. "Now, what do you want for Christmas?"

Merry's face went pale. "Help! Sexual Harassement!"

"Don't worry Merry! We'll save you!" Sam cried before all four hobbits began to beat up Santa.

In his anger, Frodo grabbed on to Santa's beard and yanked hard. It came off in his hands. He stared at it for a minute, then looked up at the other three hobbits, all of whom were still beating Santa furiously. "Hang on guys. I don't think this is Gandalf."

The hobbits stopped beating Santa and studied him critically. "I agree with Mr. Frodo." Sam stated stoutly before turning to Merry and Pippin. "Come on. Let's go."

The four hobbits walked back to where they had left Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimili. Only now, only Aragorn and Gimili remained.

The hobbits looked around for a sign of the blonde Elf. "Where's Legolas?" Frodo asked, his blue eyes squinting up in confusion.

"Up in this tree." Aragorn replied, indicating the tree they were standing under. All four hobbits looked up and sure enough, Legolas was sitting in the tree. He had his arms crossed and was looking extrememly grumpy.

"What's he doing up there?" Pippin asked. In his mind, that was strange behavior, even for an Elf.

Gimili chuckled. "Oh, he's just in a bad mood because the trees are indoors."

Aragorn looked up at Legolas and said loud enough for Legolas to hear. "But now he won't come down, will he Legolas?"

Legolas remained defiant to the ranger from the north. "The trees have right! The trees need to live outdoors!"

Merry raised an eyebrow. "How would you know?"

Legolas closed his eyes and looked dramatic. "They speak to me." He murmured as a breeze from an unknown source ruffled his hair. "I feel their presence."

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "I think he's insane." He whispered to Merry and Pippin, who both nodded.

"It's the influence of this world. It's wearing off on him." Pippin whispered back, looking wise.

Just then, a mall security guard walking by glanced up in the tree and spotted Legolas. "Sir, please get out of the artificial tree!" He shouted up at Legolas.

Legolas looked startled and nearly fell out of the tree. "Artificial?"

"Means fake." The guard responded before continuing on his routine.

"I knew that." Legolas muttered as he climbed out of the tree.

"So Legolas." Gimili began once the Elf was back on the ground. "How can the trees speak to you if they are fake?"

Legolas gave him a frosty glare. "Shut up."

Aragorn gave Merry and Pippin a sly smile before turning to the Elf. "You know that in Elvish, Legolas means green leaf right?"

Legolas gave him a weird look, one that he would have given an Elf in an artificial tree. "Yeah...Legolas Greenleaf is what I have been called by some."

Aragorn smirked. "So, you're name is really Green leaf, green leaf?"

As the rest of the fellowship broke out into laughter, Legolas turned to Aragorn. "Want to know what your name means in Elvish?"

Aragorn shrugged. "Sure."

"Royal tree." Legolas stated as the rest of the fellowship began laughing even harder.

Long after Frodo, Sam, and Gimili stopped laughing, Merry and Pippin were still holding their sides as giggles took control of them.

"Hey...hey Merry...want to know...what...what royal tree spelled backwards is?" Pippin gased between giggles.

"Oh my gosh, I think I know!" Merry exclaimed, his eyes flowing with tears of laughter.

"Eert loyar!" Pippin and Merry both shouted before falling on the ground and rolling around with laughter. The rest of the fellowship stared blankly.

"That's not funny." Aragorn noted, giving each of the hobbits a blank look.

"I think it's funny." Legolas muttered, earning a reproachful look from the ranger, which was exactly what he wanted.

Aragorn looked around for something that would allow him to get back at Legolas. He found a plastic leaf that had fallen not far from the artificial tree. "Look Legolas!" He cried, picking it up and holding it in front of the Elf's blue-grey eyes. "It's you!"

Legolas rolled his eyes. "That's old. I've heard that one before." He walked over to the articial tree and carved a crown into it. "Look Aragorn!" Legolas said in perfect imitation of Aragorn. "It's you!"

Aragorn glared at the Elf. "That's not funny either."

"Hey, where's Gimili?" Pippin asked all of a sudden.

Everyone looked around, but the dwarf was no where to be found.

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So now Gimili has mysteriously vanished, a mall Santa has been beated up, and there is still no sign of Gandalf! What is happening to the fellowship? Are they breaking at last? Prepare for more mishaps at the mall when I return! vanishes

reappears And to Manwathiel, Killing Perfectionist, luthien thranduilion, and phylitr, you all recieve minature artificial trees! Thanks so much for reviewing!

And if anyone wants to review, they can, because while I might seem evil at times, deep down inside I am really a nice person. Really. winks

Thankies!